Lost in Space S1E23 - English Transcript

[ Man Narrating ] Last week, as you recall, we left Dr. Smith contentedly painting unaware that within moments a cosmic storm of mysterious origin would threaten to destroy our tiny space colony. There. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-- Ah! I beg your pardon. Well, Penny, what do you think of it? Well, I don't know much about painting, Dr. Smith. Even a rank amateur should be able to recognize my talent as an artist. It burns through the canvas like a beacon, lighting up the depths of darkness. Well, I guess it does, if you say so. When we return to Earth, I shall place my genius on display for all to see. - I would like to express an opinion. - You have my permission. [ Gags ] - If you have a comment to make, make it. - I already have. How dare you! What does an insensitive brute like you know about art? You, who have never touched brush to canvas? Away, you cackling clod, and leave me to my work. My day of retribution will surely come. Do you see what I see? - Well, I think I do. - Whew, that's good because I was beginning to think something was wrong with my eyes. Have your fun, Major. Just remember, they also laughed at Gauguin and Matisse. Uh, pardon me. - What's it supposed to be? - You probably will not understand it but it represents the inner feelings of the sensitive man in space. - Notice the blending of the light. - Warning! Warning! Dangerous storm approaching. Advisable refuge be taken immediately. - All right, let's get inside. - What about our equipment outside? No time. Inside! - [ Wind Howling ] - Dr. Smith! - [ Yells ] - Dr. Smith! [ Yells ] My masterpiece. Let it go! Come on! - I want my painting. - [ John ] Don't be a fool. Come on! - [ Creaking ] - The tank! [ Yelling ] - Come on! - Hurry! - Don! Come on! - No. Oh! My masterpiece! [ Groans ] My masterpiece! - [ Wind Howling ] - [ Thunder Rumbling ] - Why-Why, it stopped. - It's like somebody turned it off. Well, the damage is done. Let's go outside and pick up the pieces. You children stay in here. Aren't you coming with us, Dr. Smith? Why? To look upon a world of desolation? Oh, come on. We've been through worse things than this. You've gotta learn to look on the bright side. Sure. Like you always say, Dr. Smith, "Onward and upward. " Oh, well, let us plunge once more into the fray. - That's the spirit, Dr. Smith. - Spare me your youthful optimism. My masterpiece. My masterpiece. - Here, let me give you a hand. - [ Straining ] Thanks. Oh, everything is ruined. I could just cry. - If it would help any, I'd cry with her. - John this is all of the condensation unit I could find. Great. Look, you and Judy get started on the garden right away. Until our food supply returns to normal, we're gonna have to get by on emergency water supply and high-protein pills. But we haven't very much of either, John. Well, we're just gonna have to make due with what we've got. I suppose. Judy. And you better get started on that condensation-- Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. And this is the way our world ends, not with a *** but with a whimper. Children, lunchtime. - [ Judy ] What's on the menu today, Mom? - The menu is unlimited. Um, I think I'll have a burger and fries. All right. There you are-- one burger and a fry coming up, with a milk shake to top it off. What will you have, Will? A barbecue sandwich is fine for me. All right. Fine. Here, I think you better wash it down with a little water. - Judy, what will you have? - Oh, I'm really not very hungry. I think I'll just have a protein pill and some water to wash it down. - There you are. - Not bad. A little too spicy. - Oh? - [ Penny ] The burger was delicious. That's what I'll order next time. I cannot go on this way. I simply must have some food. Stop your bellyaching, Smith. We're all in the same boat. This chemical concoction may be sufficient for you and the others but it hardly whets my appetite. That protein capsule contains more than enough nutrition for your needs. Perhaps for the average man, Major. But I burn off more energy than the average man. - Then I've got just the cure for you, Smith. - And what is that? Don't talk so much. Don't talk so much. Be my guest. Excuse me, madam. Oh, dear. [ Exhales ] Good heavens. William, I have come to the end of my strength. - Let's look a little longer. - We're just wasting time. What's that? I wonder what it means. Let's follow the arrow and find out. - Here's another one. - What? - And another one. - I wonder what this means. [ Gasps ] And another and another and another and-- Golly. - Golly! - Good heavens. - Golly! - Good heavens. - What do you think it is? - I haven't the faintest idea. [ Dogs Barking ] [ Yelling In Foreign Language ] [ Foreign Language ] Don't you speak English, sir? Ah! Ah! Oh, dear. I'm afraid we'll never be able to communicate with him. Oh, yes, you will. This is my language duplicator. It enables me to speak any tongue in the firmament. I am The Trader, at your services. How do you do? I'm Dr. Zachary Smith from the planet Earth. And this is Mr. Will Robinson. I am very delighted indeed to meet you. From the planet Earth? My, you are a long way from home. - We are indeed. - Where do you come from, Mr. Trader? Me? Why, I am from everywhere. A citizen of the whole galaxy. That's what I am. I was beginning to think that I was all alone here. Now, if there are two things that a trader loves, it is good company and good business. Well, we can certainly supply the good company. [ Laughs ] I am sure you can. What business are you in, Mr. Trader? Come into my store, and I will show you. Uh, sir, sir-- [ Dog Barking ] - [ Foreign Language ] - [ Whimpers ] You are perfectly safe now. - Are you sure? - [ Scoffs ] They're perfectly trained. And they have the most magnificent pedigrees. They are raised on the planet Zoldee. I traded a molecular assembular for them and considered it a cheap price to pay. Come on. Come on. Let's have a look here. You sure have a lot of things to sell, sir. Well, in these days, one must be well-supplied with merchandise. Quality and quantity, the secret of success in business. - What do these do? - Ah, truly marvelous invention! - From the planet Deo. - Oh? Press the button, Dr. Smith. See what happens. [ Laughing ] Where'd he go? Our friend-- Our friend is still present, but we just can't see him. - [ Laughing ] Dr. Smith! - I'm here. If you wish to return, just squeeze the molecular sphere again. [ Gasps ] Good heavens. It's a very popular gadget with children. They play a game called, um, hide-and-seek with it. - What's this do? - Ah, that. Now, that is to control the weather. It makes the climate warm in winter and cool in summer. [ Yells ] Please don't touch that. You might raise a storm. Too bad we didn't have it earlier today. We could have diverted that frightful storm. Oh, how unfortunate. - Perhaps you'd like to trade me something for it? - Well, uh-- No, thanks. It's too late now. The damage is already done. - Ah, yes. So it is. - Dear sir what we really need is food. Oh, why didn't you say so before? My spaceship is practically overflowing with delicacies. I have the most succulent steaks in my preservation unit. - Oh! - The most tender vegetables. - Stop. I can't stand it. - The sweet melons. - Melons? - The pastries. - Candies covered in rich chocolate. - Oh, pain. The pain. [ Laughing ] And they can be all yours, my friend. Sounds great, Mr. Trader. But what would you want for these things? You have a spaceship full of articles. Surely we can find something to bargain with. - How did you know we had a spaceship? - [ Stammering ] Well, I, uh-- I assumed that you came here the same way as I did myself. Gentlemen, let's get down to basics-- food. When can we do business, Mr. Trader? At your earliest convenience, my dear sir. Why don't you go back to the other members of your party? Discuss the matter with them. I will join you presently very soon. Make it very, very soon, sir. Come along, Will. I can see that you are going to be one of my best customers, Dr. Smith. And don't forget, sir, I'll be waiting for you. Come along. [ Dog Barking ] [ Chuckling ] You are mistaken, Dr. Smith. You are not waiting for me. [ Exhales ] I am waiting for you. - What, may I ask, is that? - Mom and I found a new recipe. Hamburgers made from dehydrated green beans. - You might try it. You'll love it. - Oh, sadness. Oh, sorrow. Zachary Smith, gourmet Epicurean, reduced to a meal of fodder. - What do you expect, Smith, pheasant under glass? - Would that it were. You seem to be the only one that's complaining. And with good reason. If you'd listen to me we wouldn't have to be forcing down this substandard food for survival. - We would have plenty of proper victuals. - Yes, I know. - We could be living off the fat of The Trader. - Precisely. Oh, now, Dr. Smith, we have already discussed this and come to a decision. Come on now, please. Sit down and eat your dinner. We can get along without making any deals with The Trader. Sure. There are more important things in life than just food. The ignorance of that remark is excusable only because of your extreme youth. Good food is one of the important joys of living. [ The Trader ] Well said, Dr. Smith. The Trader, at your service. - Please don't rise, sir. - It's a pleasure to meet you. I appear to have arrived at an inopportune moment. You are eating. That is a matter of opinion. Fortunately, I have everything you could possibly need to replenish your larder, madam. I know. Dr. Smith has told us. Then let me show you a sample of my wares. - [ Gasps ] Oh. - [ The Trader Chuckling ] Now, if you will make a list of your needs, we can get down to business. We can get to that later, sir. First, let's discuss this magnificent bird. Very well. What am I offered for it? Come, come. There's no need to be shy. Would you give that laser pistol of yours in exchange for the turkey, young man? - No deal. - Ah, pity. I was offering you a bargain. Looks like a kind of primitive weapon but I could probably have got rid of it somewhere as a curiosity. I have an idea, Mr. Trader. I know we can come to some sort of agreement about this beautiful bird. But, meanwhile, a full stomach makes for a happy disposition. Let's eat it first and discuss it later. Dr. Smith, you must realize that as a businessman I cannot deal in promises of payment. Now, Mr. Robinson, can we not-- [ Chuckles ] as they say, talk turkey? I'm afraid not. Not today. Or for that matter, not tomorrow either. Such a pity. I-I understood that you were short on food and water. We are. But we'll get by until our garden's fully grown. - Surely we can at least discuss the matter! - It's no deal, Smith. When we get our new water conversion unit built, we won't need anyone's help. I see. Well, that's capital. Then, if my services are not required, I will leave you. And if you should require anything, I will be at my store. - Oh! - [ Sighs ] Well, let's finish our dinner. The turkey was probably tough anyway. There are no tough turkeys, madam. Some are just less tender than others. So, they won't do business with me. Well, my little storm will take care of that. If there's no market, make one. The old law of supply and demand. [ Chuckles ] Now. [ Whirring ] [ Lightning Crashing ] And now they'll have to come to me. First, I'll give them a little food, just enough to whet their appetites. Then a little bit more. And finally they'll trade me what I want-- an Earthling. [ Laughing ] How generous you are, dear child, to contribute to the cause. Now remember, I will do the bargaining. We want to get the most we can for our wares. - Are you sure we're doing the right thing, Dr. Smith? - Oh, absolutely. Now, come along. Now then, upsy-daisy. Let's see what we have here. Ooh, what a pretty little box. My goodness. It's full of fun, this. [ Chuckles ] # La, da, dee-dee ## Yes, yes, indeed. It's heavenly. Yes, it's, uh, it's very nice indeed. - Very nice. - Now then, sir, what will you give us for this article? Uh, don't be hasty, Dr. Smith. Hasty decisions lead us into error. But there's nothing to think about. This is a simple business transaction. Perhaps. But, tell me, who is the owner of this pretty thing? It belongs to Penny. But I'm handling the negotiations for her. - Ohh. - Now then, sir, what do you offer? - Absolutely nothing. - Nothing? It is not my habit to trade with children. Utterly against my policy. That's perfectly ridiculous. I've never heard of such a thing. Nevertheless, that is my policy. I find that children do not know what they want. What they care for today, they have no interest in tomorrow. I won't change my mind, Mr. Trader. I know you won't, my dear. But that is how I do business. Here, look. The flavor is peppermint today. Strawberry tomorrow, and then orange and then lemon. And then after that, a hundred different flavors for a long, long time. You mean, this will last forever? Only as long as you remain young in heart. Oh, thank you. Now go along and have a good time. - Oh, are you coming along, Dr. Smith? - Not for a little while. The doctor and I have things to talk over. Bye. Well, sir, since you're being so generous I think I'll take one for myself. Well, I should be careful, Dr. Smith. It's a long time since you were young at heart. - Indeed? - I would put it back if I were you. - Why? Do you object? - Oh, no. Not I. But they do. [ Barking Ferociously ] They know that you took something from me. And they think that you're a thief. Well, I'll put it back. - There. Now everyone is happy. - [ Barking Stops ] Mr. Trader you're a cold, cruel man. Those brutes would've torn me to pieces, and you wouldn't have lifted a finger. My dear Dr. Smith, in this store, the customer is not always right. Many of our shopkeepers on Earth operate on the same theory. - No, really? - Yes. Now sir, you had something to talk to me about. Yes. You know, Doctor I believe we could do business. My dear sir, nothing would please me more. However, I'm afraid you'll have to find some way of extending me some credit. As you know, I have nothing to trade. Oh. Yes, of course. What about the, uh, Robot? Oh, no. Oh, no, I couldn't do that. Oh, no, I couldn't do that. I just couldn't. You see, the Robot is my friend. Even more, he's like a brother to me. Yes, of course. I do understand how you feel, Doctor. It's a pity. I could've given you an excellent trade. Mind you, the, uh, machine is a little bit primitive but I do have a customer who goes for that kind of antique. Perhaps, uh, you'd be interested in something else. We have a wonderful vehicle called the Chariot. - Oh, no. I don't think so. - No. Well, then perhaps a radar-controlled weather station? [ Sighs ] No. No. Only the Robot. - That's the only thing I'm really interested in. - Uh-- I-If you could manage to trade that machine I'd give you all the food you could possibly eat. - For how long? - A week. - Make it two. - Ten days. - Twelve? - Done. [ Both Laughing ] You're a shrewd trader, Dr. Smith. Yes, sir. A natural instinct. I have an ancestor who had quite a reputation as a horse trader. But he suffered a severe business reversal. Jealous rivals accused him of stocking stolen merchandise. - Utterly ridiculous, of course. - Yes. How unfortunate. What happened to him? Well, he-- I think I'll tell you the story some other time. And now, sir. I'd best go back to the camp and round up the Robot. - Uh, Doctor. - Yes? - This is yours, I think. - Ah, yes. You're quite sure that you'll have no difficulty in persuading him to come with you? None whatsoever. The Robot trusts me implicitly. Oh, yes. Like a brother, eh? [ Laughs ] It's been a real pleasure to do business with you. - The feeling is mutual, sir. Good day to you. - Good day. - Oh, dear. - It's all right. He knows you now. - Does he indeed? - Yes. Good-bye. Yes. Come on, my pet. Come on. Imagine that, he loves the Robot like a brother. And yet, he was prepared to trade him for a little bit of food. It would seem that I have found my Earthling-- Dr. Smith. Lovely night. It would appear that you and I are the only ones awake. I just couldn't sleep. - You're probably suffering a guilty conscience. - What do you mean by that remark? I'm referring to our last conversation when you insulted me. Oh, good heavens. You know I didn't mean that. Ahh, it's a lovely night. I think I'll take a little walk. - Would you like to go with me? - No, thank you. The exercise will do us both good. You're getting a little roly-poly standing around so much, you know? - I prefer to remain here. - You always liked walking before. I still do. But I'm particular of the company that I keep. - You insulted me. - I told you to forget it. My memory banks retain the information. You must apologize. All right. All right. I apologize. Now can we take our little walk? Yes, it is a lovely night for a stroll. It is indeed. After you, my dear friend. Robot, where are you? ## [ Singing In Foreign Language ] Ahh, how are you, young Mr. Robinson? What can I do for you today? - Have you seen our Robot? - Eh? Well, uh-- - I've been looking all over for you. - I am here. As you can see, I am unable to leave. - What are you doing with our Robot? - You are mistaken, young man. This machine is mine. Can't you see on the notice? It is for sale. He's not yours. How did you get him? Dr. Smith and I did a trade. I don't believe you. It's not true, is it? Yes, it is true. I have been betrayed. We'll get him back-- just you wait and see. Everything I have is for sale, young man. All you have to do is to pay the price. Don't worry, Dad will take care of this. I hope so. I am unhappy here-- I would sooner you did not speak to my Robot. - You are wasting his power pack. - I'll be back. I just can't believe that he'd do such a terrible thing. We'll be able to get the Robot back, won't we, Dad? You know our situation, Will. Everything we have is essential. There's not one item that we can afford to swap for that Robot. - Here comes Smith now. - I never want to speak to Dr. Smith again. That goes double for me too. Take a look at this. - [ Maureen ] What? - What's up? I thought Smith was putting on weight. The Trader's been supplying him with all kinds of goodies. What are we going to do about him? Afraid there isn't much we can do. We may not like it, but we're stuck with him. That's true. But at least we can have as little to do with him as possible. Sorry, I missed din-- I was out hunting for the Robot. I don't suppose any of you found him? What's the matter with the dear lady? Did you have a tiff? Will somebody please tell me what is going on here? Everyone leaving the room. I'm not contagious, you know. William, what is the matter? If there is something wrong, please tell me what it is. You traded the Robot, you-you Benedict Arnold. Will? Will, can I talk to you? Oh, please, Will. All right. But make it quick. I just wanted to say that I regret deeply what has happened. A lot of good that's gonna do. Will it get the Robot back? My need for food got the better of my good judgment. - I just couldn't help myself. - Sure, I understand. - It was just too tough for you. - Please, Will. - Nobody wants to talk with me. - Can you blame them? I made a mistake. I'm terribly sorry about it. - If there's anything I can do. - Get the Robot back. Would that make us friends again? Well, it would help. Then I'll do it. The very first thing in the morning I will go to The Trader and make-- - some sort of a deal with him. - Do it now. If you really meant what you said, you wouldn't wait until morning. Very well. I'll get our Robot back immediately. - How does that sound to you? - Sounds great, Dr. Smith, if you do it. - Friends again? - When you get the Robot back. All right. I'm off to see The Trader. Oh, dear. I'm going to have to do some very fast and fancy negotiating with him. But I'll do it. [ Dog Barking ] - Ah, yes, uh, good morning. - [ Barking Continues ] You'll be pleased to hear that I've come to take you home. Bah! Well, have you nothing to say, you ingrate? Ah, yes, your power pack's been removed. Ah, my favorite customer. [ Chuckles ] What can I do for you this morning? I would like to talk to you, sir, about this broken-down old Robot. - I want it back. - Well, as you know, everything I have is for sale. What would you like to give me in exchange for him? At the moment, nothing. But I thought perhaps we could work out some sort of, uh, a credit arrangement? It's a common procedure on Earth, you know. Buy now, pay later. Hmm. Sounds like a bad way to run a business. I thought perhaps you might make an exception to your rule, due to the circumstances. You see, sir, I made a terrible mistake when I traded you the Robot. He's more than just a machine to me. - He's my friend. - Ohh. Believe me, I do understand your problem, but-- I'll pay you back sometime. You have my word on that, sir. Yes, I wish I could help you. I realize the difficulty, but-- Is there nothing that you can offer in exchange? All I have is what you see before you, Mr. Trader. You mean-- Oh, no. Oh, that'd be quite against my p-- I mean, what would The Trader's Association say if they ever heard? - I'd be in real trouble. - What is it? Surely you can work something out. Weren't you suggesting that you should trade yourself? Myself? Good heavens! You must be joking. Now don't worry. Don't get excited, Dr. Smith. Of course I didn't mean that you should trade yourself right away. I mean, not swap yourself immediately. Good heavens, no. Sometime in the future, say, 200 years from now. Two hundred years? - Yes. - Well, now that's not so bad, is it? Course it's quite ridiculous. I-I'd never be able to collect. But, well, a businessman has to show a loss on his book sometime, doesn't he? Well, Mr. Trader, you are a real gentleman. - May I shake your hand, sir? - Then you agree? - Oh, I certainly do. - Yes, splendid. Splendid. - Well, I'll get the contract. - Y-- What contract? Well, it's a mere formality. After all, I have to have something to show a record. You know how these-these income tax people are. Oh-ho, yes. Indeed I do, sir. I'm quite familiar with that, I do say. Indeed I do. There you are, Dr. Smith. Put your hand there. Now take your hand away. - Wh-- - [ Chuckling ] Here is the Robot's power pack. - Thank you. - He's all yours now. Yes, well, I'm in your debt, sir. My pleasure. [ Groans ] Oh, at last. I'll attend to you when we get home, you wretch! Signed, sealed and I shall take delivery very soon. Ooh, lovely. Now pass it this time, you goose. - [ Both Laughing ] - Gently, gently, gently. - This is fun. Whoo! - [ Girls ] Oh! I'll get it. Ah, Dr. Smith. Playing a game of catch, I see. Yes. Just doing a bit of exercise. Well, it's very important to me that you should remain in good physical condition. I happened to be in the area, so I thought I'd drop by and say good-bye. Are you leaving? Yes, there is an important trade fair being held on the planet Tauron. - I must attend. - Well, have a pleasant trip. Perhaps we'll see you again sometime. Oh, you're going to see a great deal of me, Dr. Smith. - You are going with me. - What? Yes, I've decided to exercise the contract I have with you immediately. Well, I thought your contract with Dr. Smith wasn't effective for another 200 years. That's what you said. I remember every word distinctly. A verbal agreement isn't binding, Dr. Smith. You should have read the small print in the contract you signed with me. You tricked me. You said you wouldn't collect for 200 years. Now or later, what does it matter? You owe a debt, and it must be paid. Well, supposing Dr. Smith refuses to pay? Just how do you intend to collect? - There are ways. - But Dr. Smith is a human being. You just can't buy and sell him. Why not? He is an item, a commodity like anything else in my fare. - I won't go with you, and you can't make me. - We shall see. Well, I expect that you want to say good-bye to your friends. I'll call back for you later. Oh, a word of warning before I leave. I have no quarrel with anybody here. My business concerns Dr. Smith alone. But, if you should involve yourselves-- [ Sighs ] I shall have no alternative but to destroy you. Good-bye for now. Dr. Smith? - Dr. Smith. - [ Yells ] Halt! Halt! Are you all right? I was until you very nearly scared me half to death. What are you doing out here anyway? I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd spend some time with you. Oh, how very kind of you. [ Sighs ] I'm feeling a trifle hungry. Fetch me my lunch box, would you? Let's have a little midnight snack, shall we? If it hadn't been for food, you wouldn't be in this mess. - Food had nothing to do with it. - [ Dogs Barking ] - Did you hear that? - Yes, indeed. I did. And I wish I hadn't. - Put down that weapon. - Don't you come any closer or he'll fire. I am ready to leave, Dr. Smith. You belong to me and must come with me. - You signed this contract with me, Dr. Smith-- - [ Whirring ] and I demand payment. Dr. Smith! [ Will ] Dr. Smith! Dr. Smith. Dr. Smith, come back! Oh! You have no right to do this to me, sir. - I demand that you let me go immediately! - You have no rights, Dr. Smith and can make no demands. Please, sir, couldn't you just write me off as a bad investment? I intend to swap you off, Dr. Smith at the trade fair for a colossal profit. Look after him, my pets. I shall be back soon. [ Dog Barks ] [ Barks ] Psst! Psst! Dr. Smith. Come on. Come on! We've gotta get back to the Jupiter 2. We'll never make it. Those beasts will tear us apart when they catch us. - Would you rather stay here and let The Trader take you away? - Look. Come along. What are we waiting for? You fools, come here! Come here. - [ Whimpers ] - You let him get away. After him! - After him! After him! - [ Dogs Barking ] - [ Groans ] - Come on, Dr. Smith. They're getting closer! I've reached the end of the line, my boy. You better go on without me. I'll help you, sir. We can make it! Oh, no. Save yourself. You've done all you can. [ Panting ] - Dr. Smith, take off your boots. - What? What for? - What will that solve? - I can't explain now. - What are you doing? - Just do what I tell you. - [ Dogs Barking In Distance ] - My boots indeed. - This will stall them. - What? - Can you go on a little further? - No. Let The Trader take me. - No! Come on. - What? [ Groans ] - Hurry, Dr. Smith! - [ Groaning ] Oh, oh. I can't. Oh, dear. Oh! Oh, my feet are in agony. It's a lot better than having The Trader catch up to you. It's no use. I cannot go another step. - [ Mechanical Whirring ] - [ Gasps ] What was that? Oh, thank heavens. I'm saved. My dear, dear friend, how glad I am to see you. I beg your pardon, sir. I don't believe we've met. How dare you! This is no time for nonsense, you ninny. I need you to protect me from The Trader! You must have mistaken me for someone else. - I do not know you. - What! You fools, we've been tricked. But we'll find them. Come. [ John ] Will! - Will? - Here. Run! - Here we are! - Oh! - Will, where've you been? - The Trader got Dr. Smith. - I helped him escape. - We were chased for miles by his two monsters. - They're probably right behind us. - How'd The Trader get you? It's that contract I signed. It gives him some sort of strange power over me. Well, let's see how much power he's got against this. Thank you, Major. At a time like this we see our true friends. - [ Dog Barking ] - Save the soft soap for later, Smith. Here comes The Trader now. Thank you, Professor Robinson. You've got my runaway property. - Your property? - Dr. Smith has a contract with me. You tricked me! You said 200 years! As I told you before, you should have read the small print of the contract you signed, the whereases and the howsoevers. Dr. Smith is right. He was tricked. From the very first, this alien has resorted to unfair tactics. It was he who destroyed the food and water supply. - What? - Are you sure about that? There is no mistake. He has a machine which controls the weather. Hardly what I'd call an ethical business practice, Mr. Trader. I got what I wanted. That's all I'm interested in. I won't go with you. I won't! - Come along, Dr. Smith. - [ Whirring ] [ Chuckles ] Once more, gentlemen, good night and good-bye. Step aside, Smith! It seems that Dr. Smith isn't going with you after all. The contract is null and void. Oh, thank you, thank you. You are, after all, a true-blue friend. Dr. Smith will go through his original agreement with you. What? You traitor! He will be your property in 200 years. Ah. Exactly so. But don't call me, I'll call you. With or without the contract, Smith belongs to me! Fetch him, my pets! Fetch him! - I will destroy. - [ High-pitched Screeching ] Well, I don't think we'll have to worry about him again. Let's get inside. Come on, Will. Forgive me, but I must say it. This is one time, Dr. Smith you received more than you bargained for. Spare me the comedics, you deplorable dummy. Dr. Smith, look! A crown. I see it's a crown. I have eyes in my head. Question is, what is a crown doing here? William! What have I told you about handling other people's property? - But, Dr. Smith-- - But me no buts, my boy. We will respect the rights of others. No doubt the owner will shortly appear to claim his property. I wonder where it came from and who left it. That is none of our business. Oh, my. Those rubies are as large as hens' eggs. - Ah-ah-ah, Dr. Smith. - I was only checking to make certain that it was secure. If it fell over, some of that lovely workmanship might be damaged. Come along, Will. Let's get on about our truffles. - Bless me, I forgot my truffle tools. - I'll get 'em. Never mind. I'll do it. Why don't you go on ahead with the Robot - and if you find any truffles, call out loud. - Yes, sir. - Quite loud. - Okay. Ah. A world ransom in jewels. Now, what to do with it? Well.