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Four bloodmobiles were hijacked within a ten-mile radius of this station. It's a turning party. Have you thought about it much? Becoming a vampire? Aah! It's the vamps. They put a bomb right in the zombie. Vamps must have broken in here and cleaned us out. You got three seconds to call off this attack. Ugh! Do vampires have the power to control zombies? I look forward to hammering out a peace agreement together. ***. It will be done. I assure you. One year ago Vampires, werewolves, and zombies Descended upon California's San Fernando valley. Authorities remain baffled by their origins. Good evening. I just received a text from officer Johnson in the hospital. It reads, uh, "love from ya boy." Four ys in "boy." Uh, "to da whole UTF family." "Holla at ya ya boy." Again with the four I can't read this is gibberish. Pretty sure he's on a morphine drip. Anyway, as some of you may have heard, the vamp boss has proposed a sit-down. I believe this is an opportunity we should not pass up. Hang on. Captain, why are we meeting with the vamps? I mean, why am I risking my life fighting them every day? Christ, they almost killed John-John. Ah, women. You're so emotional. Captain, I have to agree with Carla on this one. Ah, men. You're like women. Look, nobody hates the vamps more than I do, and I trust 'em about as far as I can throw 'em, which is to say not very far. 'Less, of course, one of 'em happens to be a dwarf. In which case, my personal best happens to be 16 feet. I did that one summer in new Zealand. That's how I tore my rotator cuff. Little *** wouldn't ball up. Kept squirming. But I was a foreigner, so the judges weren't hearing it. Are we dismissed, captain? Stubeck, Pierce, I want you guys to meet with Santos' men, figure out what he proposes. Rinaldi, I'm giving you the rest of the night off so you can visit your partner. Landry, you sit tight. You go to the hospital, you turn yourself into a third wheel. Captain, my relationship with officer Johnson is strictly professional. Well, maybe now it is, but after seeing what he pulled off in that assault on our precinct, I wouldn't put anything past that son of a ***. Dismissed. Hey, captain, I've been trying to contact your niece, but she doesn't seem to be replying to any of my texts. Texts. Does anybody make a phone call anymore? I don't think so. Texting's just so much easier. Um, captain, your niece said something about volunteering down at the hospital after school. Yeah, her mother tells me she's doing much better, thank God. Well, um, I mean, if there's nothing for me to do here, could I maybe go down there and check on her myself? I'll bring you back one of those stuffed bears from the gift shop? Hmm. Well, why not? Maybe you can figure out what's going on in that crazy little head of hers. Your niece is a pretty great girl, captain, but I will let you know if anything is going on. Promise. - Landry. - Yeah, captain? I'm partial to pandas. Food for thought. Okay. Panda it is. She's not gonna bring me back a bear. Just saying that like everybody else. Turkey melt or roast beef sandwich. I could really go for a roast beef sandwich. What do you think, Stubie Boobie? Don't call me that. There's such a big difference between a good roast beef sandwich and a bad roast beef sandwich. You know what I mean? Like, a rare, honking roast beef sandwich, compared to one of those, like, flat, gray, slimy things that looks like an old wallet. I mean, can you think of any food that has a wider range of good to bad than the roast beef sandwich? It's almost like they're two totally different sandwiches. My head is gonna split right down the middle. Oh, relax, Stu, all right? What do you have against roast beef sandwiches, huh? How's it going, gorgeous? Ugh. Be quiet. Billy, aren't you nervous about meeting with the vamps? Actually, Stu, I'm not. I don't know. Some reason, I just have this feeling that it's all gonna work out. What are you basing that on? Nothing. Just a hunch. Yeah, I can't go off your hunch. 'Course you can't go off my hunch. It's my hunch, dummy. Two people can't go off one hunch, all right? One person, one hunch. I know we've been be quiet. I'm trying to tell you that I'm nervous, okay? I just got a bad feeling about this whole thing. Okay. Okay, well, you know what? Maybe the vamps are nervous too. What? I'm just saying, I know I know we think of them as As monsters. They are monsters, Billy. By definition, vampires are monsters. Okay, well, I'm just saying, maybe they're as afraid of us as we are of them. - You really think that? - I do. I think in a lot of ways, the vamps are really no different than you or I. Whew. Okay. So, uh, the meeting'll take place before dawn, and as far as picking a location, the UTF station has a conference room that'll be more than accommodating. Sidebar. Do you really want to let 'em know where the police station is? They already know where the station is. In fact, they blew it to pieces. - Right. - Yeah. - Brain fart. - Remember that now? - My bad. - Yeah. Sorry. Yeah, Santos will not be lured to our station, as your captain wouldn't be lured to our headquarters. We'll choose a neutral site. Mm-hmm. Like where? Well, we could do the Hilton across from the Burbank airport. I took a seminar there, so they have conference rooms, and, if we get hungry, we can order from the kitchen. Just, FYI, guys, we only drink blood. Right. But still it's an excellent suggestion. Thanks. Yeah. Think it'll be good. You know what? That's lame. I mean, who wants to listen to airplanes taking off all night? Why don't we just go to a nudie bar like they do on the Sopranos? - I like the sound of that. - Right? - Yeah. - Wow, I am shocked. Come on, guys. Let's remember this is a business meeting. Well, you know what goes great at a business meeting? Tay-tays. - Yeah, they do! - Yeah, bro! Stop it. Jesus, Billy. Whose side are you on? What? Ah, crap. Hey. Wow. You look different. I I been trying to text you the last couple of days. Yeah, I guess I've just been busy. Okay. Um, is this a bad time? I could come Look, Kirsten, look, I don't know what you want me to say to you, but you've done nothing but lie to me from the moment you met me. Feels weird calling you Kirsten. You know that? It's like I'm talking to someone else. Natalie, look, I'm sorry, okay? I I didn't mean for things to turn out this way. I was just following orders, and everything snowballed. I mean, it looks like you're doing great here. You're making a difference and helping out. Right? They turned me. What? What do you Come here. Wow. Who who did this? Rico and his friends. When did this happen? Like, a week and a half ago. Right before my uncle threw Rico in jail. Oh, Jesus. Hey, what did Rico do, Natalie? He invited me over in the afternoon. And when I got there, he and his friends started giving me drinks, and they They held me down while Rico started biting me everywhere. At first I was kicking and screaming so much I almost passed out, and then luckily his girlfriend came home, so he climbed off of me. Oh, I'm so sorry. You've told your mom, right? God, no. Are you joking? If she found out, I swear to God, she'd disown me. Look, I know they have some crazy plans they're not telling me about. And they said I'm not even fully initiated until I get my first kill. Wait, what? What do you mean? Don't worry. That's not happening. Seriously. I couldn't even kill a moth. Excuse us. No, no, no, no, we got this. What's he doing? No way. Dude. Dude, that was awesome. Okay. So where were we? Wait, wait, wait. We can't leave a zombie wandering around outside. Fine. Hey, hey, hey. - Oh! - Whoa! Ho, ho, oh! That's great, guys. You did a great job. - Really cool stuff. - Appreciate that. Yeah, very good. Very good. Go back inside now? Yeah. Thanks for showing us that. Now that was some bomb-*** meatloaf. Good, 'cause it Smells like a TV dinner. You damn right. Well, I'm glad you're eating at least. Mm-hmm. Yesterday, you looked like you went 12 rounds with I don't know any boxers. You know this black man is indestructible. - Right. - Mm-hmm. So how's my big man doing? Hello. I didn't know you had company. I'm all right. Yeah. Hi. Hi. Oh, Carla, this is my night nurse Aurora. Aurora, this is my partner Carla. My police partner. Seriously? So your name's Aurora. Yes. It's a beautiful name. A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Wow. Must be nice hearing that all day. Or night. You know how there's "office cute"? I'm "hospital cute." We're just gonna have to see about that when I get out of here. You know where to find me. - I sure do. - Call me if you need anything. What's your number? She's great. Wow. Well, I'd say "get a room," but you know But what? John-John, come on. I mean, why don't you guys just have sex and get it over with already? - Are you jealous? - What? - Are you jealous? - No. Are you serious? You're such an idiot sometimes. Captain. I have some awful news to tell you. I think that he might have gotten to her before Before we could get to him. What do you mean, "gotten to her"? What does that mean? You mean he turned her into one of them? Is that what you mean? I don't know, captain. I I guess Rico attacked her, and he started draining her, but then someone walked in on them, so he stopped, and it just I think that he infected her, but I don't know if she's completely turned. Oh, Christ. This is what I get for putting a rookie on the case. You didn't put me on a case, captain. You had me babysit your niece. And you that up too, didn't you? - I am an officer of the law. - Get out of my way. And you and not once have you ever taken me seriously. I can only apologize so many times, and, yes, I have made some mistakes, but that is the only way that I'm going to learn, and I don't think it's fair for you to keep questioning whether or not my heart is in the right place. Damn it. This peace summit is over. I can tell you that. What? Why? 'Cause the next vamp I see is getting a steel-tipped boot in the ***. That doesn't actually kill them, captain. I know that. I was just saying I want to kick them in the ***. Get me the chief. And I can't forge a peace summit with monsters that would do that to an innocent girl. Captain, if you don't mind me saying, that's exactly why you should make peace with them. Excuse me? There are thousands of girls just like Natalie in the valley, and this is your chance to help save them. I mean, look, just in the time that I have been here, the violence has gotten out of control. And now that you find a vamp boss that you can reason with I don't think you have a choice, captain. He did send me a driver. What? Santos. Sent me a callaway driver. It's a gesture. May not have much significance to you, but between men Do you even play, captain? I did. Till I tore my rotator cuff. kiwi dwarf! - John-John, hold still. - I'm trying to. Boy, you gonna make me hold you down. What are you doing? You stop right there. I'm a police officer. You stop. I thought he was supposed to be this big tough man. Yeah, some Tuffy you are. - Ugh. - Big police officer, my ***. Okay, I'm gonna get something to eat. Um, excuse me, Aurora, no offense, but, uh, where can I get something better than hospital food? There's a deli in Van Nuys. They have good soups. Everything's good, actually. Mm. Great. All right. Oops. Sorry. You can fix that, right? You're a nurse. See you later. - Bye. - Bring me back something. Someone's got an attitude. She'll be all right. What'd you guys think of Santos' men? Personally, I thought they were idiots. Loved 'em. Especially the handsome one. You got our key points across? Yes, captain. Uh, in a Nutshell, if we let them into a handful of legitimate local businesses, they say they'll cease all drug and prostitution related activity. Excellent. What else? Zombies come up? - Yeah, captain, they did. - I got this. I can tell it. The vampires they control these things. - One second. Captain it's awesome. I would have loved to tell the story. Okay, listen, gentlemen. The most important thing is we leave that diner with one big promise, and that is they will not turn anymore civilians. I don't know, captain. You really think you're gonna get that? If Santos is being straight with me. The guy did give you a golf club, didn't he? Exactly. Which leads me to believe he's a reasonable man. He's got absolutely no reason to expand his army by turning more civilians. Captain, didn't he just possibly turn your niece? Yeah, he did. Landry. Carla, hey. Um, I don't know if you're still at the hospital, but but if you're not, could you get back there right away? Dashell's niece said something that made me feel like John-John might be in trouble. Um, okay, I'm gonna text you, make sure you got this. - Frank. - Santos. I've read your terms. You've read mine. There's one last promise I need from you. If you're truly a man of peace, then there's no reason for you to expand your army. I'm gonna need your word in writing there'll be no more turning of civilians. Whatever your numbers are today, that is where they stand. I would love to argue with you, Frank, but I have no argument to make. It shall be done. This is a historic occasion, Frank. Well, I hope this is the beginning of a true partnership and the end of a lot of senseless violence. Please. Could you get back there right away? Dashell's niece said something that made me feel like John-John might be in trouble. Um, okay, I'm gonna text you, make sure you got this. Aah! Ugh! Hey. Oh, my God! Aah!
