A.N.T. Farm S3E16 - English Transcript

1 Previously on a. N. T. Farm The name is Ticonderoga. Dixon Ticonderoga. So, Olive, how about we take my helicopter and go grab some dinner in Sonoma? I'd love to. Olive, this is my girlfriend, Oksana. Oksana, this is my ex-girlfriend, Olive. Ex-girlfriend? Oops. I skipped that part, didn't I? Olive? Are you feeling better? I'll never find another guy! Look, I know we fight all the time, but I'm always here for you. What just happened? Your face bumped into my lips! No, you kissed me! And I don't feel like vomiting. Me neither. What is happening? Uh Hello, Fletcher. Lovely weather we're having. Hello, Olive. How are your stocks performing? Okay, this is just weird. Although my stocks are actually doing quite well, thank you. Sorry, I guess I'm just a little freaked out after the Lip touching thing. Yeah, that, uh, lip touching thing was Unexpected. Unexpected like winning the lottery? Or unexpected like getting mauled by a bear? Though lottery winner's experience an immediate sense of euphoria, it often devolves into a miserable existence marred by alienation, lawsuits, and broken relationships. While bear attack survivors, on the other hand, often develop a new appreciation and zest for life. So kissing you was as good as being mauled by a bear. Thanks, Olive. That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Hey, guys. What's going on? Uh Help! Olive's trying to steal my wallet! What? You were just About to blow my scary stranger whistle on you! Okay. I am not going to let another Fletcher-Olive argument ruin my perfect day. I won a package of pencils in the student lottery! Hey, Chyna. Can I have a pencil? Look, Angus. Everyone's been asking me for pencils, and I already sent three home to my family. Look, I'm so sorry, but I just can't. Fine, Chyna! I thought we were friends! You know, having pencils has changed you. Ooh, ooh doo, doo ooh, ooh doo, doo Whoo! Everybody's got that thing something different we all bring don't you let 'em clip your wings you got it you got it we're on fire and we blaze in extraordinary ways 365 days we got it we got it you can dream it you can be it if you can feel it you can believe it 'cause I am, you are, we are exceptional exceptional yeah, I am, you are, we are exceptional exceptional ooh, ooh, ooh ooh, ooh Whoo! Hey, Olive. I'm sorry I accused you of stealing my wallet in front of Chyna. Yeah, I did not appreciate that. First of all, I don't steal. I just needed to borrow some lunch money. Second of all, it's really more of a ladies' change purse. You actually took my change Wallet? I was just covering because I didn't want Chyna to know that you and I are What are we now? Labels aren't important. All that matters is that your money is my money now. Wait. Why don't you want Chyna to know about us? Well, we're all such good friends. I just don't want things between us to be weird. I say when she's around, we just pretend like everything between us is the way it always was. So be viciously mean to each other? Exactly. Hey, guys. Look at this. I have even less pencil than I did before I won the lottery. Well, at least that pencil is sharper than Fletcher! Yeah? Well, you punch like a girl! A very powerful girl! That's enough! I've watched you fight for three years. This has got to stop. And I know just how to do it. Lock us in a room together, alone, and leave us there for hours? Yeah! Just the two of us, alone, having a make up session. Actually, I have a better idea This is your better idea? The z-walk? You know I'm acrophobic! And I'm falling-to-my-death- and-ending-up-a-bloody-stain to-be-eaten by-crows-aphobic! I can't believe tourists actually pay good money to do this! I am definitely not buying the souvenir photo! Look, you two need to learn how to get along. And the strongest emotional connections are forged between people who survive life or death situations together. War buddies, bank hostages, members of a bear attack survivors group. Gah! She's proven her point with an interesting factoid! This is the best book I've ever read. Hey, Lexi. Can't you see I'm reading? Oh! This is the best part! Oh, no, this is the best part! This book just keep getting better and better! Don't you have any interests besides yourself? Yeah. I like reading. Besides, there are no cool activities at this school. Actually, there are a number of fascinating clubs you can join here. In fact, I'm heading out right now to a meeting of the dating club. Dating club? I'll join that. Let me just finish my book. Wow! I did not see that ending coming. I loved it! Okay, okay! It worked! Olive and I are friends now. But we haven't gotten to the danger part yet. We haven't? Maybe you'd care more about Fletcher if you lost him forever! No! See? You care. He's dead! Fletcher is dead! No, he isn't. While you two were peeing your windpants, the roomavator moved to ground level. Fletcher fell two feet. Yeah. Into the cactus garden. Fletcher! Oh, thank goodness you're alive! And ow! Wow. This worked even better than I thought it would. Wait. What's going on here? Okay, the truth is Fletcher and I are a couple now. What? What? You're going out with my Olive? I'm here for the dating club. This is the dating club? Yeah! Carbon dating. We measure the levels of carbon decay to determine the age of fossils and other unearthed remains. Like this partially decomposed australopithecus skeleton. You're dating him? Well, I guess he's a step up from Fletcher. This club is stupid! How is this club we found next to australopithecus stupid? It's evidence of rudimentary tool making! I mean this school needs some fun activities. Like a cheerleading squad. Which this now officially is! Can she do that? Yeah, I think she can. Now! First order of business, I nominate myself as head cheerleader. Anyone want to second the nomination? I will! She's gorgeous! It's okay, I forgive you. High five? So you guys are dating each other? No, we're going out. I know how old he is without measuring his level of carbon decay. By the way, I hope you know I'm missing a very important club meeting for this. I am so happy for you guys. You're my two best friends. Why would you keep it secret from me? Well, that was Fletcher's idea. That's weird. Fletcher had an idea? He's never had an idea before. What would motivate you to have an idea? I have no idea. Anyway, I'm glad you're not upset. That's why Fletcher didn't want to tell you about us! He's still in love with you! What are you talking about? You kept it a secret, too. Not just from you, from everyone! I'm dating Fletcher! It's humiliating! But Fletcher dating zazow? He should want to tell the whole world! Olive, don't be silly. You're looking for problems where they don't exist. That's what I do! Look, I just don't want to get hurt again like when Dixon dumped me. I need to know for sure if Fletcher is still in love with you and there's only one way to find out. Well, from that crazed look in your eye, I'm guessing that way is not just asking him? Of course not! The obvious approach is for you to tempt Fletcher by flirting with him while I watch. Are you crazy? What kind of question is that? You see the look in my eye? Hey, Angus. What's up? Olive is the love of my life! How could you? I'm sorry, it just happened. But, to be fair, I don't think you ever really had any shot with her. Well, if you stole the girl I never had any shot with, then I'll steal the girl you never had any shot with! You'll have to be more specific. That could literally be any girl. I'm talking about Chyna. You? Go out with Chyna? Yup. I'm not going to enjoy it, and she's not going to enjoy it, but most of all, you're not going to enjoy it! It's one of those "lose, lose, lose" situations where everybody wins. Except you! And me. And Chyna! I really do not want to flirt with Fletcher. Why, he's not cute enough for you? No, he's cute. You think he's cute? He is my boyfriend, Chyna! Hands off! Now go try to steal him from me. Hey, Fletcher. I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies or something. Sorry, I can't. I have plans with Olive. Okay, no problem. There. Satisfied? No! You call that flirting? No wonder you don't have a boyfriend. Well You need to make more of an effort. Make yourself impossible to resist. Like how? Like this. Now that you have the look down, you need to work on your flirting skills. Pretend I'm Fletcher. Okay. Fletcher, get out of my room! Flirt with me! Okay! Hey there, Fletcher. We've been ignoring this mutual attraction for too long. I think it's time we stop pretending and just go for it. What the heck was that? That was terrible! You didn't mention one interesting factoid! We have a lot of work to do. Lexi, do we really have to do this? - Yes! I am determined to have some fun at this school. But don't worry. Cheerleading is easy. Watch. Cheerleading is cool give it a try because if you don't I'll make you cry! So stop your sulking quit your whining or your tombstones I'll be designing yay threats! Well, you do make it sound fun. Let's try it. Give me a z! Z! Hey! Stop that! Only the head cheerleader gets to say, "give me a letter!" Letter! Guys, you need to focus! And I don't mean the lenses on your microscope. Lexi's right. I guess we could cheer at the big game tomorrow. There's a big game? Is it football? Or basketball? Computer programming! The z-tech zebras take on the silicon valley tesla coils in head-to-head fortran coding action! Give me a break! Break! Okay! There's Fletcher. Now, remember, stick to the script. Now work it, girl! Hey! Hey, Chyna. New look? Yeah. Speaking of looks, you look really good in those orange jeans. Interesting factoid about jeans, or denim dungarees Although originally designed for cowboys, starting in the 1950s, they became popular with continued on other arm. Oh. Teenagers. Chyna, I see what you're up to. I'm not up to anything. I'm just the same old Chyna. This is what I'm like. Zazow. Obviously, you got yourself all gussied up in those come hither clothes and are whispering sweet factoids into my ear to impress me. Sorry, Chyna, you missed the boat. It's Olive's boat now. I'm the boat. Okay then. Good. You don't have to put on a brave face for me. I know how you feel. Believe it or not, there was a time I had a huge crush on a girl and she didn't like me back. You don't say. But her not liking me was the best thing that could have happened. I ended up with someone so much better than her. Someone cuter, sweeter, smarter Well, I bet the first girl was really cute and sweet and smart, too. No. Not really. Anyway, hope that makes you feel better! Wow. He is really over you. I told you. Now, uh, I'm just gonna go cry into my Teddy bear. Did you see that? Chyna was flirting with me. Obviously, Olive put her up to it. She was just using Chyna to test you. What? I can't believe Olive was manipulating me. Two can play at that game. Actually, "manipulation" is a game for three to eight players. It's also for ages 10 and up. I'm 14. You're 14? I just thought you were a second grader that draws well. All right, handsome, you can do this. Pretend you're attracted to Chyna. It won't be easy, but you must make Fletcher suffer. Wow, you look like Olive! Go away, Angus. Wow, you sound like Olive! Well, here's something else Olive would do. Indeed! The hunt is on! Hey, my ol-love. I got you a present for our two day anniversary. Aw, you didn't have to do that, even though I expressly told you you had to. What'd you get me? Clothes? Yeah! Put 'em on. You want me to wear this? Don't worry. It'll look even better with the necklace. Uh I don't understand why you want me to dress like this. I just think it makes you look more attractive. In fact, to complete the look But now my hair has two colors! How will I accurately fill out government forms? You got no game! You probably got a c+ in c++! Hey! The only c+ I ever got was in trash-talking class! So take that you Worthy opponent. Come on, guys. Angus needs our support. Time for our first cheer. Just give it your best shot and look alive. Especially you, australopithecus! We're z-tech we're coding our mad skills are exploding be afraid feel the terror oh, look you made a syntax error go z-tech! What in the name of pom-poms was that steaming pile of herkie? Your rhythm was off, your arms were flailing, and, worst of all, you momentarily blocked my face! I am sick of you nerdy, worthless weirdos! Here's your next routine Punch yourselves in the face! Because I don't have time to go around and do it to each and every one of you losers! Wow. I know we weren't very good, but I thought australopithecus nailed it. Calling all the monsters calling all the monsters calling all the calling all the calling all the monsters Do I really have to sing? I'm really more of a rapper, or "urban poet. " Holla! - Hey, Fletcher. - Hey, Chyna. Wait. I see what's going on here, Fletcher. You're trying to make me look Way less pretty so no one else will want me! What? Come on. The ridiculous outfit, the comically oversized necklace, the low-status, dead-end profession of musician! No! I'm trying to turn you into Chyna. I knew you were still in love with her! Well, can you blame him? He's not just going to wake up one day and get over No, she means nothing to me! Okay, then. I figured out you were testing me, so I gave you a taste of your own medicine. Well, according to the American college of clinical pharmacology, you should only ever taste your own medicine! Guys! Can't you see this is a good thing? You never would've done this if you didn't really like each other. That's why you got so upset when you, very understandably, thought Fletcher was still in love with me. And you got upset because Olive used my irresistibility to tempt you. I see So what you're saying is, we shouldn't be mad at each other. Right. We should be mad at you. Right What? Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Wow. Denial, inability to take responsibility There's only one way to work through your issues. Come on! Don't leave me out here alone! Oh You're not alone! Guys! Look at this! The school is making me go to anger management. Can you believe this herkie? Why would anyone think I need help managing my anger? That makes me so angry! Anyway, I'll see you guys after anger management. So not only did I lose the stupid programming competition, but Fletcher Fletcher is dating my Olive! Oh! Oh, oh! And Chyna wouldn't go out with me! Or give me a pencil! Why didn't anyone tell me about this club? It's awesome!