Should I Learn Emacs Or Vi?

Should I learn Emacs or Vi? Oh, you want to pick a side in the editor wars. I want to know which one is better. If you're going to be working with Linux or Unix, Vi is better. When is Emacs better? I don't want to bash Bash, but Emacs does allow you to simplify and streamline some of the functions of scripting languages. It isn't just Bash. There's Perl, too. And there are other languages like Python and PHP, where Emacs slow you down when you try to create them. And that is on top of the Emacs taking forever to learn. At least in programmer polls it is only the third most baffling language to learn. I'm not sure I want to learn any language or text editor that's on the most baffling languages list. Haskell and Lisp are probably on a similar list, in terms of complexity and difficulty. But Lisp and Haskell have followings going back years, approaching the level of a cult. You could say Objective C is the programming language for the cult of Apple. No, just the iPhone. Vi has the advantage of being a smaller and faster software program. But it isn't customizable. Given all the other programming languages and command shells you have at your disposal, customized commands are just one more thing you could forget. The only advantage of VIM I see is that it is almost always already installed on the machine. One advantage of Vi is that you don't over-extend yourself. With all the complexity of Emacs? With the hassle of reaching the control and meta keys. It's as if the placement of the Control and Shift keys are intended to slow down the use of Emacs. Given how much time and effort you have to invest in them to make them useful, maybe it is a hardware designer's plan to make them so literally painful that they are abandoned for good.