London Confidential - Meet the detective

[Host:] Good night, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the talk show of the series London Confidential. Tonight, we will interview mister Hyde Baker. Welcome, mister Baker. [Hyde:] Thank you, my dear friend host. [Host:] Mister Baker, the first question is: How are your parents called? How are they? And what do they do? [Hyde:] Those were THREE questions, my dear. But it's okay. My dad's called Robert Baker. He's a lumberjack, has always been the cranky one of the family. And he never liked to see me going out after mysteries when I pull pranks on him. For some reason, it was funny seeing him mad. [Host:] How about your mother? [Hyde:] My mom's called Charlotte Manson. She unfortunately didn't have a job because she took care of me and my sister when we were younger. She's always been responsible. [Host:] So, you have a sister? [Hyde:] Yes, I do! She's older than me. Just a second, Let me bring her here. Sister! [Chloe:] "Sister" schmister! I was busy shopping, you imbecile! [Hyde:] This... Is my... Sister... Chloe... [Host:] Well... Next question. How's the relationship between you and your family? [Hyde:] My dad, as I've already said before, doesn't have any patience with me, my sister never takes me seriously, and my cousin is a moron trying to prove that his toys can make miracles. [Spencer:] "Toys" my [beep] you [beep]! [Hyde:] My mom always supported me on my mystery hunts. I think she's the only one who loves me. [Host:] So, how was your childhood? [Hyde:] Ever since I started reading thriller books, I always went after mystery and action, and it's the only motivation I have to travel abroad. [Host:] How's your economic situation? [Chloe:] Ha, very difficult. [Hyde:] Excuse me, but it's MY interview! [Host:] How do you feel towards your sexuality? [Hyde:] Muy caliente. [Host:] Er... You have a partner, right? Do you two fight a lot? [Hyde:] Sometimes, especially when he talks about some urban lore that doesn't exist. I've already told you! Slenderman does NOT exist, you ***! [Hyde:] Hehe, talking about the devil! This is my partner, Boris Thompson. [Boris:] Where am I? [Hyde:] This dork believes in any lore. [Boris:] The "dork" is right behind you, you know. [Host:] How's your room? [Hyde:] Clean! [Boris:] Oh, please! You can barely get into his room. Hyde, Hyde, Hyde! I found out something very important! OH MY GOD! [Hyde:] Boris, is that you? It's just that I'm a bit buried under these papers. [Boris:] You don't say. [Host:] What are your hobbies? [Hyde:] Playing chess and collecting stamps. [Host:] What's your intellectual level? [Boris:] You've got to be kidding me. [Host:] What's your career? [Hyde:] I'm a detective. [Host:] What's your workplace? [Hyde:] Er... An office. [Host:] Do you have any goal in your job? [Hyde:] Being the most intelligent, of course. [Host:] What do your friends say about you? [Hyde:] Say it, Boris! [Boris:] Er... Hum... [Hyde:] Boris! [Hyde:] BORIS! [Host:] Is the question too hard? [Boris:] No offense, but you're too clumsy and poorly organised, Hyde. [Hyde:] I don't need your opinions! I have other friends, who know how to critique. [Boris:] Who? [Hyde:] George Dixon. [Boris:] Any other friend? [Hyde:] Of course, it's just that there's so many I can't remember. [Host:] Do you practice any sports? [Hyde:] Er... Tennis. [Host:] Do you take life seriously or do you act like a child most of the time? [Boris:] Actually, he just pretends to be an idiot to fool others to always get more clues about the crimes. [Hyde:] Yeah, go ahead and reveal all my secrets, you imbecile! [Host:] Well... That's all, folks! I hope you liked today's show! [Hyde:] Boris, let's find some crime. [Boris:] But today's my day off. You said it yourself. [Hyde:] I lied! [Boris:] FUUU--