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>> ALOHA.
>> WELCOME, MR. BOURDAIN.
>> ALOHA, MR. BOURDAIN.
>> ALOHA. WELCOME.
>> THANK YOU.
>> ALOHA. WELCOME.
>> AM I GONNA BE ABLE TO SEE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> MWAH!
>> ALOHA, MR. BOURDAIN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
> ALOHA. WELCOME TO THE KAHALA.
>> THANK YOU. THANKS.
WHERE'S MY ROOM?
THANKS, GUYS.
THIS IS A GOOD LOOK FOR ME, I
THINK.
I'M ANTHONY BOURDAIN.
I WRITE, I TRAVEL, I EAT, AND
I'M HUNGRY FOR MORE.
♪ UGH! ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO GET LOST ♪
[ WOMAN SINGING IN HAWAIIAN ]
>> I HAD MIXED EMOTIONS ABOUT
COMING TO HAWAII.
ON ONE HAND, I WAS APPREHENSIVE
ABOUT THE CLASSIC "CLICHE,
DON HO, LUAU, LOUD SHIRT, THE
WHOLE 'HAWAII 5-0'" THING.
[ HORN BLOWS ]
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, I LIKE
LOUD ALOHA SHIRTS, IN A
POST-IRONIC, POST-KRAMER,
HUNTER S. THOMPSON KIND OF WAY.
I LIKE AN UMBRELLA IN MY DRINK
AS MUCH AS ANY RED-BLOODED
AMERICAN GUY.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> AND OF COURSE THERE IS THE
ASIAN DIMENSION.
TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST, LIKE THE
WORST KIND OF SNOB, WHAT HAD
HELD ME BACK FROM HAWAII WAS
THAT IT WAS AMERICAN.
HOW GOOD COULD IT BE?
THE ANSWER -- PRETTY DAMN GOOD.
OF COURSE, I KNEW IT WAS
GORGEOUS.
BIG DEAL, RIGHT?
WELL, I HAD NO IDEA HOW
GORGEOUS.
AND THERE'S AN ATTITUDE AND
WORLD VIEW AND A CRAZY, COOKY
MIXED-UP CULTURAL CLASH HERE
THAT MAKES IT EVEN MORE PAINFUL
TO REALIZE HOW MUCH I'VE BEEN
MISSING.
BUT LET'S BEGIN AT THE
BEGINNING.
FIRST THINGS FIRST.
I NEED CLOTHES, RIGHT?
WARDROBE. INDIGENOUS GARB.
I WANT TO BLEND.
EVER SINCE I ARRIVED IN HAWAII,
ITS SIREN SONG HAS CALLED TO ME.
♪ Aloha! Aloha! Aloha! ♪
A FLASH OF BRIGHT COLORS, THE
PATTERNS OF A DIMLY REMEMBERED
PATIO PARTY, A VISION OF
SOMETHING LIKE THE HYBRID
MIXTURE OF BUSY WALLPAPER AND
MY CHILDHOOD JAMMIES...
MOTH-LIKE, I'M DRAWN TO IT.
>> ♪ ALWAYS ♪
>> HI. WELCOME TO BAILEY'S.
WE'VE GOT 15,000 ALOHA SHIRTS
HERE, THE BIGGEST SELECTION IN
THE WORLD.
>> HAWAIIANS WEAR HAWAIIANS
SHIRTS, SERIOUSLY?
>> I'D SAY A THIRD OF THE PEOPLE
WEAR THEM ALMOST EVERY DAY.
>> ACCORDING TO DAVID, ALOHAS
DATE BACK TO THE 1920s WHEN A
LOCAL KOMONO MAKER WAS HAVING
TROUBLE SELLING HIS WARES TO
TOURISTS.
HIS SOLUTION -- A KOMONO IN
SHIRT FORM.
THESE ORNATELY DECORATED
NOVELTIES SOON BECAME THE THING
TO BRING BACK FROM HAWAII.
>> WHAT DO I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT
SHOPPING FOR A SHIRT?
ARE THERE DISTINCT STYLES?
>> THERE IS A GOLDEN AGE WHICH
WAS FROM WORLD WAR II THROUGH
THE '50s.
THE ORIGINALS ARE UP HERE.
THEY'RE INVESTMENT SHIRTS.
>> NOW, YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT'S
THE SHIRT THAT MONTGOMERY CLIFT
DIED IN?
>> YEAH, IN THE MOVIE
"FROM HERE TO ETERNITY."
>> THEY DON'T MAKE CLASSICS LIKE
THESE THEY USED TO, AS THEY'RE
MADE OF RAYON AND HIGHLY
FLAMMABLE, BUT THAT ONLY MAKES
THEM MORE DESIRABLE.
>> WE'VE HAD NICOLAS CAGE AND
MATT DILLON AND PETER FONDA BUY
THOSE SHIRTS, AND JIMMY BUFFETT
PAID FOR OVER $4,000 FOR ONE
SHIRT.
>> BY THE WAY, ANYWHERE THERE'S
A PALM TREE OR A SKI SLOPE,
JIMMY BUFFET'S BEEN THERE FIRST.
HE'S DRIVING THE PRICE OF SHIRTS
UP.
HE'S OPENING HIS HAMBURGER
PLACES EVERYWHERE.
AND I HEAR THAT
DAMN "LOST IN MARGARITAVILLE"
SONG IN EVERY GOOD BAR IN THE
WORLD.
HE'S PERSONALLY RUINED MY LIFE.
>> DO YOU LIKE THIS ONE?
THIS IS KIND OF COOL.
>> YEAH, THAT'S TOO MUCH COLOR
FOR ME.
>> THIS IS THE COMPLETE HISTORY
OF BOEING RIGHT HERE.
HERE IS A LITTLE BIT MORE FORMAL
KIND OF LOOK.
>> JUST NOT FEELING IT.
THIS IS TOO CHEERFUL.
THIS IS DEFINITELY TOO HIP FOR
ME.
THIS IS THE PERFECT GIFT FOR MY
ALCOHOLIC FRIEND.
THE DAY WILL COME, I WILL WEAR
THAT.
I'LL BE LIVING IN FLORIDA AT THE
TIME.
YOU NEED TO NOT GIVE A [BLEEP]
IF YOU WEAR THIS SHIRT.
JIMMY BUFFET HAS ENOUGH MONEY
TO NOT GIVE A [ BLEEP ]
AS WITH TRUE LOVE, YOU DON'T
PICK YOUR SHIRT, IT PICKS YOU.
>> THAT'S A FAMOUS SHIRT, TOO.
>> YEAH.
>> THERE'S THE ORIGINAL.
>> WHAT SIZE IS THAT ONE?
>> THAT ONE IS A LARGE.
THAT WILL FIT YOU.
>> HOW MUCH IS THAT ONE?
>> THAT ONE IS ABOUT $2,000.
>> TWO GRAND? OUCH!
AND IT'S COMBUSTABLE.
ONE POO-POO-PLATTER MISHAP, AND
THAT COULD BE MY FUNERAL ATTIRE.
BUT I'M IN LOVE.
SHE MUST BE MINE, ALL MINE.
>> THAT FITS YOU PERFECT.
>> IT DOES, DOESN'T IT?
>> STUNNING.
>> THIS IS A TIMELESS AND
ENDURING CLASSIC.
YEAH, I'LL HAVE TO HAVE THIS.
>> YOU GOOF, BOSS.
>> OH, MAN. SUCH A DEAL.
THIS IS $3,000, NOT --
>> YOU STILL WANT IT?
>> [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
UH, OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
SOMEWHERE IN A DIAMOND-STUDDED
HOT TUB, JIMMY BUFFETT IS
LAUGHING.
>> MAHALO.
>> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>> "THANK YOU."
>> GUARANTEED TO GO UP IN VALUE.
>> YOU SURE?
>> YEAH.
>> LAUGH IT UP, BUFFETT.
I CAN ALWAYS RESELL THIS THING
TO NICOLAS CAGE AT A PROFIT.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE
FEELING HUNGRY BUT YOUR WALLET
IS SUDDENLY $3,000 LIGHTER?
IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, YOU LOOK FOR
SOMEPLACE THAT IS DELICIOUS,
INNOVATIVE, AND OF COURSE,
CHEAP.
PUKA DOG, ANYONE?
IT SOUNDS WRONG, WHICH MEANS,
CONVERSELY, IT'S GOT TO WORK.
MY FRIEND BRUNO AND I ARE GOING
TO CHECK OUT THE FINER POINTS OF
THIS ISLAND ORIGINAL.
SOUNDS LIKE A SCENE.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S SAY HELLO.
WELL, IF I'M LOOKING FOR THE
CLASSIC, THE QUINTESSENTIAL
PUKA DOG EXPERIENCE, WHAT SHOULD
I DO?
>> FIRST, YOU GO WITH A POLISH.
>> POLISH, FOR SURE.
>> AND THEN WE HAVE GARLIC
WE HAVE MILD, SPICY, HOT, AND
HOT-HOT.
>> EVERY GREAT CULTURE HAS ITS
OWN STRANGE, LOCAL, MUTANT FORM
OF THE HOT DOG, AND HAWAII IS NO
DIFFERENT.
FRESH-MADE SAUSAGE, WHACKY
TROPICAL TOPPINGS LIKE MANGO,
PINEAPPLE, COCONUT, AND BANANA
RELISHES AND GUAVA AND
PASSION-FRUIT MUSTARDS, A
HOMEMADE BUN IMPALED ON
SOMETHING VAGUELY
MEDIEVAL-LOOKING?
I'M SOLD.
OKAY, HERE WE GO.
OH, MAN, THIS IS TOTALLY
HYGIENIC.
THIS IS REALLY KOOKY.
>> YOU EVER SEEN SOMETHING LIKE
THIS?
>> NO, AND I'M THINKING THERE
ARE OTHER THINGS YOU COULD DO
WITH THIS.
I'M EXCITED AND AFRAID.
A TOASTED BUN, WHILE DISTURBING
IN APPEARANCE, IS INGENIUS IN
DESIGN.
THE TOPPINGS GO INSIDE, THE DOG
SLIDES IN AFTER, AWASH IN A SEA
OF DELICIOUS LUBE.
THANK YOU.
>> MUCH MAHALO.
>> HOW IS IT?
>> THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I
THOUGHT.
THIS MAKES NO [ BLEEP ] SENSE AT
ALL.
I LOVE IT.
WHAT UNCONVENTIONAL MIND COULD
BE RESPONSIBLE FOR SO WONDROUS
AN OPERATION?
VERY PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
DOMINIQUE QUINETTE WITH HER
HUSBAND, RICK, OWNER AND
OPERATOR OF PUKA DOGS.
I COULDN'T VISUALIZE WHAT MANGO
AND A HOT DOG AND ALL OF THESE
WOULD TASTE LIKE TOGETHER.
DELICIOUS. I LOVE IT.
>> AND IT'S REALLY HAWAIIAN.
THAT IS ALSO THE POINT.
>> I LOVE MY DOG.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
IT'S MY PLEASURE.
>> THANK YOU.
ONE PUKA DOG DOWN, AND I'M
JUST GETTING WARMED UP.
I'M READY TO TAKE THINGS TO THE
NEXT LEVEL.
WHAT DO DON HO, JACK LORD, AND
PINEAPPLE CHICKEN HAVE IN COMMON
WITH MY NEXT MEAL?
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
MMM, THAT'S GREAT.
>> CHEF FRIENDS WHO KNOW HAVE
REPEATEDLY DIABUSED ME OF THE
NOTION THAT HAWAIIAN FOOD IS
ANYTHING LIKE THE
HORRIFYING, FAUX-POLYNESIAN
STUFF I REMEMBER FROM MY YOUTH.
"IT'S ASIAN," THEY KEPT TELLING
ME.
THERE'S LIKE THOUSANDS OF
CHINESE, JAPANESE, FILIPINOS,
PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER YOUR
FAVORITE PARTS OF THE WORLD.
AND THEY'VE BEEN LIVING,
INTERMARRYING, COOKING, AND
EATING TOGETHER FOR LIKE AGES.
>> FILIPINO FOOD, JAPANESE FOOD.
YOU GOT CHINESE FOOD.
FOOD IS EXCELLENT.
>> I SEE MY OPENING.
I WANTED TO BELIEVE IT, BUT I
NEEDED PROOF.
AND THIS IS THE GUY WHO SAYS HE
CAN GIVE IT TO ME.
>> TONY, HOW YOU ARE?
NICE TO MEET YOU.
>> WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME FOR
LUNCH?
>> WE'RE GOING TO TRY THIS
HAWAIIAN PLACE.
IT'S CALLED ONO'S HAWAIIAN FOOD.
"ONO" MEANS GOOD.
IT MEANS DELICIOUS IN HAWAIIAN.
>> MY DINING COMPANION IS
COLIN NISHIDA, THE OWNER OF
A CHEF-FRIENDLY BAR AND GRILL
WHO INSISTS THAT THIS IS WHERE
YOU GET THE SOUL FOOD OF THE
ISLANDS.
THIS IS A LOCALS-ONLY TYPE PLACE
OR LOCALS-MOSTLY?
>> LOCALS-MOSTLY.
>> SOUNDS GOOD. I'M HUNGRY.
>> $1.50.
>> ONO HAWAIIAN IS THE TYPE
OF WELL-WORN PLACE I'VE COME
TO IDENTIFY AS A SAFE HAVEN FOR
THE WEARY TRAVELLER CONFUSED
ABOUT WHAT TO EAT.
AND IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME THAT
ENLIGHTENMENT HAS ARRIVED WITH A
HEALTHY DOSE OF SALT AND PORK.
>> HERE WE GO.
>> OH, ALREADY IT BEGINS.
WE START, HE INSISTS, WITH
LAU LAU, A MAMMOTH PURSE -- A
HANDBAG, REALLY -- OF PORK, SALT
FAT, AND BUTTERFISH, STEAMED IN
TARO AND TEA LEAVES.
>> DON'T EAT THIS OUTER TEA
LEAF.
YOU PEEL IT BACK AND BREAK IT
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE.
>> THAT'S PRETTY.
FATTY, SALTY, SAVORY GOODNESS.
MMM, MAN, THAT'S GREAT.
THE FOOD AT ONO IS UNIQUELY
HAWAIIAN, A TRUE FUSION OF
CHINESE, JAPANESE, KOREAN, AND
FILIPINO INFLUENCES.
AND ACCORDING TO COLIN, THERE'S
GOOD REASON FOR THIS.
>> BASICALLY, WE WERE ALL
SLAVES.
WE WERE BROUGHT HERE TO WORK THE
SUGAR-CANE AND THE PINEAPPLE
FIELDS.
EVERYBODY BROUGHT HOME-STYLE
FOOD, AND THAT'S THEIR CULTURE
HERE.
>> POOR-PEOPLE FOOD.
A LITTLE BIT OF A FLAVOR FROM
HOME AND WHATEVER YOU CAN FIND
WHERE YOU ARE, AND THAT BECOMES
THE THING.
>> CORRECT.
THIS IS WHAT WE'RE EATING.
>> THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED.
MOST OF WHAT WE COME TO BELIEVE
TO BE HAWAIIAN FOOD ON THE
MAINLAND IS REALLY SWEET.
I'M NOT TASTING THAT HERE AT
ALL.
THIS IS REALLY SAVORY.
>> I THINK SALT IS A KEY.
SALT IS A NUMBER-ONE SPICE IN
HAWAII.
>> AND THERE ARE MORE SALTY,
SAVORY TREATS WHERE THAT CAME
FROM.
>> LOMI LOMI SALMON, SALT-CURED
SALMON WITH TOMATOES.
PIPIKAULA -- SMOKE-CURED BEEF.
THIS IS THE SALT MEAT
WATERCRESS.
>> THIS IS LIKE FRENCH
POT-AU-FEU.
FANTASTIC.
>> PORK. THIS IS THE POI.
>> THIS IS THE STUFF THAT
EVERYBODY TALKS ABOUT.
"I'M GOING TO HAWAII."
"HAVE YOU HAD THE POI?" FIRST
THING THEY ASK.
SO I GUESS I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO
LIKE THIS?
>> IT TASTES LIKE PAPIER-MâCHé
PASTE.
>> BUT APPARENTLY, THIS STARCHY
SUBSTANCE MADE FROM MASHED TAROT
ROOT FUNCTIONS LIKE FUFU OR
GRITS, ORIGINALLY USED TO MAKE A
LITTLE MEAT GO A LONG WAY.
IT'S KIND OF A NEUTRAL FLAVOR.
>> YES.
>> THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO
SUCK?
IT'S GREAT!
>> THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL "STICK
TO YOUR RIBS."
>> MM-HMM.
THIS IS NOT THE
MARASCHINO-CHERRY GARNISH,
TECHNICOLOR NONSENSE I WAS
PREPARED FOR.
AND FOR THOSE MISCONCEPTIONS, I
ALMOST FEEL LIKE I OWE COLIN
AND THE PANTHEON OF LOCAL
LUMINARIES PAST AND PRESENT AN
APOLOGY.
FORTUNATELY, COLIN WAS QUICK TO
FORGIVE AND HAS INVITED ME TO
COME BY HIS BAR LATER TONIGHT.
YOU GET THE OCCASIONAL CHEF
COMES TO YOUR PLACE TO HANG
OUT AFTER WORK, I HEAR?
>> YEAH, ALL OF HAWAII'S TOP
CHEFS ARE IN AND OUT OF OUR
PLACE.
>> HOW COME THEY LIKE YOU?
>> WE'RE OPEN LATE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HANGING OUT WITH CHEFS AND
ENJOYING LOCAL INDIGENOUS
BEVERAGES?
I HATE THAT!
AS NIGHT FALLS ON HONOLULU,
CHEFS AND RESTAURANT PEOPLE DO
WHAT THEY DO -- THEY WORK.
BUT AFTERWARDS?
AFTERWARDS THEY TEND TO CONVENE
AT THE SIDE STREET INN FOR A FEW
DRINKS, IF NOT MANY DRINKS, AND
HEARTY, UNPRETENTIOUS FOOD, THE
KIND OF FOOD CHEFS EVERYWHERE
LIKE.
HEY.
>> THANKS FOR COMING DOWN.
ALAN, DEAN, RUSSELL.
>> COLLIN INTRODUCES ME TO SOME
OF HIS CHEF FRIENDS AND INDUSTRY
PEOPLE, INCLUDING GODFATHER
OF REGIONAL HAWAIIAN CUISINE
ALAN WONG.
>> HAWAII IS THE ONLY PLACE IN
THE WORLD THAT WILL SERVE YOU
SPAGHETTI WITH MEAT SAUCE,
GARLIC BREAD, TWO SCOOPS OF
RICE, AND A MIXED SALAD.
>> SO, HOW LONG HAVE YOU
GUYS BEEN COMING TO THIS PLACE?
HOW LONG YOU HAVE ALL KNOWN EACH
OTHER, FIRST OF ALL?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WAY TOO LONG!
>> I'M ALREADY LIKING THIS
PLACE.
LIKE ANY GOOD CHEF HANGOUT,
THERE IS NO SHORTAGE OF
DRINKING, TALKING SHOP, AND
BUSTING OF BALLS.
THESE DAYS, RESTAURANTS, THEY'LL
PAY CHEFS TO COME THERE.
>> CAN YOU REPEAT THAT?
WHAT WAS THAT LAST STATEMENT?
>> PUT IT ON MY TAB!
PUT IT ON MY TAB!
>> BUT, OF COURSE, THERE'S THE
FOOD.
SO, WHAT ARE WE EATING TONIGHT,
BY THE WAY?
LIKE HAWAII ITSELF, THE KITCHEN
AT SIDE STREET IS AN UEXPECTED
AND WONDROUS MASHUP OF FOOD AND
CULINARY TRADITIONS FROM EVERY
CULTURE THAT'S TOUCHED THESE
SHORES.
>> GIZZARDS.
>> OH, YEAH. I'M ALL OVER THAT.
>> I LOVE THE GIZZARDS.
>> THAT IS TOTALLY PUERTO RICAN,
BY THE WAY.
YOU WANT TO MAKE A PUERTO RICAN
CRY, YOU'LL SERVE THIS.
>> CHICKEN SAUSAGE.
>> THIS IS THE RIO.
>> MADE IN HAWAII.
>> REALLY?
>> MADE IN HAWAII.
>> FRIED SHRIMP.
>> THIS IS, LIKE, A CONDIMENT IN
BRAZIL.
YOU SPRINKLE IT ON THINGS.
AND THE HITS KEEP COMING --
ISLAND PAN-FRIED PORK CHOPS,
LOCALLY RAISED RIB EYE STEAK
WITH HAMAKUA ALI'I MUSHROOMS AND
MAUI ONIONS.
THIS PREPARATION OF STEAMED
FISH -- IN THIS CASE, FRESH
LOCAL MOI WITH HOISIN SAUCE AND
CORIANDER.
IT'S A CHINESE CLASSIC WITH A
LOCAL TWIST.
OH, YEAH, WE LIKE THAT.
I KNOW THIS PRESENETATION.
I HAPPEN TO BELIEVE, IF YOU LOOK
DEEPLY INTO THE HEART OF EVERY
GREAT COOK, THERE'S A CHINESE
GUY.
>> ALAN WONG IS IN EVERYBODY!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NEXT, A SPECIAL TREAT -- BABY
ALA MOANA.
>> SCRAPE IT OUT.
>> LIKE THIS?
>> YEAH.
>> ONCE AGAIN, MY ILL-INFORMED,
PRECONCEPTIONS OF WHAT TO EXPECT
IN HAWAII END UP BURIED IN AN
AVALANCHE OF GREAT FOOD.
ALL OF THESE AMAZING
ASIAN CULTURES, I MEAN, THEY'RE
COMING HERE AND MAKING GREAT
THINGS HAPPEN FOR A LONG TIME.
I MEAN, IT'S THE AMERICAN
SINGAPORE.
AND BY THE WAY, IT'S A STATE.
[BLEEP] DON'T NEED A PASSPORT.
AND IT'S HERE.
>> HERE WE GO.
>> THIS IS WHAT WE DO, RIGHT
HERE.
>> THANK YOU TAKING SO GOOD
CARE OF ME.
WAIMEA BAY -- MY CHANCE AT
BIG-WAVE GREATNESS OR PERHAPS A
FREE GURNEY RIDE BACK TO
NEW YORK.
>> THAT GUY COULD HAVE DIED.
>> FIND OUT WHEN WE COME BACK.
[ WOMAN SINGING IN HAWAIIAN ]
>> SO, WHERE WE GOING TODAY?
>> WE'RE GOING TO GO UP THE
COAST, TO THE THREE MOST FAMOUS
SURF SPOTS IN THE WORLD.
>> THE NORTH SHORE OF OAHU, HOME
TO THE BONZAI PIPELINE.
BIG-WAVE RIDING LEGEND
DERRICK DORNER IS HERE TO BREAK
IT DOWN FOR ME.
>> WHY IS PIPELINE DANGEROUS?
WHAT MAKES IT DANGEROUS?
>> THE WAVE THERE IS SO SHALLOW.
AND YOU'VE GOT THESE SWELLS
THAT COME FROM THOUSANDS OF
MILES.
AND IT HITS THE SHELF.
AND IT JUST JACKS UP, AND IT
JUST PITCHES.
YOU CAN GAIN A LOT OF KNOWLEDGE
OR YOU CAN RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.
>> SOMEBODY SAID TO ME THAT
BIG-WAVE SURFING IS MORE ABOUT
LEARNING TO FALL OFF YOUR BOARD.
>> EVERYTHING IS OKAY UNTIL IT
ISN'T.
AND YOU NEED TO MASTER HOW TO
RELAX UNDER STRESSFUL
SITUATIONS.
>> WHAT WOULD A TYPICAL
STRESSFUL SITUATION BE?
>> LIKE A GRAVEL TRUCK UNLOADING
ON TOP OF YOU.
IT DOES GET VERY BLURRY.
YOU START GETTING TINGLY.
YOU'RE DEPRIVED FROM AIR.
>> A WISE MAN ONCE SAID IT'S NOT
TRAGIC TO DIE DOING WHAT YOU
LOVE.
AND I AIN'T TALKING CONFUCIUS,
MAN.
BETTER, MUCH BETTER -- I'M
QUOTING SWAYZE.
OKAY, ENOUGH OF THE ORACLE
OF CHEESE.
I'M ON THE FAMED NORTH SHORE OF
OAHU, A MAGNET FOR THOSE SEEKING
THE ENDLESS SUMMER, THE YOUNG,
THE BRAVE, THE INSANE WHO'VE
COME TO TAKE THEIR PLACE AMONG
THE RANKS OF THE LEGENDARY
WATERMEN OR GET MANGLED TO CHUM
TRYING.
>> EVERYONE IN THE WORLD COMES
TO THE NORTH SHORE.
>> NOW I MAY BE CRAZY, BUT I
AIN'T STUPID.
AND I KNOW ENOUGH NOT TO STEP
INTO THIS LIQUID SOLO.
THANKFULLY I'VE GOT DERRICK --
FAMED SURF LIFEGUARD, FILM
STUNTMAN, AND BIG-WAVE
RIDING MASTER GUIDING ME THROUGH
MY MAIDEN NORTH SHORE VOYAGE.
>> ONE OF THE THINGS WE DO IS WE
OPERATE OUT OF A COMFORT ZONE.
WE HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR THE
RIDE AFTER THE RIDE.
>> I KNOW I'M IN GOOD HANDS, BUT
I CAN'T HELP BUT BE A LITTLE
APPREHENSIVE.
YOU KNOW, A 30-FOOT WALL OF
WATER UNLOADING ON IS NOT JUST
SOMETHING YOU WALK AWAY FROM.
>> THEN I HEAR, "HELP! HELP!"
I LOOK AND THERE IS A GUY
DROWNING.
>> AND DERRICK REGALING US ALL
WITH NEAR-DEATH-EXPERIENCE
STORIES ISN'T HELPING MATTERS
ANY.
>> THE GUY COULD HAVE DIED.
>> AND SO, LIKE THE SKIPPER AND
A LATE-MODEL GILLIGAN, WE'RE
OFF.
>> WE'RE GOING TO GO OVER HERE
TO THE TAKEOFF SPOT OF
WAIMEA BAY.
THIS IS THE SPOT RIGHT HERE IN
WAIMEA BAY, WHERE I RODE MY
CLAIM TO FAME.
I RODE A 30-FOOT WAVE IN 1988.
>> UNFORTUNATELY, THAT AIN'T
HAPPENING TODAY.
IT IS KIND OF PATHETIC, REALLY,
TO SHOW UP AT THE PREMIER SURF
SPOT IN THE WHOLE FREAKIN'
WORLD, HOME TO THE LEGENEDARY
BONZAI PIPELINE IN SUNSET,
WAIMEA, ON A DAY WHEN THERE'S
ABSOLUTELY NO SURF.
>> WELCOME TO THE INSIDE BOWL,
BRO.
>> THAT'S THE LUCK.
SO, THERE AREN'T ANY GIANTS TO
RIDE.
IT WOULDN'T HAVE MATTERED.
I AIN'T GETTING ON A BOARD HERE
FOR LOVE OR MONEY OR A 12-SHARE
OF THE RATINGS.
I COULDN'T SURF IN A COI POND.
BESIDES, TEAR-ASSING AROUND
THE NORTH SHORE ON A JET-SKI
DEFINITELY DOES NOT SUCK.
[ CHIRPING ]
WHAT WAS THAT? DAMN DOLPHINS!
IT'S LATE AFTERNOON.
AND THERE IS A STORM COMING IN.
WHAT HAD BEEN A PUNCH BOWL HAS
KICKED UP INTO SOME LARGER,
CHOPPIER, AND MORE UNRULY STUFF.
>> CONDITIONS ARE RAINY, STORMY,
WINDY, AND THERE IS ONLY ONE OR
TWO GUYS ON THE BEACH.
TO GO OUT THERE AND TRY TO CATCH
A WAVE WOULD BE REALLY, REALLY
HARD.
IT'S NOT WORTH IT.
>> FOR LOCALS LIKE DERRICK, SURF
LIKE THIS IS BETTER TO WATCH
FROM A DISTANCE, PREFERABLY WITH
SOME GOOD FOOD AND GOOD FRIENDS
CLOSEBY.
SO WE'RE DIGGING INTO SOME FRESH
POKE AND SASHIMI AND SOME
GRILLED AHI, ALSO KNOWN AS
BIG-EYE TUNA OVER AT
PETER COLE'S HOUSE.
PETER IS A TRUE LEGEND OF SURF.
AND A REVERED FIXTURE ON THE
NORTH SHORE, WHERE HE'S LIVED
AND SURFED SINCE THE '50s.
HE WON THE MAKAHA INTERNATIONAL
IN 1958, AND STILL, AT THE AGE
OF 78, HAS NO PLANS TO GIVE UP
ON HIS LOVE OF BIG-WAVE SURFING.
HE'S AN ACTIVE ENVIRONMENTALIST,
AVID SWIMMER, AND SOUL SURFER, A
TRUE WATERMAN.
>> WHAT'S IT LIKE, LOOKING AT
THIS EVERY DAY?
DO YOU FEEL AN OVERWHELMING
COMPULSION TO GO AND SURF WHEN
YOU SEE A NICE SET OUT THERE?
>> WELL, YEAH, YOU DO.
THAT'S WHEN I REALLY GET ANTSY
AND WHEN I REALLY WANT TO BE OUT
THERE.
>> SO, IS IT TOO LATE FOR ME?
I MEAN, I'M SENSITIVE TO THE
RIDICULE FACTOR OF HAVING NEVER
SURFED BEFORE.
>> OH, NO, NO, YOU GOT TO GET
OVER THAT.
YOU CAN'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE
THINK.
I MEAN, I WOULDN'T BE OUT THERE
IF I CARED ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE
THINK.
WHEN YOU'RE BEGINNING TO SURF,
YOU'RE WHAT WE CALL A KOOK.
YOU'RE KIND OF FLOUNDERING
AROUND AND EVERYTHING ELSE.
THEN AS YOU GET OLDER, YOU START
REACHING THAT POINT WHERE YOU'RE
A KOOK AGAIN.
LIKE RIGHT NOW WHEN I'M OUT
THERE, I FEEL LIKE A KOOK.
>> YEAH, BUT YOUR REPUTATION
PRECEDES YOU.
>> "WHEN IS THIS OLD GUY GONNA
QUIT SURFING?"
IF I STARTED THINKING ABOUT
THAT, I WOULDN'T BE OUT THERE.
IT'S A LOT OF FUN.
IT GETS INTO YOUR SYSTEM AND
BLOOD.
>> WHAT IS A SOUL SURFER?
>> I'M THE YOUNG GUY HERE.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO ANSWER
THAT, PETER.
WHAT IS A SOUL SURFER?
>> A SOUL SURFER, I DON'T KNOW,
MAYBE A PERSON SURFING FOR THE
SURF ITSELF AND NOT FOR THE
CROWD AND NOT FOR THE MEDIA, NOT
FOR THE HYPE, TO KNOW THE OCEAN,
TO BE ABLE TO SWIM, TO DIVE.
THAT ELEMENT IS A FACTOR THAT I
THINK IS IMPORTANT.
I JUST LOVE SUNSET BEACH.
I'VE ALWAYS LOVED THE PLACE.
I JUST WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITHOUT IT.
I'VE SURFED A LOT OF PLACES.
AND I JUST -- I ALWAYS WANT TO
COME BACK TO SUNSET.
>> THIS IS JUST A DREAM.
IT IS THE STUFF OF LEGEND.
>> HERE IS ONE OF THE FREEST
AGENTS IN THE WORLD -- AN
AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE.
THIS HOUSEWIFE CHOSE A CAN OF
SPAM.
>> TO ME, IT'S THE
QUINTESSENTIAL MYSTERY MEAT,
A MASH OF PROCESSED PIG PARTS
ONLY TO BE EATEN IN THE EVENT
OF NUCLEAR FALLOUT.
>> COLD OR HOT, SPAM HITS THE
SPOT.
>> BUT FOR A CERTAIN CLUSTER OF
ISLANDS, IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER.
>> HEY, WELCOME TO HAWAII.
>> HAWAIIANS BUY OVER FOUR
MILLION CANS OF SPAM A YEAR.
IN SHORT, HAWAIIANS ARE
HEAD-OVER-HEELS IN LOVE WITH
THAT SALTY CUBE OF MYSTERY=MEAT
MISCELLANY.
WHY?
I'M GOING TO THE NEW
UPTOWN FOUNTAIN TO FIND OUT.
>> HEY, DUDE.
>> MY GUIDE INTO THE WORLD OF
SPAM WILL BE LOCAL HONOLULU FOOD
COLUMNIST DAVID CHOO.
WHY DOES THIS HAVE SUCH A HOLD
ON THE LOCAL MENTALITY?
>> THEY'RE WARTIME FOOD.
YOU KNOW, IT WAS WORLD WAR II.
AND, YOU KNOW, AS YOU MAY
KNOW, HAWAII, FOR MOST OF THE
WAR, WAS IN A WAR ZONE.
WE ATE WHAT THE SOLDIERS AND
SAILORS ATE.
>> WHAT STARTED OUT AS A RATION
REMAINED ON THE PLATES AND IN
THE HEARTS OF HAWAIIANS EVER
SINCE.
BUT, DUDE, IT'S 2007.
>> THE MEAT IS THE CENTERPIECE.
IT'S JUST THE INGREDIENT.
IT TASTES GREAT WITH RICE.
>> I NEED TO EMBRACE THE BEAST,
TO GO OVER TO THE DARK SIDE.
LET'S ORDER.
DAVID ARRANGES A SMALL SAMPLING
OF NEW UPTOWN'S MOST
SPAM-ALICIOUS DELICACIES.
FIRST UP, SPAM MUSUBI.
SPAM SUSHI?!
THAT'S REALLY [BLEEP] UP.
SO, IT'S BASICALLY LIKE A ROLL,
BUT IN THIS CASE, WITH FRIED
RICE AND A BIG SLAB OF SPAM IN
THE MIDDLE.
>> YEAH.
>> THAT'S GREAT.
>> NOW, IMAGINE YOU'RE COMING
OUT OF THE WATER AT THE BEACH.
YOU'RE HUNGRY.
I'M THINKING *** AT 2:00 IN
THE MORNING WATCHING TV...
I WANT THIS REALLY BADLY.
I GOT TO TELL YOU, I LOVE THAT
IT'S FRIED RICE IN THERE.
IT'S TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING.
>> OH, YEAH.
>> SPEAKING OF WHICH, I DON'T
KNOW WHAT DARK PLACE THIS CAME
FROM.
IT LOOKS LIKE A SPAM FRITATA
WITH KIMCHI ON TOP, FLOATING IN
CURRY SAUCE.
I'M GETTING SHOOTING PAINS IN MY
LEFT ARM JUST LOOKING AT THIS
THING.
YOUR EMERGENCY ROOMS HERE MUST
BE DOING JUST [BLEEP] BUSINESS.
EVERYBODY'S HOLDING THEIR CHESTS
WITH THIS STILL ON THEIR LIPS.
I'M GOING TO STROKE OUT AT THE
END OF THIS MEAL.
MUST NOT KEEL OVER YET.
I'M STILL PICKING SPAM OUT OF MY
TEETH WHEN THE NEXT DISH
ARRIVES.
WHOA.
AND THE NEXT DISH...
>> CHICKEN TOFU.
>> AH, CHICKEN TOFU.
...AND THE NEXT DISH...
>> HOMEMADE CHILI.
>> HOMEMADE CHILI.
YOU REALLY HAVE TO.
...AND THE NEXT DISH, SPAM
SAIMIN.
BOILED IN THIS CASE, RIGHT?
NOTHING IRONIC OR FUNNY ABOUT
THIS.
IT'S JUST DAMN GOOD.
I'M ASHAMED, SO ASHAMED IN A
GOOD WAY.
THIS THING IS [BLEEP] DELICIOUS.
I REALLY LIKE THAT.
THIS, JUST DON'T TELL ANYONE
I TOTALLY ENJOYED THAT.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M EATING.
AND IF I EVEN MAKE A MOVE
TOWARDS THE CHILI, STICK A FORK
IN ME, 'CAUSE I'M DONE.
IN ALL OF ITS HIGH-SODIUM,
GRAVY-DRENCHED GLORY, SPAM HAS,
IN EVERY SENSE, FOUND ITS WAY
INTO MY HEART.
I GET IT NOW.
I FEEL INDUCTED INTO THE CHURCH
OF TRUE KNOWLEDGE.
BY THE WAY, DO YOU KNOW THE
HEIMLICH MANEUVER?
I'M JUST ASKING.
THE INSPIRING STORY OF DON THE
BEACHCOMBER.
>> DON THE BEACHCOMBER.
>> IT'S TIKI DRINKS 101 WHEN
WE COME BACK.
[ GUNSHOT ]
>> IN THE YEARS FOLLOWING THE
WAR, A STRANGE AND WONDERFUL NEW
CRAZE SWEPT THE NATION AS
RETURNING G.I.'s BROUGHT WITH
THEM TALES OF EXCITING AND
COLORFUL NEW FOODS, PLACES
HALF-REMEMBERED, SEMIUNDERSTOOD
VISIONS OF TROPICAL PARADISE AND
ANCIENT CUSTOMS.
HENCE, THE TIKI CRAZE THAT SWEPT
THE NATION.
SOON EVERY CITY IN AMERICA HAD A
NIGHTCLUB, A RESTAURANT WITH A
SUPPOSED HAWAIIAN OR POLYNESIAN
THEME.
AND FROM ONE OF THE PIONEERS OF
THIS INDUSTRY, A MAN NAMED DON
THE BEACHCOMBER CAME THE BIZARRE
AND POTENT CONCOCTIONS OF TIKI
DRINKS.
LLYOD KANDELL KNOWS THE WORLD,
THE SUBCULTURE OF TIKI.
EMCEE OF THE TIKI SUPER GROUP,
DON TIKI, HE KNOWS HIS TIKI
DRINKS, AND HE KNOWS ONE OF THE
FEW REMAINING, OLD-SCHOOL,
ORIGINAL, NONIRONIC TIKI BARS
LEFT IN HAWAII, THE MARIANA,
HIDDEN IN AN INDUSTRIAL AREA
NEXT TO THE AIRPORT.
>> OOH, LORD.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO BE
EXCITED OR AFRAID.
THE FAKE WATERFALL STILL
GUSHES, AND THE DRINKS, ZOMBIES,
MAI TAIS, AND TROPICAL ITCHES
STILL FLOW.
SURE, THE COCKTAILS COULD BE A
LITTLE AWKWARD TO DRINK, BUT
THAT IS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY FOR
AUTHENTICITY.
[ PLANE FLIES OVER ]
>> WHA--
THAT'S COOL.
>> IT IS COOL.
>> I'M TOTALLY LOVING THIS.
>> THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT,
RIGHT?
IN THAT FANTASY OF YOUR MIND
WHEN YOU THINK OF POLYNESIA OR
HAWAII.
IT'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL IN HERE.
OH, BOY. ZOMBIE TIME.
>> AH, YES, NOTHING MAKES
PARADISE EVEN BETTER THAN A
WHOLE LOT OF RUM.
THANK YOU. I LIKE THIS.
>> THERE'S LIKE FIVE KINDS OF
RUM IN THERE.
>> FIVE KINDS OF RUM.
>> MY UNDERSTANDING IS THE GUY
WHO INVENTED THE ZOMBIE, THEY
REFUSE TO SERVE YOU MORE THAN
TWO.
>> OH, REALLY?
>> THAT'S IT.
>> NOW, FOR THOSE OF YOU PLAYING
THE HOME GAME, MAKING A GOOD
TIKI DRINK IS DECEPTIVELY
SIMPLE.
TAKE, FOR EXAMPLE, THE CLASSIC
MAI TAI -- THREE DIFFERENT RUMS,
SOME FRESH LIME JUICE, AND A
DASH OF SYRUP.
EASY, RIGHT?
BUT WATCH YOUR STEP.
THAT'S DANGEROUS.
NOTHING MAKES A DRINK TASTE
BETTER THAN DRINKING IT OUT OF A
HEAD.
THIS COULD LEAD TO UGLINESS.
BUT, YOU KNOW, MUSIC COULD HELP.
>> I THINK SO.
>> HIT IT, BOYS.
[ PIANO PLAYS ]
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S THE
ZOMBIE, THE DECOR, OR THE
MUSICAL STYLINGS OF LLOYD'S
DON TIKI BRETHREN, BUT RIGHT
NOW, I'M THINKING IF THERE WAS
EVER A TIME I DISMISSED ALL THIS
AS NOSTALGIC KITSCH, I HUMBLY
BEG FORGIVENESS OF THE MIGHTY
TIKI GODS BECAUSE IT REALLY
DOESN'T GET MUCH BETTER THAN
THIS.
NOW, WHERE'S MY BONGO DRUMS?
THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE WITH
FILIPINO BACKGROUND IN HAWAII.
SOME OF THEM, STRANGELY ENOUGH,
SEEM INCLINED TO BE NICE TO ME.
SO, WHERE ARE WE?
TELL ME ABOUT THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.
>> WE'RE IN KALIHI RIGHT NOW.
KALIHI'S AN INTERESTING PLACE.
IT IS ONE OF THE OLDER CITIES.
SO IF YOU LOOK AROUND, THERE'S A
LOT OF FILIPINO INFLUENCE.
>> I'M IN KALIHI, A
WORKING-CLASS SECTION OF
HONOLULU, HANGING WITH MY
FRIENDS LANAI AND KALEO, DEEJAYS
AND HOSTS OF A DRIVE-TIME RADIO
SHOW ON A LOCAL HONOLULU
STATION.
WHAT DOES HAWAIIAN FOOD MEAN
NOW?
>> WE CALL IT MORE LIKE LOCAL
FOOD BECAUSE THE LOCALS HERE
WERE ALL MIXED UP.
AND WE HAVE NO COLOR LINES.
WE JUST TOOK THE BEST THINGS
FROM THE DIFFERENT CULTURES AND
PUT IT TOGETHER TO MAKE OUR
LOCAL FOOD.
>> HE PROMISED ME DOWN-HOME
BARBECUE, HAWAII-STYLE, A LUAU
IN THE PUREST, EVERYDAY,
BACKYARD-OR-DRIVEWAY SENSE OF
THE WORD...
>> [ SINGING IN HAWAIIAN ]
>> ...AND TRADITIONAL MUSIC AND
DANCE AND A GREATEST HITS, IF
YOU WILL, OF SOME OF THE BEST
FOOD THESE ISLANDS HAVE TO
OFFER.
[ INDISTINCT ]
>> WE'RE GONNA DO ONE
CHINESE-STYLE.
CHINESE SAUSAGE.
>> THIS RED SNAPPER IS LOCALLY
CAUGHT AND STUFFED WITH CHINESE
SAUSAGE AND SLATHERED WITH
OYSTER-SAUCE MAYONNAISE.
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO GUESS AT
THE GENEALOGY OF THIS DISH.
I ONLY KNOW IT'S GOOD.
>> YOU'RE MAKING ME HUNGRY.
YOU'RE MAKING ME HUNGRY, GUYS.
>> AND, OF COURSE, WHAT KIND OF
HAWAIIAN FEAST WOULD IT BE
WITHOUT POI?
>> NOT ALL THE FAMILY EAT
TOGETHER ANYMORE.
YOU PUT IT IN ONE BOWL IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE TABLE, AND ALL THE
FAMILY RUSH FOR THE POI.
SINCE WE'RE FAMILY ALREADY, WE
CAN JUST IN THE POI WITH OUR
FINGERS.
>> SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.
CHEERS, GUYS.
>> EVERYTHING IS SALTY.
>> ONE OF THE MANY THINGS THAT
SURPRISE ME IS THAT THE
STUFF THAT I'VE HAD HERE HAS
BEEN REALLY INTENSELY FLAVORED
AND REALLY SALTY AND, YOU KNOW,
IN A REALLY GOOD WAY.
>> THIS IS CALLED BEEF LUAU.
>> STEWED, FATTY BEEF, SIMMERED
WITH TAROT LEAVES AND, OF
COURSE, A PINCH OF SALT.
>> THIS IS THE HANGOVER MEDICINE
FOR THE NEXT DAY, KEEP YOU GOING
FOR A LONG TIME.
>> OH, THAT'S GREAT.
OH, YEAH, GOOD STUFF.
AND IT'S JUST THE BEGINNING OF A
MAGNIFICENT LINEUP OF WHAT HAD
BECOME, OVER TIME, HAWAIIAN
STANDARDS, LIKE FRESH AHI POKE,
SQUID SEVICHE, AND THIS TAROT
STEAMED CONCOCTION.
>> CORNED BEEF, ONION, COCONUT
MILK.
LOTS OF FLAVOR IN THERE.
>> THAT'S GREATEST THING EVER.
BUT NOT TO BE OUTDONE BY OUR
MAGNIFICENT STUFFED RED SNAPPER.
>> OH, YEAH.
MAKE SOME NOISE, EVERYBODY!
THAT LOOKS GOOD THERE, MAN.
>> BEAUTIFUL.
>> EVERYBODY, OKOLE MALUNA.
>> OKOLE MALUNA.
JUST LIKE MY BARBECUES -- LOCAL
FOOD, INDIGENOUS DANCE, LOTS OF
COLD BEER.
OKAY, THE BEER PART IS JUST LIKE
MINE.
OKAY, I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE
DRIVEWAY OR A YARD.
THE BEER. I HAVE BEER.
>> [ SINGING IN HAWAIIAN ]
>> YEAH!
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> MOLTEN LAVA, DESTROYED
VILLAGES, AND THIS GUY'S LAVA
FIELD B & B.
>> SLOW DEATH.
>> IT'S A POST-APOCALYPTIC GOOD
TIME WHEN WE COME BACK.
>> ON THE EASTERN EDGE OF THE
BIG ISLAND OF HAWAII, AN
EVER-CHANGING ALIEN WORLD...
THE KILAUEA RIFT ZONE, A
34-MILE-LONG SWATH OF VOLCANIC
ROCK AND MOLTEN LAVA FLOWS,
ALL THE RESULT OF THIS VOLCANO,
THE MOST ACTIVE ONE IN THE
WORLD, KILAUEA.
IT'S AN APOCALYPTIC LANDSCAPE
THAT, ACCORDING TO LEGEND, IS
THE FINAL HOME OF THE VOLCANO
GODDESS, PELE.
FOR 25 YEARS, KILUAEA HAS BEEN
IN A CONSTANT STATE OF ERUPTION,
DESTROYING OVER 45 SQUARE MILES
OF LAND, TOWNS, HOMES, AND
ANYTHING THAT RESEMBLED
CIVILIZATION WAS DESTROYED.
THE ENSUING LAVA, AN EXODUS OF
RESIDENCE LEFT ONLY RANDOM,
VAGUE REMNANTS OF EVERYDAY LIFE
IN ITS WAKE...
ROADS THAT GO NOWHERE...
A STOP SIGN THAT SITS
UNHEEDED...
BUT RUMOR HAS IT THAT THERE IS
STILL ONE LONE HOLDOUT,
DETERMINED TO SCRAPE OUT AN
EXISTENCE, HELL-BENT ON BEING
THE LAST ONE STANDING.
BUT HOW? AND WHY?
JOINING ME ON MY JOURNEY ACROSS
THIS SCORCHED LANDSCAPE IS
ISLAND RESIDENT BEST-SELLING
AUTHOR AND INTERNATIONAL WOMAN
OF MYSTERY, R.J. HILLHOUSE.
SO, THIS WAS ONCE A THRIVING
NEIGHBORHOOD?
>> YEAH. THIS IS ROYAL GARDENS.
A LOT OF PEOPLE HAD THEIR HOPES
AND DREAMS OF MOVING TO HAWAII
AND HAVING A BEAUTIFUL HOME
HERE.
AND THEN THE LAVA CAME.
THE LAVA CAME IN ON BOTH SIDES.
AND LEFT THESE LITTLE ISLANDS,
OR KIPUKAS.
AND MOST OF THE HOMES WERE
ABANDONED.
AND A COUPLE GUYS STAYED.
ONE OF THEM HAS BEEN HERE
CONTINUOUSLY.
AND HE RUNS A BED & BREAKFAST
OUT HERE ON AN ISLAND ON THE
ISLAND.
>> THAT'S HARD-CORE.
>> THAT'S VERY HARD-CORE.
>> EITHER THUMBING HIS NOSE AT
MADAM PELE HERSELF OR DEEPLY
RESPECTFUL OF THE AWESOME
FORCES THAT SURROUND HIM,
JACK THOMPSON HAS MADE HIS HOME
IN THE MIDST OF THIS DANGEROUS
MOONSCAPE WASTELAND FOR OVER 25
YEARS.
MUST BE JACK, I'M GUESSING?
>> YEAH, THIS IS JACK.
>> JACK, HOW YOU DOING? TONY.
>> ALOHA.
>> SWEET, WELL, YOU HAVE A VIEW,
I GOT TO SAY.
>> DYNAMITE, ISN'T IT?
>> HOW OFTEN DO YOU RUN INTO
TOWN?
AND HOW DO YOU RUN INTO TOWN?
>> I TRY TO STAY OUT OF TOWN.
MOTORCYCLE ACROSS THE BIG BLACK
DESERT.
>> A RELATIVELY SHORT THREE-MILE
JOURNEY THAT TAKES ALMOST AN
HOUR DUE TO THE
LESS-THAN-PERFECT DRIVING
CONDITIONS AND OBVIOUS HAZARDS
THAT ONE HAS TO NEGOTIATE.
NO STARBUCKS HERE?
>> NO.
>> I WAS HOPING FOR A
MOCHACHINO.
>> FRESH OUT.
SO, I'LL MEET YOU AT THE HOUSE?
IT'S AT THE END OF THE ROAD.
>> WE'LL CHASE AFTER YOU.
AS YOU MAY HAVE GUESSED, THERE
ISN'T A SHELL STATION IN THE
NEIGHBORHOOD.
SO THE MOTOR BIKE IS THE ONLY
TRANSPORTATION OPTION, WHICH
MEANS ME AND R.J. ARE STAYING ON
FOOT THE REST OF THE WAY.
>> SO YOU READY TO MOVE TO
HAWAII?
LIVE THE ISOLATED LIFE?
>> MEETING PEOPLE MUST BE A
PROBLEM.
>> YEAH. YOU WOULD THINK.
>> YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE ONE OF
THOSEE SCIENCE-FICTION,
END-OF-THE-WORLD FILMS.
>> YEAH. VERY, VERY SIMILAR.
THERE'S A 100% PROBABILITY THAT
LAVA FLOW WILL COME DOWN HERE
AND WILL COVER THIS.
>> SO THE OBVIOUS QUESTION IS,
IS HE CRAZY?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, WE'RE GOING
TO FIND OUT.
HERE WE ARE. JACK'S PLACE.
>> I CAN SEE WHY YOU WERE
RELUCTANT TO LEAVE.
>> WELCOME TO LAVA HOUSE.
>> THANKS, MAN.
>> COME ON UP.
>> IS HE NUTS? I DON'T KNOW.
I'M FEELING LIKE I ADMIRE THE
GUY FOR SOMETHING.
SO, VOLCANO, THE LAVA STARTED
HOW MANY YEARS AGO?
>> ABOUT 23 YEARS AGO.
JUST PUTTING IN THE LAST WINDOW
WHEN IT STARTED.
TRAPPED IN PARADISE.
>> YOU'D COME FROM CALIFORNIA?
I MEAN, THE DREAM, YOU KNOW?
>> YEAH, EVER SINCE I WAS A
LITTLE KID, IT WAS MY DREAM TO
LIVE ON A BLACK-SANDS BEACH, BUT
IT'S HISTORY NOW.
>> HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU
ARRIVED HERE?
>> I WAS ABOUT 22 YEARS OLD.
>> 22. THAT IS YOUNG.
>> YEAH.
>> I MEAN, WHAT I'M SAYING IS
I GUESS BY THE TIME THAT YOU
ARRIVED HERE AND YOU BOUGHT IN,
YOU WERE STILL 22.
YOU KNOW, MOST PEOPLE WOULD
HAVE SAID, "OKAY, I'VE LOST
EVERYTHING.
MY DREAM IS NOT WORKING OUT.
I'LL WALK AWAY FROM THIS DREAM
AND START ANOTHER ONE."
YOU HUNG WITH IT.
>> ACTUALLY, IT WORKED OUT A LOT
BETTER.
>> YOU'RE HAPPY?
>> YEAH, THERE'S NO SCREAMING
KIDS OR BARKING DOGS OR CROWING
ROOSTERS OR COKIE FROGS.
>> HOW MANY PEOPLE COMING
THROUGH SO FAR?
>> IT'S NOT REAL BUSY.
BUT I GET ENOUGH.
>> IT IS BEAUTIFUL.
IT REALLY IS.
>> YEAH, IT'S HARD TO GET TIRED
OF.
>> DID I SEE PEOPLE BUILDING
DOWN THERE?
>> YEAH, THAT JUST STARTED LAST
COUPLE OF YEARS.
>> WHAT HAPPENS IF PEOPLE START,
YOU KNOW, REPOPULATING THE
NEIGHBORHOOD?
WOULD THAT TOTALLY FREAK YOU
OUT?
>> THAT'D RUIN IT. IT WOULD.
>> BEING SURROUNDED BY ALL THAT
NOTHINGNESS, IT'S A LOT TO TAKE
IN.
WE SIT DOWN WITH SIMPLE-PLATE
LUNCH -- MACARONI SALAD, RICE,
AND BAKED CHICKEN -- STANDARD
PICNIC FARE OF THE ISLANDS.
WHAT SUCKED ABOUT CALIFORNIA FOR
YOU?
>> YOU NAME IT, IT'S EITHER 120
OR 20.
SMOGGY. TRAFFIC.
>> TRAFFIC. I'M WITH YOU THERE.
>> IS THERE HOPE FOR US OUT
THERE IN THE MAINLAND?
>> NO.
>> NO? WE'RE ALL DOOMED.
>> WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN?
>> IT'S ALREADY HAPPENING.
IT'S A SLOW DEATH.
>> YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT.
YOU WERE LOOKING TO GO OFF THE
GRID ANYWAY.
>> YEAH. RIGHT.
>> BUT THIS IS PRETTY FAR OFF
THE GRID.
>> I STILL HAVE EVERYTHING.
>> IT'S TERRIBLE AND BEAUTIFUL.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH, IT'S LIKE A MOTH TO A
FLAME -- YOU CAN'T HELP IT.
>> LET'S ASSUME 10 YEARS DOWN
THE LINE, IT'S CLEAR, IT'S
COMING NOW.
AND YOU'VE GOT WEEKS.
DO YOU STAY UNTIL THE LAST
MINUTE ANYWAY?
>> YEAH.
I'VE ALREADY WRITTEN EVERYTHING
OFF.
IF IT GOES, IT GOES.
>> SO, YOU BELIEVE IN DESTINY?
ARE YOU FATALISTIC ABOUT THIS?
>> KIND OF.
I'VE SEEN MADAM PELE DO SOME
UNBELIEVABLE THINGS.
I CAN SEE WHY THE HAWAIIAN
PEOPLE THINK THAT SHE'S REAL.
IF IT DOES HAPPEN, I DON'T WANT
TO BE IN A HOTEL IN HILO.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> WHAT'S A GOOD DAY FOR YOU?
WHAT'S A REALLY GOOD DAY?
>> THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.
WHEN I GET COMPANY LIKE THIS.
>> AW, THAT'S NICE. CHEERS, MAN.
>> YEAH.
CAN IT GET BETTER THAN THIS?
>> DOES IT GET ANY BETTER?
A LOADED QUESTION IF THERE EVER
WAS ONE.
I GUESS IT DEPENDS ON WHAT
"BETTER" MEANS FOR YOU.
AS IT TURNS OUT, WEEKS AFTER WE
VISITED JACK, HE WAS FORCIBLY
EVACUATED FROM HIS HOME.
PELE FINALLY SETTLED THE MATTER
FOR GOOD.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU COMBINE
THE GOOD WILL OF THE ISLANDS AND
WAY TOO MANY MAI TAIS?
>> ALOHA!
>> ALOHA!
>> YOU'LL HAVE TO SEE IT TO
BELIEVE IT.
>> BY MY LAST DAY ON THE ISLAND
AND MY LAST NIGHT OF SHOOTING, I
WAS IN A MORE FORGIVING MOOD
THAN IS USUAL FOR ME.
[ WOMAN SINGING IN HAWAIIAN ]
WE HAD ASKED FOR A TYPICAL
TOURIST LUAU, YOU KNOW, THE
WORST-CASE SCENARIO, THE
KIND OF THING I HATE -- TOUR
BUSES FULL OF TOURISTS IN THE
SAME SHIRTS, MASS-PRODUCED FUN
FOR MIDDLE-AMERICA ON HOLIDAY.
>> ALOHA!
>> HELLO. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
FOOD FROM A PRODUCTION LINE.
ALL YOU CAN EAT.
I WAS GOING TO HAVE A FIELD DAY
WITH THIS SCENE, PUT ON MY
SNARKOLOGIST HELMET, AND RIP
INTO THIS BOGUS,
"FOR TOURISTS ONLY" SPECTACLE
LIKE A JUNKYARD DOG...
HOOP-HULA LESSONS...
CHEESY EMCEES...
FIRE JUGGLING...
HUGGING IT OUT WITH TOTAL
STRANGERS.
BY NOW I WAS GOING TO BE
CHEERFULLY TEARING THESE GUYS A
NEW ORIFICE, RIGHT?
BUT FUNNY THING...
SOMETHING HAPPENED TO ME DURING
MY TIME HERE.
I LOOK AT THESE PEOPLE ON STAGE
AND FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, I'M NOT
INSTINCTIVELY ANGRY.
LOOK AT THEM UP THERE...
HARD-WORKING PEOPLE, RETIRED
PEOPLE, PROBABLY WORKED THEIR
WHOLE LIVES TO COME DOWN HERE
AND DO THIS.
>> FASTER, FASTER!
>> IF INDEED WE ALL LIVE LIVES
OF QUIET DESPERATION, IS IT SO
AWFUL THAT ON THIS ONE TRIP,
THESE SOLID CITIZENS GET ALL
KOOKY AND CRAZY AND MAKE PUBLIC
FOOLS OF THEMSELVES WITHOUT CARE
OR INHIBITION?
THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL PART OF THE
WORLD, AFTER ALL.
WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO COME HERE?
I MEAN, THEY'RE HAVING FUN.
THEY'RE HAVING THE TIME OF THEIR
LIVES.
>> ALOHA!
>> DAMN, WHAT IS HAPPENING TO
ME?
I'M GETTING SOFT.
FIVE MORE OF THESE.
FORTUNATELY, AS I SAT THERE
KNOCKING BACK TROPICAL ITCHES
AND MAI TAIS JUST BEFORE I STOOD
UP AND VOLUNTEERED TO LEAD THE
CROWD IN A CHORUS OF TINY
BUBBLES...
TODD, NOBLE TODD, MY VETERAN
CAMERAMAN, CAME TO MY RESCUE.
UNAWARE THAT HE'D JUST BEEN
DOUSED WITH A SPILLED ZOMBIE,
TODD JUST WASN'T PAYING
ATTENTION.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT SNAPPED ME
RIGHT OUT OF MY
"WE ARE THE WORLD" REVERIE.
IN THE END, PEOPLE WERE JUST TOO
NICE TO ME HERE.
THE PLACE, TOO BEAUTIFUL.
>> AAH! AAH!
>> I SAY OFTEN THAT TRAVEL
CHANGES YOU.
AND MAYBE HAWAII CHANGED ME.
I AIN'T GOING TO BE STRAPPING ON
A COCONUT BRASSIERE AND A GRASS
SKIRT ANY TIME SOON.
BUT I MIGHT NOT BE SO QUICK TO
SNEER AT THOSE WHO DO.
BUT THEN AGAIN --
OH, LOOK! DESSERT!
-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY THE TRAVEL CHANNEL, L.L.C.