Single* Der Film - 2013 - — English subtitles

(sound of water and waves) (bright jingle tone) (piano playing) (Alex) There's too much greed. - (Ben) Too much greed? (Alex) People need kindness! (restaurant noise) (Alex) Oh no... Women asked for it! They're like vampires... Instead of blood they suck my "Spritzpumpe" (German: ***). Still I wonder how to get mentally attached to women. How do you do it with Catja? What about a bet? You have 1 week to attract Catja platonically. You'd never "release" your girlfriend! No touching, no kissing, no sex. How much beer did you have? Alex, how long do we know each other? More than a dozen eternities. (Ben) And how often did I lie to you? Zero. See! (Alex) Well, Benni. If that's what you want... But don't complain later on. (Ben) I certainly won't! (hands clap) (Hannes Smith - Porny) (Alex) Sweety, get off. C'mon! I know, I'm irresistible. (Pony) Tzz... I could easily dump you and sleep with someone else. Sure, shorty. ("Porny" fades out) But it's only 7 days. Please, honey. (Catja) What's going with you? Are you crazy? Kitty, he's my best friend! I hate that name, you know that! Yes, I know. So, why do you call me that way? No! No! (Ben barking) I said... (Ben barking again) Ok, damn tyke. (Ben miauing, Catja smiling) (Hannes Smith - Cheers To Sun) Have you ever thought about what would've happened if you hadn't chosen that way? (Blondy) What do you mean? Well, if you had chosen a "normal" job without selling your body? (sighs) It's none of your business! Didn't you have dreams in your life? A wish you wanted to be fulfilled. Sure. Wouldn't you want to share your life with a person you can tell everything? (Blondy sighs) My husband dumped me before our son's birth... My current lover is an alcoholic... And I'm heavily in debt as I need to pay off the house myself. So, don't tell me about sharing! Instead, you'd rather give me the money for the broken hour. The night is still young and precious. And Alex, the woman you're talking about... Forget her. She's not worth it! (exhales) (Day 7) (Ben) So Alex, how were your days? (Alex) Pretty decent. The normal in and out... (Ben) Did anything happen? I had no slumps! What are you talking about? - What are you talking about? (Catja) No, if something deeper happened! - Of course. They came more often... (Catja) No, I mean... ...to visit me. Well, women do what they can do best... ...serve me! If only there were women with a brain. (Ben) So, everything is good as it is, right? (Catja) What, if not? So, don't we wanna meet more often? I mean, once a week is too little. What do you think? Yeah! Why? After 1 week there's more to tell. We're no lovers whispering sweet nothings and schmaltzy things under the night sky. (Catja) I also think we should meet more often and stop it if gets boring. Let's just try! (Ben) The heck with it! So, see you tomorrow... Super! Wohoo! So, anything special you wanna tell? I think I found someone I could like... (Catja) Aha! Go ahead! She seems mentally under-used and hungry for philosophical exchange. She's pretty, intelligent, but doesn't know if she's still lucky with her boy friend. (Ben) Alex, be aware. Women with a boy friend is a no go. You're running into trouble! (***) L'amour toujours is what Gigi D'Agostino said. (***) Where there's a will there's a way... ...said some guy... (***) Anything else to drink for you? (all) No. (***) Ok. (sings) And I fly with you. Who was that? My buddy, ***! (Catja) (giggles) *** ***? (Ben) Snoop ***? Hahaha, very funny. He's named after the novel of Herman Melville. Moby ***! (Ben clapping and singing with Catja: I'm addicted to you...) (Alex) C'mon! (Hannes Smith - 1723 (Edith Dreiangel) fades out) I've to apologize for what happened earlier. Didn't mean it. (Alex) You were joking. That's all right, Catja. Luckily, I've got more to offer than cheap jokes. Which is? (Alex) I can speak non-sense like Hitler. Chaplin could do the same! (Alex) Yes, but Chaplin needed to lift the arm. As long as it's only the arm. I'm not sure when I'm with you. What about a live performance? Tonight, in the park. Just around the corner? Not sure. (Ben) Can we go? - Yep. Go ahead. I need to talk to ***. (both) Ok. (Hannes Smith - Gonte fades out) Pretty boring with Alex today, right? I think it was nice. (Hannes Smith - Ikennsee (Single* Edit)) Watch out, and don't aspire too much. (Alex) Yes, I know. Ok. Good luck. (Alex) Thank you! She's coming. - Ok, see you tomorrow. Whoo, Ready! What are you doing here? (Ready) I worried about you. (Alex) Sure, you only worry about my ***! (Ready) Alex, c'mon cutie! Ah, don't even try! (heavily exhales) You're alright? Ehm, yes. I just needed to do some sports to calm down. Sweet! So, what about your Hitler parody? (exhales, performs parody imitating Chaplin) (Catja) You lifted the arm! (Alex) Was not my arm. (both laughing) How was your day? Super! I finished almost all of my courses and passed "Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience". Aha, I know! How did you know? We talked yesterday when you've been on the toilet for so long. And you knew about it yesterday already? It was my intuition. I'm convinced of her skills. Sure, when she uses them. I need to get back into my office. The auditing firm is waiting. I can leave you alone without boring each other, right? (Alex) Could be hard, but we'll manage that. (Ben) Bye. (Alex) See you. (Ben) See you. Tonight in the park again? Let's use the moment. Ben is still busy for a long time. And if I sneak out of bed again tonight, he could become suspicious. He looked at me suspiciously yesterday. Ok, let's play it safe. (Catja) Ok. (***) Anything else... (Curly) for you? Oh god, no! No, ***, thanks! Well, ok. Are you alright? Yeah, thanks. I just thought I had seen a person of my past. Probably this is too much for you, and you need a bit of cooling down? Well, let's get out in the park. If you say so... But you won the bet! Which bet do you mean? I wanted to say: You're very nice guy. (rhymes in German) You knew about it? Yeh, I played along to do Ben a favour. So, you faked everything? (Catja) C'mon...! You're a snake in the grass! Listen! I never wanted it to come that far. What are you talking about? That far that you not only fulfill me mentally. You're crazy! No, only crazy for you! (Catja) Hey. (dark, evil sounds) (Alex heavily exhales) (Catja) Calm down, Alex. (Curly) C'mon. You go, boy! She wants you! (Alex exhales) No, no. I can't. You never rejected me. Why she now? You were only a piece of meat. Though I must admit, a very yummy one. See, so have a closer look at what's in front of you! (shrill sound) Oh god! Ben! What? That wasn't funny at all! I didn't intend to... I... I'm going home! (exhales) God am I longing for meat! Didn't you get enough yesterday? Oh, gimme a break! Otherwise, I'm gonna start telling my sex stories. (Catja, ironically) Aha, tell me more! Better not. It'd only hurt you. I couldn't do that to you. Find me on the toilet! What happened? No idea. Alex acted weird today, don't you think? I think, he was only joking. I know him too long. That was no joke. I simply don't know him as good as you. What are you doing here? Taking fresh air. Miles away from home? Sure, I enjoy long walks when I have a rush of blood to my head. I think, you have a rush of blood to your soft parts, recently. Pardon? You know what I'm talking about! Don't you feel that connection between us? Everything I felt recently was your hand between my legs. I confess, I was not averse... Not averse to do what? (Alex) Not averse..., averse... Continue, Alex! I wasn't averse to physically converge with Catja. So, this is how far it has come already? (Alex) Ben, I can explain everything! Every word makes it only worse! That's it. And we've been together for the longest time. No, Ben, please! Listen to me! It's all your fault! ***! Damn piece of trash! No, Alex. Please don't leave me, either! Damn psychopath! (Catja shouting after Ben) (Hannes Smith & Veronique Jacques - Flensee) (1 week later) (steps in the background) I knew I'd find you here! You must be off your rocker! Don't you think... Relax, and listen... I'm sorry for what happened with Catja. But I swear, I had no physical intentions. Catja would be my cup of tea, that's right. But I always knew that I'd never take away your girl friend and soon-to-be wife. So, so... Don't you think if our friendship was minor, I wouldn't have approached her in the first place? At least, she's not averse to me. Your last words trash your apology! I want you to know that it's more important for me to stay friends... And that the threesome, sorry, the three of us stay friends. (Ben) Prove it! - How? (Ben) Prove that you're serious! You want proof? I'll show you! (steps in the background) So, you changed your mind? I knew it. I'm early, a quickie is possible. Shut up! I'm talking, you remain silent. (miau) Pull yourself together! I've got something important to say! I'm all ears. Why do you love Ben? Why did you get together? Why is he at your side for 8 years? Why was he your first friend? And why will he be your first husband? Think about it, carefully! (clears her throat) (Hannes Smith - Passee (Single* Non Vocal Version)) (birds tweet) Give me 24 hours! (raven crows) What do you want now? You wanna tell me again how bad I am? Or tell me that I almost cheated on my friend which I adore above all things? Or tell me what a *** I am that I wanted to use a bet for an affair? I see, you made up your mind. So, what do you want? Meet me at the café, tonight! - Why? You'll see. I hate surprises. Don't be so selfish! There are people who like them. And consider, what he really means to you, what you'd miss when you left him and how much you'd miss him. You... I've got work to do. See you later! (exhales) Pff... (door closes) (Hannes Smith - Chaussee (Single* Long Version)) Do you think 15 years of friendship don't count? ***! Ben, I love you! No, too gay! (no offense) (Ben) What are you doing here? Ehm, I was rehearsing for a new character. And your partner is also called Ben, is he? Yes exactly. Sit down, I think we need to talk. Me too. And that's why you started approaching her after the bet? (Alex) Yep, I wanted to know how strong Catja is attracted to my charm. And you couldn't use another woman? (Alex) You proposed her yourself. Yes, but only for 7 days. (Alex) You think, you can rule the world, hein? I'm working on it and start with my girl friend. (Both laugh) Listen, Ben! Now that we are reconciled... (Ben) Says who? I wanna tell you someting! Go ahead! Till now, we're friends for 15 years! Do you think a woman...sorry Catja... Catja is absent. So, do you think I'll let a woman destroy our friendship? Even though women, apart from Catja,... Still I don't see her. Are we talking about the same Catja? Even though I could only have physical relationships with women... Except Catja! Would you be so kind? - Sorry, pardon. Even though I could only have physical relationships with women...I always appreciated your friendship more than anything! What are friends for if they don't do everything for you? Why do you have the best friend helping you through the rough times? And what kind of friends would we be if a *** bet broke our friendship? (explosion sound) Ben, I love you! (Catja) Hehh, you're gay? (Ben) What are you doing here? (Alex) Ah, c'mon. Relax, I love you like a brother! And now give each other a hug til death does you part! And Ben, we'll talk about you lying to me later... Yes! (Be Single*) (Hannes Smith - Chaussee (Single* Long Version)) (children playing at the beach, seagulls shriek)