Good Luck Charlie S2E29 - English Transcript

1 Great news, everybody! This year for once, I don't have to work on Thanksgiving. So we can all be together! And I can cook Thanksgiving dinner. - All right. - Yay. Okay, what happened there? Honey, come on, it's just that cooking Thanksgiving dinner is a lot of work. Yeah, are you sure we shouldn't just eat out? I mean, for your sake. No way. Every Thanksgiving I have to eat Turkey sandwiches. Out of the hospital vending machine. And you guys have to go to the old time buffet. This year we're gonna be together, And I am gonna cook. Old time buffet offers quality and value. Yeah, and their chicken fingers, mwah! Right? We are having dinner here and that is final. All right, okay. Actually, you know, I have a Thanksgiving announcement. This year we are going to be joined by grandpa. Grandpa Duncan. Yeah. Hurts, doesn't it? Oh, come on, you guys. - My dad has some good qualities. - Such as? You know what? He exhales carbon dioxide, which is needed by plants. All right, well, we've got bigger problems. Mom's cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Oh, no no no no no. The best chef in the house P. J. Is cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I am? She's never gonna let me. That's why you have to trick her. Give her the illusion that she's cooking, when in reality, You're the one doing all the work. Got it, got it. Just one question. What does illusion mean? Three words Cook Thanksgiving dinner. Right now? Relax, dad. Just messing with you. Oh, by the way, thanksgiving two words. today's all burnt toast ♪ running late and dad jokes ♪ "has anybody seen my left shoe?" ♪ I close my eyes, take a bite ♪ grab a ride, laugh out loud ♪ there it is up on the roof ♪ I've been there, I survived ♪ so just take my advice ♪ hang in there, baby, things are crazy ♪ but I know your future's bright ♪ hang in there, baby ♪ there's no maybe ♪ everything turns out all right ♪ sure life is up and down ♪ but trust me, it comes back around ♪ you're gonna love who you turn out to be ♪ hang in there, baby. ♪ What you drawing there, Charlie? A Turkey. - Are you sure? - Yeah. It looks a bit more like mashed potatoes. Look, big Thanksgiving sale at the gizmo hut. They're selling mytabs for $49? That's awesome! I know! But we have to get in line early. Because they'll only have So we have to wait in line on Thanksgiving day? Yes, the sale starts at midnight. Why did they have to make it so hard? All we wanna do is celebrate. The true meaning of Thanksgiving Buying electronics at terrific prices. I'm saying. Turkey. Why do you always answer the door when I come over? How about you stop coming over and I'll stop answering the door? Hi, Mrs. Dabney. Amy, I have a question for you. Do you know where I can get a small Turkey for one? It's just me this year. Oh, well, where's Mr. Dabney? Didn't you hear? I divorced his sorry butt. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm not. We were just making each other miserable. Now I can be the happy-go-lucky person I always was. You are? I mean I mean, you can. You are? So anyway, I'll be eating. That tiny Turkey in that big empty house, All alone, by myself, Just me. Well, it'll be good practice for Christmas. After you. Mrs. Dabney, would you like to Mrs. Dabney, would you like to join us. For Thanksgiving dinner? Well, this is coming out of nowhere. I'll have to check my schedule. Bye now. Why did you do that? I was being gracious. And I was being neighborly. All right, well, that better end by Christmas. Hey, mom, what you got there? It's the menu for Thanksgiving. Talk about great timing. Because I was gonna volunteer to help you cook. P. J. , that is so sweet, but actually I was gonna ask Teddy. Mom, Teddy does not have time. She is off in her own little world. With the dolls and the horses. And the dress-up. You do know she's not seven, right? Whatever. Let me see the list. Okay, I'm just gonna put a little check. Next to the things I like to cook. Yeah, yes. Ooh, definitely. Oh oh oh oh, yeah. Honey, you checked everything but the rolls. Oh, right, sorry. "rolls. " Okay, fine, you can cook all that other stuff, But I am definitely cooking the Turkey. Wait, that wasn't on the list. Well, I thought it was obvious. I got bogged down on the side dishes, lost my focus. So how did it go? I've got some bad news. What? She's making one dish. Please say broccoli. Please say broccoli. It rhymes with schmurkey. It's Turkey. - Hey, everybody, grandpa's here. - Hey! Yeah yeah, my, how you've grown. Blah blah blah. I don't believe you've met Charlie. Now why is he dressed like a girl? Well, because she is a girl. Yes, Charlie is short for Charlotte. Then why isn't she called sharlie? Seriously, I don't get it. You give the girls boys' names. He should be Teddy, He should be Charlie, and she should be P. J. We're not renaming the kids, dad. Good news. I checked my schedule, And it turns out I am available on Thanksgiving. All right, really? Who left the door open? Mrs. Dabney, this is my father-in-law Frank Duncan. Frank, estelle dabney. Bob, I was wondering if you could come over. And look at my garbage disposal. - It's not working right. - Oh, I'll do it. Had my own plumbing business for 30 years. Plumbing, now that's a man's job. You want someone to catch a butterfly, Call my son. Let's go. Yes, we're numbers nine and 10! Ha! - You're nine and I'm 10? - Yeah. Why don't I get to be nine? What difference does it make? We're both getting mytabs. Then I'm nine. Oh, great, I gotta spend the rest of the day in line. Behind you two losers. Well well well, If it isn't Karl, the neighborhood jerk. If you were planning on getting a mytab, You're out of luck. You're number 11. Not if I outrun you. And when I get my mytab, I'm gonna go online to the losers site. And post something on your loser page. That says, "hey, loser!" This is gonna be a long day. Excuse me, Karl. I'm gonna zip up the invisible wall now. So we don't have to listen to you. You can still hear me. I know you can. Hey, invisible walls stupid. I'm sorry, what? T, you should get going so you can make it home for your Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah, you're right. Well, I'll be back at 4:00 so you can go to your dinner. - See ya. - See ya. Hey, Ivy, Now that Teddy's gone, I can finally admit that I'm not really a jerk. I'm just a vulnerable kid who's too scared to admit. That he needs a friend. Oh, really? No, I'm a jerk. Loser! Yep, a real long day. Oh, man, this is just weird. - What is? - Grandpa. He seems happy. It's very unsettling. Peek-a-boo, I see you. Peek-a-boo. All right, you know what? We'd better go make sure he's okay. Here we go. I'm gonna get ya! Here we go. I'm gonna get ya! Here he comes. Whooo! Oh, she's a cutie pie! And you were cute, too, when you were at that age, Gabe. Boop. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Happy Thanksgiving. She's acting weird, too? Okay, something's not right. This is such a wonderful day. I have so much to be thankful for. Pfft. Like what? Well, I am thankful. That I have a new man in my life. And I am thankful to be that man. Um So you two are together now? That's right. After Frank unclogged my disposal He unclogged my heart. So it looks like I'll be sticking around. For a while. And who knows, Gabe? Someday soon, You might be calling me grandma. Gabe, let's go for a catch. - A what? - Just go outside. All right, what are we gonna do? There's only one thing we can do. We gotta split 'em up. Oh, that sounds evil. I like it. Hey, you know what? All we have to do is just help them to get to know each other. I mean, once we do that Then they'll hate each other. - Exactly. - Yeah! Wait wait wait. Should we do this? They are older people. This may be their last chance at happiness. You mean your new mom's last chance at happiness? Yeah, they're going down. - What happened? - Honey, I shrunk the Turkey. Oh no, you must have flash roasted it. Flash roasted? What's that? Well, it's complicated. It's what happens when you simultaneously. Over-breast and under-roast. Put simply, it shrinks everything. - Even the bones? - Especially the bones. P. J. , what are we gonna do? Well, I'm just thinking on my feet here, - But we do have a deep fryer. - Yeah, so? So if we deep fry a Turkey, dinner could be ready in 90 minutes. Where are we gonna get another bird on Thanksgiving? I have a spare Turkey in the garage. Why do you have a spare Turkey in the garage? Why don't you have a spare Turkey in the garage? - Go get it. - Okay. Hey, mom, are we gonna eat soon? 'cause everyone's really hungry. And would love to be done by 4:00. Actually, dinner has been delayed. P. J. Flash roasted the Turkey. And now we have to start all over. Ivy, hi, it's me. Listen, my mom ruined the Turkey. And blamed it on my brother, So I'm gonna be late. Yeah, no, okay. Don't worry, though. I'll think of something. Just you stay in line. I'll be there as soon as I can. Okay. Mom, oh mom, I have a headache. Wow. So maybe I should rest in my room for a bit. So if you don't see me for, like, two hours or so just remember, I'm in my room. Well, honey, you're probably hungry. Here, nibble on the flash Turkey. Yeah, I'll be in my room. If I boil you, will you plump back up? Who are you talking to? The mini Turkey. Estelle, you make me feel like a new man. - Woof! - Meow. Hey, you know what? I got a really fun game. Called let's not make animal sounds. So, Mrs. Dabney Oh, Gabe, baby, why so formal? Call me Nana. Or better yet gam-gam. So, ha ha ha, gam-gam It's interesting that you meowed, Because we know how much you love your Cat caboodle. And dad doesn't like cats at all. Isn't that right, dad? - Hate 'em. - Then caboodle's gone. But you love that Cat more than anything. - I thought I did. - Oh. Hey, did you know my dad snores so loud, He rattles the whole house? Good, Mr. Dabney was one of those silent sleepers. At least with a snorer, You know there's a man in the house. And I hope he's there for a long time. Me too. - Woof. - Meow. Hey, how we doing out here? Everyone's really hungry. Dinner should be ready in 90 minutes. You think you could speed it up? Grandpa Frank keeps tracing finger hearts on Mrs. Dabney's back. I guess I could whip up some little sandwiches. - Watch the bird, okay? - Yeah, sure. I'm gonna watch it cook twice as fast. Charlie, are you gonna eat your sandwich? - Yes. - Well, can I have just a bite? No, daddy. I'll buy you a doll. Okay, everyone, Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes. No, it won't. The Turkey's gotta cook for another hour. That's where you're wrong. I turned up the heat. - You did what? - Turned up the heat, cut the cooking time in half. You can't do that. If the oil gets too hot, then the Turkey might Explode. Oh, look at that Turkey go! Oh no, it's coming back down. - Whoa whoa whoa! - No no no! Okay, Ivy, I'm on my way. Yeah, see ya. How you feeling, sweetie? What happened to me again? Turkey fell out of the sky on you. But turkeys can't fly. Can they? No, I guess in cartoons they can. Oh, I like cartoons. Okay, everybody. Fresh from the vending machine. - Happy Thanksgiving. - Well, at least they're Turkey. Or "may contain Turkey. " Hey, honey, I'm sorry. You gotta eat Turkey sandwiches in the hospital again. I know this isn't the Thanksgiving you wanted. Well, it's not. But you know what? We're all together. Teddy's okay. And that is what I'm thankful for. Yeah. Hey, you know what? I am thankful for everybody in this room. - Me too. - Me too. I'm thankful that the patient in room 212 ordered ice cream. I wonder how the lovebirds are doing. You can't talk to me that way. I can talk to you any way I want, ***. That sounds promising. Hey, what's going on? He's an idiot. She's a battleaxe. Yeah, we knew that, but what happened? We spent an hour alone together. Longest hour of my life. So you two aren't a couple anymore? No, we are not. And to think, I was gonna move to Arizona with you. Say what now? Wait wait. There's still time. You guys can work this out. I mean, you're perfect for each other. - Oh! - Wait wait, come back! Gam-gam! Well, Charlie, another Duncan family Thanksgiving. Has come and gone. The good news is grandpa Duncan. Has also come and gone. Hey, Teddy, tell me what you think about this. "dear Mrs. Dabney," I'm sorry for our ugly words. Please forgive me. Sell your house and move to Phoenix immediately. Do not call first. Just surprise me. "Forever yours, grandpa. " Sign it "frank. " Oh, yeah, that's good. I could use that. Anyway, since we never got a Thanksgiving dinner, P. J. Is about to deep fry another Turkey. So just to be on the safe side. Wish me good luck, Charlie. That was the worst shopping experience. - Of my life. - Mine too. I mean, I heard those sales were brutal, But I didn't know they were this bad. And we were so close to getting that last mytab. Then that monster came in. And started throwing us around like ragdolls. What just happened in there? Karl, are you crying? Somebody stepped on my neck. C'mon. And is it really worth treating people like this to get a stupid mytab? Yes.