I'm Pansexual! Let's Talk about It

ok so i feel like my *** are going to fall out at some point in this video but who gives a crap they're just *** half the human population has them get over it alright okay okay okay i'm pansexual let's talk about it. A lot of people who are watching this who know me personally are probably very good confused about my sexuality because just a year ago I was adamant that I was a lesbian. I was a hardcore lesbian one might say and a couple years before that I was intensely bisexual and couple years before that I was straight so I imagine a lot of people are very confused in general about my sexuality and a lot of people still believe like sincerely believe that i'm a lesbian and I understand why. I made a facebook status about it i made several facebook statuses about it because at the time I really thought that I was. At the time I had just gotten out of a really really abusive relationship with a man and when I say abusive I mean it was verbally emotionally psychologically and physically abusive he broke my rib and also gave me a black eye so yeah it was a really really really messed up relationship there was a fair amount of *** abuse that went on there too so I just had no attraction no desire to be with a man whatsoever like none nada nyet ixnay goose egg 0 none just no attraction the thought of *** sorry to family who's watching this, the thought of *** physically made me scared and sick it made me feel sick to think of a *** near me and I'm sorry to anyone with a *** because that sounds awful i understand that. I was pretty much a *** when I met this guy so it was a really *** start to my life as a sexually active human being and before meeting this guy - *** let's call him. Before meeting *** i was like i said i identified as bisexual so I was bisexual when I was in my first year of university i identified as bisexual i was interested in both men and women I could see myself being in a monogamous relationship with a man or with a woman it just did not matter to me in high school well the later years identified as bisexual but in the earlier years of high school I was of the mindset that bisexuality wasn't real and I really hope that nobody watching still thinks that because it's such a dumb and outdated thing to believe like of course it's real but i just thought that people came out as bisexual when they weren't ready to come out as gay or lesbian yet so I in high school I kind of didn't really subscribe to that idea and I struggled really hard because I would be attracted to men and then i would also be attracted to women and I it would just be confusing to me because i thought i could only be one or the other i also was just like not sexually active at all in high school I was just not nobody was interested in touch with me at all which is a good thing looking back on it because *** experiences in high school can be very scarring but I luckily didn't didn't have to go through any of that but the point is people kind of clocked me before I knew myself that I was a lesbian I mean I had suspicions but I I really kept it push down because like i said i still had attractions to men so I thought that those attractions kind of overrided the attraction that I had for females because I I'll I thought females were hot and I like looking at female bodies but I didn't see myself with other woman you know I couldn't see myself romantically attracted to women I just liked their bodies and I thought I just like looking at their bodies because I wanted to have their bodies and because it was kind of like a I just like looking at it because it was like a motivator for me to someday attain that body you know what I'm saying also people were very very mean to me in high school about my sexuality even though I didn't publicly come out to anyone people still new and people still made my life hell for it I had one friends tell me that I can't be your friend if you're gay or lesbian or bisexual because you're gonna hit on me like *** what did you *** say to me like I'm going to *** hit on you? Let me explain who i was in high school I was the most timid-*** *** I never hit on anybody I never got hit on I never hit on anybody I was of the mindset that I was a disgusting piece of *** if i hit on somebody would be so disgusted that they would have to burn themselves alive you know i mean like i did not have high self-esteem I was not the kind of girl who would actively hit on somebody and oh there's this stupid stigma around lesbians and amen and just anyone in the lgbtq+ community where we're like spring sex fiends and if there's a slight possibility that i might be attracted to you you better run and hide because I'm coming after you because I'm gay and that means that I'm as sex predator like *** you and your standards in your stigma and so many people don't freakin realize that this is a prejudice that they have I see it all the time i'll be talking to a girl she'll find out that i'm pansexual and she'll say oh by the way I'm straight or like I'm really not into girls at all or like I have a boyfriend and like it's so obvious to me that she's putting up this wall of like please don't hit on me it makes me uncomfortable please please please don't be attracted to me it makes me uncomfortable and like first of all I can't help it if I'm attracted to you I'm just attracted to people it happens but I'm not gonna make it weird I you know I mean like I'm not drool all over you and seeing you love ballads and *** bring you flowers and make you super uncomfortable if I'm attracted to you I'm attracted you will be *** do you know I mean like it's not a big deal the only person effects is me. Literally the only person that effect is me and as to like coming onto you and hitting on you why are you so scared of me being like hey what are you doing later do you want to go for a date and you say oh I'm sorry I don't swing that way like you have to preempt it by saying don't ask me out don't hit on me don't do that just don't just don't like that's so presumptuous, do you see how that's incredibly rude and when that is your first response to finding out that somebody is gay you see how this creates a connection in that person's mind of like oh they found out I'm gay now they're kind of scared that I'm gonna come on to them like you don't want you don't want people to know that you're gay because you don't want people to think that you're going to like turn into a predator because even though you're the exact same person you were before you told them you were gay the way they see you is different now they see you as a threat they see you as something they need to keep an eye out for and that makes me sad and I've been putting up with that since high school like girls wouldn't change in front of me in the gym locker room because *** stephanie is gonna get a female *** or whatever like i don't know i know kids are mean I know *** kids are mean adult are mean too like stop it just stop it if somebody tells you they're gay don't make it about you all right oh *** making about you because it's not about you it's really not about you and if they hit on you and they asked you out you polite about it and just say sorry I'm gonna do it like pretend that it's a guy asking you out that you are not interested in. Treat it the same way if a lesbian asks you out and you're not into lesbians treat it like it's a guy asking about who you're just not that into like I'm so sorry i just I don't really, I'm not really feeling the same way for you as your feeling about me don't take it personally you know you wouldn't to go up to a guy you're not attracted to and say by the way I don't want to have sex with you because that's incredibly rude and that's just not something you would do so why would you do that with a lesbian why would you do that with a bisexual or pansexual because it's a prejudiced because you're prejudiced okay so stop *** stop it alright I gotta move on pansexuality that is what I identify as now because i have come to terms with the idea that my sexuality is just on a spectrum and it goes wherever the *** it wants right now i'm i'm a little more attracted to men that I am to women i'm not sure why that is it's just life happens up and downs you know what I mean uh that could change tomorrow that could change next week the point is that I'm attracted to whoever the f I'm attracted to and it doesn't really have a whole lot to do with gender that's really it that's really what pansexuality is it doesn't matter what's between your legs it doesn't matter how you identify on the gender scale I mean it matters to you but if I think you're a cool person if I'm just naturally sexually attracted to you if I'm attracted to your personality and your attitude and the way you treat me then yeah I don't really give a *** yeah and that's that's uh that's it and that's not saying that because there's also this stupid stereotype that pansexuals are like they'll just screw anything that moves or that we are attracted to everybody and let me tell you that is not true there are a lot of people i am not attracted to I could think of quite a few oh yes i can think of quite a few and most of them are people that are actually pretty attractive on the outside but real ugly on the inside so no I'm not attracted to everyone i'm not some sex-crazed maniac who's going to hit on you don't worry okay if i do hit on you I'm gonna ask you out on a date because i'm a proper *** lady I'm an old-fashioned woman okay I know like five who are watching this who are probably laugh your *** off at that statement I try I try to be a classy lady ok also i just want to put in a quick note that this I i found out i was pansexual before I found out I was non-binary and for those of you who don't know yeah I'm non-binary I don't identify as female identify as agender non-binary gender fluid I don't know identifies a lot of things androgyne i identify as a lot of things but basically I don't identify as female anymore because I don't really think it accurately describes my gender I just don't I figured out that I was pansexual long before I figured out I was non-binary and the two don't necessarily correlate you might know somebody who's agender or gender fluid androgynous or non-binary you might know somebody like that who identifies as bisexual or gay or straight or my sexuality doesn't have anything to do with my gender a lot of people have a really hard time wrapping their heads around that but yeah gender sexuality it = they're two different things I mean they do correlate the fact that I identify as neither a man or a woman or both a man and a woman I guess does affect the fact that I'm attracted to both men and women because when I'm feeling more masculine i find myself drawn to feminine people and when i feel myself being more feminine and I'm drawn to more masculine people i just i don't know if that's the thing that society told me to do if that's just a natural reaction but just so you know it's not necessarily correlated pansexuals are not necessarily gender and gender people are not necessarily pansexual ok ok all right yeah thank you so much for watching love you so much stay frosty Bye