In Loving Memory

Hi my name is Laira Calderon. I'm going to share with you a poem I wrote on 2005 when my mom was in the hospital. I write in English and Spanish. I hope you like it. It's going to tell you a little bit about me and the values that I hold, it's called; ''IN LOVING MEMORY'' Mother, I remember, growing up in so much drama, the many times as a child seeing you getting beat up by my father, Always....putting your heart on a platter, YOU KEPT BELIEVING, HE'LL STOP THE CHEATING! But no matter all the LOVE you kept on giving, It never stopped him from abandoning us, and leaving... all those SLAPS, KICKS and PUNCHES, ESCALATING, EACH AND EVERY TIME NEVER DISSIPATING! it was always LOUDER and more violent the yelling... so long ago and yet, I'm not forgetting. and even thou you kept a smile AFTER EVERY BEATING! late at night...I could always see you weeping. standing lonely in the balcony, staring at the night in AGONY, I always felt your pain deep inside of me. YOU NEVER ASKED HIM FOR ANYTHING! WHEN YOU DESERVED EVERYTHING! you were an angel... Mother... I remember, all those December's, when there was never money for a Christmas tree or gifts, it was HARD for you alone to raise four kids, struggling as we got behind on the BILLS, EVICTION NOTICES!, BRINGING DONATION BOXES, FROM CHURCHES, WITH USED SHOES AND CLOTHES, giving me a good example, showing me true LOVE, was not to gamble, and after every LITTLE THING! I'M PROUD OF EVERY LITTLE THING YOU DID FOR ME! and I thank you... for all the times we were hungry... for all the times we were under I thank you, for all the holidays we had NOTHING... I'm grateful... It may sound like a bad dream for some, but I wouldn't change a single thing from my past JUST BECAUSE, your UNDYING LOVE, WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR US... iS THE REASON WHY I'M HERE, WHY I AM WHO I AM, WHY I FEEL, WHY I WRITE, WHY I SEE THE PAIN OF EVERY HUMAN BEEN THROUGH THEIR EYES... so MADRE! ES AHORA VIEJA! QUE NO TE TENGO! QUE TE HE PERDIDO! QUE AL MAS ALLA TE HAS IDO! que quisiera darte TODO mi agradecimiento, GRACIAS...por tu talento, por todos tus intentos, por siempre darme un buen ejemplo... Te pido que me perdones por todos los lamentos y sufrimientos que pude causarte, POR TODAS ESAS VECES QUE EL AMOR NO SUPE DARTE! soy joven, e ignorante... Le doy GRACIAS A LA VIDA! Y AL QUE ESTA ALLA ARRIBA POR TODO LO QUE ERAS, Mi GUIA, mi FUERZA, mi ESTRELLA, SIMPLE, HONESTA, SINCERA, ayudabas a quien sea, como fuera, dabas TODO a cambio de nada...sin esperas, SANTA! MADRE SANTA! REINA BELLA! Madre solo hay una... MAMIIII COMO TU NINGUNA! eras mi angel, Te amare siempre vieja, y que en paz descanses.