TB on a Jet Plane - Lyrics - Capitol Steps
The Capitol Steps are an American political satire group. The group has been performing since 1981, and has released approximately thirty albums consisting primarily of song parodies. Originally consisting exclusively of congressional staffers performing around Washington, D.C., the troupe now primarily employs professional actors and singers. The Capitol Steps have performed on PBS, public radio and in various small- and medium-sized venues around the United States.
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All my bags were packed in the overhead bin
The guy beside me flashes a grin
We're buckled up now, we're all set to go
Then suddenly as we take off
That guy, he starts to shake and cough
It worried me, 'cause he was in my row
So don't kiss me or smile at me
I wish you were a mile from me
Could we stow you in the hold below?
He brought TB on a jet plane
And it's a drug-resistant strain
Your infectious grin has got to go
Your new daddy works for the CDC
And he said, "It's ok with me
Don't worry now, go have your wedding day"
But nobody dreamed the gift you brung
Was brought on board inside your lung
And TSA took my Purell away
So they'll frisk me and x-ray me
And then they'll need a biopsy
The next time that I take a plane I'll know
That it's safer to sit next to
A bearded guy who likes his shoe
But run if it's his nose, he starts to blow
