On the Town by Leonard Bernstein, Betty Comden and Adolph Green - Dialogue and Script

1.ACT I  Outside the Brooklyn Navy Yard, workmen are starting their day. Three  sailors rush out to launch their twenty-four hours' leave in New York City. 2.I Feel Like I'm Not Out of Bed Yet  WORKMAN:  I feel like I'm not out of bed yet. A-a-a-a-a-a-h- Oh, the sun is warm, But my blanket's warmer. Sleep, sleep, in your lady's arms. QUARTET: Sleep in your lady's arms. 2nd WORKMAN: Ya got the time, bud? 3rd WORKMAN: Three minutes to six WORKMAN: I left my old woman still sleeping. O-o-o-o-o-o-h- Oh, the air is sweet. But my woman's sweeter. Sleep, sleep in your lady's arms. QUARTET: Sleep in your lady's arms. 2nd WORKMAN: Hey, what time is it? 3rd WORKMAN: One minute to six. WORKMAN: All night I was walkin' the baby. W-a-a-a-a-a-h- Oh, his eyes are blue, But her eyes are bluer. Sleep, sleep in your lady's arms. QUARTET: Sleep in your lady's arms. 2nd WORKMAN: What time is it now, bud? WORKMAN: Aw, six o'clock, will ya!? 3.New York, New York  OZZIE: Come on, Gabey, hurry up! CHIP: Twenty-four hours! SAILOR: Hey, why don't ya look where you're goin'. You'd think it was your first time in New York! GABEY: It is! (The sailors look around them, happily absorbing the scene.) GABEY, CHIP, OZZIE: New York, New York! It's a helluva town! GABEY: We've got one day here and not another minute To see the famous sights! OZZIE: We'll find the romance and danger waiting in it Beneath the Broadway lights; But we've hair on our chests So what we like the best are the nights Sights! Lights! Nights!  GABEY, CHIP, OZZIE: New York, New York, a helluva town. The Bronx is up, but the Battery's down. The people ride in a hole in the groun'. New York, New York, it's a helluva town! CHIP: (points to Empire State Building) Hey, Gabey! Gabey, look. (consulting his guidebook with reverence and excitement) Gabey, it says here "There are 20,000 streets in New York,  not counting MacDougal Alley the heart of Green-Witch Village, a charming thoroughfare filled with..." OZZIE: Here we go again! CHIP: The famous places to visit are so many, Or so the guidebooks say. I promised Daddy I wouldn't miss on any. And we have just one day. Got to see the whole town From Yonkers on down to the Bay. GABEY, CHIP, OZZIE: In just one day! New York, New York, a visitor's place, Where no one lives on account of the pace, But seven millions are screaming for space. New York, New York, it's a visitor's place! (Two sailors enter, weaving and weary-looking -  one happy, one very glum.) GABEY: Hey! Look who's comin' back! It's Tom and Andy! OZZIE: Hey, Tom, Andy! Hey, fellas, how are the New York dames? ANDY: Wonderful - I don't remember a thing! TOM: Awful! I remember everything! (Tom and Andy exit.) OZZIE: Manhattan women are dressed in silk and satin, Or so the fellas say; There's just one thing that's important in Manhattan, When you have just one day; Gotta pick up a date... CHIP: Maybe seven... OZZIE: Or eight On your way. GABEY, CHIP, OZZIE: In just one day! New York, New York, a helluva town. The Bronx is up, but the Battery's down. The people ride in a hole in the groun'. New York, New York, it's a helluva town!! (Exit all three.) 4. Presentation of Miss Turnstiles:  ANNOUNCER: Miss Turnstiles for June! Every month, some lucky little New York miss is chosen  Miss Turnstiles for the month. She's got to be beautiful,  she's got to be just an average girl, and most important  of all she's got to ride the subway.  There are 5,683 women who ride the subway every day. And  which fortunate lassie will be chosen for the signal honor  this month?  She's beautiful, brilliant, average, a typical New Yorker... IVY: Who, me? ANNOUNCER: Yes, you! Ivy Smith! (Ivy is chosen from a crowd of Manhattan girls  and adorned as Miss Turnstiles.) She's a home-loving girl. But she loves high society's whirl. She adores the Army, the Navy as well, At poetry and polo she's swell. [The first of On the Town's ballets presents a satiric look at the glamorous reign of Miss Turnstiles. In front of a stage-sized blowup of her poster, we meet Ivy Smith here photographed, interviewed and wooed by the town's most eligible men.] [Miss Turnstiles Dance] [Ivy dances a pas de deux with a Home-loving Man, a Playboy, a Soldier, a Sailor and an Athlete - emphasizing her contradictory attributes. Folled by a pas de sept with them all.] ANNOUNCER: But of course at the end of each month a new Miss Turnstiles is chosen... and when that happens... IVY: Oh, dear! [Ivy admirers disappear. She reluctantly rejoins the crowd of girls, and they exit.] Riding into Manhattan on the subway. Gabey and his pals spot the poster announcing this month's Miss Turnstiles, Ivy Smith. Smitten, Gabey steals the poster as a grouchy old lady cries "Vandals!" She locates a cop and they take off after the escaping sailors, becoming the first in a line of pursuers that grows as the trio gets into further trouble. Gabey is bent on finding Miss Turnstiles, but Chip balks at wasting any more of his precious 24 hours on chasing after Ivy Smith. When Ozzie reminds him that he wouldn't even be in New York if Gabey hadn't rescued them from drowning at sea not long before, the trio decides to look for Ivy, using clues from her personality sketch on the poster. But first, Ozzie and Chip give Gabey pointers in the art of courtship. 5. Gabey's Comin'/Pickup Song  OZZIE & CHIP: Gabey's comin', Gabey's comin' to town! He's on the town. With a day to burn, You're gonna turn New York City upside down! OZZIE, CHIP, GABEY: Gabey's comin' to town! OZZIE: Here's the way you do it! Hello, baby, gosh, you're pretty, I'm so tall and strong and witty; God's great gift to New York City. How's about a date tonight? CHIP: When a guy is feeling tender He don't want no solo bender, What he craves is sweet surrender. How's about a date tonight? GIRLS: Date tonight! Date tonight! Love it! Gabey's comin'. Gabey's comin' to town! He's on the town. Gonna brush my teeth Down underneath, Slip into my shearest gown; Gabey's comin' to town! OZZIE: Hello, babe, you look delicious; You're the answer to my wishes. Let's start buying breakfast dishes. How's about a date tonight? CHIP: Aren't we having lovely weather? We're two birdies of a feather; We could make such tunes together! How's about a date tonight? GIRLS: Date tonight? Date tonight? Love it! Gabey's comin', Gabey's comin' to town! He's on the town! Gonna take a dive In Chanel Five, For that lover of renown! Gabey's comin' to town! GABEY, CHIP, AND OZZIE: For that lover of renown! Gabey's comin' to town! Hunting for Miss Turnstiles, Chip meets an aggressive cab driver, Brunhilde Esterhazy, Hildy, for short. (The show is filled with choice names; Chip, we learn here, is one John Offenblock.) She has been fired for sleeping on the job yet again, and is determined to make her last fare a hot one. Chip, a born tourist who has brought along a guidebook (unfortunately, way out of date), decides to fit in some sightseeing before helping Gabey. But Hildy has other plans. 6. Taxi Number: Come Up to My Place  CHIP: My father told me, "Chip, my boy, There'll come a time when you leave home; If you should ever hit New York, Be sure to see the Hippodrome." HILDY: The Hippodrome? CHIP: The Hippodrome. HILDY: Did I hear right? Did you say the Hippodrome? CHIP: Yes, you heard right. Yes, I said the Hip- (Hildy brakes.) Hey what did you stop for? HILDY: It ain't there anymore. Aida sang an "A" And blew the place away! CHIP: Aw, I wanted to see the Hippodrome! HILDY: Give me a chance, kid;  I may not have 5,000 seats but the one I have is a honey! Come up to my place. CHIP: Oh no, lady; the Forrest The-a-tre. When I was home I saw the plays The Ladies Drama Circle showed. Now I am here, I want to get Some tickets for "Tobacco Road." HILDY: "Tobacco Road?" CHIP: "Tobacco Road?" HILDY: Did I dig that? Did you say "Tobacco Road"? CHIP: Yes, you dug that, Yes, I said "Tobac-" (Hildy brakes again.) Hey what for did you stop? HILDY: That show has closed up shop. The actors washed their feet And called it "Angel Street." CHIP: Aw, I wanted to see "Tobacco Road." HILDY: Stick with me, kid, and I'll show you the road to ruin.  Come up to my place. CHIP: Oh no, Battery Park. Back home I dreamt of catching fish So big I couldn't carry 'em. They told me that they have my size Right here in the Aquarium. HILDY: Aquarium? CHIP: Aquarium. HILDY: Hold the phone, Joe? Did you say Aquarium? CHIP: I'm still ringing; But I said Aquar- (She brakes again.) Did you stop for what, hey? HILDY: The fish have flown away; They're in the Bronx instead, They might as well be dead! Come up to my place. CHIP: No, Chambers Street. They told me I could see New York In all its spreading strength and power From the city's highest spot, Atop the famous Woolworth Tower. HILDY: The Woolworth Tower? CHIP: The Woolworth Tower. HILDY: Beat me, Daddy, Did you say the Woolworth Tower? CHIP: I won't beat you, But I said the Wool- (Hildy brakes again.) Did you stop for hey what? HILDY: That ain't the highest spot. You're just a little late, We got the Empire State! Let's go to my place! CHIP: Let's go to Cleopatra's Needle. Let's see Wanamaker's Store. Let's go to Lindy's, go to Luchow's; Let's see Radio City and Herald Square. Go to Reuben's! Go to Macy's! To the Roxy! Cloisters! Gimbel's! Flatiron Building! Hippodrome!! HILDY: My place!!! Hildy's boss joins the chase as he summons the police to recover his cab.  "She's studying painting at the museum," Miss Turnstiles' poster had read - but Ozzie's at the wrong one, the Museum of Natural History, on Central Park West. There he meets not Ivy smith but Claire de Loone, an anthropologist fascinated by Ozzie's resemblance to pithecanthropus erectus. She and Ozzie discover that they are kindred spirits. 7.Carried Away  CLAIRE: Modern man, what is it? Just a collection of complexes  and neurotic impulses  that occasionally break through OZZIE: You mean sometimes you blow your top, like me? CLAIRE: I do. I try hard to stay controlled But I get carried away, Try to act aloof and cold, But I get carried away. OZZIE & CLAIRE: Carried away, carried away, You/I get carried, just carried away! CLAIRE: When I sit and listen to a symphony Why can't I just say the music's grand? Why must I leap upon the stage hysterically? They're playing pizzicato, And everything goes blotto, I grab the maestro's stick and start in leading the band! OZZIE & CLAIRE: Carried away, carried away, You/I get carried, just carried away! OZZIE: And when I go to see a moving picture show, And I'm watching actors in a scene, I start to think what's happening is really so. The girl, I must protect her. The villain don't respect her. I leap to her defense and knock a hole right through the screen! CLAIRE & OZZIE: Carried away, carried away, You/I get carried, just carried away! OZZIE: I try hard to keep detached, But I get carried away. Try to act less ***-hatched, But I get carried away. CLAIRE & OZZIE: Carried away, carried away, You/I get carried, just carried away! OZZIE: When shopping I'm a sucker for a bargain sale. If something is marked down upon a shelf, My sense of what is practical begins to fail; I buy one, then another, Another, then another, I buy the whole store out and I'm in business for myself! CLAIRE & OZZIE: Carried away, carried away, You/I get carried, just carried away! CLAIRE: And when I go to see my friends off on a train, Golly, how I hate to see them go. For then my love of travelling I can't restrain. The time has come for parting, The train's already starting, I hop a freight and in a flash I'm off to Buffalo! We get carried, just carried a - way! OZZIE: Carried away, carried away, We get carried, just carried a - way! The two get so carried away that they accidentally destroy a dinosaur skeleton which has taken a professor 40 years to reconstruct. The professor and another cop join the ranks of those chasing the sailors. Elsewhere in the city, Gabey is having trouble making human contact. 8. Lonely Town  GABEY: Gabey's comin', Gabey's comin' to town. So what? Who cares? Back on the ship it seemed such a snap; You'd tap a girl on the shoulder, She'd turn around, And she'd say: "I love you." But once on shore, it's not such a snap; You get the cold shoulder, The old run-around, You're left with no one but you. Gabey's comin', Gabey's comin' to town. A town's a lonely town, When you pass through And there is no one waiting there for you, Then it's a lonely town. You wander up and down, The crowds rush by, A million faces pass before your eye, Still it's a lonely town. Unless there's love, A love that's shining like a harbor light, You're lost in the night; Unless there's love, The world's an empty place And every town's a lonely town. 9. Lonely Town - Pas de deux  [INSTRUMENTAL] "She's studying singing and ballet at Carnegie Hall": and there Gabey at l Turnstiles. She agrees to meet him at eleven that night at Nedick's in Times Squ the rendezvous that he had arranged earlier with his buddies. However, "sex and mix" is the motto of Ivy's dipsomaniacal singing teacher, the legendary Madame D who adds, "If they did, I'd have gone straight to the top." Then we move into a the building, as a chorus of students and teachers affirm Madame Dilly's advice. 10. Carnegie Hall Pavane  IVY: Do-do-re-do. DILLY: Do-re-mi-do. Mustn't be discouraged if the going is slow. IVY: Do-do-re-do. DILLY: Love life must go, If you'd be a nightingale instead of a crow. Sing high and low. IVY: Do-ti-la-do. DILLY: Any voice grow If you'll sing your do-re-do. IVY: Onwards! DILLY: Do-do-re-do. IVY: Onwards! Upwards! DILLY: Sex has to go. BOTH: Sing high and low, Do-ti-la-do And you soon will know Anyone can go From the lowest low To the very highest high If they will only sing their Do-do-re-do. Do-re-mi-do. CHORUS: Onwards! Do-do-re-do. Onwards! Upwards! Sex has to go. Do-re-do, Upwards and on. Do-do-re-do. Your little voice will grow And you'll be a nightingale Instead of a crow. Do-do-re-do. Don't be discouraged, babe, If the going is slow. Do-do-do-do-re-mi-do. Sex is out. Sing it high and low. You will be a nightingale If you will sing your Do-do-re-do. Do-re-mi-do. ALL: Sing high and low. Do-ti-la-do. Anyone can grow If you sing your do-re-do. 11.I Can Cook Too HILDY: Oh, I can cook, too, on top of the rest, My seafood's the best in the town. And I can cook, too. My fish can't be beat, My sugar's the sweetest around. I'm a man's ideal of a perfect meal Right down to the demi-tasse. I'm a pot of joy for a hungry boy, Baby, I'm cookin' with gas. Oh, I'm a gumdrop, A sweet lollipop, A brook trout right out of the brook, And what's more, baby, I can cook! Some girls make magazine covers, Some girls keep house on a dime, Some girls make wonderful lovers, But what a lucky find I'm. I'd make a magazine cover, I do keep house on a dime, I make a wonderful lover, I should be paid overtime! 'Cause I can bake, too, on top of the lot, My oven's the hottest you'll find. Yes, I can roast too, My chickens just ooze, My gravy will lose you your mind. I'm a brand new note On a table d'hС„te, But just try me Р° la carte. With a single course You can choke a horse. Baby, you won't know where to start! Oh, I'm an hors d'oeuvre, A jelly preserve, Not in the recipe book, And what's more, baby, I can cook! Baby, I'm cookin' with gas. Oh, I'm a gumdrop, A sweet lollipop, A brook trout right out of the brook, And what's more, baby, I can cook! Some girls make wonderful jivers, Some girls can hit a high "C", Some girls make good taxi drivers, But what a genius is me. I'd make a wonderful jiver, I even hit a high "C", I make the best taxi driver, I rate a big Navy "E"! 'Cause I can fry, too, on top of the heap, My Crisco's as deep as a pool. Yes, I can broil, too, My ribs get applause, My lamb chops will cause you to drool. For a candied sweet Or a pickled beet, Step up to my smorgasbord. Walk around until You get your fill. Baby, you won't ever be bored! Oh, I'm a patР№, A marron glacР№, A dish you will wish you had took. And what's more, baby, I can cook!! 12. Lucky To Be Me  GABEY: I used to think it might be fun to be Anyone else but me. I thought that it would be a pleasant surprise To wake up as a couple of other guys. But now that I've found you, I've changed my point of view, And now I wouldn't give a dime to be Anyone else but me. What a day, Fortune smiled and came my way, Bringing love I never thought I'd see, I'm so lucky to be me. What a night, Suddenly you came in sight, Looking just the way I'd hoped you'd be, I'm so lucky to be me. I am simply thunderstruck At the change in my luck: Knew at once I wanted you, Never dreamed you'd want me, too. I'm so proud You chose me from all the crowd, There's no other guy I'd rather be, I could laugh out loud, I'm so lucky to be me. CHORUS: What a day, Fortune smiled and came my way, Bringing love I never thought I'd see, I'm so lucky to be me. What a night, Suddenly you came in sight, Looking just the way I'd hoped you'd be, I'm so lucky to be me. I am simply thunderstruck At the change in my luck: Knew at once I wanted you, Never dreamed you'd want me, too. GABEY: I'm so proud You chose me from all the crowd, CHORUS: There's no other guy I'd rather be, GABEY AND CHORUS: I could laugh out loud, I'm so lucky to be me. Times Square: Finale, Act I 13. ACT II  [INSTRUMENTAL] Act II begins with a floor show number at Diamond Eddie's nightclub  on Fifty-third Street, first stop for Gabey and company. 14. So Long, Baby  GIRLS: So long, I'm on the loose again. So long, I counted up to ten. Bye, bye, baby - I got wise. Too long you made a fool of me, Too long you had me up a tree, Now you get the *** prize. So you cry - Boo hoo hoo, And you feel oh so blue. It's no use, now that I'm leaving you. You need a new pal, papa. So long, I've stood it long enough. So long, my turn to call your bluff. So long, baby, I've got wise to you. (The club singer, Diana Dream, depresses Gabey with a lurid torch song.) 15.I Wish I Was Dead  DIANA DREAM: I'm blue, my life is through. I thought I had a date with you, I guess I just don't rate with you, I wish I was dead - and buried!! I'm blue, a cast-off shoe, I'll break right down and cry tonight, 'Cause you told me a lie tonight, I wish I was dead - and buried!! 16. Ya Got Me  HILDY: I'm eager to share my love and devotion, It's deep as the ocean. I've plenty to spare, and since it's so ample, I'll throw you a sample. I will fix you up on the spot, So forget the things you have not. Can't you see, kid, what a very rare treasure you got? Ya got me, baby, ya got me! Ya got my affection, baby, and my sympathy. Ya got my whole muscular equipment from A to Z, And it's free, baby, it's all free. ALL: It's all free. OZZIE: Ya got me, Gabey, ya got me! Ya got my enthusiasm on the land and sea. Ya got my whole knack of gettin' ladies, It can't be beat. And it's free, Gabey, it's all free. ALL: It's all free, it's all free, it's all free. CLAIRE: I'm filled to the brim with eager affection That seeks a direction. My vigor and vim leave no one excluded, And you are included. I will get you out of your lull, You won't feel unwanted or dull, If you'll get this through that normal Neanderthal skull: Ya got me, baby, ya got me! Ya got my extensive knowledge of anatomy. OTHERS: ...of anatomy! CLAIRE: Ya got my whole interest in mankind - of every breed... And it's free, baby, it's all free. ALL: It's all free, it's all free, it's all free. CHIP: Ya got me, Gabey, ya got me! Ya got a guy who always functions systematically. OTHERS: ...-matically. CHIP: Ya got my whole family in Peoria, for you to see! And it's free, Gabey, it's all free. ALL: It's all free, it's all free, it's all free. HILDY & CLAIRE: Ya got we, Gabey, ya got we! OZZIE & CHIP: Ya got a date with Lucy Schmeeler, girl of mystery. CLAIRE & HILDY: Mystery. ALL: Ya got her whole reservoir of passion To fill your need, And it's free, Gabey, Without fee, Gabey, Can't you see, Gabey? It's all free! CLAIRE & HILDY: Ya got he! OZZIE & CHIP: Ya got she! ALL: Ya got we!! 17. Ain't Got No Tears Left Music and Lyrics by Leonard Bernstein NIGHTCLUB SINGER: Ain't got no tears left, I've been cryin' so long; Can't weep for joy, Can't weep for sorrow. Ain't got no tears left, Though the pain, it's so strong; Can't keep on cryin' all the time. Ain't got no tears left. The day you walked out without any trace I tried to find you, but you won the race, And now I sit here, don't go any place, Just keep on starin' into space Rememberin' your face. Ain't got no hope I'm gonna find you some day, Won't be tonight, Won't be tomorrow. Though I still need you In the same burnin' way, Can't keep on cryin' all the time. Ain't got no tears left. Ain't got no tears left. Wish I could cry, so that I can get relief from this pain, The way the showers bring flowers back To life in the rain. Can't keep on cryin' all the time; Ain't got no tears left; No tears... 18. Pitkin's Song (I Understand) PITKIN: When I was five my brother stole my lollipop. My lollipop stole he. But I didn't mutter, "Damn you hide," He needed candy more than I'd, So instead of biting off his hand, I just said, "Goo! I understand!" When I was ten my mother trounced me with a mop. With a mop trounc-ed she me. But I didn't mutter, "Damn your eyes," I knew she needed exercise, So instead of joining a gypsy band, I just said, "Mom, I understand." At thirty a man in a car ruthlessly ran me down. He ruthlessly down ran me. But I didn't mutter, "Damn your spleen," For a man's a man, but a car's a machine. So instead of stripping him of his land, I just said, "Jack, I understand." Now I'm forty-five and I've met Claire, We're engaged to wed. Engaged to wed are we. But tonight I tell you, "Damn you, Claire," You played me evil and that's not fair! So instead of remaining calm and bland, I hereby do not understand!!! [BALLET] Subway Ride and Imaginary Coney Island - The Great Lover Displays Himself - Pas de deux 19. Some Other Time  CLAIRE: Twenty-four hours can go so fast, You look around, the day has passed. When you're in love, Time is precious stuff; Even a lifetime isn't enough. Where has the time all gone to? Haven't done half the things we want to. Oh, well, we'll catch up Some other time This day was just a token, Too many words are still unspoken. Oh, well, we'll catch up Some other time. Just when the fun is starting, Comes the time for parting, But let's be glad for what we've had And what's to come. There's so much more embracing Still to be done, but time is racing. Oh, well, we'll catch up Some other time. HILDY: Didn't get half my wishes, Never have seen you dry the dishes. Oh, well, we'll catch up Some other time. Can't satisfy my craving, Never have watched you while you're shaving. Oh, well, we'll catch up Some other time. CLAIRE, HILDY, CHIP, OZZIE: Just when the fun's beginning, Comes the final-inning... OZZIE: Haven't had time to wake up, Seeing you there without your make-up. Oh, well, we'll catch up Some other time. ALL: Just when the fun is starting, Comes the time for parting, But let's be glad for what we've had And what's to come. There's so much more embracing Still to be done, but time is racing. Oh, well, we'll catch up Some other time. (The whole gang - in fact, virtually the entire cast - is about to come together at last, in the fifth and final ballet of the evening) 20. The Real Coney Island  [INSTRUMENTAL] RAJAH BIMMY: Rajah Bimmy's Harum-Scarum where you see the pretty girl  who picks the handkerchief with her teeth. 21. Finale: Act II  GABEY: New York, New York. CHIP: The lights are out. OZZIE: It's six o'clock. C'mon fella, let's get back to the ship. HILDY: Chip! CLAIRE: Ozzie! IVY: Gabey! HILDY, CLAIRE, IVY: Pitkin understood. He really understood! (Enter three new sailors.) THREE NEW SAILORS: New York, New York! It's a helluva town! We've got one day here and not another minute To see the famous sights! We'll find the romance and danger waiting in it Beneath the Broadway lights, SAILORS, GABEY, OZZIE, CHIP: But we've hair on our chest So what we like the best Are the nights. Sights! Lights! Nights! ALL: New York, New York, a helluva town. The Bronx is up, but the Battery's down. The people ride in a hole in the groun'. New York, New York it's a helluva town!! 22. APPENDIX: The Intermission's Great  [Originally intended for Act I of On the Town, but dropped before the Broadway opening, the "Intermission" number details the confusion of a first-night audience that doesn't know what to make of the show.] The Intermission's Great CHORUS: Wha'd'ya think of the show? The show, the show, the show. We don't know how the show is, But the intermission's great! We're enthused! We snoozed. We're confused. Opinions seem to differ, That is why we're in debate! Here to stay! Take it away. Can't say. The pros and cons are many, With ifs and buts galore! We can't agree on whether It's a beauty, or a bore! We don't know how the show is, But the intermission's great! A landmark in the-a-tre; We've never seen better! Do you call this the-a-tre? To us it's a tomater! Concerning the the-a-tre Our opinion doesn't matter. This drama pounds like a hammer! This drahma needs an embalmer! This dremma is a dilemma! We're enthused! We snoozed! We're confused! Here to stay! Take it away! Can't say! It's swell! It's hell! Oh, well. Opinions seem to differ, That is why we're in debate! We don't know 'bout the show, But the intermission's great! We snoozed! Enthused! Confused! 23. You're Awful Written by Roger Edens Sung by Frank Sinatra and Betty Garrett in ON THE TOWN (Movie 1949)  CHIP: You're awful, Awful good to look at, Awful nice to be with, Awful sweet to have and hold. You're nothing, Nothing if not lovely, Nothing if not dazzling, Nothing but pure gold! You're frightening, Frightening when you say that you might go away; You're boring, Boring into my heart to stay. You're cheap, dear, Chap at any price dear, Cheap for such a diamond, Cheap for such a pearl. What I said before I'll say again: You're awful, Awful nice to be my girl. HILDY: You're old, dear, Old with worldly wisdom, Old like Gorgonzola, Old like vintage France champagne, You're so-so, So-so kinda charming, So-so kind of witty, So I can't explain! CHIP: Can't stand you, I can't stand you to give some fellow the eye; Can't see you In the arms of another guy Who needs you Needs you to distraction, Needs you till he's crazy, Needs you rain or shine. BOTH: I'm the one who needs you and I think you're awful, Awful nice to say you're mine!