Ocelote - Controlling the beast

Alex: Carlos is very, how you call it? Extravagant. And therefore, he's recognized a lot, due to how he expresses himself. He's one of the most professional players we have. Carlos: At the beginning, I recognized that... I was very toxic, I will be honest. Alex: Patience is the one thing that Carlos - as a Spanish guy - doesn't have. Carlos: I got banned two times by the Tribunal by constant flaming in the past. So, I mean, I'm not an angel, you know? I will tell you the truth. Sometimes I rage. Alex: Carlos wants to be better as a player, and he understands that he can only be better as a player if he's calm inside - if he focuses on his game alone. Jeffrey: So we first heard about Carlos in July of 2011 I believe, and he was flagged by our Tribunal system. At the time he just got a warning, but what we saw in the months following, he got case after case in the Tribunal, and was quickly on his way to a perma-ban. Carlos: In the beginning... I tended to react pretty bad to the bad games I had, to the bad words people gave to me for being just known. Carlos streaming: [On Udyr] "I hate this champion! I hate this champion!" "He's going around 'LOLOLOLOL'! @#$% whatever stance he uses!" Carlos: I was just... not giving too many cares. I was just, ya know, "I'm flaming, nobody is noticing anything." "It's just my game, my thing. I don't care." Jeffrey: So Carlos was extremely critical on his teammates. In fact, some of the things he said were the worst we've ever seen in Tribunal cases. He was well-known in the community for wishing cancer on his own teammates. Carlos: So when I got an email saying that I had a warning for flaming, I was actually surprised, you know? I thought my behavior was like everybody else's behavior. Carlos streaming: "Wow, this guy man." "This guy is a *** man." Jeffrey: It was the repeated Tribunal cases that really made Carlos realize the severity of his actions, and that there would be consequences for these actions. Alex: It's not a perfect situation. Once you get stamped like that, the community will always look at you. Carlos: Well, it's funny. I remember one time I was in a game, and I was constantly bashing one guy - my jungler. Constantly. I was telling him he was doing the wrong ganks. I was telling him he was doing very bad. He was, honestly, he didn't say a single word, a single word the whole game. And at the end of the game, he didn't tell me, "I'm going to report you." He just told me, "Dude, you actually made me feel so bad that game." Alex: I kind of have a feeling for when he's having trouble... with personal life, or something is bothering him. And then I can see it when he's playing as well. Carlos: You know it's... it's something really sad that something like this has to happen for me to realize... but, it taught me the most important lesson of my life - literally. Since that moment, and the moment I went to Gamescom in 2011, and I found a guy in a wheelchair that came from Paris, actually, only to see me. And he told me I was a role model for him, and I was his idol. I realized that if I want to be a role model, and if I act like a ***, they're going to act like that too. I decided to change myself a little bit, thanks to those two things. Jeffrey: Carlos was one of the pro players that came to us. He came up to us and said, "I'm a pro player, and there's responsibility with that, and I want to change. How can you help me?" Alex: I tried to watch his stream as much as possible, and talk to him while I was watching his stream. So when he was shouting out some stupid comment, something that was in the direction of being toxic, it was, "Hey, no. This is not the direction we want to take this." Carlos: Now I decided to filter what I read, and only read the good stuff. If I start reading, "Ocelote you are so---." Okay, I stop. Jeffrey: So Carlos isn't perfect. In the middle of games, he still is going to rage, he's still going to feel frustrated. But, instead of taking his team down, he's now the guy who keeps his team together. Carlos: Right now, I'm a person that still rages of course, inside of me. But I try to make sure the people around me don't feel it. When you don't say anything, or the only things you say is "good job" or "well done", and you read all the stuff they write, or when they're raging or whatever, then you're like, "I was like this? I'm ashamed." Alex: He found his path in gaming, and he's marching on this path. There's almost nothing that can stop him. Carlos: You need to focus every day, being a better person. You don't need to just change from a devil to an angel from one day to another, because both things don't quite exist. We are always in the middle, but the problem is what we portray to the people around us.