Seattle

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING IN PLASTIC VOMIT OR RUBBER CRAP? WHY IS SEATTLE SO AWESOME? EVERY TIME I COME HERE, IT'S BETTER. THAT'S EXTRAORDINARY. WAS SOMEBODY (bleep) WITH AN ENTIRE MUD SHARK? OH, THAT'S GOOD. IF YOU HAD A PRINCIPAL EXPORT, IT WAS PROBABLY, LIKE, SYPHILIS. THERE IS NO CULTURE AROUND COFFEE. COFFEE IS A BEVERAGE. IT'S NOT A CULTURE. EVERY TOWN HAS ITS DARK SIDE. -- Captions by VITAC -- Closed Captions provided by Scripps Networks, LLC. (Bourdain) SEATTLE -- FOR A LONG TIME NOW, ONE OF THE BEST AND MOST INTERESTING FOOD SCENES IN AMERICA, PERIOD. FAMOUSLY GRAY, QUIRKY, WHATEVER -- IT'S UNLIKE ANYPLACE ELSE. SEATTLE! SEA TOWN! EMERALD CITY. 'CAUSE WE'RE SO GREEN. SEA TOWN. THE RAINY CITY. IT RAINS SO MUCH HERE. THE 206. (laughter) HATE CITY, BECAUSE PEOPLE LOVE TO HATE THIS CITY. AND LET IT BE RESOLVED HERE THE WORD "GRUNGE" WILL NEVER AGAIN BE MENTIONED. EVERYONE ALWAYS, LIKE, JUST THINKS OF GRUNGE AND RAIN WHEN THEY THINK OF SEATTLE, AND IT DRIVES US NUTS BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH TO SEATTLE. YOU GET HERE VIA SEATTLE-TACOMA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, A MAJOR JUMPING-OFF POINT FOR ASIA. SEA-TAC IS ABOUT 13 MILES FROM DOWNTOWN, WHICH IS NOT BAD. AND YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF OPTIONS WHEN IT COMES TO TRANSPORT. PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION'S THE BEST WAY TO GET AROUND SEATTLE. IT'S VERY EASY, INEXPENSIVE. I GOT TO DISAGREE. OUR BUS SYSTEM SUCKS, BUT (laughs) THE LIGHT-RAIL'S PRETTY COOL. THE LIGHT-RAIL IS DEFINITELY A WONDERFUL OPTION. IF I NEED TO BE SOMEWHERE FAST, I USE MY CAR. ME? I'VE SCORED A LOANER. THEY CARE ABOUT, LIKE, THE ENVIRONMENT AROUND HERE. AND SO DO I. OH, YOU GET INTERNET ON THIS (bleep) I CAN WATCH *** WHILE I'M DRIVING. (man laughs) (laughs) THE ALL-ELECTRIC TESLA "S" -- PLUG IT IN LIKE A HAIR DRYER, AND IT GIVES YOU 300 MILES ON THE ROAD. SO I DON'T GET IT. WHY DOESN'T EVERYONE IN THE WORLD HAVE ONE OF THESE? IT BURNS NO GAS. YOU CAN JUST RUN IT OFF ELECTRICITY. OKAY, MAYBE 'CAUSE THIS ONE COSTS $100,000, BUT THEY START AROUND $57,000. I FEEL SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE IN A SPORTY, HIGHLY EXPENSIVE WAY. WHENEVER I'M IN SEATTLE ON A LAYOVER, I DRIVE $100,000 WORTH OF RECHARGEABLE AUTOMOBILE. SEATTLE'S A PORT LYING BETWEEN PUGET SOUND ON ONE SIDE AND LAKE WASHINGTON ON THE OTHER. THE RESULT... THE GEOGRAPHY HERE IS KIND OF SPLIT UP WITH A LOT OF WATER. MOST PEOPLE WOULD SAY THERE'S, LIKE, DOWNTOWN, SOUTH SEATTLE, AND NORTH SEATTLE. UP NORTH, YOU HAVE LAKE CITY, UNIVERSITY DISTRICT, AND BALLARD. BALLARD USED TO BE A BLUE-COLLAR WORKING-CLASS NEIGHBORHOOD, BUT IT'S DEFINITELY A HIP NEIGHBORHOOD NOW. IF YOU GO SOUTH, THERE'S, LIKE, RAINIER VALLEY AND COLUMBIA CITY. DOWNTOWN RUNS ALONG THE WATERFRONT. THEN THERE'S CAPITOL HILL RIGHT THERE, LIKE NEXT TO DOWNTOWN, WHICH IS, LIKE, THE HIPSTER, LIKE, CENTRAL. I ALWAYS STAY THE SAME PLACE IN SEATTLE -- THE STRANGE AND WONDERFUL EDGEWATER HOTEL. SEE, I LOVE THIS HOTEL 'CAUSE IT'S LIKE "TWIN PEAKS." THE LOBBY HAS TOTALLY, SORT OF, GOT A LUMBER, WOODSY, KIND OF A THEME. STEEPED IN TRADITION, THEY HOSTED, AMONG MANY OTHER BANDS BACK IN THE DAY, THE BEATLES. I REALLY HATE THIS. IT'S LIKE SO AUSTIN POWERS. I'M GONNA HIDE THEM UNDER THE (bleep) BED. IF YOU'RE NOT INTO WOODEN-FIREPLACES AND "TWIN PEAKS" MOTIF AND THE CRUISE SHIPS SLIDING PAST YOUR WINDOW, YOU COULD ALSO STAY AT THE EXCELLENT INN AT THE MARKET OVERLOOKING THE PIKE PLACE MARKET RIGHT DOWNTOWN. A NICE HOTEL, GREAT VIEWS, NICE LOCATION. YOU KNOW, I LIKE THE BEATLES JUST FINE, BUT IS THERE A ROLLING STONES ROOM? I HAVE 48 HOURS TO PLAY, SO LET'S GO. WALKING, WALKING, WALKING. TRY NOT TO HIT THE PASSERBY HERE. IT'S LIKE AFTER YOU WORK AT *** FOR TWO YEARS, YOU HATE YOURSELF SO MUCH, YOU MOVE OVER TO CUTTERS. THE STORY IS EVERYBODY SAYS THE WEATHER IN SEATTLE SUCKS, BUT ACTUALLY, THE REST OF THE COUNTRY IS BROILING IN HEAT NOW. IT'S LIKE 100 DEGREES IN NEW YORK. IN FACT, JUST ABOUT EVERYWHERE IN THE COUNTRY IS STEAMING HOT. SO I'M LIKING THIS WEATHER JUST FINE. BREAKFAST FIRST, RIGHT? SEATOWN IS ONE OF CHEF TOM DOUGLAS' EMPIRE OF REALLY GOOD RESTAURANTS -- A PARTICULARLY GOOD ONE, EXACTLY THE ONE I NEED RIGHT NOW. (woman) YEAH? THERE'S A FAMOUS CRAB AND EGG SANDWICH? THE FRIED-EGG SANDWICH, AND THEN UNDERNEATH, IT SAYS BACON, CRAB, OR -- WITH THE DUNGENESS CRAB, OKAY. SO FRIED-EGG SANDWICH, DUNGENESS CRAB. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN FOR ME. OKAY. DO YOU WANT ANYTHING TO DRINK BESIDES WATER? BLOODY MARY? WE HAVE GOOD BLOODY MARYS. AWESOME. EGG, CHEESE, CRABMEAT, AND AVOCADO -- THIS IS SEATTLE IN AN ENGLISH MUFFIN. HERE YOU GO. OH, THANK YOU. WHOA, THAT'S PRETTY. ALL RIGHT. YEAH. THAT IS A GOOD COMBINATION FOR BREAKFAST. NOT TOO FAR FROM, YOU KNOW, THE PREFERRED, SORT OF, NEW YORKER BREAKFAST ON THE GO OF CHOICE -- THE CLASSIC FRIED EGG ON A ROLL IN THE MORNING. THIS IS SOMEWHAT MORE LUXURIOUS. IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING MORE DOWN HOME, WHEREVER HOME MIGHT BE, YOU COULD HEAD OVER TO NOOK IN THE UNIVERSITY DISTRICT. IS THAT FOR HERE OR TO GO? OKAY. DESCRIBED AS A TEMPLE OF BISCUIT-WORSHIP, THEY'VE GOT TERRIFIC HOMEMADE BUTTERMILK BISCUITS, BISCUITS AND GRAVY, SWEET BISCUITS, AND, OF COURSE, BREAKFAST SANDWICHES. THEY OPEN AT 9:00 AND STAY OPEN UNTIL THEY SELL OUT. BETTER GET THERE BEFORE NOON IS WHAT I'M SAYING. FUNNY THING HERE -- YOU'RE RIGHT NEAR PIKE PLACE MARKET, YOU KNOW, WHERE ALL THE TOURISTS ARE COME AND GO THROUGH AND SEE THEM THROWING THE FISH AROUND, AND A LOT OF BUSINESS AROUND HERE, A LOT OF TOURISTS SNAPPING WITH CAMERAS, AND EVERYBODY COMES HERE. ACCORDING TO THE NORMAL RULES OF RESTAURANT REALITY, THE FOOD SHOULDN'T BE GOOD HERE. BUT THIS PLACE IS AWESOME, OBVIOUSLY. BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF REALLY GOOD PLACES TO EAT IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, WHICH IS YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF -- YOU SEE IT ALL THE TIME IN THIS TOWN -- FOOD BEING MUCH, MUCH BETTER THAN IT HAS TO BE, YOU KNOW? ONE OF THE MORE RECENT DESTINATIONS FOR AMAZING FOOD IN SEATTLE IS MELROSE MARKET IN CAPITOL HILL, A COLLECTION OF SHOPS DEVOTED TO -- SINCE I HATE TO USE THE WORD "ARTISANAL," BUT "HAND-CRAFTED, CAREFULLY SELECTED, LOCALLY MADE" JUST DOESN'T SOUND SEXY ENOUGH, DOES IT? WE GET STUFF LIKE TAILS AND TROTTERS FROM -- IT'S, YOU KNOW, WASHINGTON RAISED, HAZELNUT FINISHED. KIND OF TRYING TO MIMIC THE IBéRICO EFFECT. FOOD VENDORS LIKE MARIGOLD AND MINT AND RAIN SHADOW MEATS ARE FIERCELY DEDICATED TO SUPPORTING HIGH-QUALITY LOCAL PRODUCERS. AND YOU WOULD BE WELL ADVISED, REALLY, TO GO AND LOOK AROUND AND EAT SOME STUFF. COULD I HAVE A LITTLE SLIVER OF THE MORTADELLA? THIS IS ONE OF THE WORLD'S GREAT UNDER-APPRECIATED MEATS, BY THE WAY. WE'RE MAKING IT APPRECIATED, YOU KNOW? MMM! OH, THAT'S GOOD. YEAH, IT'S NOT A BAD THING IN THE SLIGHTEST. THERE IS ALSO, OF COURSE, THE FAMOUS PIKE PLACE MARKET. (man) SO, GUYS, WE'RE IN THE PIKE PLACE MARKET. IT'S THE OLDEST FARMER'S MARKET IN THE UNITED STATES. SINCE 1907, IT'S BEEN CONTINUALLY RUNNING EVERY DAY. CENTER STAGE FOR THE FLYING-FISH DUDES. IT'S WELL-TRAVELED GROUND, TRUE, BUT ALWAYS WORTH VISITING. YOUR SMALLEST SOCKEYE! (all) YOUR SMALLEST SOCKEYE! SOCKEYE! (all) SOCKEYE HERE! THEY ONLY THROW THE FISH THAT PEOPLE BUY ONE TIME. ALL THE OTHER FISH THAT WE'RE THROWING ARE FISH THAT WE PURCHASE, A LOWER GRADE OF FISH, AND WE DONATE THEM AFTER WE'RE DONE THROWING THEM. 'CAUSE, LIKE, THROWING FISH IS PROBABLY THE WORST THING THAT YOU CAN DO TO A FISH, BESIDES PULLING IT OUT OF THE WATER. ME, I'M BACK AT MELROSE. WOW, THAT'S A VERY ATTRACTIVE-LOOKING COUNTER. I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH SHERI LaVIGNE OF CALF & KID. IS THERE ANY NOBLER CALLING THAN MAKING, LOOKING AFTER, AND SELLING CHEESE? GOOD-LOOKING STUFF. WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE? WHERE DOES THIS CHEESE COME FROM? WE FOCUS A LOT ON PACIFIC NORTHWEST CHEESE MAKERS. WE'RE REPRESENTING ABOUT 18 WASHINGTON AND OREGON CREAMERIES AT THE MOMENT. LOTS OF GOOD OOEY-GOOEYS THAT ARE, KIND OF, REALLY SEASONAL. LOTS OF GOOD AGED STUFF. FROM WHEN I FIRST STARTED COMING TO SEATTLE, I GUESS AROUND 2000, IT WAS BROOKLYN BEFORE BROOKLYN. THERE WAS A LOT OF YOUNG HIPSTER FORAGER CHEESE MAKERS OUT THERE. WHY HERE? I THINK IT'S BECAUSE THE CLIMATE IS GREAT. YOU KNOW, WE'VE GOT LOTS OF LUSH, GRAZING FARMLAND. THE AREAS RIGHT OUTSIDE OF SEATTLE ARE UNDERDEVELOPED, AND THERE'S A LOT OF LAND AVAILABLE AND IT'S CHEAP AND PEOPLE ARE SO INTO SUPPORTING LOCAL OUT HERE. SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT -- I TEND TO LIKE RUNNY AND SMELLY. OKAY. KIND OF SEATTLE'S LITTLE DARLING OF THE CHEESE WORLD. THIS IS DINAH'S CHEESE -- NICE YELLOW, BUTTERY GUERNSEY COW MILK. WOW, THAT'S AWESOME. I'D LEAVE THAT OUT IN THE SUN FOR A LITTLE WHILE. THIS IS A FABULOUS LITTLE SHEEP-MILK WASHED RIND FROM SNOWY MOUNTAIN CREAMERY OUT IN UTAH. THAT'S EXTRAORDINARY. THIS GUY IS CALLED PERRYDALE. THAT WAS DELICIOUS. WHAT ELSE DO YOU GOT? HOW ABOUT SOMETHING BLEU? THIS IS CALLED TWO-FACED BLEU. CAN I GET ANOTHER LITTLE PIECE OF THAT? THAT'S GOOD. WOW. I DON'T CARE WHAT KIND OF HIPPIES MADE THIS STUFF OR EVEN IF THEY'RE DAVE MATTHEWS FANS. THIS STUFF IS GREAT. I MEAN, REALLY GREAT. WE MAKE FEWER AND FEWER THINGS IN AMERICA, YOU KNOW? SO IF YOU'RE, YOU KNOW, A TEAM AMERICA TYPE GUY, YOU KNOW, THIS IS SURELY A GOOD THING FOR THE COUNTRY. OH, YEAH. I MEAN, LOOK, WE'RE MAKING STUFF. AND WE'RE MAKING STUFF THAT THE EUROPEANS USED TO THINK THEY HAD A HAMMERLOCK ON. AND IT'S AWESOME. YEP. THIS IS A GOAT CHèVRE CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE. THESE ARE MADE BY BRIAR ROSE CREAMERY DOWN IN DUNDEE, OREGON. AND THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY DIVINE. WOW. THAT SHOULDN'T BE GOOD, BUT IT IS. (laughs) I'M NOT A BIG SWEET TOOTH, SO I LIKE THAT BECAUSE THERE'S A LITTLE BIT OF TANG. YEAH. I'D EAT DESSERT IF THEY WERE ALL LIKE THIS. (Bourdain) THIS IS WORSE THAN L.A. FREEWAY TRAFFIC IN L.A. IS HORRENDOUS, BUT SIDE STREETS IN L.A. -- IT'S STOP-AND-GO, BUT IT'S NOT -- THIS IS ALL STOP-STOP. YEAH. SO THEY TELL ME. IT'S A LOANER. BELIEVE ME. NO (bleep) 300 MILES ON AN OVERNIGHT CHARGE, THOUGH. NOT BAD. POLLUTER! AND IT HANDLES CRUNCHING THE BONES OF THE 99% UNDER ITS WHEELS VERY WELL. THAT BUMPER CAN HANDLE THE IMPACT OF A HOMELESS PERSON UP TO LIKE 40 OR 50 MILES WITHOUT ANY VISIBLE DAMAGE. KEEPS ITS TRACTION EVEN AFTER RUNNING OVER GIMPS. ON MY WAY TO WALLINGFORD, A RESIDENTIAL NEIGHBORHOOD KNOWN FOR SIDEWALK CAFéS AND MY DESTINATION -- ARCHIE McPHEE. CAPTAIN AR-R-R-CHIE HERE. IT'S LIKE A TOY STORE FOR ADULTS, KIND OF. IT'S FULL OF LOTS OF BINS OF PLASTIC BABIES AND SNAKES AND TATTOOS AND JUST RANDOM STUFF. OH, YEAH, THAT'LL BE GOOD. SQUIRREL UNDERPANTS. PICKLE BANDAGES. THAT WILL MAKE WOUND TIME FUN TIME. WHERE'S THE ANTISOCIAL AND POTENTIALLY DISFIGURING SECTION? SYRINGES? CAN'T HAVE ENOUGH OF THOSE. BODY BAGS. WOW, THAT'S GREAT. IT SORT OF DECLARES YOUR INTENTIONS, YOU KNOW. IT'S NOT EXACTLY MULTI-USE. SO THE THING IS WITH A HEFTY BAG, YOU KNOW, A BIG PLASTIC BAG, YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE PULLED OVER, THERE'S A REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR THE THING IN YOUR CAR. RUBBER STRAP. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'D BE USING THAT FOR. I GET IT. GLOVES, BODY BAG, QUICK TIES. ALL YOUR SERIAL-KILLER NEEDS. BUT I'M LOOKING FOR PLASTIC PUKE, OR, YOU KNOW A BIG, NASTY CLEVELAND STEAMER. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING IN PLASTIC VOMIT OR RUBBER CRAP? NO, UNFORTUNATELY, WE DON'T HAVE EITHER ONE OF THOSE. WOW, THEY'RE CLASSICS! YEAH, THEY ARE. NOT INTO PLASTIC POOP? EASY STREET RECORDS OVER IN WEST SEATTLE. OPENED IN 1988, THIS INDIE OUTFIT GREW UP WITH THE LOCAL MUSIC SCENE. (man) GOING INTO THE '80s AND '90s, A LOT OF BANDS CAME OUT OF THE WEST SEATTLE NEIGHBORHOOD. BUT YOU HAD BANDS LIKE SOUNDGARDEN AND PEARL JAM AND MUDHONEY ALL LIVING HERE IN BEAUTIFUL WEST SEATTLE. THEY BRING IN BANDS, AND THEY PLAY WHEN THEY RELEASE CDs. IT'S JUST REALLY FUN. IT HAS A REALLY GREAT, KIND OF, CITY VIBE TO IT. A LOT OF REALLY TALENTED BANDS HAPPENED TO BE IN TOWN AT ONE TIME AND ALL ENDED UP GETTING LABELED WITH SOME RIDICULOUS CATCH-ALL TERM FOR WHAT THEY WERE DOING. WHAT WAS THAT WORD? I FORGET. ANYWAY, I DIGRESS. BIZARRO GLASSES. GLOWY STUFF. BODY PARTS THAT SWELL UP WHEN EXPOSED TO LIQUID. ORGANS THAT DO THE SAME. PICKLE BANDAGES. AND, REALLY, IT'S A CLASSIC. EVERY LITTLE GIRL SHOULD HAVE A WHOOPEE CUSHION. WHO DOESN'T LIKE WHOOPEE CUSHIONS? COMMUNISTS AND ENEMIES OF AMERICA. IN ANY DIRECTION, THERE'S OCEAN OR LAKE OR A GORGEOUS MOUNTAIN RANGE. MOUNTAIN RANGE OVER THERE. WE GOT A MOUNTAIN RANGE OVER THERE. YOU HAVE THE OLYMPIC MOUNTAINS THAT ARE ON THE WEST SIDE OF THE PUGET SOUND, AND THEN YOU HAVE THE CASCADES THAT ARE ON THE EAST SIDE OF PUGET SOUND. YOU HAVE A TON OF WATER. (Bourdain) YOU HAVE A TON OF COLD WATER THAT TURNS OUT SOME OF THE BEST FRESHWATER FISH ANYWHERE. TOM DOUGLAS IS A LONGTIME BALLARD RESIDENT AND A FIXTURE OF THE SEATTLE DINING SCENE SINCE 1989. HE'S MEETING ME AT ONE OF THE VERY BEST PLACES TO EXPLORE THE STUNNING VARIETY OF PACIFIC NORTHWEST SEAFOOD -- THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER, OYSTER BAR AND CASUAL RESTAURANT HELMED BY RENEE ERICKSON. SO ON YOUR RIGHT SIDE THERE, YOU HAVE YOUR -- THE BEARING POINTS. AND THEN ON YOUR LEFT SIDE, THE SIX BAYWATER SWEETS. ENJOY, GUYS. OOH, WOW. WOW, THESE THINGS ARE UNBELIEVABLE. WHY, OF ALL THE PLACES, YOU KNOW, WHY DID IT HAPPEN HERE SO EARLY? I MEAN, HONEST TO GOD, IT'S THIS RIGHT HERE. YOU CAN'T (bleep) THESE UP. THE NUMBER-ONE THING YOU HAVE TO DO AS A SEATTLE COOK IS LEARN TO LET THIS SHINE. SEATTLE-MADE PEOPLE WANT STUFF THEY DIDN'T KNOW THEY NEEDED. AND, OF COURSE, WE ALL NEED IT. YOU MAY NOT KNOW YOU NEED IT, BUT YOU DO. OH, THANK YOU. FRIED OYSTERS WITH CILANTRO AIOLI. THANK YOU. I LOVE THE DEPTH TOUCH THAT THEY HAVE. THOSE OYSTERS ARE ALMOST RAW IN THE MIDDLE, YET SUPER-CRISPY ON THE OUTSIDE. I LOVE THAT. NICELY DONE, RIGHT? COONSTRIPE PRAWN CRUDO. (man) THE ROE THERE -- THE SHELLS ARE FRIED. YOU CAN EAT THOSE, AS WELL. MMM! THERE ARE, HOWEVER, A LOT OF GREAT PLACES TO EAT IN SEATTLE, AND IF YOU'RE LIKE ME AND HAVE A REAL SOFT SPOT FOR SUPERBLY WELL-EXECUTED OLD-SCHOOL FRENCH BISTRO, LE PICHET IS ONE OF THE BEST IN THE COUNTRY. FRENCH DINO CLASSICS LIKE CHICKEN LIVER TUREEN... (man) CHEF'S SELECTION OF CHARCUTERIE. ...WITH LYON STYLE SAUSAGES, CURED BEEF TONGUE, PORK RILLETTE, OR COUNTRY-STYLE PâTé. OR MAYBE SOME SIMPLE GRILLED SARDINE. THEY'RE WONDERFUL. TONIGHT, THOUGH, I'M HAVING STEAMED CLAMS WITH BACON, GARLIC, AND CANNELLINI BEANS. OH, YEAH. YOU BETTER MOVE THOSE OVER HERE A LITTLE BIT. YEAH, LET'S PUT THESE RIGHT IN THERE. YEAH, SEE, THAT'S PERFECT HAPPINESS FOR ME. THAT'S JUST DELICIOUS. YOU CAN'T FIND WHAT WE HAVE HERE IN NEW YORK CITY. I MEAN, THE STEREOTYPE OF, YOU KNOW, THE TATTOOED ARTISANAL CHEESE MAKER -- I MEAN, THAT HAPPENED HERE. AND THAT WAS A HUGELY, HUGELY IMPORTANT THING. THE GRUNGE SCENE, RIGHT? THEY REJECT THE WORD "GRUNGE." I MEAN, COINCIDENTALLY, YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF REALLY GREAT, INFLUENTIAL BANDS AT THE SAME TIME IN ONE TOWN THAT WAS CRUELLY LABELED. I HATE DAVE MATTHEWS. YOU HATE DAVE MATTHEWS?! I HATE DAVE MATTHEWS. YOU'RE UN-AMERICAN. YEAH. ALL RIGHT, I FOUND SOMETHING ABOUT SEATTLE THAT I HATE. THANK YOU. BEST TIME TO VISIT IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY RAIN AT ALL IS FROM JULY 4th TO SEPTEMBER 30th. IT IS THE LOVELIEST PLACE JULY 5th THROUGH PROBABLY SEPTEMBER, I'D SAY. YOU KNOW, 75, 85 DEGREES, LONG DAYS, YOU KNOW, LATE NIGHTS, AND PERFECT WEATHER. THE JOKE IS LOCALLY THAT SUMMER HERE STARTS JULY 5th -- THE DAY AFTER THE FOURTH OF JULY IS WHEN THE SUN HAPPENS, AND EVERYBODY KIND OF COMES OUT OF THEIR SHELL. IT'S WHEN YOU START TO REALIZE THAT THERE ARE STILL WOMEN IN TOWN BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE SKIN. IT'S A PARTICULARLY, SOME MIGHT SAY UNUSUALLY, BEAUTIFUL SUMMER DAY. AND I'M TAKING A PLANE RIDE. OH, YEAH, I ALWAYS DO THAT. ACTUALLY, NO, I DON'T. BUT TODAY, I AM. I'M GONNA FLY AROUND IN CIRCLES FOR A LITTLE BIT, GET SOME "B" ROLL, LOOK LIKE I'M LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW. THERE'LL BE SOME "LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW" SCENES, I SUSPECT. "TONY, CAN YOU LOOK OUT THE WINDOW INSTEAD OF CHECKING YOUR (bleep) E-MAIL?" (woman) CLEAR PROP. A QUICK TAXI AND SMOOTH TAKEOFF FROM LAKE UNION. BILL BOEING FLEW HIS VERY FIRST AIRCRAFT, AND HE FLEW IT OFF OF LAKE UNION HERE. WHAT'S THAT THING? SOME KIND OF TOWER OR SOMETHING. I FORGET WHAT THEY CALL IT -- THE SPACE PRONG OR SOMETHING. BEAUTIFUL CITY. PRETTY. OR IF YOU HATE PLANES, YOU COULD GO ON A BOAT. YOU COULD DO THAT. WE HAVE THIS HUGE FERRY SYSTEM THAT CAN TAKE YOU TO A LOT OF THE ISLANDS WITHIN 20 MINUTES. (man) WE'RE ON BAINBRIDGE ISLAND, AND IT'S REALLY NICE. YOU CAN SEE SEALS AND SOMETIMES THERE'S ORCAS OUT THERE. SO IT'S A REALLY FUN WAY TO SPEND AN AFTERNOON. IF YOU'RE GONNA TAKE A FERRY, I WOULD TAKE A FERRY TO VASHON ISLAND. THAT'S MY FAVORITE ISLAND. IT'S SMALLER, THERE'S LESS PEOPLE. THERE IS, ALSO, OF COURSE, WATER TAXIS AND (bleep) I THINK THE RIDE OVER ON THE WATER TAXI GIVES YOU A PHENOMENAL VIEW OF THE CITY. GET ON THE FERRY GOING TO WEST SEATTLE AND HAVING TO LOOK BACK AT THE CITY IS REALLY GREAT. AND GOING TO ALKI, WALKING AROUND ON THE BEACH. WEST SEATTLE, TOO, IS A GREAT SPOT TO BE, AND YOU'RE LOOKING BACK EASTWARD TOWARDS THE CITY LANDSCAPE. AND THAT'S A GREAT VIEW, ALSO. WEST SEATTLE -- THE TRUE BIRTHPLACE OF THE CITY. SALTY'S FISH AND CHIPS ON ALKI IS FANTASTIC. BIRTHPLACE OF JIMI HENDRIX, BY THE WAY. THEY NAMED A DRINK AFTER HIM. I'M SURE HE WOULD HAVE BEEN HONORED. (Bourdain) THIS IS A REALLY PRETTY CITY IN A BEAUTIFUL AREA. THERE'S A REASON ALL THOSE DOT-COM GUYS STAYED HERE AND BUILT, YOU KNOW, MASSIVE HOMES. I MEAN, ABOVE AND BEYOND THE FACT THAT IT'S A COOL TOWN WITH GREAT FOOD AND ALL THE REST, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. TONIGHT, DINNER AT CANLIS, A STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL EXAMPLE OF NON-IRONIC RETRO GLAMOUR. A KITCHEN WITH 60-SOME YEARS OF TRADITION THAT NOT ONLY KNOWS HOW TO DO A PROPER HUNK OF BLEEDING MEAT, BUT IT'S TAKEN ON CHEF JEFF FRANEY, VETERAN OF NEW YORK'S EXTRAORDINARY 11 MADISON PARK. THIS PLACE -- YOU COULD JUST IMAGINE, LIKE, FRANK SINATRA AND DON DRAPER DRUNKENLY HITTING ON CHICKS AT THE BAR. ONE OF THE FEW JACKETS-REQUIRED DINING ROOMS IN USUALLY DRESSED-DOWN SEATTLE. IT IS SWINGING. CHEFS RENEE ERICKSON AND MATT DILLON JOIN ME FOR DINNER. DO YOU HAVE ANY PAPPY VAN WINKLE? OH, REALLY? YES. SOMEHOW I FELT IT. I DETECTED IT. AND WHICH PAPPY WOULD YOU HAVE? IT'S JUST A SINGLE. IT'S A 20-YEAR. MY FAVORITE. I WILL HAVE ONE OF THOSE WITH ONE ROCK, PLEASE. GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE, PLEASE. YEAH. GIN MARTINI. THE RIGHT DRINK FOR THE ROOM. WHY IS SEATTLE SO AWESOME FOR FOOD? I MEAN, WHAT WAS IT ABOUT THIS PLACE THAT DREW SERIAL KILLERS, ARTISANS, AND CHEFS? THE OBVIOUS CONNECTION TO THE SOUND, THE MOUNTAINS, YOU KNOW, THE DIVERSITY OF WHAT'S AVAILABLE. AND IT'S HERE. LIKE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK FOR IT, REALLY. I LIVE IN SEATTLE. I'M 45 MINUTES FROM SKIING AND AN HOUR FROM SURFING. THAT SAME THING HAPPENS WITH FOOD. WE'RE SO CLOSE TO EVERYTHING. ARTICHOKE TORTELLINI... WOW, THAT'S PRETTY. ...STEAK TARTARE... AND DUNGENESS CRAB CAKE TO START. WHY ALL THE SERIAL KILLERS IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST? HIDEOUS WEATHER ALL YEAR LONG. IT'S KIND OF LIKE DEATH METAL IN SCANDINAVIA. THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST IS A PARTICULARLY GOOD PLACE TO REINVENT YOURSELF, TO START OVER. AND THAT'S GOOD FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO PLANT THINGS IN SHALLOW GRAVES, BUT IT'S ALSO GOOD FOR COOKS, I THINK. MUSCOVY DUCK, DRY-AGED FOR 14 DAYS, ROASTED WHOLE. THE BREAST IS SLICED, THE PLATE IS DRESSED WITH ORANGE CHUTNEY, FENNEL, AND CIPOLLINI ONION. OH, AND A GLEASON RANCH MONSTER RIB EYE, MEDIUM RARE. AND AN IBéRICO PORK CHEEK WITH STRAWBERRY AND FENNEL. THIS IS COMPLETELY AWESOME. PLEASE ATTACK. YOU COULD, OF COURSE, GO TO MATT'S LUXURIOUSLY DELICIOUS SITKA & SPRUCE FOR INSANELY HIGH-QUALITY PRODUCE-DRIVEN DISHES. KING BOLETE MUSHROOMS WITH BING CHERRIES, GIBLETS, AND FINO SHERRY GLAZE -- A FORAGER'S WET DREAM. TURNIPS, TARRAGON, AND YOGURT, OR SHELLING PEAS HARVESTED FROM THE RESTAURANT'S FARM ON VASHON ISLAND, COMBINED WITH CHANTERELLE AND KING SALMON FROM LA PUSH. TOO MUCH? YOU COULD GO TO QUINN'S PUB FOR A BURGER. THEY DO GREAT ONES. OR FOR PORK BELLY AND CRISPY PIG'S EARS, WHICH YOU KNOW THAT'S GONNA BE GOOD. THERE'S GREAT LOCAL BEERS AND THE DELIGHTFUL WILD-BOAR SLOPPY JOE, WHICH THEY TELL ME IS SOMETHING YOU JUST GOT TO DO. SLOW-COOKED BOAR MEAT ON A BRIOCHE BUN WITH CRISPY SAGE LEAVES, FRIED ONIONS, AND GRILLED PEPPER. A FRIED DUCK EGG IS OPTIONAL. FOR ME, THAT WOULD BE A MUST. OH, YEAH. (Bourdain) IF SOMEONE WERE COMING HERE FOR JUST A FEW DAYS, WHERE SHOULD THEY GO? YOU ONLY GOT A COUPLE OF DAYS -- TWO, THREE DAYS. I THINK EATING OYSTERS AT YOUR PLACE IS A PRETTY (bleep) GOOD IDEA. TAKE A FERRY, YOU KNOW, LIKE, DO SOMETHING WHERE YOU'RE, LIKE, NOT STUCK IN THE CITY. TAKE THE FERRY, HAVE SOME OYSTERS. CRABBING. YEAH. DO YOU STILL GO OUT TO SEE MUSIC? OH, YEAH. I'M NOT GOING OUT TO SEE MUSIC. THAT AIN'T HAPPENING. I'D BE ARRESTED AS A *** OR SOMETHING. I'D BE THAT CREEPY GUY. YOU DEFINITELY DON'T WANT ME IN YOUR VENUE. IF I WERE AN APPROPRIATE AGE. IS THIS STILL A GOOD TOWN TO SEE MUSIC? IT'S AN UNBELIEVABLE MUSIC CITY. YEAH, I MEAN, THERE'S SHOWS EVERY NIGHT. AND THERE'S SO MANY BANDS HERE. MUSIC VENUES IN SEATTLE WOULD HAVE TO BE SHOWBOX, NEUMOS. SUNSET TAVERN. SHOWBOX, FUNHOUSE. CHOP SUEY IS A GOOD VENUE. CHOP SUEY AND NEUMOS. (man) THE TWO GREAT VENUES -- IN BALLARD, YOU HAVE THE TRACTOR. CASTLE HILL -- YOU HAVE NEUMOS. EITHER WAY, NO MATTER WHO'S PLAYING, BOTH THOSE VENUES ARE AWESOME. WHAT ABOUT THE CROCODILE? CHANGED OWNERSHIP. IT'S NOT QUITE THE SAME ANYMORE. IT'S NOT QUITE AS DIRTY. (laughs) USED TO BE AWESOME. THE BIGGEST SEATTLE NON-EATING ACTIVITY IS DRINKING. AND YOU CAN DO THAT PRETTY MUCH ANYWHERE. I DRINK A LOT. (laughs) NOT A LOT, MOM. IF WE'RE JUST GOING TO GET A BEER, WE LIKE TO GO TO NAKED CITY OVER IN GREENWOOD. I'D SAY PROBABLY THE LAVA LOUNGE AND THE 5 POINT ARE MY TWO FAVORITE BARS IN BELLTOWN. THEY'RE ALSO TWO OF THE OLDER, ORIGINAL BARS. (Bourdain) BELLTOWN -- A DIGESTIF. RENEE AND MATT SUGGEST ROB ROY AFTER MY EPIC MEAL. (Bourdain) SO, WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING? I'M GONNA HAVE THE GREEN STUFF. YOU'RE DRINKING ABSINTHE? NO, CHARTREUSE. CHARTREUSE. IT'S THE GREATEST. REALLY? YOU KNOW, NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I HEARD ANYTHING POSITIVE ABOUT CHARTREUSE. I NEED A SECOND OPINION. CHARTREUSE -- IS THIS SOMETHING I SHOULD BE DRINKING? AND HOW DO YOU DRINK IT? NEAT. NEAT, OR DO WE WANT IT ON THE ROCKS? I'LL DO -- YEAH! CHARTREUSE, SAYS THE MAN. OKAY. I COULD HAVE GONE DOWN THE STREET TO THE 5 POINT, WHERE THE MOTTO IS "ALCOHOLICS SERVING ALCOHOLICS SINCE 1929." IT'S A DIVE BAR THAT OPENS AT 6:00 IN THE MORNING. AND BREAKFAST HAPPY HOUR FROM 6:00 TO 9:00 A.M., WHICH IS PRETTY HARD-CORE. CRAFT BEER OR, LIKE, NORMAL BEER -- WHATEVER. THEY'RE THERE FOR YOU WHATEVER YOUR BEER NEEDS. BELLTOWN A FEW YEARS AGO WAS, SORT OF, THE CENTER OF HIP IN SEATTLE. I WOULD SAY NOW CAPITOL HILL ON PIKE AND PINE IS REALLY THE HIPPEST NEIGHBORHOOD. A LOT OF PEOPLE GO DOWN THERE 'CAUSE THERE'S A TON OF BARS, LIKE, WITHIN A TWO-BLOCK RADIUS. FOR EXAMPLE, UNICORN. UNICORN IS MAGIC. UNICORN IS THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH. CARNY FOOD, SUPER-FUN DRINK MENU, AND A GREAT ATMOSPHERE WITH LOTS OF DEAD ANIMALS ON THE WALL. THEY HAVE HIPSTER-INSPIRED DRINKS CALLED UNICORN (bleep) AND MY LITTLE PONY. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I'M NOT TRYING ANY TIME SOON. YUM. OH, GOD. IT'S THE GREATEST STUFF ON EARTH. IT'S ALMOST LIKE A FRENCH AMARO. IT'S GOT A BITTERNESS TO IT THAT I LIKE. I GOT TO TELL YOU, THIS IS...CHALLENGING. IT'S SO HERBACEOUS. WHO DRINKS THIS, AND WHERE? I DRINK IT EVERY DAY. YOU DRINK IT EVERY DAY? BEFORE OR AFTER THE MEAL? BOTH. PARDON? HE HAD A LOVELY, CLEAR TENOR PRIOR TO DRINKING THIS, DIDN'T HE? I'M READY FOR AN 8-HOUR NAP, BUT IF YOU CHOOSE TO STAY OUT AND DRINK UP, YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF IN NEED OF LATE-NIGHT, DRUNK-*** HANGOVER FOOD. LADIES, LADIES, YOU KNOW YOU'RE HUNGRY FOR HOT DOGS. YOU WANT HOT DOGS. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU LIKE TO EAT. ONE MIGHT PATRONIZE COMET DOG IN CAPITOL HILL -- SEATTLE'S OWN SHINING BRAND OF TUBE-SHAPED MEAT. (man) ONE DOG -- CREAM CHEESE, ONIONS COMING UP! A SEATTLE-STYLE HOT DOG IS A HOT DOG, OR ANY SORT OF SAUSAGE DEVICE, WITH CREAM CHEESE. YOU CAN ADD ANYTHING ELSE TO IT, BUT THE ADDITION OF CREAM CHEESE MAKES IT A SEATTLE-STYLE HOT DOG. SEATTLE-STYLE ANYTHING, FOR SOME WEIRD REASON, IS ALWAYS CREAM CHEESE. I DON'T GET IT. I THINK IT SHOULD BE SALMON. CREAM CHEESE, MELTED ONIONS, AND SRIRACHA SAUCE. THAT'S KILLER. YOU'RE DRINKING HARD AND SWEATING AND SEEING ROCK SHOWS, YOU NEED TO HAVE A HOT DOG AFTERWARDS. THERE YOU ARE. YOU'RE WELCOME. IT'S DELICIOUS. MORNING AT THE EDGEWATER. A LITTLE BREAKFAST AND TIME TO SETTLE ONE OF ROCK'S ENDURING QUESTIONS. NOW, DID IT HAPPEN OR DIDN'T IT? SORT OF AN EPIC MOMENT THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE HAPPENED FROM ROCK 'N' ROLL HISTORY. I'M, OF COURSE, REFERRING TO THE INFAMOUS MUD SHARK INCIDENT. THE SHARK EPISODE IS ALLEGED TO HAVE INVOLVED SOME TYPE OF *** ACT WITH A FISH. ACCORDING TO "THE HAMMER OF THE GODS," THE DEFINITIVE LED ZEPPELIN BIOGRAPHY, PIECES OF SHARK STUFFED INTO THE (bleep) AND (bleep) OF A SEMI-WILLING, STRAPPED-TO-BED GROUPIE. WAS VANILLA FUDGE INVOLVED? WAS SOMEBODY (bleep) WITH AN ENTIRE MUD SHARK OR PARTS? I DON'T KNOW WHAT CRIMINAL STATUTES ARE ON THIS SORT OF INCIDENT, BUT I FROWN ON IT. ANYWAY, IT'S A DARK EPISODE -- A LEGENDARILY DARK EPISODE, POSSIBLY APOCRYPHAL, BUT GIVEN LED ZEPPELIN'S REPUTATION AT THE TIME, GENERALLY ACCEPTED TO BE TRUE. ANYWAY, WHERE'S MY (bleep) BREAKFAST? IF I WERE NOT DEEP INTO MY RESEARCH ON THIS LEGENDARY TALE OF PISCATORIAL GENITAL CONTACT, I MIGHT HAVE GONE TO TILIKUM PLACE CAFé FOR MY BREAKFAST OVER IN BELLTOWN. THEY GOT A FAMOUS SEATTLE BREAKFAST THERE CALLED A DUTCH BABY. A CROSS BETWEEN A PANCAKE AND A SOUFFLE, IT'S CRISPY ON THE OUTSIDE AND DENSE AND EGGY ON THE INSIDE. SERVED USUALLY WITH A LITTLE BIT OF VANILLA, SOME SUGAR, AND CINNAMON. AND THEY DO A VERSION WITH CHORIZO. BUT NOT TODAY. I'M ABOUT TO TUCK INTO SOME SEATTLE SMOKED SALMON. WE'RE NOT EATING AT SALUMI, ARE WE, THIS TRIP? UNFORTUNATE. 'CAUSE THAT'S REALLY A STATION OF THE CROSS FOR ME. ACTUALLY, IT'S A PLACE YOU WANT TO GO, A PLACE YOU MUST GO. IF YOU WERE TO WAIT ON LINE FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF ANYWHERE IN THIS WORLD, YOU'D WANT TO DO IT AT SALUMI. USE THAT TIME TO DECIDE BETWEEN PORCHETTA, MEATBALL, OR LOCAL FAVORITE FINOCCHIONA, WHICH IS LIKE SALAMI WITH FENNEL AND BLACK PEPPER WITH PROVOLONE ON CRUSTY CIABATTA -- THE BEST. BUT COME EARLY BECAUSE THEY SELL OUT ALWAYS. ALL RIGHT, WELL, I THINK WE'VE LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY. ACTUALLY, WE HAVEN'T. WE REALLY HAVEN'T CLOSED IN ON -- WE KNOW NOTHING MORE TODAY. IT'S AN INCIDENT THAT SHALL REMAIN SHROUDED IN MYSTERY. WHAT MOVIES ARE IN SEATTLE? "OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN." "HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS." "SINGLES." IT'S, LIKE, MY FAVORITE MOVIE. "10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU." (laughs) WHAT WAS THE ONE WITH THE GUYS WITH SUPER POWERS AND THEY COULD DO WHATEVER THEY WANTED? THAT WAS COOL. AND THEY WERE, LIKE, BLOWING STUFF UP? "THE DEPARTED." THEY KEPT BLOWING THE SPACE NEEDLE UP. (Bourdain) I HATE THE SPACE NEEDLE. I THINK IT'S AN UGLY PIECE OF ARCHITECTURE. IT SERVES NO PURPOSE AT ALL. IT'S A BEAUTIFUL CITY. I THINK IT'S A BLIGHT ON THE CITY. (Bourdain) AND THIS THING, TOO -- THE E.M.P. THOUGH IT'S CONSIDERED AN ARCHITECTURAL MASTERPIECE, BUILT BY LEONID MAGMA IN 1979. THE SITE OF A SERIES OF MURDERS. IS THERE A ROCK-'N'-ROLL MUSEUM? REALLY? OH, MAN, THAT'S (bleep) DEPRESSING. (British accent) BECAUSE ROCK 'N' ROLL DOESN'T BELONG IN MUSEUMS, MAN. IF I WEREN'T STUCK IN THIS PART OF TOWN, I MIGHT HEAD TO PASEO UP IN BALLARD. JUST ACROSS THE BRIDGE IS PASEO, WHICH IS THE GREATEST SANDWICH IN THE WORLD. LIKELY. THE SANDWICH WITH THE CULT FOLLOWING IS THE CUBAN ROAST. SLOW-COOKED PORK SHOULDER PILED ONTO A SPLIT BAGUETTE WITH AIOLI, CILANTRO, PICKLED JALAPEÑOS, CARAMELIZED ONIONS, AND ROMAINE LETTUCE. (speaks Spanish) LUNCH AND DINNER, THE LOCALS LINE UP FOR CARIBBEAN SANDWICHES, LIKE ONION OBSESSION AND SAUTéED BLACK TIGER PRAWNS WITH GARLIC TAPENADE. EVIDENTLY, THESE SANDWICHES ARE PRETTY ADDICTIVE. THERE'S A GUY WHO HAS A TATTOO OF A PASEO SANDWICH ON HIS STOMACH. AND NOW FOR A LITTLE ADULT EDU-TAINMENT IN HISTORIC PIONEER SQUARE. WHO WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT *** AND DRUGS AND DRINKING AND SEX?! THAT'S MORE LIKE IT! *** AND DRUGS?! TRAVEL CHANNEL'S GREAT! (laughs) UNDERWORLD TOUR EXPLORES THE SEEDY UNDERBELLY OF SEATTLE HISTORY DATING BACK TO 1851. THIS PARTICULAR AREA THAT WE'RE IN ACTUALLY USED TO BE A BIG HAVEN FOR GAY PROSTITUTION. THE BUSINESS OWNERS -- THEY GOT KIND OF PISSED 'CAUSE THE GAY PROSTITUTES WERE ALWAYS SCARING AWAY THEIR CUSTOMERS. SO FINALLY, THEY JUST INSTALLED THE LITTLE SPIKES ON THERE. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT -- WHEN YOU'RE TAKING IT UP THE (bleep) ALL NIGHT, A LITTLE PRICK LIKE THAT ISN'T GONNA MAKE A BIT OF DIFFERENCE. I'M JUST SAYING. THEY'RE NOT PIGEONS! THEY'RE (bleep) PROFESSIONALS! YEAH, HERE WE GO, GUYS. FOLLOW MY LEAD. WE LITERALLY GO UNDERNEATH THE CITY SIDEWALKS TO LEARN ABOUT SEATTLE'S FOUNDING FATHERS AND WHATEVER VENEREAL DISEASES THEY MIGHT HAVE HAD. WE'LL MEET THREE CRAZY CHARACTERS WHO GOT THE TOWN STARTED -- ARTHUR DENNY FROM CHERRY GROVE, ILLINOIS. HE DIDN'T DRINK, HE DIDN'T SMOKE, HE DIDN'T SWEAR. HE WAS A TOTAL BUZZKILL. FORTUNATELY, WE GOT THE SECOND GUY -- DOC MAYNARD -- A MEDICAL DOCTOR FROM CLEVELAND, OHIO. HE WAS VERY POPULAR, TOO, BECAUSE HE PRESCRIBED LAUDANUM FOR ALMOST ALL OF HIS PATIENTS. WHAT'S THIS GUY'S NAME AGAIN? DOC MAYNARD. THAT'S A NAME YOU SHOULD KNOW. (laughter) YES. IT'S A (bleep) GOOD TIME. THAT'S WHAT IT IS. IT'S *** AND ALCOHOL MIXED TOGETHER. BEFORE REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS, THOSE WERE THE TWO GREAT TASTES THAT TASTED GREAT TOGETHER. IF YOU HAVE LESS TIME AND ARE LOOKING FOR A MORE COMPRESSED EXPERIENCE, THE MARKET THEATER GUM WALL IS A LOCAL LANDMARK IN DOWNTOWN SEATTLE. IT'S A BRICK ALLEYWAY NOW COVERED IN USED CHEWING GUM. IT'S THE WORLD'S SECOND-MOST-UNHYGIENIC TOURIST ATTRACTION. BACK UNDERGROUND WE LEARN THAT THEY HAD THE USUAL PROBLEMS IN EARLY SEATTLE -- EXPLODING TOILETS, (bleep) IN THE STREETS. AND ESSENTIALLY, IT BECAME JUST SO FULLY PACKED WITH (bleep) THAT, LIKE A CAT COVERING ITS OWN WASTE, SEATTLE INSTITUTIONALLY DECIDED, "WE'LL JUST BUILD OVER IT. WE'LL JUST COVER IT UP AND MOVE ON." BASICALLY, YEAH. CRIME... ONE MINUTE, YOU'RE HAVING A DRINK. THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THEY'RE SLIDING DOWN THE PROVERBIAL POOP SHOOT. AND WHAT'S A RED-LIGHT DISTRICT WITHOUT A HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION? SO, I MEAN, IF I UNDERSTAND THE HISTORY OF SEATTLE -- I MEAN, LARGE NUMBERS OF PEOPLE COMING IN FOR RELATIVELY SHORT PERIODS AND LOOKING FOR HOOKERS AND DRUGS AND LIQUOR. YEP, EXACTLY. IT WAS THE FRONTIER. THIS IS THE ORIGINAL, LIKE, SORT OF, VICE CITY. THIS WAS WHERE YOU SPENT YOUR MONEY. EXACTLY. THEY CALLED IT MINING THE MINERS. AND SO THAT'S HOW WE BECAME THE BIG BOOMTOWN DURING THE GOLD-RUSH ERA. IT WASN'T REALLY A MANUFACTURING TOWN. IF YOU HAD A PRINCIPAL EXPORT, IT WAS PROBABLY, LIKE, SYPHILIS. (laughing) YEAH. (laughter) I FEEL LIKE THIS IS, LIKE, THE LAST FRONTIER. IT KIND OF SHOWS THE STORY OF ALL OF AMERICA. IN A WAY, IT'S THE LAST FRONTIER BEFORE YOU GET TO ALASKA, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? THIS IS WHERE LEWIS AND CLARK ENDED THEIR JOURNEY. LET'S SEE WHAT HIGHLIGHTS AND ACTIVITIES SEATTLE MIGHT OFFER. HERE IT IS -- MY HANDY-DANDY TRAVEL GUIDE. "IN 2005, KENNETH PINYAN FROM SEATTLE, WASHINGTON, "DIED OF ACUTE PERITONITIS AFTER RECEIVING "INAPPROPRIATE INTERCOURSE FROM A STALLION. "THE CASE LED TO THE CRIMINALIZATION OF *** IN WASHINGTON STATE." REALLY? ONLY IN 2005? THAT'S REMARKABLE. "IN 2004, A MAN FROM KING'S COUNTY "IN THE SEATTLE AREA DIED AFTER A LAVA LAMP EXPLODED AND PIERCED HIS HEART, AS HE WAS TRYING TO HEAT IT ON A STOVE." THAT'S AWESOME. "IN SEATTLE, WOMEN WHO SIT ON MEN'S LAPS "ON BUSES OR TRAINS WITHOUT PLACING A PILLOW BETWEEN THEM FACE AN AUTOMATIC SIX-MONTH JAIL TERM." WAS THIS LAW ENACTED AFTER SOME KIND OF POPULAR OUTCRY? DID I MENTION THAT DAVE MATTHEWS IS FROM HERE? IN SPITE OF THAT, SEATTLE IS A FANTASTIC PLACE TO VISIT. IT'S A WONDERFUL CITY. LOVE IT HERE. AVOID DENNY STREET AT ALL COSTS ALL TIMES OF THE DAY. AVOID DENNY STREET. I LIKE TO AVOID THE HIGHWAY 99 VIADUCT. TRY TO AVOID THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN METRO AREA BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 4:00 AND 6:00 IF AT ALL POSSIBLE. (Bourdain) I'M HEADED SOUTH TO RAINIER VALLEY, ALLEGEDLY THE MOST DIVERSE ZIP CODE IN THE ENTIRE U.S. IN RAINIER VALLEY, THERE IS A MIX OF DIFFERENT CULTURES. CAMBODIAN, FILIPINO, WEST AFRICAN... HAITIAN FOOD, YOU WANT JAMAICAN FOOD, YOU WANT SOUL FOOD, YOU WANT CHINESE FOOD, YOU WANT VIETNAMESE FOOD. VIETNAMESE FOOD? YES. I ALWAYS WANT THAT. RAINIER BBQ -- PROBABLY THE ONLY PLACE IN SEATTLE WHERE YOU CAN GET ALLIGATOR OR RATTLESNAKE. BUT NOT ME. CHEERS, MAN, THANK YOU. INSTEAD, LOCALS TAOTRAN AND KONG-WEN ARE GONNA SHOW ME THEIR FAVORITES AT THIS SHRINE OF VIETNAMESE HOME COOKING. SO HOW LARGE IS THE VIETNAMESE COMMUNITY IN SEATTLE? IT'S ABOUT 70,000 PEOPLE IN THE GREATER SEATTLE AREA. SO IT'S A PRETTY GOOD NUMBER. YEAH, BUT THEY'RE KIND OF STRETCHED OUT. HOW MANY NON-VIETNAMESE PEOPLE FROM SEATTLE ARE CRAZY FOR VIETNAMESE FOOD? IS IT GETTING MORE AND MORE AND MORE POPULAR? YOU KNOW, THERE'S A LOT MORE TO VIETNAMESE FOOD THAN PHO. PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE FRESH, DELICATE FLAVORS OF VIETNAMESE FOOD. LIKE ONG CHOY -- HAND-SHREDDED WATER SPINACH WITH SAUTéED BEEF. TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF THIS. AND THEN POUR A LITTLE SAUCE OVER. IT'S A FISH SAUCE? YEAH, ANCHOVY SAUCE. SPICY PINEAPPLE, GARLIC, RED CHILI. VERY COOL. EVERYTHING IS VERY FRESH. IT'S GREEN, IT'S DELICIOUS. SEE, THAT'S ALL HAND-SHREDDED. WOW, REALLY? NICE KNIFE WORK. ALL RIGHT, BON APPé***. MMM! TASTY! DOWN THE STREET, YOU HAVE SOMALI FOOD. ETHIOPIAN NOT TOO FAR AWAY. MEXICAN, OF COURSE. THERE'S CHINESE FOOD. ITALIAN, TOO. BO XAO LA LOT -- WOK-SEARED BEEF SAUTéED WITH WILD BETEL LEAF. THIS IS BEEF CUBE SAUTéED IN LA LOT. HAS A WONDERFUL FLAVOR. JUST DELICIOUS. DEEP-FRIED, SEASONED QUAILS. I'LL HAVE ONE OF THOSE. OH, BEAUTIFUL. SO GOOD. IF I WASN'T ALREADY SPECTACULARLY HAPPY HERE AND UNLIKELY TO MOVE FOR ANY REASON, I MIGHT BE TEMPTED TO TRY ONE OF THESE DINNER SPOTS. LAKE HENRY'S TAIWAN IN THE INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT IS REALLY GOOD. THEY HAVE REALLY GOOD HAND-MADE NOODLES. 14th AND JEFFERSON, AND I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF IT. BUT IF YOU GO TO 14th AND JEFFERSON, YOU'LL GET THE BEST ETHIOPIAN FOOD YOU'VE EVER HAD IN YOUR LIFE. FOR TRADITIONAL THAI STREET FOOD, CHECK OUT LITTLE UNCLE IN CAPITOL HILL -- A PINT-SIZE KITCHEN RIGHT ON THE SIDEWALK, LITERALLY. LOCALS FLOCK HERE FOR CURRIED FISH FRITTERS AND KAO SOI CURRY NOODLES. ALSO POPULAR IS THE PAD KRAPOW MOO -- PORK SAUTéED WITH KRAPOW BASIL, CHILIES AND GARLIC, SERVED WITH FRIED EGG AND MIXED JASMINE RICE. BACK AT RAINIER BBQ, I'M READY FOR THE SIGNATURE DISH -- SOUR SEAFOOD SOUP. AH, THAT'S A SOUP. THE SEAFOOD SOUP IS REALLY GOOD. SHRIMP, PRAWNS, CRABMEAT. THE SOUP IS REALLY SWEET-AND-SOUR. I MEAN, IT'S DELICIOUS. THE SOUR ELEMENT COMES FROM TAMARIND, OFFSETTING THE SWEETNESS OF PINEAPPLES. THE SPONGY STALKS -- TARO STEM, WHICH HELPS SOAK UP ALL THOSE FLAVORS. WE LIKE TO SEE OURSELVES AS A MELTING POT IN NEW YORK -- THE GREAT MELTING POT. BUT TO A GREAT EXTENT, WE AREN'T. SEATTLE, I THINK, IS A PLACE WHERE A LOT OF PEOPLE ESCAPE TO. SOMETIMES IT'S A MAGICAL COMBINATION OF NATURE AND CULTURE. AND I THINK THAT'S WHY I LOVE SEATTLE. THAT'S WHY I CAME BACK TO SEATTLE. HARD TO BEAT THAT. ONE MORE STOP BEFORE I CALL IT A NIGHT -- SHORTY'S IN BELLTOWN. WHAT SHOULD I BE DRINKING? PALE ALE MANNY'S MAYBE? A PINT OF MANNY'S. AH, IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO BE HERE. A LEGENDARY SPOT THAT DRAWS ALL TYPES OF PERSONALITIES, FROM PROFESSIONAL COOKS TO HIPSTER (bleep)BAGS. SHORTY'S IS LEGENDARY. THEY HAVE A HUGE PINBALL ROOM IN THE BACK. EXCELLENT HOT DOGS AND RADICAL PINBALL MACHINES. YOU CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE ELSE IN SEATTLE. I REALLY LOVE THE ENERGY THERE -- THE CLOWNS, KIND OF THE GRITTINESS OF IT. IT'S KIND OF THE ESSENTIAL SEATTLE GRUB SCENE. REALLY FUN AND REALLY DIRTY AND EXACTLY WHAT YOU EXPECT IN A DIVE BAR. I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT SHORTY'S IF I COULD REMEMBER ANY TIME THAT I'D EVER BEEN THERE. IF GRIT ISN'T YOUR THING, THEN THERE'S ALWAYS SUN LIQUOR OVER IN CAPITOL HILL. THERE THE DECOR IS TIKI BAR/*** DEN. THE BAR MAKES ITS OWN GIN AND ***, WHICH GOES NICELY WITH FRESH JUICE SQUEEZED TO ORDER AND APPROPRIATELY, THEY MAKE A MEAN MAI TAI. IF YOU PREFER BROWN LIQUOR, THEN CANON IS A MUST-DO. PROBABLY THE GREATEST WHISKEY AND BOURBON LIST AT LEAST ON THE WEST COAST. A SELF-PROCLAIMED WHISKEY AND BITTERS EMPORIUM, CANON STOCKS WHISKEY FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD. ONES FOR MIXED DRINKS AND OTHERS, LIKE THIS PRE-PROHIBITION-ERA WHISKEY -- VALLEY FORGE. UH... ADVENTURES WITH CUTLERY AND STRANGERS -- I DON'T KNOW. NO. PROBABLY -- OKAY. THAT'S MY CUE TO GET THE (bleep) OUT OF DODGE. THANK YOU. YOU'RE ON THE HOUSE. OH, NO, NO, NO. MAKE -- HE REALLY WANTS TO PAY. THANK YOU. CHEERS. THANK YOU. EVERYONE IN SEATTLE DRINKS COFFEE. COFFEE WAS INVENTED HERE, RIGHT? THERE IS NO CULTURE AROUND COFFEE. COFFEE IS A BEVERAGE. IT'S NOT A CULTURE. COFFEE, OF COURSE, IS A HUGE SEATTLE THING. PEOPLE TAKE IT PRETTY SERIOUSLY. A COFFEE CULTURE WOULD BE THE BONDING TOGETHER OF COFFEE-SHOP OWNERS TO THROW THESE DEADBEATS OUT IN THE STREET. THERE IS A COFFEE SHOP ON EVERY BLOCK. IT'S KIND OF A CLICHé. WHAT'S THE PROFIT ON A CUP OF COFFEE? MOVE IT ALONG, SOCK HEAD. AND WHEN TOURISTS COME INTO THE STORE, THEY ALWAYS WANT TO KNOW, "WHERE IS THE BEST COFFEE IN TOWN?" I TELL THEM THE CHEVRON UP THE STREET. (laughs) "YOU'RE WELCOME TO STAY IF YOU LIKE." NO, NO, YOU'RE NOT WELCOME TO STAY. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SHOP, HIPPIE. IT'S THAT SHOW "FRIENDS." IT REALLY RUINED COFFEE FOR EVERYBODY. I MEAN, I HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE RIGHT OVER THERE OFF CAMERA. AM I GONNA MAKE AN EVENT OUT OF IT? AND I GONNA INVITE FRIENDS OVER? "OOH, WATCH ME DRINK MY COFFEE." "OOH, PUT ON SOME DAVE MATTHEWS." NO. I LIKE TO TELL THEM ABOUT THIS LITTLE PLACE THAT NO ONE HAS EVER HEARD OF. (laughs) AND IT'S A LOCAL COMPANY WHO, I BELIEVE, MAYBE HAS A FEW STORES NATIONWIDE. YEAH. ALCOHOL IS A SOCIAL EVENT. 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A POSSIBILITY THAT YOU'RE GONNA GET DRUNK AND SAY SOMETHING MILDLY AMUSING OR FALL DOWN OR JAB YOURSELF IN THE EYE OR HAVE SEX WITH SOMEBODY ELSE AT THE TABLE. I MEAN, THERE'S A POSSIBILITY OF SOMETHING INTERESTING HAPPENING. COFFEE CULTURE! AS MUCH AS I LOVE THIS TOWN, TIME TO HEAD TO THE AIRPORT. I'M PUTTING AWAY ALL METAL OBJECTS. BELT GOES. NOTICE THE EASILY SLIPPED-ON SHOES. WHAT I'M SAYING IS DON'T BE THAT GUY. DWELL TIME -- THAT'S THE PERIOD AFTER YOU GET THROUGH SECURITY AND BEFORE YOU BOARD. I CALL IT "DEAD TIME." SPEND YOURS AT THE SEA-TAC OUTPOST OF ANTHONY'S, OR MAYBE IVAR'S FISH BAR. AT ANTHONY'S, THERE'S HALIBUT FRESH OFF THE GRILL SERVED WITH AVOCADO, MACADAMIA NUTS ON SEASONAL GREENS, OR SOCKEYE SALMON. IVAR'S BEEN MAKING AWARD-WINNING CHOWDER SINCE 1938. THEIR CLAIM TO FAME IS THE PUGET SOUND CLAM CHOWDER. BUT THE LOCAL FAVORITE IS SMOKED SALMON CHOWDER. OR GRAB SOME FISH AND CHIPS TO GO. (woman speaking indistinctly over P.A. system ) WHENEVER POSSIBLE, WALK ON ESCALATORS. THERE'S AN INDEPENDENT SPIRIT IN THIS TOWN, ALWAYS HAS BEEN -- GREAT CHEFS AND GREAT FOOD. EVERY TIME I COME HERE, IT ONLY GETS BETTER.