Desperate Housewives S2E4 - English Transcript

Previously on "desperate housewives" you're not taking me?Dad's gonna take you. Lynette's new job came with a price. If this charge sticks,I get sent awayfor eight years. And carlos paid for his mistakes. Are you in lovewith mr. Williams? No. I think the machinepicked up on something that I wasn't aware of. While bree detected feelings she'd never known. You come within 10 feet of her,I will have you arrested. Now get out. Susan discovered something zach is your son,isn't he? Too close to home. The residents of the fairview county jail looked forward to every tuesday. That was the day that gabrielle solis came to visit her husband. The inmates went out of their way to give her compliments whether she wanted them to or not. With each visit,these accolades became increasingly inventive. Still,gabrielle was not flattered. In fact,gabrielle started to dread this special attention. Until one day,when I don't think a conjugal visitis such a ridiculous request. With all due respect,mrs. Solis, let's just get throughthe discovery phase first,okay? But I don't thinkI can wait that long. I am trying to get your husbandout of jail. Do you want me to juststop everything so you can havea *** call? Excuse me,we are husband and wife. We make love.It is a very sacred covenant. Okay,look,all we need is 20 minutes. I said no.You can't tell me no. You work for me. You will make it happen. You can't force meto do anything. I am not your maidor your gardener. I can have youarrested for that. Oh,really?And how about for this? You crazy ***! Hey,apologize to the lady. Big mistake,pal.I play golf with the warden. You're gonna rot-- You heard him.Apologize. Look,fellas, I am just trying to do my job.This is all her fault! If she weren't so damn ***--ow! All right! All right! come on! It was at that moment it occurred to gabrielle apologize! This was the nicest compliment she had ever received. Desperate Houswives S2 E04 There was one thing all the fathers on wisteria lane had in common-- they could return home from a hard day's work to the family they'd left behind and not feel at all guilty about the precious moments they had missed. Sadly,the same could not be said for the working mothers. Hey,honey,I held dinner for as long as I could. It just got too late for them. You couldn't have given 'em coffee or something? I just feel like I'm missing out on their lives entirely. Hey,you sit,eat,and I will fill you in. Oh,don't eat that. That's been sitting out for hours. That's for mrs. Mulberry. This is for you. I'm sorry. Who? Oh,mrs. Mulberry. Parker has an imaginary friend. Um,british nanny. I think he really locked into the whole "mary poppins" thing. Is that why he's sleeping with an umbrella? He carries it with him everywhere. It's a security blanket. When did this start? About a week ago,I guess. And you don't find it odd that parker's new nanny made her appearance right at the time I went back to work? Kids have imaginary friends. It's no big deal. I'll agree with you to a point, when they're flying kangaroos or giant robots, not surrogate mommies. Hey parker is having a little trouble adjusting. That's all. Apparently,so are you. Honey,don't be so sensitive. I hope you're right. At the risk of sounding too sensitive, how come she gets a bigger portion? That's it? You're the one who said you wanted things to be casual between us. Yeah, but that doesn't mean we have to act like brother and sister. I mean,you bought me ribs.I have gratitude to express. What's wrong? I can't do this. This casual thing-- it's--it's weird. No! No! It's not. We're just gonna pretend like it was when we first started dating. We just see each other occasionally, you know,until we get the zach thing resolved. Yeah,well,we'll just be easy about it. No commitments. Except,of course, neither of us is allowed to date anybody else. Look,I I know how you feel about zach. And,look, I don't blame you. But he's part of the package right now, and either you can accept that or you can'T. Well,anyway mike,wait! I accept. Are you sure? Zach's your son. And I have julie, and you've totally accepted her. I mean,granted,she's been the model child so far. But she's almost 15. She's going to turn on me any minute. And you better be there to help me when it gets ugly. I will. Good night. - Uh,susan? - Yeah? Technically,we don't have to be casual anymore. I can be naked in 20 seconds. That includes travel time. Carlos,will you calm down? You incited a prison riot. It wasn't a riot. It was more of a melee. Who's going to defend me now? Doyle knew my case. He knew the judge.He called me a ***. Well,were you actinglike one? He refused to help meget a conjugal visit. Hold it. My lawyer's in tractionbecause you wanted sex? Not just for me,for us. In case you haven't noticed,carlos, our marriage is stillon shaky ground. And you thought a conjugal visit would fix it? It couldn't hurt. Ever since you've been in here,all we do is bicker. That's all we ever did whenI was out. That's what we do! Yeah,but whenwe would finish arguing, we would have this great sex.Now all we do is fight, and there's no payoff,and it sucks! You and I needto get laid! Oh,don't judge me. You're not in here becauseyou got caught helping the poor. See,we'd be enjoyingthis argument more if we had somethingto look forward to. Fine. Get the damn lawyer. And make it quick. I take it that wasmy good night kiss. George,you're a very special friend. You are,but rexhasn't been dead four weeks, so I think kissingon the lips is-- further thanyou want to go. Exactly.I hope you don't mind. Andrew,what are you doing? Taking out the garbage. Of course.You remember mr. Williams. Hi,andrew. George. Uh,well,it's getting late,so yeah. So let me know if you wantto go out to dinner again soon. There's a couple new restaurantsI'd like to try. You know,we've been eating outa lot lately. Why don't you come over fridayfor a home-cooked meal? Wouldn't that be nice?Oh,I would love that. So you leavingor what? We're not donetalking. She saidit was getting late. In case you missed that,that was a hint. Andrew that wasn't a hint. I'll gowhen I'm ready. Actually,it is getting late,and I am tired so see? You heard the lady.Now take off. Andrew. It's okay.He's not really that tough. He knows I would neverhit a child. Andrew! George! Stop it,the two of you,this instant! This wasa perfectly lovely evening, and now the both of youhave ruined it. I will not toleratethis kind of behavior. Do you understand? All right,then. George,we'll see you fridayfor dinner. I'll be serving fish. Hey,buddy. Hey,wake up,sleepyhead.Parker. Hi. Hiya,pal. Hey,what do you say you and me go getsome doughnuts,okay, before mommyhas to go to work? Yeah? Come on.Come on. Come on. Come on. All right. Oh. So what do you thinkyou're gonna have,huh? Jelly? 'Cause I thinkI'm gonna have a bear claw. Stop! I forgot mrs. Mulberry. What? Oh,um,well,since I'm here, maybe she could just relaxin the house for awhile,okay? No,I need her! Okay. Hello,mrs. Mulberry. Don't forget to buckle up. Here we go. Wait! You forgot her umbrella. Well,parker,we don't have time. No! she needs it. Hi. Hey,what are youstill doing here? I'm lookingfor parker's umbrella. Have you seen it?No. Nope. Sorry. Hey,honey,you better hurry. You're gonna be late for work. Thank you for that. I couldn't findmrs. Mulberry's umbrella, so I brought herher sun hat instead, all right? And here we go.It's in the shower. What? Mrs. Mulberry saysshe left it in the shower. Well,why didn'tmrs. Mulberryvolunteer that information before I turned your roomupside down looking for it,hmm? Are you going to go get it? No,I'm not gonna getthe damn umbrella! I'm so sorry,sweetie.I am not mad at you. What are you doing? we don't want doughnuts. Andrew,you are notleaving the house dressed like that. I'm just going to meetsome of the guys at the swim club. I don't care.Put this on. Every timeyou leave this house, you represent this family, and the least you can dois not humiliate us. A ripped t-shirtis just a look. Yes,a bad one. I hope you haven't made plansfor tomorrow night. Look,if you thinkI'm having dinner with the pharmacist,you're crazy. Part of the reasonI'm having him over is so that youcan get to know him. Yeah,well,I don't wantto get to know him. Honey,the feelingsthat you're having are perfectly normal. But george isn't tryingto take your father's place. He's--well,he's just a friend. Really? Just a friend? So you're not planningon getting more serious with this guyin the future? You know,I haven't eventhought about it. You're so transparent,it's pathetic. You're worried abouta ripped t-shirt humiliating this family? Wait till people see thatyou're dating the town nerd less than a month afteryour husband's funeral. I'll be serving dinnertomorrow night at 7. Please don't be late. I'm sorry,but I already have plans. Andrew,don't you havea meet at the swim club? Yeah,so? Doesn't it requirea large entrance fee, one that you can't affordby yourself? Are you blackmailing meinto coming to dinner? Oh,you don't knowthe lengths I'd go to for even seating. Mayer,is this yours? Blew into my front yard. Oh,sorry.I'm helping mike find zach. You know,so we can allrest easy at night. Uh-huh.And put him in jail? I don't think mike would do thatto his own son. You know? That mike's zach'sreal father? Yes. Oh. Julie told karl,karl told me, and I,well,sent outa few e-mails. Well,thanksfor your discretion. Boy,you would do anything to get mike delfinoto love you. So what's gonna happento little creepy when he gets here? Are you gonna betucking him in at night? Making him breakfastin the morning? Careful to bob and weave as hetries to blow your head off? You know,edie,could you just back off? I mean,the truth is,we're probably nevergonna find zach anyway. It's a needle in a haystack. Oh,I see. And then you'll still come offas little miss perfect,self-sacrificing girlfriend, putting his needs ahead of yours. Oh,why,you connivinglittle shrew. I don't know whywe're not closer. There was a reason david bradley was the most successful lawyer in all of fairview. His arguments were persuasive no one ever has to know. His manner was forceful take it off.Take it off. And he tended to win on appeal. Please. And when it came to the more challenging cases, he knew it was to his advantage to raise the first objection. I'm not gonna takeyour case. What? yes. sorry to interrupt,mr. Bradley. Your dinner just canceled.Want me to pull the reservation? No,I still have to eat.I'm sorry,where were we? You were about to turn me down,and then you reconsidered once you realized I was gonnathrow a ton of money at you, which I am. Ah. It's not about the moneyfor me anymore,mrs. Solis. The fact is,if I don't feelpassionately about a client, if I don't feelthat fire in my belly, I don't bringmy a-game to court, and from what I've read,it'll take my a-gameto save your husband. Is this aboutthe gay bashing thing? He's innocent. He went berserkand attacked a man in court. Yeah,but that wasa jealousy thing. The man that my husbandwas trying to kill in court is not the least bit gay,trust me. Your file also saysyou're seeking conjugal visits. Trying to keepthe old marriage alive,huh? Why does everybodyhave a problem with me having sexwith my husband? Can I be frank? Only if it ends with megetting what I want. Your marriage is doomed. Excuse me? I've been doing thisfor a long time,mrs. Solis. I know what incarcerationcan do to a relationship. Marriage is hard enough, but when you throw incement walls, armed guards,iron bars, it tends to go downhillrather quickly. Conjugal visitsnotwithstanding. But I-- listen,you want my advice? Walk away. You're young. You made a mistake.You learn from it. Maybe next timeyou'll marry smarter. Now if you'll excuse me,I have dinner reservations. Reservation. You're eating alone,remember? And I have a feelingit's not the first time. I'm so sorryI couldn't get here sooner. I forgot my husbandhad to take our youngest to the pediatricianand it's all right,mrs. Scavo. Sowhat did parker do? Are you aware that your sonhas an imaginary friend, a mrs. Mulberry? Yes. We've met. Well,um,yesterday, parker demanded that mrs. Mulberry get her own easelduring art,which was fine. But today it was a desk. And unfortunately,we didn't have an extra desk. That must have been ugly. It was. Patty was rammed with this. Oh. I am so sorry. Mrs. Scavo, have you experienceda death in your family recently? No. No. Why? Imaginary friends are oftencreated as a coping mechanism to--to deal with loss. Uh-huh. Or it might occur as the resultof some major change or extensive alterationin their lives. Exactly. A manifestation ofsome deep-seated unhappiness. Can you think of anything that might sheda little bit of light on this for us? Mrs. Scavo? thank you. And I'm thinking,it's the golden gate bridge. What a great place to geta picture of the sunset. So I lean out way over the rail to get the shot. Next thing I know,the police arrive. People had called 9-1-1from their cell phones. Thought I was suicidal. I can't believe how wellthose two are getting along. Yeah,it's freaky. Andrew is beingpolite and engaging. He's even laughingat george's jokes. That's whyit's freaky. George's jokesaren't funny. so,george,can I ask you a question? And it's kind of personal. Sure. Have you ever actuallybeen with a woman? Excuse me? Well,let's be honest.I think it's obvious by the waythat you talk and act that you're not a player, so I was just curiousto find out if you had ever actuallygotten in the game. My experience with womenis none of your business. Oh,I think it is. I mean,you're dating my mom. And we both knowthat at your age, dating's a little morethan just holding hands. We're not dating exactly. Oh,sure you are. And you know what?I think it's great. But I wanna make suremy mom's happy, you know,and it wouldreally set my mind at ease to know that she's with a guythat knows how to please a lady. This is inappropriate. You know,my parentshad a great sex life. Man,I heard 'em throughthe wall of my bedroom once. Please shut up. You should've heardmy mom,too. She had this--this weird moan. It was kind of like,um mmm. Isn't that bizarre? That's the soundmy mom makes when she climaxes. Okay. Time for cobbler. Sorry,one of the dessert platesdoesn't match. I tried to replace it,but it's spode florence. It's a rare pattern. It belongedto my grandmother. But hopefully onceyou taste the dessert, you'll forget all about it. I'm not hungry. George,you have to have this.It's absolutely scrumptious. (Mouths words) go to your room! George! You heard me.Go to your room. Mr. Williams,what's wrong? Did I say something wrong? Bree,please back me up. Well,what did he say? I can't say. It's too sordid.But he said it! Are you gonnaback me up or what? George,I can't allow youto discipline my child if you won't even tell mewhat he did. George. George! mrs. Solis,david bradley. Look,I feel really bad about the tone of our meeting, so to make up for it,I'm gonna do you a favor. The more I think of it, the more I'm convinced your marriage is a train wreck-- the gnarly type,you know,mass casualties. Anyway,I'm passing on the name of a great divorce lawyer,kir-- you have some nerve, leaving that messageon my machine. You realize this isentirely inappropriate? I will tell youwhat is inappropriate. You making sweeping assumptions about the state of my marriage. Care for a drink? No! I like to keep a clear headwhen I'm telling people off. What makes you think you knowanything about me or my husband? Well,your husband's recordspeaks for itself. With you,I had to relyon my instincts. Would those bethe same instincts that picked outthat cologne? You're privileged.You're pampered. You're spoiled. You want what you wantwhen you want it. You want excitement. A quickie every five monthsin a prison trailer isn't gonna scratchthat itch. With all due respect,I will decide for myself what needs to be scratchedand when. Mrs. Solis,you are a beautiful, desirable woman. Now your husbandis a ***, corrupt,violent criminal. You could doso much better. Are you hitting on me? What would you sayif I were? I'd say I'm pregnant. So I see,you're stuck. I'm not stuck,mr. Bradley. Believe it or not,I love my husband. I charge $700 an hour, plus xeroxing. I'll pay you 6, and I expect a conjugal visittomorrow by noon. Aren't you demanding? Like you said I want what I wantwhen I want it. So a womanI talked to at social services said a lot of runawayshang out here. What? Just happy to bespending the day with you. At homeless sheltersand bus stations? I'm gonna go ask these guysif they've seen zach. I think we'll covermore ground if we split up. Okay. Thanks. Have you seen this boy? Uh,missing kid. Anyone? Going once going twice? Oh,do you mind keeping those and passing them outwhen people get their ice cream? What? Well,isn't that him,over there? Zach! Zach! Oh,no,no,no,no. Don't,don't,don't,don'T.Zach! Don't,don'T.Zach,don't run away! Wait! Come on! Just--would youget back here?! Come on,really!Let's just talk! Damn it,zach! It's enough already. nobody herehas seen zach. But there's a halfway house on the westsideI want to check out. Are you okay? I got you some ice cream. You did? But then I got hungry. So then I just threwmy ice cream at him and ran. Well,somebody say something. Thank godyou were in flats. I'm still recovering frommike is zach's real father. I should've told mikeI saw zach. I'm a horrible person,right? Oh,susan,come on. Zach attacked felicia.He blew up your kitchen. Evidently,he tried to kill mike. I think we can all agreethis kid's a freak. What do you think,bree? Well,I think given everythingthat's happened, it's perfectly justified thatyou'd be frightened of zach. But but zachis mary alice's son. He grew up playingin our yards. If he has any hopeof surviving, I have to believe he's betteroff here than on the streets. I couldn't have imagined how much going back to workwould upset parker. Look,he's going to be fine.He's just gotta get used to daddy providingall the love. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I am kidding. Look,kids are resilient.He will adapt. Tom,he attacked a teacherwith an umbrella. It was a poke.He poked her. I don't know. Maybe I shouldn'tbe working. The kids wouldcertainly benefit from havingtwo stay-at-home parents, although buying foodmight become an issue. Maybe I could changemy work schedule, try and get some flex time. Would nina go for that? No. No. No,no,no! No,no,no! It would help if youcame up with some ideas. How about hugs? Hugs? Yeah,I read inone of those family magazines the kids are supposedto get,like,ten hugs a day. It makes 'em feelmore secure. I say pile on the hugs. That'll fix everything?Hugs? Yeah. Come here. come here. Hey. Hi. It's working,isn't it? Shut up. Hey,buddy,you busy? Yes. Mrs. Mulberry'sreading to me. Well,isn't she nice? But it's time for bed,so I'mgonna tuck you in,okay? I'll take that. No! I know thingshave been hard for you since I started backto work, but it is just as hard for meto be away from you. And you just haveto remember that even whenI'm not around, my love for you is real. You may not be ableto see it, but it's not imaginarylike mrs. Mulberry. It's real. Okay,honey? Mrs. Mulberry is real, and she said you're a liar. Parker. Parker. We're reading. I don't understand. Why can't we see each otheranymore? Because ever since I found outwhat andrew said to you, I've been doingsome soul searching, and I realize thateverything's that happened is completely my fault. No,no,no, that's ridiculous.No,it's not. All the thingsthat andrew's been saying and the wayhe's been acting, it's all connectedto his father's death. And it's clear to me that I need to spend more timefocusing on him and his needs. You know you're right. You do needto focus on andrew. Thank you,george,for being so understanding. Of course. So have you thoughtabout counseling? That placeyou sent him to-- that behavioralmodification camp-- he got counseling there,right? But I only sent him there because his behavior at the timewas so completely out of bounds. You don't think that whathe said to me was out of bounds? I just think if I spenta lot of time with him, it'll really help.Why not do both? Let him spend a few monthswith some caring professionals, and then bring him home. You know,what he saidto you was horribly rude, but that camp,it's extreme, and,I mean,unless I feltlike andrew was getting really out of control,then well,let's hopeit doesn't come to that. You know,in spite ofeverything that's happened, I really like andrew. Oh,george,really? Yeah. The truth is he reminds me of me. The conjugal visit rules areyou got 45 minutes. We call every 15 minutesto make sure you're still here. You understand? Yes,we got it. Uh,we interrupt our lovemakingto answer the phone, or you call out the dogs.Okay! I'm ready whenever you obviously are. Carlos,are we gonna make it? We just did.You want to go again? No,I'm talkingabout us-- our relationship,our marriage. Carlos,you're goingto be a father. And when you get outta here,you're gonna need to get a job and make an honest livingfor me and our child. Babe,I've learned my lesson. Okay,when I get out of here,everything's gonna be different. We're going to start over witha new life and a great family, and nothing is going toget in the way of that. Hey,so you never told me-- how's the new lawyer?You like him? yeah. Yeah,I'm still here. Okay,enough chitchat.We only have 30 minutes left, and I want to makethe most of it. Okay,please--please don't run. I can'T. I hurt my foot. How? I landed on it funny whenI was running away from you. What do you want? To talk to you. Why? 'Cause I havea lot of things to say. So you can just listen.I'll buy you some food. When was the last timeyou ate? My dad's alive?Where is he? I don't know.He disappeared. But mike did not kill him.I mean,he's alive,you swear? I swear.Maybe he's in utah. I know that he used tohave a life there-- before me. I don't know.I just--I just-- I need to get some moneyand find him. Zach,you know what I think? I think you should come back with me.Why? Because there are still peopleat home that care about you. And there's thingsthat you need to know. Like what? Well,I can't tell you. You know,you messed upa lot of people's lives,zach. You can't run awayfrom that. Do you mean julie? What? I know that I messed upher life, but I didn't mean to. I really miss herout here. I think about herall the time. Yeah,well,julie'sa really special girl. Has she said anythingabout me? Because if she has,then I mightstill have a chance with her. If I come backwith you, then I-I couldmake it up to her. Do you know what I think? I think you were right. I think you shouldtry to find your father first. Yeah?Yeah. I mean,now that you know he's okay, you should go to him. He'll want totake care of you. That's what parents do. Let me help. How much money do you thinkyou'll need to get to utah? Daddy,I can't findmrs. Mulberry's umbrella. Where is it? Oh,I don't know,sport. Honey,have you seen the umbrella? No,can't say that I have. Okay,listen,don't worry about it. I'm sure mrs. Mulberry'saround here somewhere. Or,uh,maybe she's not. She could've left.You know maybe she had someother little boy that she needed to help. Like who? I don't know. It could bea little boy in,uh england named spencer. Lynette? I mean,this isconjecture on my part. But it is possible thatsomeone like little spencer needs mrs. Mulberry more,'cause he doesn't have a daddy and a mommy who love him. Yeah,that's it. He's an orphan with no hands. Okay? You're so sweet. Come here.I love you. You all right? Okay,go get dressed. What have you doneto mrs. Mulberry? Until there's a body,there's no evidence of a crime. Mrs. Mulberry! She's back! Goodie. Mrs. Mulberry's back! She got ran over.She's dead. Don't you worry.I'm here. Maybe it's okay,buddy.Maybe we can call 9-1-1 or-- no,tom,she's gone. swimmers,take your marks. George,what are you doing here? Don't worry,bree,I'll be quick. I thought about what you said,and you're right. Andrew needs his space. Well,thank you,george. It'Sbest that I stay away. And I completely understand if you want to changepharmacists but I did want to give youa little good-bye gift. george! It's my pattern!Where did you find it? I got luckyon an online auction. I love it! Thank you! Oh! George? Oh,george! George. George. Andrew,what are you doing?! Andrew! Get off of him,andrew! Stop it! Knock it off! Did you see him?!He was kissing her! Oh,my god,you're bleeding. That freak was kissing her! I don't care.You gotta calm down now. The world is filled with good fathers. How do we recognize them? They're the ones who are missed so terribly that everything falls apart in their absence. They're the ones who love us long before we've even arrived. They're the ones who come looking for us when we can't find our way home. hey,what's wrong? Because of me, my son's imaginary friendgot crushed by a garbage truck. I am the worst personin the world. Yes,the world is filled with good fathers honey,he is going to getover this in no time. Trust me. And one daywhen he is all grown up, you and parker are going tolaugh hysterically about this. You really think so?Really? And the best are the ones who make the women in their lives I promise. Feel like good mothers.