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So, first party
the new place, huh, Drama?
Don't be ignorant, E.
It's not a party, it's a get-together.
And the difference is what?
Get-together is less than
a dozen people, bro.
Don't be ignorant, 'cause
this is definitely gonna be a party.
Or simultaneous get-togethers if
it makes it easier for you to swallow.
What are you guys talking about?
We're welcoming home Vinnie Chase!
People want to come.
I thought we agreed to keep it small
a family affair.
I never signed anything.
If you want to do it at the hotel?
No no, bro,
this is your welcome-home party.
We can't do it at a hotel.
Now that I have a beautiful home,
I'd be honored to welcome you
and your party.
I just need to know how many people.
I'd have to check the evite rsvp list
Before I could accurately
respond to that.
- Calm down, baby!
- Do not tell me to calm down!
They're giving my son a hard time!
My baby boy. A mother gets protective
when that happens.
What did they say?
Did they say that he's not getting in?
They wouldn't say anything on the phone,
Just that they'd like to see us.
They're like the CIA.
Then relax.
He's getting in.
- Well, he better, Ari.
- He's a legacy!
Legacies are as sure a thing
as me having to beg for ***.
Little Jonah will be a proud member
of the Briar country day school
Just like his sister,
- fear not.
- Begging won't be enough if he isn't.
I got to go, baby.
I'll see you at the school.
Welcome Vinnie Chase home tonight.
Here's the address.
Sorry, limited space.
What? I didn't invite the dude.
- Lloyd, you miss us?
- I did, I did.
- Welcome back, boys.
- Lloyd, how are you?
- Great.
- What up, Lloyd?
Nothing, not much.
So I spent all evening
preparing a little something
for the big bash
creme brulee.
It's not a bash, Lloyd.
It's a large get-together.
Whatever it is, Drama,
Is it okay if I bring four friends?
What sort of friends?
It's fine, Lloyd. Just no public
displays of affection, all right?
Is that Vinnie Chase?
Oh my god!
Look at that!
I don't believe
usually I have to get "us weekly"
to get a look at those pretty eyes.
And I have to look at the wee
bottom, lower corner of the frame
to see the top
of this little man's head.
You look a little pudgy, Ari.
- You put on a little weight?
- You wish! Six percent body fat.
Achieve that when you're 40,
and I'll give you 100 grand.
- When'd you get in?
- Late last night.
- You coming to the welcome-home party?
- We understand if you can't make it.
I will be there. First things first.
- Do I look heavy?
- No, you look good.
- Yeah, baby!
- What?
Oh, this broad I met on myspace,
she's coming
with her sorority.
- So, Italy was good?
- It was amazing.
Leave it to E to pick
the most romantic spot on earth
- right after he gets dumped.
- We're taking a break.
Whatever. So, you planning
another vacation or you gonna step up?
Vince is planning
on going back to work.
As an actor,
or as a producer
of another jungle quagmire?
The movie that's gonna
take us to the next level,
you're writing it off as a disaster?
I am writing it off as MIA
and proceeding accordingly.
He always was so nervous.
I know is that how you keep
the pounds off? By trembling?
What do you expect? Medellin
has been delayed month after month.
You've got a director who refuses
to show a single frame to anybody.
- We're seeing it today.
- ***.
Every frame of it.
Why do you think we came back?
- And we're out of money.
- There's that.
- Are you?
- You know they charge
up to $30 for a bowl of penne?
Vince wants a job.
Tell us what you got.
- I gotta see the movie.
- Not gonna happen.
Walsh won't even let Rubinstein see it.
He understands that at some point
everyone's gonna see it, right?
At some point, everyone will.
We're seeing it today
And we're telling you he needs a job.
I'm telling you that
I need to see it.
What does one thing
have to do with the other?
- connect the *** dots.
- No one's gonna hire me
- until they've seen Medellin?
- I wouldn't say no one.
You can play jughead
in a new archies live-action.
I think I'm more of a Reggie.
Right now, no one is gonna
offer you something you want
Or give you the kind
of money that we want.
You can understand that, right?
- Actually, I can't.
- The word on the street
since day one of production
on Medellin
has not been good.
Dps and actors fired,
production delays,
unstable director.
No one wants to put
Vince's face on a poster
with the possibility of a looming
disaster hanging out there.
It's the "gigli" effect.
Okay, so what do we need?
We need for medellin to be good.
Just tell me there's not going
to be more than 75 people.
There's not gonna be
more than 75 people.
- Really?
- No, not really.
- That's what you told me to tell you.
- ***.
Why do you need baby wipes?
Just get what's on the list.
- 50 cartons?
- Please, don't question me, all right?
All right, fine fine.
It says "12 barbecued chicken wings."
You mean 1200?
No, I meant what I wrote 12.
They're for Vince.
He loves the wings at Costco,
But I'm not letting everyone else
go wild with barbecued chicken wings.
So what's everyone else
gonna eat, then?
Celery.
Read the list.
- Celery?
- Yeah, and carrots.
Look, the party's called for 9:00 pm.
That's not a dinner party.
So only Vince is gonna eat real food.
Everyone else is gonna
have nice, clean, stain-free
- celery and carrots.
- Great.
Think you guys have
enough baby wipes?
No no, it's not what it looks like
they're for a party.
You wanna come?
You like that one, huh?
- I could do a play.
- You could.
A play's not gonna
buy us a new house, though.
It'd have to be a very
successful play, I think.
Cavalry's arrived.
People, man your posts.
Prepare to do battle.
He looks good.
How are you, Billy?
Living and thriving, suit.
Living and thriving.
- What's up?
- How you doing?
Just this, nothing else up.
Come on back. I'll show
you the facilities. Come on.
Cutting the old-fashioned way, huh?
Why *** a woman with a vibrator
when you've got a ***,
- Right, suit?
- I don't know what that means,
but we're excited to see
what you've done.
Hey, everybody! You've been
looking at this guy's beautiful face
for the past three months.
Vinnie Chase.
And this is his suit,
though he don't dress the part.
Guys, my whole crew is latin
helped make this film as
absolutely authentic as it could be.
My editor, Raul, and his
assistant-slash-little-brother, Tero.
Both mexican.
Both totally legal.
My post guy is Brazilian.
The caterers are from Chile.
Every Thursday we get
that endangered sea bass flown in.
- What's she do?
- She gives ***.
seriously.
She's a streetwalker
I brought back from colombia. Good eyes.
So can we get this thing going or what?
You want to eat first?
You want something?
- I'm okay.
- We got empanadas.
- I'm all good.
- Want an empanada?
- We just ate.
- How about a tamale?
- We're all good.
- What about one of those ***?
What, does Turtle check
your balls for lipstick?
- Quit stalling.
- I'm not *** stalling.
We really want to see it, come on.
And I want you to see it, vin. I do.
Uh, it's just not ready.
It's it's not ready.
I need a little bit more time.
- What are you talking about?
- How much more time?
- 3 weeks, a month tops.
- You can't have it.
- Who says?
- I say.
- Who the *** are you?
- The guy with the *** checkbook.
We just flew from Italy,
you said it'd be ready.
I thought I was ready, man.
I thought I was,
But I watched it
this morning and I'm not.
Billy, listen,
I understand you're nervous.
But we've both seen first cuts
we know what we're looking at.
I can't.
It's just not ready.
You only get one chance
for a first impression.
All right, look, here's the deal, okay?
We see this film today or not another
dollar comes into this facility.
Not for cigarettes,
not for coffee,
Not for sea bass and
not for *** ***,
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Yeah, I do.
Raul, prepare the projector.
I'm just gonna ***
really quickly, okay?
- Was I too harsh?
- No, perfect.
Sorry, Vinnie!
Go *** yourself, suit!
Maybe you were a little harsh.
- So?
- So.
So.
- This is awkward.
- What's awkward?
We don't even know why we're here.
But we are concerned.
We're very concerned.
I mean, we know Jonah
Just had his evaluation.
But we thought it was a formality.
I mean, he's a legacy.
Well, his sister Sarah
has been a model student here
for almost eight years.
I mean, isn't a sibling
guaranteed admission?
We can never make any guarantees.
That's not what you said when
I was writing all those donation checks.
So, was there a problem
with Jonah's evaluation?
Well, he did hit a kid with a ruler.
- Yes, he told us that.
- He told us all
the kid was trying
to steal his power ranger.
And I teach my son never to let
people just take things from him.
It's my Israeli blood, okay?
You can't tell us
that he might not be able
- to go to school here because of that?
- I'm not telling you that.
- this is just a courtesy.
- A courtesy?
We want you to have time to apply
to another school, just in case.
Just in case what?
Just in case he doesn't get in.
What a smug ***.
Just sitting there with that stupid look
on her stupid *** face.
- The cursing. We're at the school.
- I'm sorry, I'm upset.
I know, it's kind of hot. I like it.
- Ari, why aren't you upset?
- She's just a secretary,
A low-level messenger.
No time to deal with that.
- What are we gonna do?
- We're gonna go to our old buddy,
Dr. Reich.
A higher level.
- What can he do?
- He is on the board of trustees, baby.
We didn't spend all those nights
at his *** piano parties for nothing.
He'll take care of it.
I think I should go with you.
- Baby, this is man's work.
- Man's work?
I am going to have to apply
a little bit of pressure.
Trust me,
you do not want to see this, all right?
Don't worry, I'm gonna handle it.
Trust me.
Damn, Drama,
this place is looking good.
Yeah, and it's gonna keep looking
that way, so take your shoes off.
You want me to take my shoes off?
Everybody's gonna be
going shoeless tonight.
So don't think your smelly feet
are getting any special attention.
There's gonna be a sign right
there that says "no shoes"
and a basket right there
to house them.
You might want to get a sign
and a basket for bras,
'cause these sorority girls,
they sound kinda freaky.
They just better be neat.
- Grab that end.
- Where's it going?
In the bedroom.
It's only two weeks old,
- I don't want anyone sitting on it.
- Are you for real?
What kind of party is this gonna be
if people don't have a place to sit?
First of all, I got sturdy folding
chairs in my storage closet.
Second, I put way more into this
place than I could possibly afford.
And I don't want my *** getting
destroyed, capisce?
Let's go.
Quit whinging, you ***.
You're boxing my cutlery after this.
You really think
that was the only print?
My spanish isn't great, but I believe
that's what the editor was saying.
So what are our options
if we don't find him?
- We get a new editor, start over.
- That could take months.
That's why we got to find him.
This is it right here.
- Hello, Kat.
- Hey, Vince.
- E.
- How are you?
Billy's ma is staying with us,
so as good as I can be.
Close the door,
there's a chill coming through.
It's 80� out.
She's always complaining.
What did you just say
about me, you little ***?
Hey, this is my house. Don't
*** talk to me that way, ***!
- *** you!
- *** you!
My god.
Man, I'm sorry.
The woman is crazy, you know?
So, what's going on with you guys?
Everything okay?
Yeah, we're looking for Billy.
Wasn't he gonna meet
you guys for the screening?
Yeah, he was. But he left
and he took the movie with him.
I don't know where he is.
Though he was a little down
when he left here this morning.
He was? We spoke to him last night,
he sounded great.
Yeah, he screened the movie
last night for me and his mother
and I think it soured him.
- You saw the movie?
- Oh yeah, a bunch of times.
Was it good?
Oh, I can't say.
- You can't say if it was good?
- I can't say anything.
Billy would kill me if I said anything,
and you know,
I'd never betray Billy that way.
So why was he so down this morning?
Because of what she said,
*** cooz.
She didn't like it.
That's him.
Hey baby, where are you?
Vince and E are, like, freaking out.
No, I didn't call them, baby.
Where are you?
Calm down.
He hung up.
He's drunk.
He said he's at the only place
where people really love him.
Any idea where that might be?
Yeah, the body shop, probably.
- Thanks, Kat.
- See you, Kat.
We'll see you later.
- Hey, Frida.
- Yeah, he's in with someone.
Oh, it's fine.
I'll tell him it's fine.
Your office said
you didn't want to see me.
I just saw you for
a cleaning last week.
- No, it's not for my teeth.
- Oh no, what then?
They've giving Jonah
a hard time over at school.
Hard time, huh?
He hit a kid with a ruler
at his evaluation.
Now they're telling me
he may not get in.
I see.
You know, you're on the board
and I need help.
I really
really can't, Ari.
What do you mean, you can't?
I can't even talk about this, Ari.
Talk abo what?
You already know something about this?
I'm with a patient.
I'm the guy that got Lindsay Lohan
to screen Mean Girls at the school
when you begged.
I'm the guy that got Lil' Bow
at your daughter's bat mitzvah.
I'm the guy that knows
you got a little ***
you keep on the wilshire corridor.
This stays here.
What are you not telling me?
Look, I got two more kids
that I got to get into school.
Being on the board alone
does not guarantee that.
You need to talk
to the headmaster about this.
About what?
Goodbye.
The ruler incident
is not your son's only problem.
- What are you talking about?
- Talk to Andrew Preston.
Please, I cannot say
anything more I am sorry
- But
- I am sorry.
Hope you had a nice nap, Turtle.
What's the problem? You look like
you got it all under control.
I gotta get rest
if we're gonna go all night.
All night?
- Let's hope so.
- Whatever.
Just get over here
and give me a hand with this.
You're taking down the light fixture?
It's a chandelier, and yes,
I don't want anyone swinging from it.
- You got it at Ikea.
- Whatever, just grab it.
Hold on, I got to take a ***.
It's the combo.
Are you *** serious?
Deadly serious, Turtle.
You are ruining this party.
By stopping 200 people
from *** on my toilet?
- I don't think I'm ruining anything.
- Who *** at a party?
Well, even just ***.
What do drunk people do?
They *** and they miss.
That's imported Italian
limestone in there.
It's porous and it's not
getting pissed on.
So where is everyone supposed to go?
Off the balcony?
Don't be retarded.
I got porta potties coming.
You do not.
I do too. In fact,
they should be here any minute.
- So why don't you hold it?
- *** that!
I'm not holding ***.
Do you remember the combo?
I will *** all over your plasma.
I swear to god.
And wash your hands thoroughly.
We got to wrap up my frette linens.
Let's just do this thing
at Vince's hotel.
Turtle, it's my baby bro's party
And I'm hosting it.
Do you really think I would
not let it be off the hook?
Now stop it.
It's gonna be perfect.
this place will be indestructible.
Why are you worried
about what his mother says?
'cause she's the only one who's seen it.
She hated Queens boulevard.
- That's true.
- So relax.
- Marvin.
- Deep breath.
It's your underappreciated
money manager, Eric.
We appreciate you, Marvin.
Then how come you don't
listen to a *** word I say?
Will you stop yelling at me?
$1200 a night on a hotel suite
Are you out of your *** mind?
Relax. It only temporary.
Temporary?
Yeah, I'll say it'semporary.
Till they throw you out on your ***!
You guys have no money!
Why do you think I told you
to get back from Italy?
- I know.
- Hey, listen.
This is not conservative Marvin talking.
This is you-are-really-
and-truly-broke Marvin talking.
Living on Vince's black card is insane.
- I know.
- So does Ari have a job?
We got to wait till we see the movie.
- Did you see it?
- We're seeing it today.
- There he is.
- When?
- Right now.
- Call me when it's over
Hey, Vince. I didn't know
you were back in town.
- Hey.
- No call?
Sorry, Mia.
- I mean, this is just silly.
- *** guy.
Well, do you think it's his reading?
I know it is.
We don't do enough of it.
- Well I try.
- A little less Grey's Anatomy,
a little more
Good Night Moon, perhaps.
- You're blaming me?
- No, I'm blaming me
who comes home with 40 scripts
a night after working a full day.
Hey, you know what?
I'll read one of those to him.
Tonight I got Saw IV. He'll love it.
Baby, don't worry.
I will save the day as usual.
Excuse me, sir. Cell phones
are not permitted on school grounds.
Let me call you back.
Andrew Preston?
- Ari gold.
- Just the man I was looking for.
Sorry about the phone
business call.
It is a Wednesday after all.
Well, what can I do for you, Mr. Gold?
I'm sorry to bother you.
It's just that I had a meeting
with your executive assistant today.
And
Look, I understand that
the evaluation for my son
didn't go as well as expected,
But I need to assure you
that my wife and I
are committed to doing whatever it takes
to bring our son up to speed.
Perhaps he is a little behind
on his reading
but I mean, hey,
he's not even six yet.
Okay? You can't really
judge him on his reading.
At six I was dyslexic. You would have
thrown me out in the cold.
Look at me now.
I'm like the poster boy for this place.
- It's not his reading.
- What is it then?
His rhyming,
his fine motor skills?
- It's none of that.
- What is it?
I can't discuss it until
the process is complete.
- You understand.
- Actually I don't.
Mr. Preston, I have spent over $200,000
in tuition over the past eight years,
another 50 or so in donations.
My wife has served on
All right, that's two less days a week
she gets to Barry's boot camp.
She sacrifices her body; obviously
a sacrifice that I make as well,
All for the good of this school.
Now, why don't you tell me what type
of new donation I have to make
to ensure that I never
have to think about
any type of limitations
you think my son has.
Look, Mr. Gold, the thing is
- $20,000.
- Mr. Gold.
- $30,000!
- Mr. Gold
It is not your son.
It is his father:
A cell phone on your ear every time
I see you walk through these halls;
A foul mouth on the soccer field
every time I see you
root for your daughter.
This school has simply decided that
your daughter has only four years left.
But if we admit your son, that means
more than a decade left with you.
Good day.
Daddy.
- Get your stuff, sweetheart.
- Everything okay, mr. Gold?
What's going on, daddy?
Nothing, you just
no longer go to school here.
What?
Don't be afraid to use a coaster, pal.
Hey ***!
There's nothing in the sub-zero.
There's no need to even open it.
*** animals.
So is it like the movies?
Where the girls make you do all sorts
of crazy things to get into a sorority?
Oh yeah. They didn't let us sleep
for 24 hours on initiation night.
No, I meant like crazy *** things.
We can sell my car.
No, it's important
to keep up appearances.
Great.
'cause I love that car.
We are all good.
We know the movie's great.
We were there.
- Yeah, we were.
- How was your day? Mine sucked
and no one called me all day.
Did you see the movie?
- I'm gonna call Walsh again.
- What?
- Is there a problem?
- Hey, shoes off, Ari!
Hey, *** you, Drama!
Hey Billy.
It's E.
Look, I'm calling for Vince.
I know you hate me, Billy.
Vince put his entire career on the line
for this movie and for you
And all of his money.
He's got none.
And he can't get a job
until people see this.
So I'm not asking anything for me,
but for Vince.
What does Vince
have to do to see this movie?
He has to be gentle, suit.
- Just calm down.
- Don't tell me to calm down.
Someone's in my bathroom and
I want to know how they got in there.
- Don't look at me.
- Don't look at you?
That's a nickel-plated master lock
With hardened steel shackles.
It's impossible to get in there
without a combo!
Maybe David Copperfield is in there.
Oh, that's funny.
She promised to show me her ***.
*** sellout.
What's the problem, Johnny?
No problem, bro.
Having the time of my life.
- You having a good time?
- Great time, great time.
- Listen, we're gonna take off.
- You leaving?
Yeah, Walsh promised
to show us the movie right now.
I don't want him to change his mind
you understand?
I understand, bro.
Have a good time.
Good luck, good luck.
- See you guys later.
- All right. See you later, buddy.
Bye-bye now.
I'll see you guys.
Bye, you guys.
Bye, bye.
Everyone!
I have an announcement to make!
Get the *** out.
No, I'm serious.
The party's over. Get the *** out!
And head over to my house!
After-party
at Vinnie Chase's hotel room!
No words necessary.
Roll it, Raul.
Enjoy.
I'll be throwing up in the alley.
I mean, a person
is only as good as their word.
I mean, without that
we'd just be animals.
Fine.
You happy?
Sadly, I'm very happy.
Anybody seen Drama?
Excuse me, excuse me.
Get out of the way.
picture.
It's a little something
Someone did something
really horrible in the bathroom.
What do you want me to do about it, bro?
Hey, Lloyd, nice sweater, baby.
- What's up, Drama?
- How are you, pal?
Good, man.
Honey, hold this.
Hysterical.
Please say something.
Ah I'm blown away, Billy.
Oh you!
Suit?
- Great job, Billy.
- God, you little!
So we're on the same page, right?
- You were just being nice to Billy.
- What do you mean?
You didn't really
like the movie, did you?
I thought it was amazing.
You didn't?
I thought it sucked.
- Really?
- Really.
Hey, what's up, Turtle?
Great, no,
that's *** awesome.
- What happened?
- They had an after-party at the hotel.
Anthony Michael hall pissed off
the balcony, we got thrown out.
- Nice.
- So what do you want to do?
We'll crash at Johnny's tonight.
So you really didn't like it?
I really didn't.