Game Program Attack! - War soldiers - Pilot

[Red:] Ba-Boom! [Blue:] Oh yeah! [Red:] *** yes! [Blue:] We're the best! [Red:] I was like "Ba-bap bap bap bap!" [Blue:] Yeh! And I was all like, "Pew pew-pew pew pew!" (Imitating gun sounds) [Red:] Heh heh. With my muscles. [Yellow:] Yeah, he must've had a "splitting" headache. Heh... right? ... From all the bullets? [Red:] He's DEAD, man. The hell is THIS ***? [Yellow:] Yeah, who said they could use crazy made-up monster things? We are going to die here. [Red:] Dude! Hold yourself together, bro! [Blue:] We can totally take him. Eat some of this, Mr. *** Mouth! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Yo dawg! My bullets ain't doin' ***! [Red:] Use your spread shot, brah. That should do somethin' or whatever. What "spreadshot?" [Red:] The one you picked up. In the armory. ***! [Yellow:] Next to the warehouse entrance? [Blue:] I thought you picked up the spreadshot. [Yellow:] Oh god! [Red:] ***, does this look like "spreadshot" to you? [Blue:] Well... ***. [Yellow:] I'll go back and get it. I think I can even see it from here! What the... you guys! I can't go back! What is happening!? [Blue:] First, giant ***-faced dragons and now witchcraft. Awesome. [Yellow:] We couldn't even afford body armor. My nipples are so cold. [Blue:] I just thought we were going for the "Shirtless Badass" look today. [Red:] Guys! We can all agree our muscles look really awesome. But in retrospect, body armor would have been a good- [Yellow:] Power crate! They DO care! They do care... [Blue:] Aw, *** yeah, bro! [Red:] What the hell, ***? [Yellow:] Hey, I saw it first, jerkface! [Blue:] Too bad, ***! I'mma get the thing, I'mma shoot the ***-face, And I'mma get all the chicks with the big, floppy, ti- [Red:] Whoa! [Blue:] Tiittiiiiiiiiiesss... [Red:] Christ ***! (Yellow vomits) [Red:] Bean? (Panic!) (Frantic breathing) [Red:] Alright, ***-face. Suck my big, metaphorical, gun-shaped diiiiiI I I I I I I I I I I I I I I - *oof* *** you power paaa- [Yellow:] Power crate... [Blue:] (gargling) [Red:] Aaaaaaah! [Yellow:] Wha- ? Did we... win? I... I did it! WHAT? No! No more! Plea-