Staple Holes

Keegan Deane, Gloria? GLORIA: It was just a kiss. I'm deeply concerned about you. Maybe you need a fresh start somewhere else. I'm thinking about running for DA. Are you kidding? Just a matter of time till you can't stand the sight of this guy, Maddy. MADDY: Don't be ridiculous. I think we should break up. I put Tarrant away based on the confessions you gave me. None of this stink is landing on me. That Keegan Deane. I had sex with my cousin Angus? I could've told him the truth. I was just hoping you could talk to Harry Potter. This IRS thing is killing me. (SCREAMING) You miss one payment, and you're dead. Okay. KEEGAN: About that offer, when could I start? How's Monday? Monday could work. KEEGAN: This is screwy. I can't believe I agreed to this. It's a mistake. LEANNE: Where are you? Outside the building. Me working in a white-shoe law firm with these pricks? I'll be dead in a week. This is a nightmare. If you'd like to discuss nightmares, please bear in mind the fact that I'm currently cleaning out your fridge. I've just found some mustard from before the time of Christ. I mean, my gut's screaming this is a huge mistake. Why am I doing this? Tell me that right now. I can give you several reasons. Ben needs you to support him, so you're there as a friend. That's a terrible reason. You're not supposed to work for friends. Everybody knows that. Well, don't forget, you still owe Victor. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God, I'm gonna need some form of trauma therapy after this. Stop being a baby. You need this job. You need the money. I know, Leanne. Please talk to Ben about bringing me on board. Yeah, yeah. This is going to be the worst, most soul-sucking experience of my life. Enjoy. I'm not doing it. Leanne? Hello? Hey. (DIAL TONE) What can I do for you? I'm not sure where... I'm Keegan Deane. Oh, Mr. Deane. Welcome to Leon & Associates. We are so excited you are going to be coming aboard. Please have a seat, and I will call Cindy. Can I get you some coffee? Um, Cindy? Your assistant. How do you take it? Linda, this is Keegan Deane. Mr. Deane, welcome. Hi. Hello. Linda Hirschberg, head of human resources. Oh. I've heard many stories about you, sir. And if even half of them are true, things are finally going to get fun around here. (CHUCKLES) Is Cindy on her way? I just called. I have your employment contract all ready. I just need your signature. Anything you need, my door is always open. Actually, there is a little personnel issue you might be able to help me with. I have a young lady who's worked with me for many years. She's reliable, dependable, somebody I think you... Hello, Mr. Deane. I'm Cindy Beck. Cindy? Your new assistant. I can show you back to your office. Just a moment, Cindy. Mr. Deane was in the middle of a personnel issue. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. She's fine. Fine. Uh, thank you. I'll take that coffee black. Hey. You're still here. I thought you had class. Yeah, I'm not going today. What's wrong? I just... I was trying to help. I was trying to be useful. I broke two of your wineglasses. My grandmother gave me those wineglasses. What? I'm kidding. It was my great-grandmother. (SIGHS) Come on, it's just a couple of wineglasses. They can be replaced. You didn't cut yourself, did you? (CHUCKLES) Oh, no. Accidents happen. It's okay. I'm sorry, David. I'm just not... This is so new to me, this whole being domestic. I'm not very good at it, I'm afraid. You're such a mystery to me. You know that? I mean, sometimes I look at you. I see this woman who's, like, been everywhere and seen everything, and then a little thing like this happens, and you get so upset. It's like your whole life before me has been sheltered or small, and you're just this, like, delicate, innocent creature. I'm not innocent, David. Yeah, you are. In a way. Hey, lady, you know the rules. You break it, you buy it. Excuse me? I have to pay for the glasses now? No. Just buy me a couple new ones. I have... I have no idea what I'm looking for. So innocent. I'll see you tonight. (KEYS JINGLE) (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) And here we are. I'm sorry there's no view. No, no, it's great. Windows would just remind me what a great, big, beautiful world I'm missing out on. (CHUCKLES) I'll need you to sign this right away. It's your authorization form for the company credit card. Right, credit card. Oh, great. Here's the card. You can start using it in a couple of hours, and these are your town car vouchers. So I have a car service? As long as it's "client related," you have 24-hour transportation anywhere you need to go. Okay, I think I'm gonna cry. Excuse me? Nothing, nothing. Great. Coffee, black. Thank you, so much. You're welcome. Anything else you need, you're in good hands with Cindy. Well, I can see that. You're welcome again. Where is my man... Oh, hey. (LAUGHING) Hi. There he is. I never thought I'd live to see the day. Amazing but true, right? Here you go. Whoa, whoa. I thought we might retire the paper bag. That's great. How am I gonna get it through the door? I was hoping for a bottle of Scotch. Open the case. Yeah. He knows me too well. This guy. Don't let him open that during work hours. So how long you been here? You ready to quit yet? Honestly, and I know this is crazy 'cause I'm saying it, but, um, it's not so bad. (LAUGHS) That's great. Cindy, we have to keep him happy. Remember that. You won't have to remember, Cindy. I'm going to remind you every single day. (LAUGHS) I hope I'm not too late to join the welcoming committee. Oh. Keegan Deane. Robert Ebell, managing partner. How you doing, Bob? I prefer Robert. I'm just getting Kee up to speed here. So, unless there's anything else you need, Robert... Well, actually, I wanted to deliver Mr. Deane's signing bonus. I do enjoy being the bearer of good tidings and big checks. Wow, signing bonus. That's... You okay, Kee? Is there somewhere around here I can cash this? (ALL LAUGHING) (CROWS CAWING) (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) LEANNE: $25,000? Let me guess. You need me to bring you a fresh pair of trousers. And their bank cashed the check for me. This is gonna put me way ahead with Roy, you know. (CELL PHONE CHIMES) Hold on. About Roy... I want to surprise the hell out of him and pay him early this week, all right? I need you to go to the apartment tomorrow morning and meet him. LEANNE: Do I have to come back here, Kee? Your apartment really freaks me out. There's a dark vibe here. (PHONE RINGING) What the hell is wrong with you? Don't argue with me. I feel it. I saw what it did to your turkey. Leanne, are you my assistant or not? Cindy? Fine. Have you talked to Ben yet about bringing me on? (PHONE RINGING) You're breaking up a little. Hello. Keegan Deane. GLORIA: Good morning, Mr. Deane. Gloria. How's the new job working out? Yeah, it's working out great. I've been here less than an hour. How'd you get this number? I'm a very resourceful woman. I need to see you, Keegan. No. No, no, no. That's a bad idea. I love it when you play hard to get, but seriously... Seriously, Gloria, I love this little dance of ours, but I can't dance with two broken legs, so I don't want... I don't want you to call me here again. No, no, no. Keegan, you're annoying me. That's not something you want to do. Got to go. What the hell are you guys doing? You're in the wrong office. No, no, no, they're good. They're good. Thanks, guys. I knew you'd get bored staring at Cindy all day, so I'm putting you, my friend, right to work. That's great. No, I just... I feel like I might need just 48 hours to kind of acclimate to the place. You'll be fine. We're on trial in the Stratford com case. Matthew Dickinson, our fourth chair, he's out with kidney stones. Oh. And we're back in court tomorrow, so I want you to take his chair. No, Benny, I mean, I feel terrible. The poor ***'s suffering, and the new guy comes in and steals his... His chair? I'm very uncomfortable with this, really. There's a trial strategy session in the conference room at noon. Look through as much of this as you can before then. But just so you know, it's a straightforward intellectual-property case. Simple. In this new package, you'll find a modified separation agreement, as well as a separation agreement used by Kingswood Tel after the date in question. These have been marked as Exhibits 138A and 138B. WOMAN: Turning to page 1127, line three should read "admissible" and not "inadmissible." Line 12 should be partially struck with the word "the" removed and replaced with the word "an." Again, "the" is replaced with an "an" on line 12. "An an"? No, just one "an." Great. File 127-10 now includes a new analysis of the Kingswood Tel intellectual-property waiver. Listen. Is there any chance Cindy's a lesbian? To the best of my knowledge, she's not. Yeah, okay. Sorry, go ahead. Uh, um... WOMAN: So when is this batch due? MAN: Myers will be on the stand for at least a week before we need to cross. Hey, you. What are you doing here? Come to make sure Kee didn't burn the place down? I have incredible news. You're crazy about me? Honey, that is old news. This news involves your wife, who is now pretty much guaranteed to become the next district attorney for the county of Los Angeles. You got the mayor's endorsement! I didn't even have to bring it up. He just came to me. "I have complete faith in you. "You're the only person I'd trust in the position. "You're smart. You're beautiful. You're well..." He said you were beautiful? Yeah. That prick. Was he hitting on you? No. But I would have let him to get the endorsement. (LAUGHS) I'm just kidding. Come here. Mmm. Oh, baby. (CLEARS THROAT) Excuse me. Could you knock, Robert? I just need a quick signature. How's our future DA? The firm's behind you all the way. Oh, well, thanks for the support, Robert. This couldn't wait? It's pension-related. Deadline's today. I'll need to read it before it goes out. I'll get you a copy later. I'm so sorry for the interruption. Thank you, boss, but it's so lovely to see you, Scarlet, as always. Oh, likewise. God, I hate that guy. You know, if they ever run out of oil in the middle east, they could just stick a pump right up him. Ah, forget about him. So when's the mayor gonna announce the endorsement? Mmm. At my launch party. Ooh, I am so proud of you. Oh, thank you. (ROBERT CLEARS THROAT) Sorry. My pen. (LAUGHS) Incredible, isn't it? I thought the thing was gonna be a disaster. They gave me a credit card, a town car voucher. They gave me a signing bonus, Leanne. LEANNE: Believe that when I see it. Did you talk to Ben about bringing me on as your assistant? You're cutting out a little bit there. Hello? PAUL: Mr. Deane. Hello? Mayor Barzmann would like to speak with you. I'll call you back. Hey, I am so sick of this *** dragging me downtown every time he wants to have a chat. From now on, I don't go to him. He can drag his sorry *** right here to me. Something you want to say? Yeah, what do you want? Excuse me? Why are you here? I was gonna ask you the same question. During our last conversation, didn't I suggest you find a fresh start somewhere else, somewhere with fewer temptations, my wife being one of them? Yeah, yeah, you did, and your henchman here dragged me to the outskirts of the city, okay? Maybe it's time for you to move, all right? I've seen the poll numbers, Mayor. Yeah, I've seen the poll numbers. He's in trouble. You're out of a job. Your years of devoted public service for this city are about over. And I can't wait for that, Deane, because the first thing, the very first thing I'll do as a private citizen is look for the trail of slime on the ground that leads me to you. There will be blood, and none of it mine. But I'm sure you want to get home, and I certainly don't want to keep you. Have a lovely evening. Night, sir. Yeah, night. God. Hi. Bernie Michaels. But, of course, you remember my name. This is breaking and entering. As the former chief of the LAPD, I think you might remember this is a crime. The fact that I am former chief, thanks to you, is the only crime I care about. Talk to your friend Mayor Barzmann, Bernie. He's the one who threw you under the bus. Marcus did what he had to do. I'm still on the payroll, unofficially. You know, for special projects where he needs a little extra help, like this. Oh, is that right? I'm calling the cops. Oh, they'll be here soon enough. I called a couple of buddies of mine over at narcotics, and when they get here, they're gonna find a kilo of ***, which I expertly planted somewhere in this dump. You're a gambling man. What do you want to bet they find it before you do? (CHUCKLES) Good night, sweetheart. (POUNDING AT DOOR) MAN: Police officers. Open up. You're not coming in without a warrant. Open the door. Now! Oh, jeez. Did you ever think about getting a maid? I need to see a warrant. Don't need one. We're not coming in. Didn't Bernie Michaels send you? Yeah, he said you wanted to make a donation to the policemen's benevolent fund. Not this year. (BOTH LAUGHING) (LAUGHING) Oh, my God. (SIGHS) LAWYER: So you're telling us that after February 10th of last year, which was Mr. Ryan's last day and the day he signed the separation agreement, that you had no further communication of any kind with Kevin Ryan? That is correct, yes. I have no further questions for Mr. Myers, your honor. Cross-examination, Mr. Leon. Your honor, respectfully, we had no expectation that the examination of this witness would conclude so soon. I'd like to request an adjournment. Mr. Leon, between pre-trial hearings and jury selection, this case has gone on for 11 months. I count eight lawyers here, each billing individually at, what, $600 an hour? That might be a little high. Is that a fact? How can you not be prepared for any part of this trial after all this time? Cross-examination tomorrow morning. I'm not criticizing you, Bevan. I'm just saying that we need to talk more. Because I'm here alone, and you're off halfway across the world living a life that I know nothing about. Yeah, I'm just saying, I feel a little vulnerable, that's all. I just feel like you're not there for me. Bevan? Hello? Bevan? (KNOCKING AT DOOR) (SIGHS) Roy, I presume? That would be me. Your money's here somewhere, amidst the carnage. Come in. What happened in here? When I walked in, I assumed there'd been a struggle and that I'd find Keegan dead, but, alas, 'twas not to be. Here you are. It's nice to finally meet you, at last. It's nice meeting you too. You know how when you talk to somebody on the phone a couple of times, and then you meet them in person, and it's totally different than the picture that you had in your head? That's sort of happening now. How am I different? Most British people have pasty skin and bad teeth, but you, you're working it. Oh, I'm afraid you're going to have me blushing, sir. You should really use longer sentences, because your accent is off the hook. Just so you know, though, I never do this sort of thing. Yeah, me neither. I haven't had sex in over five months. My wife and I are having a kid. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. My boyfriend, he's overseas. He hasn't been very attentive lately. I think he might be cheating on me. So you beat him to the punch. You want to go again? God, yes. Look, we were supposed to cross, and we weren't ready. Hey, Ben, heard we got roughed up a little in Judge Seibert's court today. You gonna be ready for cross tomorrow morning? I can handle it, Robert. I had a thought. Not that I care, ***. Why don't you put your good buddy Keegan into first chair? Let him do the cross-examination. Kee's great at cross, but this kind of case, it's not in his wheelhouse, not to mention he's only been here two days. There's a lot of material. I'm not saying he has to shine. We just need him to vamp until Matthew passes his kidney stones. I mean, your boy can't vamp for four hours? It's a bad idea. You're the boss, but listen, when you wanted to bring him in, you talked him up like he was some superstar. But if he can't handle it... Hey, hey, hey. That's not what I said, Robert. I get it. He's a screwup, but he's your pal, so you're giving him a job. You're protecting him. I'm not protecting him. Well, I'm trying to protect you. People are talking, Ben. They're worried about the firm. They're worried about you. Your first major decision since taking over for your father, you bring in some guy that people think is a carnival act. It doesn't look good. So put your boy in the game. Let everybody see what he can do. Show them that you made a smart choice, and let's shut them all up. I'll think about it. Good man. You're sure you're good with this? It's nothing. Cross 101. I could do it in my sleep. Yeah, but, Kee, be awake. This is a big case for the firm and for me. You know, it was my choice to hire you. So, if you do well, I'll look like a genius. Okay. And I don't get that chance too often, so don't let me down. Hey, Benny, buddy, who's the best cross guy you know? Promise me you'll study the files. Yeah, I do. I promise. Who are we kidding? Look, at the very least, just look over the case-overview document. That's only 120 pages. I'm gonna make you proud. You have my word. Oh, good. GINA: Good night, Mr. Deane. KEEGAN: Hey, what are you doing here? Did you talk to Ben about bringing me on? I'm still getting my sea legs. I'll talk to him first thing in the morning, I promise. Good night, Mr. Deane. Good night. Hey, what did I tell you? I know, I'm sorry. I just don't feel comfortable... Come on. Good night, Kee. (CHUCKLES) Who's that? I'm not sure. I'm still getting everybody's names down. Roy come by? He did. You gave it to him, right? Good god, he told you? What are you talking about? Nothing. Oh, my God. Did you and Roy... It wasn't my fault. It was your apartment. I told you that place had a dark vibe. Shh, shh, shh. It overtook me. One minute, I'm a complete normal self, and the next, I'm having sex with a total stranger in a strange bed. My bed? Where else? Well, how the hell am I gonna sleep in that thing, Leanne? I only have one set of sheets. I'm moments away from a complete emotional breakdown, and you're worried about a piece of furniture? (CELL PHONE RINGS) It's Bevan. He knows. That's the wrong way. Oh. I was actually thinking about trying out for lacrosse, but I don't know if I'm going to now. Dude, I once built my own lacrosse stick using a tree branch and twine. All right? I'll bring it over. That's crazy. Oh, yeah, definitely. (CHUCKLES) Hey. Hey, Mom. Bruce. What are you doing here? I'm making jambalaya. Oh. May I pour you a glass of wine, babe? Uh, Finn, can you give us a second? I need to have a private conversation with Bruce. Mom. Finn. Sure. Catch you later, huh? Yeah, later, Bruce. Yeah, we'll see ya. He's a good kid. He's, uh... He's been through a lot lately, but we just had a really nice talk. Why are you here? Uh... I want to feed you. Sustain you. I broke up with you, Bruce. Do you not remember that happening? (SIGHS) I remember some hurtful words. But, you see, I'm choosing to read between the lines of what you said. Don't do that, Bruce. Don't read between the lines. Read the damn lines. You and I are done, finished. Accept it. Maddy. Say what's really in your heart. Bruce, get out of my house before I call the police. That's exactly what's going on in my heart. (CLEARS THROAT) I'm not giving up on us, Maddy. (DOOR OPENS) I care about you too much to let you make that mistake. Oh, keep the jambalaya on medium low. Get out. (KNOCKING AT DOOR) Who is it? It's Mikki. Congratulations on the new job. Oh, this is nice. I can think of something I'd like a lot more. Did you ask Harry to back off on my tax situation? I tried. I don't like the sound of that, Mikki. Okay, I couldn't. I bring up your name looking for a huge favor, he's gonna know there is more to the story. I cannot risk him finding out the truth, Kee. Are these new sheets? Yes. It's an emergency situation. I have an emergency too. Can you please help me with these wineglasses? No, I'm supposed to be going through case files. What? It's gonna take one minute. Sure. I help you. You don't help me. It's a... It's a pattern we have. Great. I bought two kinds. Which one do you like better? Uh, I don't... There's only one way to decide. Have you lost your mind? You're moving in with him? Mmm-hmm. He asked, and I said yes. I know you hate his guts, Keegan. He is such a sweet man, and he loves me. Let me ask you something. This is important. Does he wear tighty-whities? Whenever I picture him in underwear, he wears tighty-whities. He seems like that type of guy. That is inappropriate. I'm not gonna answer it. (LAUGHS) He wear... He wears tighty-whities. Why are you picturing David in his underwear? I get lonely. Aw. Well, this whole thing's moving so fast for you, isn't it? Mmm-hmm. Mmm. Yeah, but it feels right. And at the same time, I'm going completely crazy. Every other minute, I think that he's gonna find out everything about my past. Like, not that someone's gonna tell him, but because I'm gonna give it away. Like even something as simple as buying these stupid wineglasses. Like if I pick the wrong one, he's gonna know. Well, as long as the glasses aren't engraved with, "I used to be a ***," I think you'll be good. I don't think that I would be feeling this crazy if it weren't for the fact that... He could be the one, Kee. Well, if he is the one... What are you doing here? (GASPS) (GRUNTS) Ah. Well... That was definitely worth the wait. Mmm. Tell me again what time you showed up here? After midnight. Oh. You were pretty drunk. You know, I don't know which is a bigger mess at the moment, you or your apartment. My apartment's a mess because your husband sent some of his friends over here to play. I'm leaving him. I'm going home to tell him right now. No comment? Oh, I'm happy for you, Gloria, but if I try to show it, I'll die. I got to get to court. Hmm. This the case you're working on? Ugh, that looks boring. (GROANS) Proceed, Mr. Deane. Hmm? Mr. Deane! Is it "Mr. Martin" or "mar-teen"? It's Myers. Now it's Myers. KEEGAN: I'd like you to indulge me here for a moment, sir. Let's pretend that I know absolutely nothing about this case. Nothing. I'm a (POPS LIPS) blank slate of information. How would you categorize the legalities in question? Mr. Deane, I realize that you are new to these proceedings. However, the rest of us have been exposed to this case for nearly a year. Your Honor, I am looking for a very specific piece of information from Mr. Martin. Myers. Mr. Myers. Thank you. And I believe this line of line of questioning will yield a very good result, if I could continue. Continue. (DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) Marcus? Marcus, are you here? Marcus? We need to talk. Marcus, what are you doing in there? (SCOFFS) Open up the door. Marcus. (LINE TRILLING) Bernie, it's Gloria. I'm at the house. There may be a problem. So this gentleman, Kevin Ryan, at one point, he worked for your company, Kingswood Tel? And there he developed a calling plan, and the name of that was? Call-ifornia. That's the one. But when he presented it to you, you rejected it. You rejected the name. You rejected the plan. You rejected the whole idea, didn't you? That is correct, yes. And Mr. Ryan then went off and worked... At the other place? Stratford Communications. A major competitor. Major. And the next thing you know, they're having all sorts of success with this Call-ifornia plan. Is that consistent with your position, sir? I have to say it again? Don't look at me. (SIGHS) My position is that when Mr. Ryan signed the separation agreement at the end of his employ with our company, it clearly stated that all intellectual property developed prior to the separation belonged to Kingswood Tel. (LAUGHS) Mr. Deane, while we're all still living. (POUNDING AT DOOR) What is it? No, no, no. No, don't come in. What's wrong? Tell me. No, stay out. GLORIA: Bernie! Oh, damn it. (POUNDING ON DOOR) Oh, Marcus. KEEGAN: So this is Exhibit BB83? BEN: Yes. Mmm. Uh-huh. Is this the separation agreement between you and Mr. Ryan? Yes, that's it. Well, that's interesting. (CHUCKLES) What? Oh, I think you know. I'd like to see the original document that was signed into evidence. I knew something was wrong. I knew he had other passions. I'd see the marks on his neck, but I just... I never thought... It was autoerotic asphyxiation? I wouldn't have thought it either. Oh, this is horrible. What kind of person is into that? Well, apparently, your husband was. (SIGHS) I'm sorry, Gloria. Yes, that's it. You sure? Yes. You sure? That's the original document? Yes. Signed by you and Mr. Ryan? Correct. Great. I'd like to ask you a question, Mr. Myers. I want you to take your time answering this. It's an important question, so think about it. How many pages long is this document? You're holding it. Could you answer the question, sir? One. Our separation agreement is a single-page document. So this is one page. Would you like me to count it for you? (CHUCKLES) He's... He's funny. Where's the rest of the document, sir? There is no rest of it. Where is it? You're under oath. Where is the rest of this document? Don't you be looking over my shoulder. Don't eyeball your lawyers over there. You should be looking at me right now. The reason I'm bringing it up is because, look at this. Up in the top left corner of this document, I see two holes. Those are staple holes. I saw it in the photocopy. I see it here. What was attached to this, sir? I'm not sure. Was it a rider? Was it a conditional agreement signed by Mr. Ryan that allowed him to bring Call-ifornia to his other place of work? Objection. Mr. Deane. You'll go straight to jail, sir. You'll go straight to jail. You better get an answer to these people. They're asking for an answer. What was attached to this? What was stapled to this document? They're the ones. They're the ones that told me to remove it. They said if I didn't, we'd have no case. They said I'd be fired. Enough. Clear the jury. I'm not going to jail for you. Just stop talking. Stop talking! (GAVEL BANGS) I argued with them. I have a family, Your Honor. Thomas, relax. Be quiet! SEIBERT: Counselor, sit down. You need to confer with your client. Easy, easy. (GAVEL BANGING) So... About Cindy. SEIBERT: Clear this courtroom. Huh? Clear this courtroom now. I really liked him. Ma, he's cool. He knows about a lot of stuff. Finn, I'm glad you liked Bruce, but your approval, though important, is not the determining factor when it comes to my relationships. Well, I'm glad it's not just my relationships you're ruining. That was not a relationship. That was a criminal act, and that woman should consider herself very lucky she still has a job. That woman's name is Stacy, and I loved her. Honey, please, we'll continue this when I get back from the dentist. Is that from Bruce? (SIGHS) It would appear so. (SIGHS) We need to fix this. Well, I... I don't know how we do that. This is a major situation. Bernie, I need you and I to be the only people who know what happened here. This is the mayor of Los Angeles. The press is gonna be all over this. Are you going to help me or not? Marcus trusted you. He told me that if I ever needed anything, that you could handle it. Was he lying to me? No. I won't let how he died be how he's remembered. Fix it, Bernie. Well, I suppose I could... I don't care how you do it. Just do it. (FEMALE NEWSCASTER) Marcus Barzmann, 49, the mayor of Los Angeles... (MALE NEWSCASTER) Is dead. Reliable sources close to the administration... (FEMALE NEWSCASTER 2) Are telling us that the mayor was found dead... (MALE NEWSCASTER 2) In his official residence (FEMALE NEWSCASTER 3) about an hour ago. Hey, hey. What's with all the glum faces around here? Haven't you heard the news? Somebody just won the Stratford com case for the home team. Come on! The mayor's dead. I know. I know, but this is even better. I won. LINDA: Mr. Deane. No, look, I knew the guy, all right? And I'm just saying, no great loss. I'm saying, rest in peace, but he was a real ***. Mr. Deane. Yeah? Would you join us in the conference room, please? You got it, Bobby. Put that away for us... A little celebration on the side afterward. (CLICKS TONGUE) Okay, boys and girls, we're gonna do one Victory lap around this table, and then everybody gets hammered on me. You have no idea what you did, do you? I think I just kicked a little Kingswood Tel ***. Tell them, Benny. You did great, Kee. EBELL: You idiot. You cost us millions in billings. What are you talking about? I just won your case, Bobby. Oh, thank you so much. We budgeted based on that trial going another eight months at least, and now that projected income is gone. Wait, you wanted me to lose? Why didn't you say something? Nobody loses better than I do. Tell him, Ben. Well, congratulations, because we did lose... Big. Maybe not the best time to bring it up, Bob, but you're the one who suggested Kee take first chair, and I did tell you it was a bad idea, did I not? (SIGHS) (DOOR OPENS) You're welcome. You told him it was a bad idea? Open the champagne. We'll talk about it later. You still haven't heard anything? Nothing. There was no information this morning. There's no information tonight. You know, I called Gloria, but, of course, she didn't answer. And nothing from the L.A.P.D.? You know, that is the weirdest thing. Everyone's gone quiet. (MARIACHI MUSIC) Too peppy? Really, Kee? This is appropriate? (WHISTLES) I'm not gonna let you bring me down, Scarlet. I'm not gonna do it. Listen, we're all upset. But I think Marcus would want us to celebrate his life as one of the most deranged, delusional, vindictive maniacs to ever mayorize the city. Tell me, dear, what did him in? We haven't heard a thing. Scarlet. God, I'm so sorry. Terrible timing. Just awful. Everybody's in shock. This was supposed to be canceled, but there just wasn't any time. You're still going to announce? No. I'm gonna give it a couple of days out of respect for Marcus. Sure. But I'm really glad you came. Where's your friend? Bruce. I was wondering the same thing. Well, actually, there is some news about Bruce. (GASPS) He's dead too? We broke up. Oh, boo, hiss. You broke up with him, or he broke up with you? If I tell you, will you resist your natural urge to gloat? Yes. I broke up with him. I should have bought a lottery ticket today. I'm winning everywhere. What did I tell you? I called this one. Didn't I call it? Did he cry? Does he cry funny? He didn't cry, but he does keep showing up. Oh, that doesn't sound good. No, it's... It's nothing. The other night I came home, and I found him in the kitchen, cooking with Finn. And today there was juice outside the front door. Just spilled all over the... No, in a gift basket with a note. He named a new juice after me. Oh. Well, nothing says obsessive former boyfriend like a personalized juice blend, does it? I'll talk to him. Kee, it's not an issue and certainly not one that concerns you. Let me just do something. Nobody likes a stalker. I know from personal experience. I'll let you know when I need your help, but in the meantime, thank you for keeping the gloating to a minimum. Guys, play something romantic. (ROMANTIC MARIACHI MUSIC) More gloating coming. I'm pacing myself. You've got to be kidding. (DOORBELL RINGING) (KNOCKING AT DOOR) (RINGING CONTINUES) Bernie baby, guess who. What do you want? I've been worried about you. You had your head buried so far up the mayor's ***, I was worried that when he died, maybe you did too. Get lost, you drunken prick. It's over for you, Bernie. You're cooked. Your benefactor's dead and gone, and until you join him, here's wishing you many years of well-deserved obscurity, baby. Get off of my property! Hey, hey. I planted a kilo of pound cake inside the house. I hope you find it before the vermin do. Very funny. See you, ***. Get out! KEEGAN: Wake up, everybody! Pain in my ***. Bernie Michaels is a lunatic! Bernie, I'll water your lawn! (LINE TRILLING) Whoo! Tommy, hey, it's me. I want to meet you first thing tomorrow morning. We have to have a conversation about a person of interest in the mayor's ***. Good night! Hmm.