I Can't Forget

«I can’t forget» that’s the first book by Adile Abbas-ogly. This book of memories of an old woman, who first lived in the family of Nestor Lakoba, a prominent Abkhazian personality, and then came through a period of Stalin’s repressions, has left untouched no one who read it. Not long ago a new book «Abkhazia – my destiny» was published, more comprehensive and supplemented with achieve materials. A daughter of an Abkhazian woman and an Iranian, who settled down in Abkhazia at the end of 19th century, Adile Abbas-ogly married a brother of Saria, Nestor Lakoba’s wife, at the age of 15. Saria was of primary importance in her life. Adile’s aunt was on friendly terms with Nestor’s wife. Adile recollects how she first entered into Lakoba’s house, being a small girl girl then. Saria was very clever, farsighted. She knew that it was my aunt who was the best to make Abkhazian adjika. Here, to Gagra, Stalin used to come and she trusted her only to make adjika. My aunt locked herself up, let no one inside, making adjika that Stalin loved so much. It was there where she noticed me. I was 10 years old then, 30ties years. She saw me and told my aunt: “Ekaterina, dear, come to me, and take your niece with you”. The time after her marriage, when Adile lived in Saria and Nestor’s family, was the happiest period in her life. But the happiness was not long to last. 37th is the year of Nestor’s death and the arrest of her husband, father, Saria. Adile felt the work of Stalin’s repression machine fully and described it all in her book. As all the others from Nestor’s surroundings, she came trough damp words, halting places, endless examinations of NKVD and exiles. Amongst all who surrounded Lakoba Adile is the only one to stay alive after all these nightmares. Adile does not consider herself a writer, she believes that it was her debt to tell the world about Nestor Lakoba’s *** and about what his family and friends had to come through. I was in Moscow, talked to many important persons, they told me that “all the documents (those I wrote about) were confirmed”. Copies from achieves were collected from Batumi, from Tbilisi – from everywhere. I’m no writer, I’m an ordinary woman. What I saw, what I heard, what I understood – that’s what I wrote down. There are lots of bright moments in the book also. In spite of her 90 years Adile recollects the smallest details of her child life in Sukhumi. Up to 37th year Abkhazia was the most independent among all the soviet republics thanks to Nestor Lakoba efforts. High life in Sukhum seethed up to the moment the repressions started. When New Year was coming, everyone congratulated each other, and I remember such a thing: children gathered, from every district, and they made boats of cardboard, painted them, decorated with lamps. And they came to every house, very late, just before the noon. The neighbours were already waiting for them and the children sang (shall I continue?) “sow, blow, sow out, happy new congratulate, open your trunks, take out your coins”. And they threw us hard cash… Adile’s past rarely leaves her in peace. Especially often her past cames to her in dreams. Most often Adile sees Saria in her dreams. Not long ago I woke towards morning. In my dream Saria, wearing a black dress, came to me and, shaking her head, told me: “Dilenka, how thin you grew, how thin you grew”, and disappeared gradually. And before that I saw a dream, I forgot to tell about it, even in book I left it out. as if I came (are you listening?) to them , approached them, and she told me: “You thought we disappeared?!” My husband was sitting, with Nazya, Musta (family members) and she added to me in abhkazian also “You think we are dead? We are not dead, we are alive”. That’s what she told me. Came to me, kissed me on the forehead, and I was looking at them perplexed and wished to go away without being noticed. “We are alive, we are not dead”… Several times she told it! I woke because of screaming. Mom asked me “What’s up with you?!” “I saw Saria in my dream”, and my mom told me “You see, Dilya, time will come and they, as Saria told that they were alive, everything will be remembered” And indeed!