What Not to Do Backstage

You know those really annoying things that people do at the movie theatre? Well, some of these things apply to backstage at live theatre too. One of the most irritating things, as an actor onstage, is hearing people talk in the wings. (Yes!) [Laughter] - I got a bag of air, Jeez! [In the background, on stage]- But I do love you. -That's a good, old knee slapper! -...good, old knee slapper! I mean, I know how boring it is to be following along silently with your script, but it really would eliminate people doing this: ten seconds before you have to go on. - Oh, ***. [Loud intake of breath!] -Missing your entrance is another big one. -- I think that sounds stupid. - It's usually because you're not paying attention, and doing one of these things: texting, - Ahaha send me that link. Did you get Skyburger, yet? - Yeah, I beat it, like, last week. - What about Burn the Corn or something like that? - I love that game. - Sweet. - Sorry, Ms Shef! - Sorry, we're just playing some games! Or on the phone: Why people do this.. but it does happen. Sleeping.... Pippa... [Muffled talking] [On stage] "Darling, I must go now!" "I want to loose my longing!" - Pippa! Wake up! It's your turn! - Dancing! Talking to people on the other side of the stage. - There's no more time... - [In wings] Pippa! Pippa! - .. I must ask you... - [In wings] Come over here! That's a little bit of an exaggeration but you get what we mean. Or any other sorts of fooling around. We've got quite a few examples of that. [Indistinct chatter and giggling] [Singing onstage] From something you love. to something you loose. [Tapping noises] - That's cool. - What does this do? [Singing onstage] What about those chips? [Loud crackling of chip bag and crunching] No! No! - It's very hard to do what you're supposed to backstage. - Really, you should, though, or other actors could get mad. - I'm going to kill him! - Then kill him! - I mean, don't kill him. Don't kill him.