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Let me ask you this.
Is this really where we belong?
It's true.
We put on a good show.
And we have a hell
of a time, too.
But is this really
what we deserve?
To crawl at the feet
of our masters?
We are so much more
than slaves.
We're brothers and sisters.
We share the same struggle.
And the truth is
They are weak.
And we're strong.
Showtime.
She's real.
She's real.
It's her.
Who?
You can see her, too?
What?
That's the girl
that led me here.
This is for Earl.
He dies, you die.
Sweet Jesus!
That *** ain't right.
Do something, you idiot.
Aah!
Bravo, bravo, bravo.
What the hell kind
of floor show is this?
Richard,
get your balls on!
Get under the table!
Dad, they're everywhere!
Professor Tanner?
Step aside, sheriff.
The name's sex machine.
What the hell
are you doing here?
I got you to thank,
really.
Your investigation led me
to this place.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go!
Dad! Go!
Go! Go!
Go, go, go!
What do we do?
What do we do?
Get down!
Get down!
Dad, the shotgun.
Daddy, no!
Is that supposed to work?
Why isn't it working?
Our Lord who art in heaven,
hallowed be your Name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done, as earth
Ain't no use
in praying now.
Give ourselves
our daily bread
But deliver us from evil.
Richie, talk to me.
I got a feeling you know
what these things are.
No.
I've seen them in a vision,
but I have no clue
what these things are.
Puta, you miss me, mijo?
***!
You know,
if I didn't know any better,
I'd say these things
are vampires.
Richie!
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely vampires.
Go for the heart.
Bravo, Carlitos.
You think
you can fight me.
Your fight's over.
No, no!
Thank you!
Good night!
I thought
you were ugly before.
Don't worry, chulo.
Once I'm done with you,
you're gonna look
just as pretty as me.
That's your best face yet.
It's all right, Richard.
It's me.
I've been waiting
for you.
Stop!
Why did you do that?
Because
she's a *** monster!
Now you answer me this.
Why has she been
waiting for you?
Answer the question.
Get that gun out of my face.
Says the guy who put
a knife to my neck.
You know, all this time I thought I
was the one that brought us here,
that I did the deal
with Carlos.
Turns out, you've been
a part of this club
before I even knew
it existed.
Are you kidding me
right now?
After everything
I've done for you?
Sonny doesn't
betray Michael, Seth.
- That was Fredo.
- Then explain the knife.
It's a blade, it cuts.
I ditched it at a liquor store
hundreds of miles from here,
and it still found
its way back to you.
Now it turns out Carlos
is the guys who
- gave it to you in the first place?
- No, you're twisting things around.
Well, then
set me straight.
Will you two quit it?
We don't have time for you
to play Cain and Abel.
We just got attacked
by the devil's legion.
We need to find a way
out of here.
Stop! Stop!
It's no use.
Looks like they've got
tempered steel deadbolts
all the way up and down.
There's no way out.
We checked everything
backstage.
There's no windows.
There's no corridors.
Not even an access
to the kitchen.
This place is sealed up
tighter than a drum.
So we're stuck in here with
those whatever they are.
Well, why don't you ask Richie
what they are.
- He's seen them before.
- In my mind.
***.
You played me
like an 8-track.
You knew about those things?
I begged you to let us go.
I knew that something
was coming,
but I didn't know
what it was.
How could I possibly know
that everybody in this bar
was gonna turn into a
They're vampires, aren't they?
No, I don't believe
in vampires.
Well, neither do I,
Richard.
However, setting aside
the sheer absurdity
of this conversation,
they have fangs and they die
when you stab them in the heart.
So I'm gonna go out on a limb
here and say Mexican Dracula.
Except one of them
ate my cross.
Is this God's judgment, Daddy?
Don't ask me.
He's the one with the gift
of sight, apparently.
I think they might be Mayan
or Aztec or something.
- Scott.
- Wait a second.
What did you say?
Given that we're in Mexico
and all, it makes sense that
- these things might be Mayan or Aztec.
- Huh?
I mean, those guys always
have snakes in their art.
And I read about an ancient race
of bloodsucking reptiles.
They terrorize people,
hunt at the nighttime,
tear them apart
limb from limb
with fangs and scales
and wings.
Just like frog legs.
- What?
- Frog legs.
Oh, my God, Scott.
This is from your stupid
wrestling magazine, isn't it?
- Really, kid?
- Actually, the kid's not far off.
Whoa, easy there, Tex.
Put down the gun.
I should say
the same thing to you.
Who is this person?
He calls himself Sex Machine.
- Subtle.
- Excuse me?
He was at the Rattler, too.
He's tried to hit on me.
Is that right?
Now, hold on a second.
The name's Aiden Tanner,
Professor Aiden Tanner.
I'm undercover as Sex Machine.
You?
You're a Professor?
Yeah.
Department of
archaeology, Alamo State.
I was consulting
with one ranger Gonzalez
about a series
of bloody killings
along the U.
S.
/ Mexico border.
And when he left, I realized
he was on the trail of
something something epic.
So I decided to follow him,
and it brought me here.
Yeah.
Okay.
So what do you mean,
the kid's not far off?
What I mean is
These are Mexican Dracula.
Exactly.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we are standing in the domain
of the Waxaklahun Ubah Kan
or Los Culebras,
which, in Spanish, it means
- Serpent.
- Yes.
Now, I've been studying
this cult for over 10 years.
They worship the Vision Serpent.
This is their territory.
Their glyphs
are all over these walls.
I mean, I've I've seen
their writings before,
but never anything like this.
We're standing on sacred ground.
This place is a source of
immense power for these people.
People?
When they want to be.
A lot of what we hear
about vampires
comes from the Spanish
missionaries' misconceptions
about these Culebras.
They had most of it
right,
but these puppies
are more snake than bat.
Check this out.
Venom glands.
And look at this.
See the fangs?
Conical in shape.
And they fold up
against the gums, right?
'Cause they hinge
down like a snake.
- That's insane.
- Yeah.
Well, the codices say
that these guys
are descendants
from the mistress,
who was a nice young lady
that the snake God
transformed into
a bloodsucking demi-Goddess.
Just think succubus.
But then, neither she
nor these Culebras
are supposed to exist.
Yeah, well, it's been
that kind of day.
Ooh.
We better make sure
these things are dead.
I mean, really, really dead.
Makes sense.
Destroying the blood organ
kills them.
You know what to do.
Where's Richard?
You said you handled El rinche.
I did.
This wasn't supposed
to be like this.
I can fix it.
The counselors
are already downstairs.
They can wait.
So, this mistress, is that
Santanico Pandemonium?
I don't know.
Could be.
I mean, she sure put the hurt
on them bikers,
squashed them like they
were little cockroaches.
Well, Professor, unlike you,
my brother here
has had a little field research
on the subject.
So, how about it, Richie?
Why don't you tell us all about
your little dancing queen?
I can't reach him.
He's blocking me.
- The trust is broken.
- Then trust me.
No more mistakes.
Who is she?
You told me she led you here.
She wanted me
to set her free
By killing her, I think.
You killing her or her killing us?
I don't know.
I could feel her inside my head,
and she was pulling me close.
And, yeah, I think it was to this place.
What do they want?
Knowing that could help us
figure a way out of here.
Maybe us being here
pissed them off.
Doubt it.
You seen the signs outside?
This entire club is designed
to lure people in.
And keep them here.
What is this place?
Well, from the markings
on these walls,
I'd say this bar was
built on top of a temple
like the Spanish conquistadors
did with Tenochtitlan.
Okay, Indy-with-a-***-gun,
what kind of temple?
The kind where people come
and make offerings to the vision serpent.
Blood offerings?
If it's blood that they want
They're gonna want more soon.
She's right.
The glyphs are right here on the walls.
Ugh, these ancient pre-Mayan
cultures are amazing engineers!
This isn't just a bar on a temple.
This place is a giant people juicer.
People juicer?
For who?
If this is a feeding under
naturalistic conditions,
then their nutritional
autonomy might be hierarchical.
Okay.
Okay.
English, Professor, please.
What I mean is, there's a pecking order.
Gentlemen, thank you for waiting.
To the nine lords of the night
and our guests, their counselors.
Salud!
One group ravages the herd
and sends the prime cuts to the next group.
Por favor.
Hookers feed the pimps,
pimps feed the capos,
capos feed the bosses.
I get it.
What I don't get is how do we shut it down?
I don't know.
Fresh catch.
I do know who's on
the menu, though.
Seriously, dude?
You need a PHD to figure that out?
You're one rude little ***.
What did you call him?
All right.
Just relax.
Everybody take it easy, okay?
Now, look, I get that we're all
a ragtag bunch of ramblers here.
But my guess is tonight's not
gonna have a ***-Doo ending.
So whatever beefs we got, forget them,
or else we're all gonna get juiced.
Or worse off, end up like
the Cisco kid did earlier.
Yeah, where is ranger Gonzalez?
- What happen
- Forget him.
Let's just worry about the next wave.
Hope you're hungry.
We need a plan.
That's easy.
Grab as many shotguns, knives,
and wooden stakes as you can.
That way, when those
bloodsuckers come back,
even if we can't kill them,
we will make them wish
they were never unborn.
We're gonna need a better plan than that.
You got one?
It's coming to me.
I'm not sure
Carlos.
Carlitos.
Tell us a story while
we wait for the mistress.
My stories are more of a bedtime tale
compared to your epic novellas.
I don't know.
I think everyone will love this one.
I'll help you begin.
Once upon a time,
there was a sad excuse of an errand boy
who had one simple task to serve.
But instead, he led a pinche rinche
to the foot of our table.
Well, he's gone now.
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Don't interrupt.
The rinche followed the
trail of los hermanos Gecko,
two Kansas City pistoleros
you hired to rob a bank for you.
$30 million American.
Is that worth the chance of exposing us,
all of us, for your own profit?
Hmm?
I never said I wouldn't share.
Everyone here serves
the nine lords, Carlitos.
And you, Santanico, and your people,
you are the lowest of all.
Slaves of slaves.
You are my ***.
And do you know what
a *** does best, hmm?
He licks the heels of his master.
Still can't believe it.
Eh, get over it.
We live in a world with Culebras.
Plan this job, make a deal with Carlos,
I keep it together,
get us all the way across
the border for what?
To get served up on a
*** silver platter.
- Seth.
- I mean, was that the plan?
Keep the money for
yourself, let us get eaten?
Hmm?
- I didn't have a plan.
- Apparently.
You were in charge, which you
reminded me of every five seconds.
one without me, big papa,
and it got you tossed in the can.
Yeah, where I still put this together,
and I dragged you out of
your little unabomber shack.
You remember that?
Or was that part of the act, too?
Okay.
What is this act
that you keep talking about?
Greatest long con in history, I guess.
You pulled it on me.
And I consider myself
to be the Picasso of *** artists.
But you you painted
a *** Rivera mural.
You're so up your own *** right now.
Yeah, well, I was an easy target.
An easy target.
In a million years, I never
could have seen this coming.
- Yeah.
Why's that?
- Because I'm your brother, Richard.
I'm your brother.
You know, you're right.
We have a sacred bond.
Yeah, real sacred.
Not to you.
Wave $20 million in front of your face,
all that goes away, right?
Don't you mean $16 million?
Our take was $20 mil.
Did you think that I wasn't gonna find out
about the missing $4 million?
What are you talking about?
Okay.
Let's imagine
the most expensive
pineapple burger ever made.
'Cause that is what you went
to the Big Kahuna Burger to buy.
Am I correct?
Book of revelation didn't
prepare you for this.
But then I guess
you probably chalk this all up to God, huh?
Actually, I blame the Gecko brothers.
I wouldn't be so quick to judge.
There's an old story
about the hero twins
Very old story.
Ixabalanque and Hunahpu.
They descend into the underworld,
and they best the dark lords.
It's in the old book, the
sacred book, the Popol Vuh.
I can't say I've read that one.
I wouldn't imagine you had.
I got my lord and you got yours.
But I believe mine can save us.
Trick is to find the light again,
share it with those you love
before it's too late for all of us.
That will work.
- You all right?
- Yeah.
I'd be better if crazy lizard beasts
weren't trying to kill us.
I know you're scared.
- I'm not scared.
- I am, too.
I said I'm not scared.
Be glad I'm doing something.
Between your praying
and his surrendering to a higher power
- He froze.
- He froze?
He doesn't have it in him.
He doesn't have what in him, Scott?
Who'd you really give the money to, Seth?
I can't hear you, brother.
Okay, look.
Whatever you think that you know
about that $4 million
Do you think that I don't know
that the money is for Vanessa?
Do you want to talk about the
long con and the master grift?
You have to take the prize, Seth.
What were you two lovebirds gonna do?
Go buy that stupid bar in the Keys
- that she's always squawking about?
- You moron.
Do you honestly think that I would be here
if I was gonna bail on you?
Does that make sense?
It was the opposite.
I paid her to stay away.
She was supposed to cross with us.
- You remember that?
- Yeah.
But, no, she didn't.
Why?
'Cause I told her I had
to take you to El Rey.
Okay, yeah.
Here we go.
Yeah, I gave it up for you.
For you.
You understand me?
I said goodbye to my only chance
at any kind of any sane, normal existence.
And for what? Hmm?
So you could get a seat at
the table with these goons.
'Cause let's face it.
That's all they really are, right?
Just another crew,
another version of Bernardo and the Sharks.
The Sharks were Puerto Rican, you idiot.
Was it that piece of *** on stage then?
Oh.
That's it, isn't it?
So that's what she taught you
to do with your little knife.
Back-stab.
I'm getting real sick of
you calling me a traitor.
You know, my entire life,
I have felt like I've owed you something
because you pulled me out of
that fire when we were kids.
I'm getting real sick
of paying vig on that.
So what are you gonna do about it?
As soon as we're out of
here, you and me, we're done.
Still waiting.
The lap dog must learn
who he really serves, huh?
Sorry I'm late, gentlemen.
Narciso, pero.
What's wrong, mi vida?
Looks like somebody hurt your feelings.
Where have you been?
Qué importa? I'm here now.
And we are gonna have un parrandón,
one you'll remember for
the rest of your lives.
Underneath all your heavy French perfume,
some of us can still smell your fear.
You think I'm scared?
I want to know what you're up to
with los hermanos Gecko y El rinche.
Why don't you explain
how they fit into this special night?
Tranquilo, Narciso.
You'll get your answers.
Because tonight is special.
Tonight all the little surprises
are gonna keep on coming.
It's true.
We put on a good show.
And we have a hell of time, too.
But is this really what we deserve?
To crawl at the feet of our masters?
We are so much more than slaves.
We're brothers and sisters.
We share the same struggle.
And the truth is, they are weak.
And we're strong.
Have you lost your mind?
Do you really put yourself
above the nine lords?
Santanico.
I thought you'd tasted
enough of their anger by now
to know better.
But no.
Not you.
Tu eres necia.
Why can't you accept your lot?
All you and your people
have to do is feed us.
That's all this temple was built for.
The lords are weak, Narciso.
They are greedy and vain,
and no matter how much you look down on us,
we are all still Culebras in this room.
There's a difference
between being a slave in your body
and being a slave in your soul.
We have suffered too long now.
But it ends tonight.
So, you have a choice, señores.
You join us
And live free.
Or you die being slaves to the nine.
So, what is it gonna be?
Didn't think so.
Now the real show begins.
Six against two.
I like those odds.
They just got biblically worse.
Wait a second.
I know that lugnut and his biker chick.
They weren't Culebras before.
Neither was that perv, either.
Yeah, well, they are now.
Scott, listen to me.
Don't let your anger get the best of you.
There's a fine line between self-defense
- and depraved violence.
- Dad, I got this.
There are better ways
to channel your grief.
Who says I'm channeling grief?
Right.
It's time to ring the dinner bell.
Culebras, come out to play!
They're still coming!
Keep shooting!
Ugh, I shot my load.
I'm out.
Everybody down.
This better work.
It'll work.
Scott!
Ah, ***.
Scott!
Scott!
Seth.
Plan B.
Hey!
Now, that's one for the books.
Are you okay?
I don't know.
We have to find Scott.
We will, honey.
We will.
You can't leave, Richard.
Not yet.
Morning, baby.
Morning.
I had the craziest nightmare.
I dreamt that Earl got shot
And I went to Mexico to find these dudes.
There was these things.
Oh.
What kind of things?
Never mind.
It was just a dream.
Okay.
Just a dream.
Today's her big day.
Oh.
Father Quintana is gonna
splash your face with water.
He's gonna make you street legal.
Oh, by the way.
Earl called.
He said he'd see you at
the Place of Dead Roads.
What?
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry, babe.
Aah!
You belong here.
Somewhere inside, close to the bone.
You know it, too.
No, you don't know me.
That's not true.
I know you better than your brother does.
You tell me, brother.
Does she?
I'm in your soul, Richard.
But I don't blame you for being suspicious.
I asked you to trust me.
I didn't tell you what was coming.
I wanted to show you who
I was on my own terms.
The world is much more
complicated than you know.
Richie, look at me.
Don't listen to this.
Don't listen to this.
What do you think you're doing, slave?
Becoming the master.
I taught you how to see,
but that was only the beginning.
Don't listen to this.
I don't want to hurt you.
I need you.
And you need me, too.
You have to let these people go.
Richard.
Stop.
Something's coming, remember?
Then let them go.
Richard!
Richard!
Sync & Corrections by Darcade