Eddie's Concubine - Lyrics - Eddie From Ohio

Eddie is a nightclub owner, owns the northern half of the town he can't see his toes past his belly, whenever he looks down but underneath his belly is a turquoise belt drives the women wild, it makes me melt Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, you're lookin fine Eddie is my secret lover, although it's known through half of the town we wine & dine at Howard Johnson's, when the club shuts down and underneath his hairpiece is a clever mind he balances his wife and a concubine Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, I wish you were mine But all's not fair in love & war and life as Eddie's concubine I refuse to take much more below the Mason Dixon line They say for richer and for poorer but what of Eddie's concubine We gets the scraps upon the floor below the Mason Dixon line… Eddie's concubine Eddie makes his wife work afternoons & gives me the evening shifts Eddie breaks up fights at the changing of the guard whenever we have our rifts and underneath is polyknit- a heart to match it never wrinkles in the wash- he's such a catch- Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, I wish you were mine Eddie makes a pretty good living, stealing from the college bands Eddie pulls locals with the Skynyrd groups, but only serves the beer in cans Underneath his belt is a bribe for the cops He'll only hire girls if they take off their tops- Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, your wife's on the line I swear I'm walking out the door if I remain his concubine I don't think I can take much more below the Mason Dixon line But alimony keeps you poor below the Mason Dixon line We'll feast upon the fatted boar if I remain his concubine…remain his concubine Eddie (eddie) Eddie (eddie) Eddie says to lose some weight Eddie (eddie) Eddie (eddie) then he'll set a wedding date Eddie (eddie) Eddie (eddie) Eddie wrote a promissory note Eddie (eddie) Eddie (eddie) Eddie said he'd buy me a boat This boat has nothing fun on board for me, the first mate concubine For Valentine's I got an oar while he controls his fishing line I'm feeling cheated and ignored it's me I'm Eddie's concubine and Jenny Craig is such a chore to rid myself of this waist line… but I'm his concubine Eddie is a nightclub owner, a man who runs a double life He says that when he sells his business, he promises he'll leave his wife but underneath his promise, he means later than sooner he just bought his wife a 32-foot schooner Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, that should've been mine Eddie is a big fat liar, lying like a bearskin run Eddie took all his money to retire, I only got a Ziggy mug underneath my jacket is a loaded gun I think I'll just point and watch the piggy run. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, spare me your line I'm out of here I'm out the door, I'm through being his concubine I've got the Chevy four by four, and I can tow a boat just fine I'm driving East toward the shore, I'll trace the Mason Dixon line I'm no loser I'm no *** I'm through being his concubine…I'm not his concubine I'm not his concubine (She's not his concubine)