Ep 2.4 Dread Carpet - Seeking simone

No touching! Don't make me get the fuzzy handcuffs. Come on, can't you give me a hint? No! I want it to be a surprise! - Even what colour it is? - No! Okay, are you ready? Well, as ready as I'll ever be. The dress! That you will be wearing! For the 2nd annual Geminon Awards! Will be - So? Simone? - No feathers? - No. - No feces? - No. - No pubes? - No! Sylvia, it’s…oh my God, it’s beautiful. - Oh, I'm so glad you like it! - I love it. I was afraid you might find it too boring -- No! No, it's stunning. Thank you!! Thank you for wearing it. I know you'll look fantastic in it. And afterwards, you'll look fantastic out of it... Blah blah, tonsil hockey. Okay. What time are the awards on tv? I don't know - I actually think they are going to be pre-empted for a *** She Wrote marathon but they are streaming live online. Cool! Love *** She Wrote. Oh, shut up. Angela Lansbury is foxy. Listen, I gotta go - I wanna pick Sylvia up some flowers before tonight. Ooo, good idea. Get roses! Uh, really? I don’t think she really likes roses. Actually, they're her favourite flower. It was on her profile. Really? She doesn't really seem like a roses kind of gal - I'm sending you the link. Oh. My. God. Simone? What? Her profile's gone. Gone? Yeah. She took it down. - Oh my god! - Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! What should I do? What do I do, what do I do? I don’t know, it depends. It's up to you. Do you like her enough not to look anymore? Yes! Oh my god, yes, I mean, she’s so… - she is just so amazing. - Oh my god...look how cute you are! I did it! I found you true love on the internet! Okay. You know what? No one has said "I love you" yet but...maybe we’ll see how tonight goes. Oh Simone! I'm going to cry. I can't stand it. Well, you go get those flowers! Oh, I can't wait to tell Andrea. We'll be watching tonight! Good luck! Love you!! Okay! Love you too!! Oh shitballs. - Sweetie! We’re starting! - Okay, I’m coming, coming! - Did I miss her? - Nope, she hasn't come through yet. Okay, good. We are live from the 2nd annual Geminon pre-award cocktail event. This is crazy! Hey, look, they’re interviewing people over there. I’m just going to go stand -- - No, you should come with me! - No! No, no. They don't want to talk to me. And besides, how tacky would it be if they asked who you were wearing and you said "Her!" - No. You look amazing. - Thank you. I just spotted Simone Selkin from CSIS:ForensicSWAT. Let’s get an interview with her before her fans swamp her. Come on, Simone! Get back, now, go. Wait. Is that her? - Congratulations on your show's nomination! - Oh, thank you, we are sooo excited about it. Happy to be here! - Oh my god, she looks great. - I know! - You look fabulous, may I say. - Thank you - - Tell me, who are you wearing? - Oh, I am wearing...what is...? I…I…am wearing a, uh… These are perk-ay. I don’t undertand… Nice. Just sitting right in there. - Well…I…she is a designer… - Come on. - Come on, Simone. - COME ON! - Sylvia Grihm. - Sylvia Grihm! - Sylvia Grihm! - SWEET LAVENDAR LORD!! - It’s…ah…I’m sorry, uh… - Oh, we’ve got Lindy, we’ve got Lindy. - Well, have a wonderful evening tonight, congratulations… - No, it’s – I’m sorry just hang on one second -- - Another beer? - Just ... bring the case. - God, I am so sorry. - I ... can't believe that just happened. I know, she just grabbed my ***, I mean, who does that? It was like she was trying to get sound out of it! If you didn't like the dress, you could have just said so. What? No! I love the dress. Instead of pretending like you couldn't remember my NAME. No, she grabbed my ***... I have literally never been so humiliated. No, it wasn't my fault, I swear to God - - I can't be around you right now. - Sylvia. - Have fun tonight. - Sylvia! I tried to go after her but the producers grabbed me and I couldn't get away - Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry. And you didn’t see it? At all? I mean, it was like she was trying to tune my *** to CBC! No, it was just from the head up! It totally just looked like you blanked. - Oh my god. - Did your show win at least? No! We lost to some show about a bumbling lesbian detective. BJ something? They were very excited. Anyway, I was trying to text Sylvia all night. I wasn’t paying any attention. Give her some time to chill out. I'm sure as soon as you explain that - oh. What? Ah…nothing. Audrey, what is it? Nothing, just... she put her profile back...up. So...fuckballs.