Crackòvia: Madridmoniadas [English subtitles]

[see description box] I've been at Real Madrid for such a long time that amazing things happen to me. For instance, with the shampoo. When I run out of shampoo, I pour a bit of water, shake the bottle... And it happens the same as Gremlins: it multiplies itself. Suddenly, I have shampoo for a couple of more days. It's magic! Sara... Sara, honey, are you listening to me? Aha. Sara, you don't pay attention to me. I pay a lot of attention to you. Good night. Night, honey. Gee! Listen... Bale is very interested in the shampoo thing. Really? And what else? Is he interested in Cristiano Ronaldo? Do they get along? - Well, the truth is... - Wait! Ready. Tell me everything you know. And articulate. Listen, Sara. Are you using me to get information for your work? Darling, that offends me. I'm just asking because I love you. I love you too. Oops! Repeat it, it hasn't been recorded. Hmmm... Olé, olé, olé, and olé. That's enough, Pilar, I'm fed up. Listen, baby. Take a picture of me with the arrow. I'm gonna congratulate Rebollo because he's lit the cauldron in Barcelona 1992 Olympics. He's an ace. I thought he wouldn't hit the target. Barcelona! Olé. Posted! There's a reply! Let's see. 'What a jerk. You're watching a rerun. It was in 1992.' Don't pay attention, baby. It's a Twitter thing. You don't even think that there were cameras in 1992, do you? - Of course! - It's impossible! Pilar, you could warn me earlier! Sara, is it sure that everything I tell you won't appear in the news? Gee! Yes, it is. This is a video tribute for your birthday. Really? Hello, this is Sara Carbonero. I'm with Los Blancos goalkeeper who'll tell us if there's tension between Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale. That's enough! You're taking advantage of me! What's the matter? Don't you wanna help me with my work? Don't you love me yet? Get out of my head! Don't manipulate me! If you want me to help you, you'll have to give me something in return. - What do you want? - Gee, Sara... It's been a long time since you and I have... Well, you know that I can only do it with you. OK... But only once. Great! I'll kick one penalty kick and then we'll go to bed. I'm ready. That's it! Come on. Baby on board! 'And the school principal scolds him in front of the teacher.' You get it, don't you? 'His friends...' Listen, baby, I've been thinking about something. Since you've been out of work for a long time, I've had some ideas for a TV program that you could host. Darling, the doctor forbade you to think. You get dizzy, you know. Keep calm, baby, I can control myself. Listen, as I wanna become a scriptwriter, I've come up with some football shows. For instance, one in which people have to demonstrate their talent to imitate Gareth. The Bale Factor! Oh, darling, I don't see myself in it. Wait, I've got more ideas. For instance, one about Pepe's game. Wild Tackles! No, that doesn't convince me. Well, I've got one for TV3 Channel. It's very good. Busquets Hunters! Gooooooal! Well done, Iker! Bravo! Enough of penalties! You pervert! We should've stayed over at Cristiano Ronaldo and his partner's place; they don't make any noise. Come here, come here. Calm down, it's all right now. Pilar, you scare me! I love you so much. Not today, you cheap rogue.