Evil Mechanism of Alec Revealed! Absurdity Today! Episode 24

Welcome to Absurdity Today, I’m Julianna Forlano A Massive Iceberg 'Twice the Size of Manhattan' Broke Off Greenland and started floating off shore. Upon hearing about this offshore mass, Mitt Romney immediatiately tried hiding a million dollars on it. New Jersey Catholics are flocking to what they say is the miraculous apparition of the *** Mary’s image in a tree trunk. This knot in a young ginko tree DOES in fact, resemble the famous picture of the *** of Guadalupe in her cloak. It also looks like a ***. Google unveiled its newest product, Google Fiber , an internet connection that does what all Fiber is supposed to do- make everything travel smooth and fast. The serivce is supposed to be the fastest in the country, was rolled out in Kansas and Missouri, after a two-year-long contest to determine what places would need super speed the least. Construction on the New World Trade Center was halted at the 8th out of 80 planned floors because the building can't find even one tenant. The Wall Street Journal attributes this to a poor economic climate because to them there is nothing in this at the ad: Spacious office complex available on the historic site of a national tragedy. Book now so you can get a space on an easily exitable lower floor! Act now and we’ll throw in a negative energy clearing and terrorist ghost excercism with the closing costs. Reports are saying that the Aurora shooter was taking exhorbinant amounts of prescription medication. His doctors could not be reached for comment, as they were on a cruise paid for by Elly lilly. On a conservative Evangelical Christian radio show, evangelical spokesperson Jerry Newcombe said that only the Christian victims of the Aurora shooting will be going to heaven. The others will be going to a place where there are no evangelical Christians- aka. Heaven. An Australian study found that the fastest rate an organism can evolve into a completely new species is 6,000 years. Conversely, de-evolution only take 8 minutes of watching Fox News. According to some new research, Having a dog in the home can help ward off infections in very young infants. And we are talking about a real dog, not just your aunt Beatrice. Mitt Romney traveled overseas to make the case that President Obama has weakened foreign leaders opinion of America with a policy of appeasement . Romney promises that, if elected, foreign leaders can expect what they’d gotten used to from the US before OBAMA….thats right, another (BLEEP). Romney got a lot of negative press on his visit to London. His campaign says they are not worried about what was printed clearly forgetting that in other countries, people can still read. Last July, hundreds the right wing lobbying group ALEC (*** literally evicerating civizalization) (American Legislative Exchange Council) Hundred’s of ALEC’s proposed bills we leaked, exposing its nationwide conservative corportist agenda. Corporations started distancing themselves from the group, and this week General Motors and Walgreens Corporations have announced they too are cutting ties . Will ALEC splinter apart completely? If so, where does the evil go? Will it just evaporate? I don’t think so…..