Should Men Always Pay for The First Date? - Who pays on 1st dates the man or woman?

[0:00:00] Should a man always pay on the first date? It seems like a simple question but it doesn’t have a simple answer. They pulled 20,000 individuals. What they found 10% said yes, a man should always pay. Ten percent exact opposite. No, it should always be 50-50. And then there were the 80% right in the middle. They were uncertain. They said, well it depends on the situation. And there were a lot of situations. Guys, I don’t like uncertainty. So, I want to give you three rules that you can use to determine whether or not you should pay on the first date or go 50-50 in addition. I did some information research one out there. Saw what the ladies were saying. How they’re kind of deciphering the signals that are sent when you offered to pay or when you don’t. Guys, I’ll talk about all that and why it matters in today’s video. So as I was going through the research there are two things that really stood out to me. One is that men over 80% of the time are still paying for the first date in full. Now the reasons for doing it were interesting. A lot of them they just want to be perceived and they wanted to come off as a gentleman. They also felt it was something that men needed to do. Maybe that’s the way they were raised. Some men actually felt guilty having a woman pay for any part of the date. But what was more interesting to me was the fact that women used it, the vast majority of the time, as a signal to indicate whether this guy is really interested in them. In fact, one woman she had her rules. She talked about if I never want to see this guy again and I want to get out of there, I pay for the entire thing and I leave. If I like him but I never want to see him, he’s a nice guy, 50-50. But if I really like and I want to see him again then I will let him pay for that date and then I will offer to pay for the next one. This even got better. Cause they start talking about how women in their 20s often times push to go 50-50. But as women got a little bit older and they realized they’ve been dating quite a bit more, they realized it’s a waiting out factor to very quickly tell if a guy is really interested or not will he pay for the entire date, so very interesting stuff there. Rule #1: A man should always pay or try to pay for the first date. I know I’m going to rile some people up. They were like no, Antonio, you got to go 50-50. A man shouldn’t have to do that. I get it. But I was raised conservative. By the research I saw the vast majority of women this is what they’re looking for. So there are definitely exceptions to this rule. But for me I think the man should always be prepared to pay the first date. Rule #2: If you ask for the date, you pay for the date. I like this rule a lot. It actually makes sense because some guys are being asked out by women. But the vast majority of the time we’re going to almost go back to rule #1 men are asking women out. But I like this rule because it gives you justification in the case that she’s saying I want to go 50-50. You can simply say hey how about you grab dessert. I asked you out. I love this rule because it goes to show that you have respect for the individual. That you appreciate your time with them and that you want to show them that you are still interested. Now if you’re not really interested in them and they want to pay 50-50, I guess you can go ahead and split it to kind of maybe send off that signal that yeah we probably won’t see each other again. But I love this rule because if you asked somebody out you should definitely be prepared to pay for them. Rule #3: Keep it playful. So you don’t want this to ruin a date and you may be really interested in this person and she may be at that 10% that she wants to go 50-50. If you’re really that much interested in her then you’re going to have to understand this is an area that you’re going to have to compromise on. But I think you can be playful. You can be fun. You can go pay for the bill when she’s not looking. You can go ahead and say hey I really love spending time with you. Let’s continue this on. How about you get drinks at the bar. I’ll get this bill. Often times this is a great way. What she’s looking for her is wit, is humor, is a higher level of intelligence. Women loved it when a man is playful. It shows that they can have fun. Guys, it’s an easy ways for you to go ahead and make sure to pay for that date. So those are my three rules. But now let’s answer some frequently asked questions. I paid for the date. What am I entitled to? You’re entitled to nothing. Come on. If you’re asking that question, we have a problem here. You have simply just pay for a date. You have just pay for the meal. That’s all. You’re entitled to a good time with the person you’re with. That doesn’t mean that you’re going to be able to get something after the date – a kiss or further. No. You are not entitled to anything because you pay for the date. FAQ 2: What if I’m low on funds? I can’t afford to take them to that super nice restaurant. Well guys, think about and make sure you plan what this is going to cost and make sure you can cover. And a date doesn’t have to be expensive. Take her dancing. Take her hiking. Take her out for coffee. Take her to simply out for a drink. You don’t have to spend a whole lot of money to spend quality time with a person. [0:04:59] Tip #3: Always carry cash. Have enough cash to be able to pay for the date. Yeah. I’m sure you’ve got it on your credit cards. But what happens if it doesn’t work. They don’t take American Express at this place. Or, you go to a joint and its cash only. Guys, you don’t want to embarrass yourself and you want to be able to send that signal that the person is important; important enough that you’re willing to pay for it. FAQ 4: We’re on our fifth date and she’s never paid for anything. If you’re asking this question you have an issue with it. It’s probably not a great fit or you need to talk to her about this. Everything I’m talking about in this video is for the first date. Now second date, third date, fourth date, fifth date, well yeah, maybe you should be going 50-50. Most people are going to be in that 80% where we want someone to at least make an effort. If you have an issue with her not paying anything then bring it up and it may be a great a signal. This isn’t the right person for you. So I talked about the studies, I talked about the stats. Here is what actual women are saying about men and I’m going to talk about who they are, what their profession. I got a dating coach here. She said modern men should do things old school. I kind of agreed there. A journalist, her take is you asked them, you go ahead and you pay out. That makes sense. There was a sex blogger. Her take is to go 50-50 every time. So if you’re dating a sex blogger be aware they’ll probably want to go 50-50 but that’s a pretty big generality. A stand-up comic. She’s like hey don’t forget who makes 20% more. The guy pays. She takes a little bit humor on that but yeah men in general make more. I don’t know if they’ll stay up there forever but there you go. The glamour girl, a.k.a. a model. Her take is you’ve got to spend the money to impress the girl. So if you want to date a model or you are dating a model, something to consider. The academic. Her take. Don’t try to buy a woman. So if you’re dating a very smart educated woman who has a master’s degree in women studies you probably want to go 50-50. Alright, the athlete. She wants to see a guy make the gesture. She wanted to see a gentleman. So that’s’ what the athlete is saying. We got the showbiz reporter. Her take. Pay but for the right reasons and her thing was don’t expect anything which I talked about. Next stop we’ve got the feminist pundit. Her take is it should not matter. Then we’ve got a *** star and she insists that men go all the way. There you go guys. Now it’s your turn. Let me know down the comments. Did you like this video? Do you agree? Do you disagree with my stance? And if you want more on manners and etiquette, stuff we’re talking about her at Real Men Real Style I want you to go grab this book. I’m going to link to it down the description. My friend Brett McKay over the Art of Manliness along with Ted Slampyak. Sorry, Ted. I know I just butchered that. But I’ve known these guys for a decade and this is probably one of their best books ever. I loved it. It is an illustrated. Not only the men style but all types of how to sharpen a pocket knife. How to change a flat tire. How to throw an uppercut. How to fire a gun. How to develop situational awareness. So much great stuff. Not just manners. Anything you want to learn. Go check this out. And I’ve got this pocket square here because if you send me a receipt that you grabbed this at your Barnes and Noble on Amazon wherever, send me that receipt, I will get you 24 hours in advance access. And I’m going to be giving away this new pocket squares on July 18. Guys, I had 500 of this made. Look at these beautiful pocket squares. I’m giving these away for free, 500. When I do this, they’re one within 24 hours. Obviously, free is a pretty good price. Now you do have to pay for shipping and handling. Come on. I ain’t your daddy. I’m not going to pay for everything. But I can tell you that is incredibly reasonable and these pocket squares easily could sell for $25. These are just beautiful. Guys, thank you really appreciate your support. I’m going to link to everything I just talked about down in the description of this video. That’s it guys. Take care. I’ll see you in the next video. [0:09:14] End of Audio