The West Wing S2E19 - English Transcript

Previously on The West Wing : I have a relapsing-remitting course of MS. - I'm sorry, sir? - I have multiple sclerosis, Toby. The vice president's authority was murky, at best. Are you pissed because I didn't say anything or because there were 15 people who knew before you did? Seven months till the caucus and no one's been told the president may not be the nominee. - He'll run. - He may not have that option. - You think he'll need to resign? - There's gonna be hearing upon hearing-- He hasn't broken a law. At some point in the near future we'll have to speak to some lawyers. - Go home. - No. - You were up all night. - Do you know why? - Oliver-- - Because my staff's work on the analysis of HR 437 ignored the Fourth Amendment implications and instead became fascinated with the Third, Seventh and 11th. Like you gotta be a prime number to get the attention of the U S. Supreme Court. Get a few hours sleep before you go to the airport. That's why I was up all night. Where am I going? - On vacation. - Wait, it's coming back. - Oliver-- - It's not a vacation. - Not a vacation. It's a forced vacation. - In Borneo. It's an international law summit where I'm supposed to show my support for. I'm not certain. Do I have that in my notes someplace? - Yes. - I need the amicus brief - on sovereign immunity. - It's there. - Federal land use. - It's there. - Want us to pack your big hammer? - Don't make fun of the big hammer. It happens to be a gavel given to my father's father by Justice Louis Brandeis. - I need a Dictaphone. - On your desk. - It doe'sn't work. - What's wrong with it? - He's asking-- - It's stuck on record. It won't stop. Just what you want lying around the White House counsel's office because there's never been a problem with that. - I'm putting mine in your bag. - Okay, you know what else? You're gonna go home and sleep until your plane leaves? I'm fine sleeping till after that. Somebody call when the car's on the way. - Excuse me, Mr. Babish? - I'm going home. That was Mr. McGarry's office. He's on his way down with the president. - You should fix your tie. - Yeah. I couldn't disagree more, Cal. As long as these people fund their public school districts with property taxes neither the value of the schools nor their property will go up. It's a vicious circle. It's terrible, and it has to be stopped. - So we'll do something about it? - I wouldn't go that far. - Anything else? - No, sir. - Thank you. - Thank you. - Mr. President? - It's a vicious circle, Leo. - Never stops. - Sir-- - Just goes round and round. - Look-- - Round and round. - Let's go see him. - Now? - He's waiting for us. - We really need to see him now? - What better time? - Well, later. - Let's go. Five White House counsels in two and a half years. Cochran, Gates, Solomon, Tribbey. Why can't I keep a head lawyer around here? They all think they'll be counselor to the president and you never let them in. - I don't like new people. - Oliver Babish isn't a new person. You know each other. Your kids know each other. You built hospitals together. He was Midwest finance chairman on the campaign. - Never played chess, though. - No. See? - You're scared of Babish. - Like you're not. No, because we are both men of Chicago. What is it with people from Chicago that they're so happy to have been born there? So many people can't wait to tell me they're from Chicago and when I meet them, they live anywhere but Chicago. - You wouldn't understand. - He looks down his nose at me - because I'm not a lawyer. - Yes. I didn't go to law school. I got a Ph. D. in economics instead. Your parents were proud. Yeah, and all that happened was, I won a Nobel Prize and got elected president. So I guess that decision didn't really pay off. - Should I get my Nobel Prize? - I think he knows you've got one. Guy's been here three months, he's got a nicer office than I do. - He's got a nicer office than I do. - That matters less to me. - Good morning, Mr. President. - Hey, Oliver. Come on in. - What are the bags for? - I was just heading out on vacation. - Oh, gosh, Oliver, this-- - Sir-- - This can keep. - Mr. President-- His bags are packed. Where are you going? - Sarawak. - Asia's best kept secret. - Sir, is there something you'd like to? - It's really not even-- I don't want you to worry that much about it. - I'm easing in. - Okay. Well, Oliver, it really boils down to this. I'm gonna tell you a story then I need you to tell me if I've engaged 16 people in a massive criminal conspiracy to defraud the public in order to win a presidential election. Okay. I'm on my way to the meeting right now. Finance, foreign relations, Senate banking, I guess. Leo's in a meeting. Someone's gonna call you every half-hour. - Mexico collapsed? - Yeah, can you believe it? - Mexico collapsed over the weekend? - No, actually just this morning. How doe's a country collapse on Monday morning? By not slowly devaluing the peso the way I told them to. - You told them to devalue the peso? - The treasury secretary did. - Seriously-- - They're in big trouble. Three weeks ago, they fell to 20 cents against the dollar. Two weeks ago, the Bolsa Index took its worst single-day fall in history. This morning, the Mexican market opened 20 percent off the Friday close. - What's that in U. S. terms? - Like a 2000 point drop in the Dow. - The immediate problem-- - You saw this? - Two hours ago. Where've you been? - I just got here. - We could be screwed on vouchers. - We are screwed on vouchers, but-- - Talk to C. J. - Somebody's gonna eat this quote. - He's pissed. - I can't worry about it right now. - What's the immediate problem? - Mexico's got $30 billion worth of foreign loans due this week, and they don't have $30 billion. So, what happens now? Buenos d�as, se�ores y se�oras. Let's find some money. I've seen it, obviously. I just haven't spoken to the president about it. C. J. , what may have turned the president around on school vouchers? - He hasn't turned around. - Is the House--? Sorry. The quote from the senior White House official says the president is willing to compromise-- It sounds like the senior official is willing to compromise but I haven't spoken to the president yet. If I can move off the quote for a moment. From the Coast Guard Marine Safety and Environmental Protection Division. Three hours ago, a single hull VLCC carrying 4 million gallons of crude oil ran up on a shoal three miles south of Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. - C. J. ! - C. J. ! I don't have much. I'll give you everything I've got. The hull was punctured and the tanker is leaking oil. - How many gallons do you think--? - 200,000 gallons so far. The Coast Guard has set up a command center with EPA workers and the state emergency response team. - The ship belongs to Kensington Oil. - Doe's the ship have a name? Yeah, it's the Indio. l-N-D-l-O. The Kensington Indio. - Operations are already underway-- - Containment booms? The Coast Guard has deployed containment booms around the vessel. - They're siphoning oil-- - What happened? - What? - The oil tanker. I'm hearing it now. - What do you know about the oil tanker? - It hit Delaware. I'm amazed it found Delaware. The federal on-scene coordinator's scheduled a press conference for 2 this afternoon from the Coast Guard Incident Command Post. We hope to have more information by then. - C. J. ! - Thank you, everybody. Take it over. - What the hell, C. J. ? - Anything good in the paper? - Who's the senior White House official? - I don't know. You're telling me a reporter can just pick up the phone and call anyone? - Why? - Because we don't live in Tripoli. The Republican leaders-- Shallick, Ann Stark think they can get the votes on a compromise measure. All they were scared of was a veto. They're gonna build it now. Our phones are gonna be ringing with Democrats who want us dead. Seth Gillette is gonna-- This time he's gonna be right. Toby, I'll talk to Leo, Josh and the president. I'll get a clarification. What do you want me to do? Find out who the senior White House official was and put his *** in my office by the end of the day! It wasn't me. If it was anyone within the sound of his voice, they'd be looking for a trap door. Anything you can tell me about the tanker? Carol's gonna give you the notes. Something to do with the navigation or steering? That's being investigated. I'm assuming when a ship runs into the shore it has something to do with either the navigation or the steering. Hey, Sam, you don't know who it was, right? No. What can you tell me about this disease that I don't already know? Not as much as a doctor. You should talk to a doctor. Well, I'm gonna talk to quite a few of them, but let me ask you this: Is it possible for someone with relapsing-remitting MS to experience an attack that would include temporary loss of proper brain function, but exclude any physical symptoms? Let me put it another way. Is it possible that you can sit here and have an attack, and I don't know it? I think what you're asking is, is it possible I could be sitting in the Situation Room, have an attack, and nobody knows it? - Yes. - Yes. My vision might get blurry, you wouldn't know. - My legs might get numb. - Okay, sir. There's something that I want to make sure is absolutely clear. What's that? You and I don't enjoy attorney-client privilege. What's he talking about? He's a government lawyer. The privilege doe'sn't exist. You want to be very careful about what you say in this room because if subpoenaed to give a deposition, I won't lie under oath. I don't want to be careful about what I say in this room. We should end this meeting. You should retain private counsel. I want you. I meant, I don't need to be careful. Okay. I'd like to ask you some questions. These are preliminary, with no preparation and in no particular order. - Have you ever been party to a lawsuit? - Have I ever been party to a lawsuit? - Yes. - I was governor of New Hampshire-- I mean a lawsuit in which you gave a deposition. A meter reader slipped on a patch of black ice in my driveway and I got dragged into some thing over my great aunt's will. And you gave a deposition in both those cases? Yeah. Do you recall any time in the depositions when you were asked about your health? Oliver, why are we talking about my great aunt's will and the meter reader? If you were asked about your health and lied in a deposition, that's the ball game. We're all going home. - He never lied. - I'd like to hear the president say that. I never lied. Never had to testify under oath about your health? Never any interrogatories or depositions about your health? No. Okay. The first lady and your kids, that's four. The six original doctors and radiologists, that's 10. Your brother, that's 11. Fitzwallace, the vice president and Leo, that's 14. And the anesthesiologist at GW. - Who's the last one? - I'm sorry? - You said 16 people. Who's the last one? - Toby Ziegler. - You told him? - Yeah. - When? - This past Friday night. - How's he taking it? - Not well. I wouldn't think so. Mr. President, I have some more questions. Is there time now? The Mexican economy crashed, an oil tanker busted up 120 miles from here and 13% of Americans are living in poverty so, yeah. I can hang out with you and answer insulting questions for a while. Good. Treasury's getting it into legislative language right now. The assistant secretary for Legislative Affairs-- Carol Villenuevo? She'll have it for us in an hour. The president will call you and ask to fast-track it. He wants you to take it to markup and vote. My members are gonna need a day to read it. We understand, but we don't have a day. The very next story in the news has gotta be the U S. guaranteeing the loans. Treasury secretary's gotta make that announcement when the markets open. We need a vote tonight. Yeah, listen, the next story in the news cycle has gotta be that the U S. is guaranteeing the loans. These guys just said that. We may not have anything ready till 2, 3 in the morning. The president doe'sn't mind staying up late to sign his name. You also understand no one here said yes yet. - I noticed that. - All right. - You mind if we use the room to talk? - No. You mind talking fast? - I do it for a living. - Shout to somebody if you need coffee. - How's it going? - The number of people whose permission I need before I can do whatever I want-- Let me tell you, there's a lot to be said for fascism. - Funny you mention that. - Toby? - He wants me to find the leak. - You should. - No problem. Was it you? - No. Okay, now I'm stumped. When there's a leak, I do what I do. Finding the person is impossible under benign circumstances but with Toby blasting around the halls, whoever it was has gone so far underground we can start our search in Beijing. - What about asking Cashin? - Cashin won't roll over on a source. Then you get a swinging light bulb in there and just do it. This from the guy who had four kinds of aneurysms when he had to interrogate the staff on drug use. - That was different. - Because it was you? No, because that was an investigation into personal behavior. - This guy compromised a policy initiative. - Fair point. I'm not saying it's not bad. I'm saying I won't find him. - You're absolutely not gonna find him. - I should do it anyway? - Yes. - Because Toby's pissed? Hey, you know what? I found that if you accept that as a good enough reason, life becomes easier. - Thanks for the fortune-cookie wisdom. - You bet. Josh? - You just lurk there in the shadows, like-- - Whatever. - What are you doing? - Things with paper. - Do them later. - Why? - So you're not doing them now. - I had a couple of questions. - About what? - The Mexico bailout. - Can you ask later? - Later it might be a done deal. Before you send $30 billion of my money to Mexico, I wanna ask a few questions. - It's gonna be one of these now, right? - Yeah. - You object to the bailout? - I do. In the world of Donnatella Moss, we should all love one another. As long as it doe'sn't cost you anything. Well, yes. That's one small-minded way of putting it. Close the door. Donna? - With me on the other side? - Thank you. - Hey. - How you doing? - Is he back yet? - No. You decided yet? Theology 201: Intro to Biblical Literature. - Why? - So the president'll stop bugging me. And English 201: Texts and Contexts. - What happened to molecular biology? - It's closed out for summer. How many high school AP credits do you have? I have six in English, six in math and calculus three in European history and three in French. You've never been to college and after taking two classes this summer, you're gonna be a junior? - With a pretty decent GPA. - Charlie, just how smart are you? - I've got some game. - Sam? - She's here? - Yeah. Thanks. Excuse me. - Lieutenant? - Mr. Seaborn? - Sam. - Emily. You look exactly the way you sound on the phone. You look exactly the way you look on the news. - Thanks for coming. - No problem. I'm surprised to see you in dress uniform on a day like you must be having today. We're required to wear the Class A's for business on the Hill or the White House. - I never knew. - Never noticed that every soldier and sailor to walk in here has been in a dress uniform? I'm less observant than others, but I make up for it. - How? - With cunning and guile. Okay. What happened to the ship? It suffered some kind of malfunction, causing steering loss 10 miles offshore. The captain dropped anchor to avoid a run-in with marine traffic. If he dropped anchor 10 miles out, why's it here? - The anchor broke. - The anchor broke? - Anchors break? - I want you to guess something. A ship of the size and gross tonnage of the Indio, steaming at 18 knots how long doe's it take to come to a complete stop from the moment the bridge cuts the engines and throws the props into reverse? I don't know. A couple of football fields. - Six miles. - Six miles. There's no anchor that stops it at 18 knots. - So it's drifting-- - Which is when we got a dead-in-the-water mayday and sent the Tallahassee to tow it in. What happened to that? wind out of the north-northeast at 40. - So it made for port. - With every intention of going back-- - But the wind-- - And the tidal pull-- Pushed the Indio into shore. - How bad is this gonna end up being? - Bad. Everyone's in it. Coast Guard, EPA, NTSB, state, local but there are only so many pairs of hands and getting oil out of water you try it sometime. Listen, thanks again for coming by. - Want me to keep you posted? - I'd appreciate it. - Good luck. - Thanks. - Do you have life insurance? - No. A wife and three kids, and no life insurance? I have accidental death insurance as well as considerable personal worth. Were I to die, my family would not miss my government salary. - Health insurance? - I don't have any anymore. - Why not? - I'm the husband of a doctor and as a governor and president, the various governments I've led generously-- Let me cut to the end of the page. Have you ever signed any document for health insurance or life insurance or any document which falls under the pains and penalty of perjury in which you were asked about your health and did not disclose you have MS? No. You should probably make the call. Yeah. Excuse me. What do you think? I am nowhere close to being able to answer that question. C. J. , you wanted to see Jamie Hotchkiss? No. But yes. - Hey, Jamie, how you doing? - I'm pissed about the quote this morning. I know how you feel. My team's been working for nine months. Can't get leverage with rubber crowbars. - They're gonna jump on this. - Yes. - I'd like to ask you some questions. - Sure. The vouchers meeting in the Roosevelt Room last Thursday, were you part of it? I've been in on those meetings from the beginning. Right. Have you talked to Terry Cashin of the Baltimore Sun in the last four days? - What? - I was wondering if in the last four days-- You're asking me if I'm the leak? - I was gonna be more circumspect. - I can tell. I've been working on this for nine months. Frankly, and I don't say this to you enough, doing a very good job. - Thank you. - Do you know who the leak is? Listen up. I'm not the leak. I don't know who the leak is. If I did, I wouldn't tell you. - Any other questions? - No. We wrapped that up tight. Thank you. - Carol? - Yeah. - How many more of these do I have? - 1138. Okay. After five of them, I'm gonna confess. - You ready for the next one? - Sure. - They're not done meeting yet? - In the Roosevelt Room? - No. - Okay. - You got a phone message. - From who? - Frank Kelly. - Who's he? He's a textiles worker in South Carolina making $ 12. 17 an hour with no health insurance. His two kids go to public school. The school's fine but they've had to cut art and music for budget and Frank's 10-year-old is nuts about the trumpet. The mom doe's telemarketing at night after the kids have gone to bed to pay for lessons and rent an instrument. Not that art and music are important, or that any of us had any fun doing it. Frank obeys the law, pays his bills. He also pays his taxes. And he called to thank you for sending his money to Mexico. - Doe's he want me to call back? - Josh-- Why don't you call him back and remind him that the Mexican consumers who buy his textiles can't afford to buy them. Frank will be laid off, which isn't a problem. There are plenty of jobs out there for a 48-year-old textiles worker as long as he's trained in high-tech computers or medical research. Like the 30 billion makes it into the pockets of Mexican consumers. Eventually it doe's. We're not giving them the money. We're giving them our credit card and paying the bill. It's a loan. We did the same thing six years ago. The loan was paid back. We did the same thing four years before that, right? - Yes. - Five years before? - Yes. - AA's definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again, expecting a different result. I'm not cheap. Nor am I xenophobic. I just think it's time for some tough love. Well, not right here, but if you want to run home and get your equipment-- Go away from me. The telemarketing was a nice detail, but you should've said "scrubbed floors. " - I thought it'd be too much. - Yeah, probably. Come in. - Hey. - Hello, Sam. - You did some decorating. - Yeah. - A woman's touch. - It was a guy named Kirk. I know this piece of music. I love it. - Isn't it great? - No, but there's a reason I like it. - Well, it's beautiful. - But there's another reason. Hang on. It's called "Air on a 'G' String. " Could that be--? Yes. Thank you. - What do you need? - A lawyer. - Well, you came to the wrong place. - Seriously. - Are you in trouble? - No. I'm not. I just want to ask you some questions. You've been covering the attorneys general for Maryland and Delaware? - On the oil spill? - Yeah. They'll hold a press conference to announce they're seeking damages. - How much? - Who can say at this point but if I had to guess, I'd say in the area of 100 million for cleanup costs. Probably another 3 or 400 million punitive. I know how you feel about this. Kensington will pay through the nose. - They're not. - I think you're wrong. Somebody's gonna pay. It's not gonna be them. - Think their liability shield is that strong? - I do. How do you know? Because I'm the one who bought them the boat. I bought the Indio for them when I was at Gage Whitney. Wow. Talk about your chickens coming home to roost. Yeah, but what I was thinking was this-- I know this is gonna sound crazy but I was thinking, if I could be deposed for the plaintiffs. - Why? - Because. Look, I was very proud of myself for making such a great deal. It sealed it for me with the partners, and they were about to make me one. And it really didn't bother me that the boat was cheap for a reason. At the 11th hour, I had a change of heart. For whatever reason, I had a change of heart. I told them the boat wasn't good enough, particularly the steering and navigation. Which they already knew, and I suggested they spend more money-- - Stop talking. - 11 million extra dollars. - They laughed me out of the room. - Stop talking, or I'm walking out. You know better. Neither you nor your clients abdicated attorney-client privilege when you left. If you gave that deposition, you'd be disbarred. Even if you were willing to be disbarred there's no judge in the country who'd allow privileged testimony. Unless a company like this is forced to fork over so much money they don't wanna go on living, unless they're compelled to pay $500 million there's no incentive for them to pay the 11 million to make the boat safer. Yes. All right, it was just an idea. Hey, you never know. With the liability shield. - Maybe you're not as good as you think. - Yeah, I am. You still filling out forms, Charlie? I'm gonna be filling out forms for quite some time. It's basically gonna be my major. - What is gonna be your major? - I really don't know. - You gonna join the glee club? - I don't think so. Glee club's important. I only have time for a couple classes at night. I won't be able to be gleeful. - How about fencing? - Fencing? - You're taking fencing? - I'm not taking fencing. Not taking glee club, either. Fencing's good, because you learn the philosophy of self-defense. I don't get a lot of people pulling an �p�� on me in my neighborhood. My philosophy of self-defense has a lot to do with running as fast as I can. These forms are really out of control. Look at this: Six forms for financial aid, three forms for housing-- I'm not using their housing. A form for roommate preference, and I'm not using their housing. Emergency contacts, general activity information transfer of credits, and a 14-page form-- What? - Charlie, what--? - Hang on, please. - Margaret, I need to speak to Leo. - He's in a meeting with Oliver Babish. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, I need to speak to him right now, please. Tell him it's an old friend from home. You sure? Yeah. He's acting a little pissy, wouldn't you say? - You're a little pissy too, my friend. - Well, I'm pissed. - No kidding. - You weren't when you found out? - I was, but then I remembered. - What? That I'm a drunk, and he didn't give a damn. - You guys gonna go public? - I don't know. - What do you think? - Not up to me. - Up to the policy advisers. - I think you're about to be one of them. - I don't know if I'm staying yet. - You're staying. - Why? - I'm running the show, and I picked you. - I didn't bring you here for amicus briefs. - Leo-- In the two hours we've been sitting here have you discovered one thing that he's done wrong? - No. - So, what's your problem? That's my problem, Leo. Are you out of your mind? He did everything right. He did everything you do if your intent is to perpetrate a fraud. Come in. Mr. McGarry, Margaret called to say Charlie Young needs to speak with you. I can't right now. It'll have to wait. She said to mention something about an old friend from home. I'll be right back. What is it? Charlie, you can talk to me. What is it? - Charlie-- - When Zoey and Ellie went to college. When they went to college, they would have had to fill out a health form. - What are you--? - The form asks for a number of things. Including a complete family medical history. God. Charlie. How did you know he was sick? How did you know that the president was sick? - Charlie-- - Leo if you're under 18 when you start as a freshman. If you're under 18, you need a parent's signature. Okay. - I'm sorry-- - It's okay-- - I just thought it was-- - You absolutely did the right thing. Okay. Okay. Go back to work. Margaret. I need to see all of Zoey Bartlet's admissions paperwork for Georgetown. I don't think they'll release that. No, you call Pat Carr, the family lawyer, and you tell him I want it. - Can I tell him why? - Just get it right now, would you? Josh was in the Roosevelt Room meeting last Thursday? - Yes. - And do you recall him - talking to you about what went on? - I don't know. He might have. - It's important. - I'll try and remember. Somebody might have overheard you talking to him. There's so much to remember. - Are you okay? - I'm just-- I'll be fine. And you yourself didn't talk to anybody, did you? - Donna? - C. J. , I can't-- - What? - I can't lie like this anymore. - Was it you? - I feel horrible. I should've said something before, but I was afraid-- - It's okay. - No, let me get this off my chest. - It was me. I called Terry Cashin. - Why? I don't know. Why doe's anybody do anything? - What are you talking about? - I'm a madwoman. - It doe'sn't stop with the leak. - What? Call the authorities. Send them to my parents' house. Why? They'll find the Lindbergh baby in the basement. Also some Post-its reminding me where I put Jimmy Hoffa. - Get out! - I framed Roger Rabbit. Get out! - I'm going to the place. Want a salad? - Thanks. Carol! Did you confess? She didn't let me get to Whittaker Chambers and the secret pumpkin. You got a phone call. - From who? - Europe in 1939. - Yeah? - Yeah, I jotted it down. They're at war, but we've taken a firm stand as an isolationist nation and refuse to get involved. Our resources are ours. Their problems are on the other side of the world. Though they do have problems. It sounds to me that France, Austria and England are getting absolutely pounded by the Germans and with no end in sight. They say that by 1941, they'll desperately need our help if they have any chance of survival, but I think they're being hysterical. This son of a customs agent with the Chaplin mustache ain't going anywhere. There's no telling that to Franklin Roosevelt who's trying to convince his country they need to get involved. That's why he came up with this. - An 8th grade social studies textbook? - Turn to the page I flagged. - The Lend-Lease Act. - Yeah. Simply put, a loan of arms to Russia and Britain that they'd pay back when the war was over. And he said, "If your neighbor's house is on fire you don't haggle over the price of a garden hose. " Frank Kelly in South Carolina wouldn't-- There are too many things in the world we can't do. Mexico's on fire. Why help them? Because we can. - Did they agree to the money? - Yeah. Okay. You shouldn't feel bad about this. - Everyone hates me. - No. They'll get over it. - You think? - Sure, you're just doing your job. - That's exactly right. - And this is really important. You're the first one who's understood that. Mind if I give you a suggestion that may make this go faster? Sure. If you dunk the suspect in a deep well of water and they drown - it means they're not a witch. - All right, that's it. I saw Lizzie Proctor speaking with the devil! Shut up! covering close to 100 square miles. Ten thousand blue and horseshoe crabs are dead. That's a $25 million industry that can start looking for jobs at the Dairy Queen. "Twelve thousand five hundred starfish, flounder and bass. economy based on beach communities. " You ever wonder why you never hear about a boatload of Honda Civics spilling into the ocean? What? - Were you listening? - Yeah. No. I'm sorry, no. - Excuse me. Sam, would you mind? - No. It's me. Okay? I am Spartacus. - Look-- - It was a leak. Leaks happen. They've happened since the beginning of time. In this White House, in every White House. There's no malicious intent. Things get out. It's a company town. Everybody talks to everybody. Junior staffers try to impress reporters by showing they're in the know. There is no group of people this large in the world that can keep a secret. I find it comforting. It's how I know for sure the government isn't covering up aliens in New Mexico. Toby, I've issued a blanket e-mail to 1100 staffers about the incident. I've asked the president to let me make a clarification tomorrow. I've seen to it it'll be on page one. We're not gonna lose an inch of ground in the negotiation. No, we'renot. No, we'renot. And you knew that since this morning. Yes, I did. Yeah. So, what's this about? This is small potatoes. I want to know, when the big potatoes come, are we up for it? Big potatoes? Toby, we ran for election, we lived through Leo and *** . . Sam and prostitutes, India and Pakistan Colombia and a failed rescue mission, are there bigger potatoes someplace? No. - Toby? - Yeah? - Why are you lying to me? - I'm not. Thanks for doing that stuff today. It was-- Thanks. Sit down. Don't be scared. My youngest daughter's got a big mouth. No, she doe'sn't, sir. She wanted me to be on the lookout for certain physical signs so I could tell the first lady. We won't discuss this anymore for the time being. It'll be public soon enough. The more conversations you have with me the more lawyers you're gonna have to talk to. They bill in an hour what you take home in a week. So we won't discuss it except to say this: You're gonna be subpoenaed. I'm confident in your loyalty to me. I'm confident in your love for me. If you lie to protect me, if you lie just once if you lie just a little, if you lie because you can't stand what's happening to me and the people making it happen if you ever, ever lie you're finished with me, you understand? Yes, sir. Say you understand. I understand, sir. Go back to work. Yes, sir. Is there anything you need? I need you to go to law school and graduate as soon as humanly possible. Yes, sir. - Good evening, Mr. President. - Well, I've got good news for you. Turns out I didn't do everything right after all. Zoey had to fill out a family history form for Georgetown and because she was 17, a parent had to sign it. - And she left off the MS? - Yeah. - And you signed it? - I'd give anything if I had. It was Lady Macbeth. There's a bad moon rising, Oliver. We both know it. They're gonna take me out for a walk. This isn't what you signed up for. Leo begged you to take this job, and this isn't what you signed up for. If you leave, I'd appreciate if you did it now so that it doe'sn't look like my lawyer bailed on me when the rain starts. No one's gonna hold it against you. Well, I appreciate that, Mr. President. If I stay, will you do exactly what I tell you to do? - I guess it depends. - No, I'm afraid it can't depend, sir. What would my first step be? First, tell your staff. Then decide how to make a public announcement. Then order the attorney general to appoint a special prosecutor. Not just any special prosecutor. The most blood-spitting, Bartlet-hating Republican in the bar. He's gonna have an unlimited budget and a staff like an army. The new slogan around here is gonna be "Bring it on. " He'll have access to every piece of paper you ever touched. If you invoke executive privilege one time, I'm gone. An assistant DA in Ducksworth wants to take your deposition, you're there. A freshman congressman wants your testimony, you'll sit in his kitchen. They wanna drag you to The Hague and charge you with war crimes what do we say? Bring it on. I'll be in my office for a while if you need me.