Da Mouth - Small eyes competition - 40 vs. huai qiu

Start. Ready? Hello everyone, we are... S.H.E.! I am S: Sakamoto! I am H: Hello! I'M H! I'm Harry! Then I am E: Esabelle! Enough. This isn't even plugged in, don't take me for an idiot. We are Da Mouth. Lemme tell you what we're doing today. Today is the ultimate stage of the Small Eyes Competition. We've said that we'll film this to prove its fairness. So today we prepared the showdown of the century between the two of us. And also one unbiased ruler. Now we'll go straight to the measurement with the ruler. How are we measuring it? There's a difference between top-bottom and left-right. So we'll see whose eye is wider from top to bottom. And whose is longer from left to right. -If there's a winner... -We'll discuss that later. We'll measure first. Perhaps after all...it's quite clear who wins, right? So the person with the smaller eyes will receive a punishment. Okay? Got it? -Let's do this. -What's the punishment? What's the punishment? The punishment is... -Okay, I got it. -This is the important part. Yes, the punishment. The punishment is the person has to do... A headstand. Up against the wall. -So the loser... -No, cuz it's just gonna be you and me anyways. These two won't have to do it right? But you probably won't have enough room here. No, no. It's okay, we can do it. Or we'll go to another room later. Do a headstand for 10 minutes. -10 MINUTES?! -Okay? Is that good? Can I just forfeit? Fine, 10 seconds, a headstand. -I got it. -10 seconds is still really long! Do a headstand for 10 seconds while singing the chorus of "The King & Queen." With a zoomed-in shot of the face. Yeah, with the whole face red and swollen, that's gold. Everyone, with the punishment agreed upon, let's get started right away. I think we should punish the winner. -Punish the winner. -We're punishing the loser. Who the hell punishes the winner?! Punishment for eyes being too big. The winner gets a prize, okay? Also, the people who guessed correctly, since there's a lotta people guessing. The people who guessed correctly, we're giving them prizes too, okay? So now, enough chitchat. We've talked for long enough. Let's begin. Who goes first? You go first. Fine. You need to zoom in. Get it focused. You measure from left corner to the right. Oh I start there. So the 0 is placed... I'm relaxing my face. Relax. -Hey, it's 4 cm! -4 cm? Even a little more than 4 cm. You're a little off now. It's here right? Alright, it's about 4 cm. 4 cm, got it. 4 cm? Hey, measure his other eye too. What if they're different? Hang on, I'll write this down. 40...left to right... ...is 4 cm. You have a thing with the number 4. Top to bottom is how much then? Okay, top to bottom now. -Relax. -I am. Hey, 1 cm! 1 cm?! 1 cm?! Your proportions are strange. So right-left to top-bottom is a 4 to 1 ratio. Now it's time to measure Huai Qiu's. Chung Hua, go for it. Huai Qiu, which eye do you think is bigger? -Should be about the same. -Lemme see. Looks like this one's bigger. Then we'll measure this one. You have to hold it straight. -You're not being fair! -It's about 3.5... Is it? Is it? -No, it should start here. -Oh here? No! It's to here, here. Here, here. Got it, got it. 3.5 cm. 3.5 cm! 3.5 cm! 3.5, so Huai Qiu's already lost round 1. Now top to bottom. -What if my top to bottom is 2 cm? -Wait, wait. You have to relax your face, you can't open it wide on purpose. Relax, relax. Looks to be 0.9. Relax, gotta relax! It's 0.7... 0.7?! 0.7! Everyone, ladies and gentlemen... The results are clear enough. Please film here. Look here. 40's results: left-right is 4. Top-bottom is 1. And Huai Qiu's results: left-right is 3.5. And top-bottom is 0.7. Why do I have so many decimal points? So, I win the top to bottom, I win the left to right too. Therefore I WIN! -Punishment, punishment. -So, hang on. Now congratulations to the people who bet on me. You guys know what is what. My eyes ARE bigger, they're just... More sensitive to light. The Korean guy's are smaller after all. The people who bet on Huai Qiu, all you can do now is watch him get punished. Let's begin the punishment. Huai Qiu, if you please. -Right away? -Yes. Are we doing it here? It's fine. You have to sing, "Oh my pretty girl." -How do I do that?! -Hurry, do it. We're filming all this too. -None of this is edited! -Hurry, hurry. 10 seconds is really too long. -You can do it against the wall. -Please film this too. Our Japanese album! It's really cute. Pink~ Show the backside. Our song list~ Our album that's released in Japan, really cool. Alright. That's done with. -So this has been our Japanese album... -Yes, now for the punishment! Time for punishment! Hey hey, get out of the way. Against the wall. Film his face, his face! Down, down! His feet aren't important! Hurry, sing! That's enough! So, for the people who bet on me... We will prepare prizes, very special prizes for you all. This ends the Small Eyes Competition of the century. It ends here. Winner! English subs by couchpotato812