If I Had a Clone

Sometimes I have to play guitar without a drummer. Sometimes nobody will play a board game with me. And sometimes I can't find a spotter so I can practice backflips safely. Sometimes I wish I had a clone. all the same things as you. You could play awesome practical jokes on people. However there's really no way that I can have a clone that's my own age. Except...except there is one way, and I've been thinking for a long time about this, there's one way that I could have a clone. What if a lady, who didn't have any kids or a husband, went into a hospital when I was born. She walked into that weird little sci-fy-ey room where they keep all the babies, and she picked up me intending to steal me, and keep me as her own child. However as she was running with me one of the nurses looked over and stopped her. She drops me, but as she dropped me one of her nails cut into my delicate soft baby skin. She ran back home and she had a little bit of blood from me under her fingernails, so she took that blood and started to grow a little baby me. And as she raised this child of cloneness from her basement it became her own baby me. At this point you might be thinking something like, "It's really hard to get a kid like that. Why doesn't she just adopt?" Well she didn't have any credibility, so they wouldn't let her adopt children. And then you, thinking you're all smart, might ask, "Why doesn't she have any credibility?" Well let me ask you a question. Do you really think that someone who ran into a hospital and stole a baby has any credibility? But back to the story, she raised other me as her own. But other me would eventually get curious about, "Well, who's my dad?" Other me would go on an epic quest and write a book about it, and become famous as an author because of such a crazy, weird mixed up story that he wrote. But before the book stuff through a bunch of wacky turn of events he would find me, and we would hang out because, you know, we're so alike, and we look exactly the same. And then, eventually, we'd figure out that were exactly the same person. DNA lines up completely. How!? Well every saturday night me and a bunch of my friends go over to the lab, and we get DNA tests. You know it's just kind of fun matching up your DNA sequences and RNA with your friend's and seeing what matches and what doesn't. Through matching up our DNA we'd figure out that we were exactly the same. Some of my best memories with my friends are made in the DNA lab. That's a complete lie. You know, in all honesty, I would probably just annoy the crap out of myself. My twin would be really annoying 'cause I don't think I would enjoy hanging out with myself. Anyway, thanks for watching. I'm going to be real cliche with my ending here, subscribe, like, comment, follow me on Twitter. Do all that fun stuff. See Yah!