How to Deal with a Relationship Ultimatum And Manipulation

hello and welcome to a new edition of the mediator and blue jeans I'm your host shot Shawna Leady and in today's episode we're going to talk about the ultimatum how do you deal with the relationship ultimatum and what are the signs you are being manipulated well I think we've also the been at that crossroads where someone says that you don't stop doing this that and the other thing I'm out here if you don't do it I'm gone well on the one side or the more constructive side if they're talking about getting rid of things that are not healthy for you and you know it things like drug or alcohol abuse workaholism or unhealthy habits you could consider that a wake-up call for your own life however if someone is telling you that you can't see someone are hanging out with someone or do something that you enjoy like a sport on a reasonable basis or you have to change your personality or personal characteristics and orders for them to be in a relationship with you considered that of form have manipulation but just declarify by let's go through some in the five beings but you can look out for just to make sure to see if you are in fact being manipulated by the other person in love relationships one form of manipulation is considered the roller coaster affect meaning they'll love you so much at one moment and then they'll just completely withdrawal and if they're happy you're happy there said you're depressed and then you begin to think that it's all your fault for not making them happy or doing enough to make them happy another thing is you begin to feel the high from loving them but then slowly the emotion starts to turn into anxiety over threat of losing them the threat they would leave and the threat you would leave like a hot ticket the third type is you could never seem to make I'm happy they are extremely critical over the little things and name it take little bit by a little bit and they really give you prasie is or credit for the things that you do meaning they very rarely show you any level a true genuine appreciation number four is if you begin a relationship feeling pretty good about yourself you know you knew what you had going for you in your new things that you needed to work on but you know overall you that you're pretty good person but then throughout the relationship you started to really look in whenever you looked in the mirror you begin to see every single one your flaws because the person that you love is not afraid two point those things out to you so then all you begin to see and feel is everything then is wrong with you and number five you begin to blame yourself for everything that is wrong in the relationship and assume that the other person is without fault or has very little fault involved with what's wrong in your relationship unfortunately manipulation can occur over time and that's why it's important to be emotionally self-aware and gain perspective about your relationship you can game perspective by talking to close friends or an objective third party to see if what you're experiencing is healthy but overall when it comes down to it you have to trust your gut and recognize how could you improve things within yourself but also realize that there's a limit to the amount of blame or guilt you should take on in any relationship if you're starting to feel overwhelmed that they may leave you or that nothing you do will ever seem to make them happy realize the cold hard truth that they will never be satisfied in this case it's much better just not to give in to the form and manipulation because it will not stop once you allow it you begin to set the precedent that the ultimatums of affected and their effective in getting what they want at your expense and I realize when you love someone you think the relationship is meant to last forever and you meant to be but there are the here's the thing about it manipulation is not a loving act it is not a way is seeing someone it instead it's a way of seeing someone as a means to an end rather than as supporting supportive or giving or loving each other so who you are faults in all in the any its instead better to be alone on your own and be open to receiving the kind of love that is the important giving and loving instead of feeling like you have to stay me in a manipulative situation all in the name of love well that's all for today's episode if you have a question you'd like me to answer please email me at mediator in jeans and gmail dot com and don't forget to subscribe I don't want you to miss an episode and until next time be fair with each other bye for now