The Moo Family Holiday Hoedown

FUNDING FOR THIS PROGRAM IS MADE POSSIBLE BY: AND BY ANNUAL FINANCIAL SUPPORT FROM: AND NOW MOO TV IS PROUD TO PRESENT LIVE FROM THE BEAUTIFUL ISLAND OF COWAII... STARRING THAT COWLOSSAL FAMILY OF FAME THE MOO FAMILY! AND A VERY SPECIAL GUEST SANTA COW... AND HIS ACE SLED JOCKEY CHUCK STEAKER! LET'S GIVE A BIG HOOF TO YOUR HOST FOR THE EVENING THAT BARNYARD FUNNY GUY THE CHUCKLE CHICKEN HIMSELF ME! CHICK BANTAM! THANK YOU. I KNOW. BUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE. AND NOW...LET'S KICK OFF THIS STEER-STUDDED EXTRAVAGANZA WITH BOVINE COUNTY'S OWN MOOSIC MAKERS THE MARRRVELOUS MOO FAMILY! ♪ WELCOME, EVERYBODY ♪ TO OUR HOLIDAY HOE-DOWN, WE'RE THE ♪ MOO FAMILY. ( laughs ) ♪ WE'RE HERE TO SING AND PLAY ♪ COME JOIN US IN OUR SONG ♪ FOLLOW OUR GRANDPA'S LEAD ¶ HE'LL NEVER STEER YOU WRONG. ( laughs ) ♪ DECK THE STALLS WITH COWS SO JOLLY ( chuckles ) DECK THE STALLS WITH COWS... Y'ALL, I LOVE THAT. TAKE IT, GRAMOO! WON'T TOUCH THIS! THAT'S FOR SURE. ( laughter ) ♪ WE THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW ♪ IT'S ONE COWLOSSAL SHOW ♪ WITH SPECIAL GUESTS AND MOOSIC ♪ AND WE'LL VISIT SANTA COW ♪ WE'RE SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU WITH US ♪ FOR OUR BIG COWAIIAN SHOW. ♪ TINSEL-COVERED PALM TREES ♪ AND LOTS OF PHONY SNOW YEOW! OHH! OH, BULLDACIOUS! HA! STAMPEDE! HOTLICKS! HUH! AW. GRRR. WHOA. BAD MOOS. ♪ THE MOO FAMILY. WHERE'S BABY MOO? THERE SHE IS! DON'T MOOVE, BABY MOO! DADDY'S GOTCHA. UH-OH. AH! ( cheers and whistles ) ( mooing; braying ) OH, MY GOODNESS. AREN'T THEY MARVELOUS. LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE MOO FAMILY! DADDY DEAR YOU WERE MMMARVELOUS-- WAAH! BULLDACIOUS, POP! ( whistles ) OH! STEERIFIC! I'M TALKING COWLOSSAL! MY FAVORITE MOOSICAL FAMILY. WHAT A COINCIDENCE, CHICK. MINE, TOO! ( chuckles: ) WHAT DO YOU KNOW? IT'S MELVIN THE MUSTANG! ( cheers and applause ) SAY, MELVIN, DID YOU LIKE THAT CHRISTMAS SONG? DID I! IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE SINGING A REAL MULETIDE CAROL! GO AHEAD THEN, BIG BOY. I'M SURE EVERYONE WOULD JUST LOVE TO HEAR IT. NORMALLY I WOULD, CHICK BUT TODAY I'M A LITTLE HORSE! ( laughs: ) YOU'RE SLAYING ME. A LITTLE HORSE TODAY. ( laughs ) T-BONE, WHAT IN THE THUNDERIN' HERD WERE YOU DOING WITH THOSE AMPLIFIERS? AND THAT HAIR? OH, IT'S JUST A LITTLE COWLICK, DADDY. IT'LL GO RIGHT DOWN. HMPH! WELL, THAT'S BETTER. YOU JUST BETTER MAKE SURE IT STAYS LIKE THAT! COOL. THAT DOES IT. I'M PUTTING MY HOOF DOWN! HOLY COW, POP. YOU'RE ALWAYS BUSTING MY CHOPS. YOU JUST GET RID OF THAT HAIR AND...AND THOSE AMPLIFIERS! THEY'RE TOTALLY USELESS, SON. USELESS! ALL RIGHT. KEEP YOUR HORNS ON. DON'T HAVE A HUMAN, MAN. I SAID, "HE MAY BE A SNOWMAN TO YOU BUT TO ME HE'S JUST A BIG FLAKE!" JUST A FLAKE. STOP IT NOW! THANK YOU. AND MELVIN THANKS YOU DON'T YOU, MELVIN? OH, THANK YOU! O.K. THAT'S ENOUGH. THANK YOU! THAT'S ENOUGH! ENOUGH! - ( drum roll ) - AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE BIGGEST STORY OF THE SEASON SANTA'S INCREDIBLE NEW... TURBO-SLEIGH. OH, BOY. SANTY! SHUT UP! HEH HEH. WE'LL BE GOING LIVE VIA SADDLE-LITE HOOKUP TO THE NORTH POLE WHERE WE'LL MEET THAT OTHER FAMOUS MOO FAMILY STAR THE CREAM de la CREAM, THE LOVELY...PATTY MOO! THANK YOU, CHICK. FOLKS, I AM JUST UDDERLY DELIGHTED TO BE HERE THIS CHRISTMAS EVE WITH SANTA COW AND HIS ACE PILOT, CHUCK STEAKER. IN JUST A FEW MINUTES WE ARE GOING TO WITNESS THE FIRST PUBLIC FLIGHT OF YOUR AMAZING NEW SLEIGH. RIGHT, SANTA? HO HO HO! YOU ARE CORRECT, PATTY! ( laughs ) THE AMAZING CHUCK HERE ENGINEERED THIS BRAND-NEW TECHNOLOGICAL MARVEL. HA HA! THAT IS SO IMPRESSIVE, CHUCK BUT NOT SURPRISING FOR A WORLD-CLASS TEST PILOT. IT'S NOT THE TECHNOLOGY TH MATTERS, PATTY. IT'S THE SLED JOCKEY WHO MAKES THEM. YES! WAIT'LL YOU SEE THIS MARVELOUS NEW CRAFT, PATTY. IT'S BUILT TO THE MOST PRECISE AND EXACTING TOLERABLE TOLERANCES AND SPECIFIC SPECIFICATIONS! ACTUALLY, MOST OF IT'S STRUNG TOGETHER WITH BAILING WIRE AND SPARE TRACTOR PARTS. OH, MY. OF COURSE, HE'S TESTED THE NEW SLEIGH THOROUGHLY OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER-- DIDN'T REALLY HAVE TIME FOR TESTS. THIS'LL BE OUR FIRST TIME UP. WHAT? YES! ( laughs ) AND AS CHUCK SAID, THIS WILL--WHAT? FIRST TIME! ARE YOU NUTS? AHEM. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THIS IS EXCITING. THE FIRST PUBLIC UNVEILING OF SANTA'S BRAND-NEW, STATE-OF-THE-BARN TURBO-SLEIGH! OH. GEE. IT LOOKS QUITE A BIT LIKE SANTA'S OLD NON-TURBO SLEIGH. ONLY TO THE UNTRAINED EYE, PATTY. OBSERVE. OH, MY. IT'S...IT'S... IT--IT'S... IT'S...IT'S... TRANSMOOGRIFYING. NOW LET'S SEE WHAT THIS HEIFER CAN DO. ( engine starting ) Patty: THERE HE GOES! WHAT AN INCREDIBLE TAKEOFF! OH, DEAR. A STEERIFIC SET OF BARREL ROLLS AND A DARING LOOP-DE-LOOP! WHY, WHY, OH, YES. YES! VERY COWMENDABLE INDEED! ( laughs ) ( sputtering ) UH, UH-OH. WAIT A MINUTE. THE SLEIGH IS LOSING ALTITUDE. Santa: YES! YES! NO. NO! Chuck: HAYDAY. HAYDAY. HAYDAY. I'VE LOST CONTROL. HAYDAY! OH, MY. THIS IS TERRIBLE! SANTA'S NEW TURBO-SLEIGH HAS GONE HAYWIRE! CAN IT BE THAT SANTA AND CHUCK WILL BE GROUNDED FOREVER? Chuck: WHOOOOA, NELLIE! Chick: ( imitates morse code ) ( imitates morse code ) MOOS FLASH! MOOS FLASH. WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR THIS IMPORTANT MOOS BULLETIN. CHUCK STEAKER IS... MISSING! SANTA'S ACE SLED JOCKEY AND HIS NEW TURBO-SLEIGH HAVE DISAPPEARED OVER THE ARCTIC OCEAN. AND EVERYONE HERE IS DOING THEIR PART TO PITCH IN. RIGHT, T-BONE? CORRECTAMOONDO, CHICK. I'M SEARCHING FOR CHUCK WITH THIS-- MY HAM RADIO. TO HELP CLARIFY THE COMPLEXITIES OF THIS URGENT SITUATION WE'VE CALLED IN OUR SCIENCE EXPERT DR. ALBERT HOLSTEEN. ( muttering ) DR. ALBERT HOLSTEEN! AH. WHAT? WHAT! THAT'S HOLSTEIN! ( wheezing ) O.K., MY BOY. WHERE WAS I? FIRST, WE'VE GOTTA ANALYZE THIS PREDICKLE-A-MENT. DIS IS HOW THE WHOLE MESS GOT STARTED. FIRST, THE ONE COW JUMPS OVER THE MOOON. ZAPPO. HE'S OVER THE MOON. THAT'S ONE COW. SO DEN WE GET ZIS HOTSY-TOTSY PILOT COWMELIA EARHORN HERE. SHE INVENTED BARNSTORMING, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW. VAT DOES SHE DO? SHE GOES A-FLYING AND A-FLYING-- ALWAYS WITH THE FLYING AND FLAPPING-- OH, GREAT. VE'RE CAUGHT ON THE HORNS OF A DILEMMA. OHH! O.K., NOW. SO SHE GETS LOST. O.K. THAT'S TWO COWS! SO, DEN, LIKE IF DAT VASN'T ENOUGH, AND APPARENTLY IT VASN'T, VE GET THESE ROCKET SHIPS AT CAPE COWNAVERAL, UND THEY'RE LAUNCHING THESE PASTURENAUTS ONTO DER MOOON. COWS DIS VAY, FLYING DAT VAY! COWS FOR DAYS! ZIPPING ALL OVER. TALK ABOUT BEEF JERKY. SOON GRAVITY GETS CONFUSED WHICH CAUSES A MOOTATION IN THE TIME/SPACE CONTINUUM. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? I THINK IT MEANS CHRISTMAS GETS ONE DAY AHEAD OF ITSELF. SO EVERY YEAR, CHRISTMAS VILL BE TOMORROW! BUT IT VILL NEVER ARRIVE, FOR CRYING OUT SAKES! UND DAT IS A COWTASTROPHE! UH, YEAH. WELL, THANK YOU, PROFESSOR HOLSTEEN. THAT'S HOLSTEIN! STEIN. FINE. AND NOW, LET'S RETURN TO-- HEY, WAIT. I GOT SOMETHING! THERE'S A HAYDAY CALL ON THE RADIO! I THINK IT'S CHUCK. AND HE'S CLOSE, TOO! Chuck: HAYDAY. HAYDAY. CAN YOU READ ME, GOOD BUDDY? OVER. WAIT. DAT'S IMPOSSCIBIBBLE. ACCORDING TO MY COWCULATIONS RIGHT NOW CHUCK IS SOMEWHERE OVER THE HORN OF AFRICOW. OR HE COULD BE NEAR THE MOOSSISSIPPI RIVER. CHECK IT OUT! ALL RIGHT! BUT DEN AGAIN, MAYBE HE'S IN COWLIFORNIA. Chuck: HAYDAY. CAN YOU READ ME? THAT'S GOTTA BE HIM! IT IS HIM! HE'S COMING RIGHT AT US! T-BONE'S RIGHT. EVERYBODY MOOOVE IT! ( crowd screaming ) BUT DER'S ALWAYS DA POSSCIBILITY CHUCK COULD EVEN BE IN ISTANBULL. BUT THERE'S UDDERLY NO POSSCIBLE WAY HE COULD BE HERE IN-- HUH? COWABUNGA! OOH! I'M OUTTA HERE! DA-DA. HOLY COW. ALL RIGHT. WHEW BOY. OH! OH! CHECK IT OUT. ♪ SADDLE THE WINDS, AND THEY GO ♪ INTO THE WILD THING... LOOK, IT'S CHUCK STEAKER! STRAIGHTEN THAT SAILOR, MISTER. THAT'S ARMY PROPERTY. ( gasping ) OH! HE'S O.K.! OH, THAT'S SO COOL! BULLDACIOUS LANDING, DUDE! ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT? ME? NO PROBLEMOO. OH, YEAH? I'D SAY BIG PROBLEMOO. WHOA. LOOKS LIKE THIS BABY IS TOAST. ON THE CONTRARY, SON. THIS TEST FLIGHT OPPORTUNITY HAS ALLOWED ME TO PINPOINT A MALFUNCTIONING SYSTEM. AHA! THE CATTLE-LYTIC CONVERTER. THAT'S RIGHT. AND WITH A LITTLE SCIENTIFIC ASSISTANCE FROM YOU, DOC WE COULD HAVE HER FLYING IN NO TIME. WHAT DO YOU SAY? I'LL BE GLAD TO HELP, ONCE I REGAIN CONSCIOUSNESS BUT YOU'D STILL NEED AN AWESOME POWER SOURCE TO GET HER OFF THE GROUND. HMM. AWESOME POWER... AWESOME POWER SOURCE... HEY! MY AMPLIFIERS! THEY'RE, LIKE, MEGA-POWERED! T-BONE, DON'T INTERRUPT THE MAN TALKING ABOUT THOSE USELESS CONTRAPTIONS. THEY'LL NEVER BE WORTH-- DID YOU SAY AMPLIFIERS? WHY, SON, THOSE AMPS COULD HELP ME SAVE CHRISTMAS. UH, LIKE I'VE ALWAYS SAID A-AMPLIFIERS ARE THE, UH, THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE. ( chuckles ) MAYBE WE SHOULD BRING IN THE AUTOMOOBILE FOR SOME EXTRA POWER. I'M A STEP AHEAD OF YOU. GRANDPA'S ALREADY BRINGING IT. OH, GOOD. GRANDPA? OHH! WHOO HA HA! ( laughter ) WHEW! WATCH THAT FIRST STEP. IT'S A DOOZY. HA HA! HEY, YOU TWO! USE THE CROSSWALK, WHY DON'T YOU? HA HA! WHOA! WHOOOAAA! ( crashing ) WHOO. THERE YOU GO. PERFECT PARALLEL PARKING. OHHH! ( laughter ) ( Baby Moo babbles ) WHA? BOO! I'LL GET IT, POP. UH-OH. WHOOA! ( gurgling ) AND THIS IS THE LAST AMP. GIVE ME A HAND HERE, WILL YOU, SON? ME, SIR? I'D BE GLAD TO! OOH! AHHH! BABA...BABA... T-Bone: HERE...WE...GO! POWER'S ON ITS WAY, SIR... ( groans: ) I HOPE. I SUPPOSE THAT'S MY CUE. ALL RIGHT. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE STAMPEDE OUT OF HERE? HOLD YOUR HORSES, DERE! HAH! DIS GAUGE WILL HAVE TO REACH MAXIMUM COW-POWER FOR THE SLEIGH TO LAUNCH UP IN THE AIR. YOU REALLY HAVE TO HOOF IT, SON. ( babbling ) AH AH AH... OOH! I DON'T THINK I CAN...DO THIS! MOOVE OVER, SON. LET ME GIVE YOU A HELPING HOOF. ( both groaning ) HEY, THANKS, POP. YOU'RE ALL BULL! HUH? HOO! DA GAUGE IS GOING UPENZEE! OH, MY! AND SO IS BABY MOO! ( squealing ) UH-OH. HUH? WAIT, BABY BOO. I'LL SAVE YOU! UH-OH! AAH! ( muffled: ) SOMEBODY HELP GET THIS OFF OF ME! ( mumbling ) ( ♪ ♪ ♪ ) ( moaning ) POP! POP, ARE YOU O.K.? I'M O.K., SON. O.K.? HA! YOU'RE BULLDACIOUS! YOU DO LOOK VERY, UH MODERN, DEAR. BUT WHERE DID THAT SLEIGH GO? YEAH. WHERE'S CHUCK? Chuck: UP HERE! AHA! DIDN'T I MENTION I COULD FLY ANYTHING? ( gasps ) AN AMAZING DISCOMBOBULATED PHEROMONENOMENOMENON! DER EXPLOSION HAS MOOTATED DER SLEIGH UND DER AUTOMOOBILE INTO A SINGLE CONTRAPTION MIT HOVER POWER. AND A GREAT PAINT JOB. WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS, FOLKS. SANTA COW'S CHRISTMAS IS A GO. WHOO! ALL ABOARD. NEXT STOP, THE NORTH POLE. ( cheers and laughter ) SANTA COW, HERE WE COME! Chick: ♪ THREE FRENCH HENS ♪ TWO RHODE ISLAND REDS WHOA, BETTY. IT IS SO COLD MY BEAK IS CH-CH-CHATTERING. Betty: CHICK! You're on! WHAT? OH! WELCOME BACK TO THE MOO FAMILY HOLIDAY HOE-DOWN COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM... THE NORTH POLE! SANTA WAS IN BIG TROUBLE. YOU SAID A BEEKFUL, CHICK. ALL THOSE CALVES AND HEIFERS DIDN'T KNOW IF CHRISTMAS PRESENTS WOULD GET DELIVERED! THAT'S TRUE, MELVIN MOO TV IS DELIGHTED TO ANNOUNCE THAT SANTA WILL GO ON WITH HIS CHRISTMAS TOUR AS PLANNED THANKS TO THOSE DIVINE BOVINES... THE MOO FAMILY! ( electric banjo ) ♪ THE MOO ♪ FAMILY ♪ HOPE YOU LIKED OUR SHOW ♪ THE MOO ¶ FAMILY ♪ NOW WE'RE HELPIN' SANTA ♪ SO WE GOTTA GO MER-R-R-Y CHRISTMAS! ( laughs: ) AND A HAPPY MOO YEAR! YOU GET THE IDEA. ( laughs ) ♪ THE MOO-OOH ♪ FAMILY ♪ HERE THEY COME AGAIN ♪ THE MOO-OOH ♪ FAMILY ♪ MAKIN' MOOSIC WITH THEIR ♪ WORLD OF FRIENDS ♪ THE MOO-OOH ♪ FAMILY ♪ THE MOO-OOH ♪ FAMILY Captioning of this program is made possible by ACME Crime Net and the people who contribute to Public Television Stations Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation ( dog barks ) FUNDING FOR THIS PROGRAM IS MADE POSSIBLE BY: AND BY ANNUAL FINANCIAL SUPPORT FROM: