" Hans in the ointment ": Alexi Laiho 2/3

Hans: Welcome back to visit the guitar player Alexi Laiho in LA. Hans: Aperitifs have been drunk and we're ready to roll. Hans: The notorious headbanger of Santa Monica, Stefan Richter, has promised to bring on his best. Hans: I've ordered a menu for us. Alexi: What did you have in mind? Hans: Actually I just said to Stefu that he can do whatever he wants. Alexi: And there he is. Hans: Hey baldy! Stefan: Hi Välimäki. Baldy who, me or you? Stefan: Here we have iceberg lettuce, blue cheese and bacon. Hans: Alexi or Allu has never been interested in cooking. Hans: Now the goal is to inspire him to become as good with the spatula as he is with guitar. Alexi: I'm not sure how I'm supposed to approach this. Hans: It's just a pile of lettuce. Alexi: Yeah, but is it frozen? No, it's just a chunk of lettuce. Hans: This is a very traditional and easy to prepare, and a classic American diner salad. Hans: The lettuce is a bit nutty flavoured and there's bacon on top, I think it works pretty well. Alexi: I have never even seen this anywhere. Hans: Really? Hans: This is something you could even eat before a gig, so you don't get bloated. Alexi: That's true. Hans: Piece of bread and this. Alexi: I guess I have to tune up our rider for the tour. Hans: A rider is the bands wish list of the backstage catering and other supplies. Hans: Some bands rider is a case of *** and a roll of toilet paper. Hans: Then some bands demand everything from gourmet food to vintage wines, linen table cloths, design furnitures and flower arrangements. Alexi: I wonder what that is? Hans: Ok, greetings from Brussels. Hans: It's Brussels sprouts, it's actually pretty good. Alexi: I'm not sure how many of those I can take, but lets try it. Alexi: These kind of things freak me out. Alexi: I'm not so exited about these. Hans: No? Alexi: I'm sorry. Let's smash it to the wall. Hans: Let's do that. Hans: Fresh Californian sauvignon blanc wine brings us smoothly to the next dish. Doesn't it, Allu? Alexi: It's ok, but I'm not really a wine expert. Alexi: If it's dry, cold and expensive then it's fine by me. Stefan: What's pumpkin in Finnish? Hans: Eat it up. Alexi: I'll process this moment for a while. Hans: Are we cooking this tomorrow? No? Alexi: I think salty and sweet just don't mix. Hans: So the salad has made it to the finals? Alexi: The salad is the best so far. Stefan: Corn dog is an American classic, where a frankfurter is put on a stick, wrapped in a corn dough and deep-fried in oil. Hans: So this is your favorite? Alexi: What a surprise, a Finnish guy likes sausages and mash. Alexi: I've always been into corn dogs, but we don't have them in Finland. Hans: Should we make these tomorrow? Alexi: Let's do that. Hans: So we have the salad for starters and... Alexi: Or should we have corn dogs for starters and chicken as the main course? Hans: We can do that too. Stefan: Here we have chicken in Lapin Kulta beer sauce. Alexi: This chicken is delicious. Do you like it? Hans: Yeah, I like it. Alexi: I haven't tried this other thing yet, is it ok? Hans: It's excellent. Alexi: Ok, then I'll probably let it be. Hans: Try it. Hans: You don't like it? Alexi: I preferred the chicken without it. Hans: We have tried some options here, which one would you prefer as the main course: chicken or corn dogs? Alexi: A good question. Hans: We can also combine this chicken with the mash. Alexi: The mash that came with the corn dogs? That was awesome, let's do that with chicken. Hans: And which one for starters: corn dogs or salad? Alexi: Let's do both. Hans: Ok so we have three courses. Hans: How many guests are coming? Alexi: My girlfriend is coming, and then the Deftones vocalist Chino and his wife. Alexi: And by the way, we are going to their house because they have a better kitchen. Alexi: So you will have better facilities to work with. So let's go there and see what happens. Hans: Ok. Thanks, Stefan. We have now the three courses decided. Hans: Next we hit the kitchen. Warm-ups watch out, it's time to cook!