A Bad Family Game Night

♪♪ >>OKAY, WHO'S READY FOR BIRD FAMILY GAME NIGHT? >>YAY! >>OKAY STEPHEN, SINCE IT'S YOUR FIRST TIME PLAYING MONOPOLY YOU CAN GO FIRST. >>OKAY, HERE I GO! [GLASS BREAK] [CRASHING] >>[SCREAMS] >>HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM. NOBODY ROLL! >>WHAT'S GOING ON? >>THIS MUST BE SOME SORT OF A MISTAKE. WE'RE ONLY PLAYING A GAME. >>THOUGHT YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH IT, HUH? >>GET AWAY WITH WHAT? >>HOW OLD IS YOUR SON? >>I DON'T UNDERSTAND- >>HOW OLD IS YOUR SON? >>HE'S 7. >>WHAT PART OF AGES 8 AND UP, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? >>WHO ARE YOU? >>HASBRO GAMING ENFORCEMENT AGENCY. >>IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY? >>UNDERAGE GAMING IS A SERIOUS OFFENSE, SIR. >>OUR SON TURNS 8 IN TWO WEEKS. >>YEAH. >>DOES THE BOX SAY AGES 7 YEARS 351 DAYS AND UP? >>ALL RIGHT. WE'LL PLAY A DIFFERENT GAME. >>NOT SO FAST. WE'VE BEEN TRACKING YOUR GAMING HABITS FOR MONTHS. >>HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE PLAYING IN THIS GAME OF YAHTZEE? >>I- I DON'T KNOW. LIKE SEVEN? >>TWO TO SIX PLAYERS. ARE YOU ILLITERATE OR CAN YOU JUST NOT READ? >>ARE THOSE MY OPTIONS? >>YOU HAVE COMPLETELY DISREGARDED THE LAWS THAT GOVERN GAMING SOCIETY. AT SIX PLAYERS PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "THIS GAME IS TAKING A WHILE, BUT I'M STILL HAVING FUN." AT SEVEN, PEOPLE ARE BEGGING FOR THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH. >>ISN'T THAT A LITTLE DRAMATIC? >>IS IT? MR.I-TAKE-FOREVER-TO-PLAY-ONE -GAME-OF-BATTLESHIP? >>I- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! >>GAME PLAY, 15-45 MINUTES AND YOU TOOK THREE HOURS. >>IT TAKES A LOT OF STRATEGY. >>ACTUAL WARS HAVE TAKEN LESS TIME. >>SO HELP ME IF YOU START SPREADING RUMORS OF THAT GAME TAKES MORE THAN 45 MINUTES I WILL SINK YOUR BATTLESHIP. >>I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT- >>LIFE! I WILL SINK YOUR LIFE. >>ALL- ALL RIGHT! OKAY, JUST CALM DOWN. I- I PROMISE FROM NOW ON WE'LL ABIDE BY EVERY AGE LIMIT, PLAYER ALLOTMENT, AND SUGGESTED GAMING TIME. >>GOOD. GENTLEMEN, I BELIEVE OUR WORK HERE IS- WHY IS THERE A 500 ON THE CENTER OF THE BOARD? >>IT'S FOR WHEN SOMEONE LANDS ON FREE-PARKING. IT'S OUR HOUSE RULE. >>HOUSE RULES, HUH? WELL CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR SON NOW HAS PERMISSION TO PLAY MONOPOLY BECAUSE HE JUST BECAME MAN OF THE HOUSE. >>WAIT! >>DAD! >>DAD! >>AND TRUST US, HASBRO PRISON AIN'T NO CANDY LAND. CANDY LAND IS CANDY LAND. >>DAD! >>LET'S JUST WATCH NETFLIX LIKE EVERY OTHER FAMILY. >>OKAY. >>I'M SO SORRY. >>HEY GUYS! THANKS FOR WATCHING THAT SKETCH. >>MAKE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE OR YOU'LL BE SORRY! [LAUGHS] >>I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. >>YES. YOU DON'T WANT TO RISK NOT SUBSCRIBING. >>OKAY. I THINK WE GOT THE POINT. >>YES, IF YOU DON'T SUBSCRIBE YOU'LL BE SLEEPING WITH THE GO FISHES. >>OH, BAD. SO BAD. >>YES. YES. I SWEAR, IF YOU DO NOT SUBSCRIBE, I WILL SHOOT AND LADDER YOU IN THE KNEE! >>JASON! >>I'M JUST- I'M JUST SAYING, YOU SHOULD DO IT. >>THAT WAS A GREAT PLAY ON SHOOTS AND LADDERS! >>THANK YOU. >>YEAH. >>I WORKED LIKE FOUR HOURS ON THAT. >>WELL THAT'S DEPRESSING.