Song and Dance by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Don Black - Dialogue and Script

TAKE THAT LOOK OFF YOUR FACE I can't quite believe it, I'm actually here,  The one place on earth I want to be.  New York is just short of perfection they say.  The one thing it lacks is me. It's all so amazing, the size and the noise.  Why it's still alive at five A.M.  And that drive in the eyes of New York girls, oo,  I'd like to be one of them. Take that look off your face.  What's the joke, if you please?  Oh, I knew what you'd say,  English girls come by plane loads each day  and you fear that I'll lose myself like so many do.  Well, I've got news for you:  I'm frightened too. I'm glad to have you, Viv, a friend over here  who's had a whole year to learn the ropes.  This guy that I'm with, this drummer from Queens,  he's crazy, but I have hopes. Take that look off your face.  Oh, I knew how you'd be.  You think I'm the same girl  who lets men take advantage of me, here's one more.  And he's possibly using me, it's true.  Still, I'm here in New York;  Who's using who?! Take that look off your face!  Don't go off in a tizz.  I am here to have fun  finding out what America is.  Can't you see I'm no longer the mess I used to be.  You're my best friend and yet,  you don't know me. So get used to me here.  I am gonna work hard,  get my card, have a brilliant career,  stay in love, and outshine any New York girl you'd see.  If you think that I won't,  you don't know me! LET ME FINISH Just what time of night do you call this?  Well, it's three A.M. It's my first night here;  where the hell were you?  Let me finish, I said let me finish.  Of course, that's the answer, you're a musician.  No prob. I've been rather busy all evening;  Mary Ellen called, Margarita called, Jane or Janet called.  Let me finish, I said let me finish.  This is not what I came here for.  I came all of this way to be with you.  If I like being bored I'd have stayed in art school.  A New York girl wouldn't stand for this!  This is not what I came here for.  Don't you know what this whole trip means to me?  I am here cuz of you and cuz my friend Vivian says I've the talent to get on here.  Do you think that I don't? I do!  Did you really think I was joking?!  You have got a nerve, no I didn't write Janet's number down!  I can't believe that you actually said that.  I'd have to be bonkers to put up with this.  Where the hell did I put my bags.  I really think there's nothing to keep me here.  And if you call me "Emma Baby" one more time I will scream.  That's it! Let me finish.  I don't even care where I go!  I don't often stand up for myself,  but it's time that I started.  Oh, by the way, Chuck, I spilled tea on your bongos. Well that's that, can't think of a reason to stay.  Goodbye. And I'll pay you back for the air fare. Please don't start to make excuses,  you don't want a second chance.  All this is is empty rubbish.  Spare me please the song and dance. All I want is something honest,  that's what's gone from this romance.  We had fun, but now it's over.  There, goodbye, no song and dance. SO MUCH TO DO IN NEW YORK I guess that's one way to have an arrival,  first night here out on my ear.  New York's first lesson they say is survival.  Well, all right, look at this night. First I must get my green card, I don't dare take a chance.  For if I'm caught working they'll simply deport me,  and no one will see all the fabulous hats that I make.  Need one break. So much to do in New York when you're single.  Where to start, ballet or art?  So much to do in New York with no money;  thousand pounds, less than it sounds.  I'm making plans, but I've no place to live.  It's three A.M. Goodbye Chuck. Hello Viv. FIRST LETTER HOME Mum, I've got a lot to tell you.  Me and Chuck have had a bust up.  Now before you pull your hair out,  Viv has given me a room.  And I've met this film producer.  Please don't laugh, his name is Sheldon. He says he can get my green card  or his name's not Sheldon Bloom. Sheldon comes from California  and he wants to take me out there.  Oh, thanks for your last letter.  I was thrilled to hear from you.  I'm enclosing fifty dollars.  If you want that dress, then buy it.  Oh, incidentally, Sheldon's mum likes Liberace, too! There are lots of things I miss here.  No one makes a normal sandwich.  You need Goliath's mouth to try and get through one of them.  Sheldon's got a house in Bel Air.  Well, it's really a pink mansion.  It's got electric gates and armed guards,  and he calls it "La Boheme!" Mum, I don't know how to say this,  but American men are different.  They seem at first quite normal,  but I really fear they're not!  They're all buzzy and electric,  and so proud to be neurotic!  And the thought of growing older seems to bother them a lot! Mum, New York is just amazing.  I wish I could stay longer,  but Sheldon's so dynamic he is sweeping me away.  He is funny he is handsome... strangely handsome.  Well, there's no words to describe him.  You can't imagine Sheldon Bloom unless you know L.A. ENGLISH GIRLS He has got everything, but all he wants is me.  He loves to hear me talk. How lucky can you be?  He loves to hear me say, "When does the post arrive?"  So I keep talking, I just keep talking,  and he keeps saying he can't live without me. English girls get all their own way.  English girls don't need much to say.  An accent works wonders,  that's why English girls do great in L.A.  (Oh, excuse me....I've got to go to the loo........the loo!  Oh, yes, from London. We'd love to come to your party!) He introduces me to all his famous friends.  They love to hear me talk, the talking never ends.  He loves to hear me sing "I could have danced all night."  And it's so easy, it couldn't be more easy,  and he keeps saying he can't live without me. English girls get all their own way.  English girls know just hat to say.  An accent works wonders,  that's why English girls do great in L.A. (Oh Mum, you can't imagine!  In New York I didn't meet anyone from back home,  but out here they're everywhere!  There's a whole shop in Santa Monica just packed  with girls buying English newspapers and digestive biscuits!) English girls sound ever so smart.  English girls have got a head start.  Joan Collins? I ask you.  That's why English girls keep milking the part.  English girls get all their own way.  English girls are pampered all day.  He loves me. I feel it, and it's lovely being loved in L.A.  People must buy hats in L.A.  I think I just may stay in L.A. CAPPED TEETH AND CAESAR SALAD Capped teeth and Caesar salad,  good old Beverly Hills, with every deal that's done  an award is won. You can rent a car  or rent a star. Suntans and Sunday brunches.  Sprinklers sprinkle away. It's like a fairy tale,  long as you don't inhale.  I'll call you back and have a nice day. Capped teeth and Caesar salad. Spotless Beverly Hills.  If someone takes a walk  all the neighbors talk.  Ev'ry man and beast  came from out east. Earthquakes and English muffins.  Ulcers poppin' away.  The films are being hyped  before the scripts are typed.  I'll call you back and have a nice day.  "Hello...Mr. Bloom's office."  (Hello! Can I speak to Sheldon, please?)  "No, I am afraid Mr. Bloom's at a screening.  If you would like to leave word,"  (Oh, yes.)  "We'll get right back to you."  "Thank you for calling  Have a nice day."  You have a nice day, too...and a nice swim! Capped teeth and Caesar salad. Cozy Beverly Hills.  Out here a woman shops  until her chauffeur drops.  When her bosoms droop  fifty surgeons swoop. Don't work - sit and look pretty.  Keep you boredom at bay.  Out here the rainbow ends  in your Mercedes Benz. I'll call you back and have a nice day. (to herself) Hello, Mr. Bloom's office. Who is this?  Oh, Emma! Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Bloom's not in to you, Emma.  Never, never, never to Emma, Emma, Emma.  Yes I know, I'm just one of Mr. Bloom's possessions,  one of his things. An object DART, that's what I am.  Just a soggy crumpet floating around the pool all day long. I'll call you back and have a nice day. YOU MADE ME THINK YOU WERE IN LOVE You made me think you were in love,  you made me think that I was all you'd need.  You made me think you were in love,  if they gave Oscars for deceit you would win.  Plastic man, hear me if you can. You made me think you were in love,  you could've used your charm on someone else.  You made me think you were the one  it's hard to see the truth when dazzled by lights.  Hollow man, break down if you can. Exit. Way out. Exit. Fade out.  It's a wrap, no more takes, we're through.  Exit. Print it. Exit. Goodbye.  Find someone else at a theater near you.  I've seen this movie and I hated it before.  Fade out. Exit. Cut. You made me think you were in love,  we're both too old to play these kind of games.  I get the feeling when you see me,  you see an actress who's pretending to cry.  Busy man, see me if you can. Exit. Way out. Exit. Fade out.  It's a wrap, no more takes, we're through.  Exit. Print it. Exit. Goodbye.  Find someone else at a theater near you.  I've had enough of you lies and your phony deals.  I've had enough of your name dropping boring meals.  I've had it with things, and Sheldon, how good it feels.  Fade out. Exit. Cut! CAPPED TEETH AND CAESAR SALAD (REPRISE) Capped teeth and Caesar salad. Blood clot Beverly Hills. When business starts to dip wheel out the glucose strip. Have a cutthroat time with a twist of lime. Dreamers trapped in a jewel box. Big names fading away. It's like a wonderland  except the laughter's canned. I'll call you back and, have a nice day. SO MUCH TO DO IN NEW YORK (II) Wonder if I have become a New Yorker.  N. Y. C. seems home to me.  Viv says that I'll never be a New Yorker.  I don't care, I like this air. New York's the place to be, funny how things work out,  a boy from Nebraska that I met in Macy's  has stopped me from thinking of ev'rything else but his smile.  That's some smile. I never planned that I'd find someone special.  Somehow he seems right for me.  Joe is so open and that's why he's special.  What's inside he doesn't hide.  Joe's like no Englishman I ever met.  If I have loved other men I forget. SECOND LETTER HOME Mum, I know you'll think I'm putty, but this time I've really found him. Joe is what they call Midwestern. How to tell you what that means? He is open, optimistic, and makes ev'rything seem easy, and what he likes to wear are bright red cowboy boots and jeans. His idea of an evening is a picnic on the carpet.  I set out fried chicken and a bottle of Chablis.  He sells software and must travel,  so at home he likes relaxing,  and as we talk he runs his finger times all over... Joe lives down in Greenwich Village;  that's a trendy part of New York.  He shares a loft with an attorney  with the unlikely name of Dwight!  Dwight says he'll get my green card,  unless you and Dad are Cuban.  So if you haven't lied, Mum, I ought to be all right. UNEXPECTED SONG I have never felt like this,  For once I'm lost for words,  your smile has really thrown me.  This is not like me at all,  I never thought I'd know  the kind of love you've shown me. Now no matter where I am, no matter what I do,  I see your face appearing  like an unexpected song,  an unexpected song that only we are hearing. I don't know what's going on,  can't work it out at all.  Whatever made you choose me? I just can't believe my eyes,  you look at me as though  you couldn't bear to lose me. Now no matter where I am, no matter what I do,  I see your face appearing  like an unexpected song,  an unexpected song that only we are hearing. I have never felt like this,  For once I'm lost for words,  your smile has really thrown me. This is not like me at all,  I never thought I'd know  the kind of love you've shown me. Now no matter where I am, no matter what I do,  I see your face appearing  like an unexpected song,  an unexpected song that only we are hearing.  Like an unexpected song,  an unexpected song that only we are hearing! COME BACK WITH THE SAME LOOK IN YOUR EYES I will see you in a week or two  it's late, you better get going.  Take care of yourself and  call any time you feel that you're missing me.  I can only say what I always say at these goodbyes.  Come back with the same look in your eyes. I know you've got your work to do,  and I know how much you love me,  but sometimes a friendly face  can look good to you on a lonely night.  If there comes a time just remember I'm the kind that cries.  Come back with the same look in your eyes. Everything we want we find in each other.  We would be fools to let love slip away.  Everything's so right I'm scared  that we might loose it one day.  We could never keep things from one another,  you know all the feelings that are in my heart.  It's not easy, it's not easy when you have to be apart. So I'll see you in a week or two. Go on, you better get going. You'd think that by now we'd know how to handle this  but we never will.  When you are away ev'ry day I pray that nothing dies,  and you'll come back with the same look in your eyes. It's not easy, it's not easy when you have to be apart. So I'll see you in a week or two.  It's late, you better get going.  You'd think that by now we'd know how to handle this  but we never will.  When you are away ev'ry day I pray that nothing dies,  and you'll come back with the same look.  Please come back with the same look.  Won't you come back with the same look in your eyes. TAKE THAT LOOK OFF YOUR FACE (REPRISE) Well, I'm always glad to see you, Viv.  You must be mistaken, it couldn't have been  you couldn't have seen him yesterday.  He's doing some deal down in Baltimore now,  I hate it when he's away. You must be mistaken, I'm sure that you are.  There's more than one car with stickers on  and lots of young guys wear corduroy shirts,  and I'd know if he hadn't gone. Take that look off your face.  I can see through your smile.  You would love to be right.  I bet you didn't sleep good last night,  couldn't wait to bring all of that bad news to my door.  Well, I've got news for you: I knew before. If I'm not mistaken, I know when it came,  in fact I can name the very day.  When we started to plan the future and all,  Joe started to pull away.  No, I didn't dig deep.  I did not want to know.  Well, you don't interfere  when you're scared of the things you might hear.  Bet you think I should end this right now as you would do.  Well, my hard bitten friend, I am not you. Take that look off your face!  I can see through your smile.  You would love to be right.  I bet you didn't sleep good last night,  couldn't wait to bring all of that bad news to my door.  Well, I've got news for you: I knew before.  I can see through your smile.  You would love to be right.  I bet you didn't sleep good last night,  couldn't wait to bring all of that bad news to my door.  Well, I've got news for you:  I knew before! All the signs are showing up now:  nervous laugh and furtive glance.  He has left, but can't admit it.  Now it starts, the song and... TELL ME ON A SUNDAY Don't write a letter when you want to leave.  Don't call me at 3 A.M. from a friend's apartment.  I'd like to choose how I hear the news.  Take me to a park that's covered with trees.  Tell me on a Sunday please. Let me down easy, no big song and dance.  No long faces, no long looks, no deep conversation.  I know the way we should spend the day.  Take me to a zoo that's got chimpanzees.  Tell me on a Sunday please. Don't want to know who's to blame,  it won't help knowing.  Don't want to fight day and night  bad enough you're going. Don't leave in silence with no words at all.  Don't get drunk and slam the door,  that's no way to end this,  I know how I want you to say goodbye.  Find a circus ring with a flying trapeze.  Tell me on a Sunday please. I don't want to fight day and night,  bad enough you're going.  Don't leave in silence with no words at all.  Don't get drunk and slam the door,  that's no way to end this.  I know how I want you to say goodbye.  Don't run off in the pouring rain.  Don't call me as they call your plane.  Take that hurt out of all the pain.  Take me to a park that's covered with trees.  Tell me on a Sunday please. I LOVE NEW YORK/ SO MUCH TO DO IN NEW YORK (III) I love New York. I love New York.  I love the heat. I love the cars,  the Haagen Dazs, the Sunday Times,  the phones that work, the single bars,  the t.v. shows that play all night.  I love the smells, I love the height,  I love the banks, I love the crowds.  Oh! New York, I've never been so lonely.  Loneliness must be the worst feeling of all. What does it take till you feel you belong here,  till this place shines on your face?  Viv says new men make her feel she belongs here,  and she's right, met one last night. Paul is the kind of man you might say has it all,  including a wife and four kids up in West Port.  But married or not, somehow his eyes kept wand'ring towards me.  We'll, we'll see. What can you do in New York with a green card?  What a sight! God bless you Dwight.  No telling what I can do with a green card.  Watch my speed. Work's what I need.  Joe may not leave such a void after all,  with my career, no commitments and Paul. MARRIED MAN Skulking around, pretending that I do not know you. Making sure the looks I  throw you, aren't explicit. Don't make a sound, when I meet you where  you're working. Who'd have thought there's such fun lurking, in being illicit. Yes I have met Paul. How have you been? How's um, Shirley? Meet me in the hall, we mustn't both leave, early. There my Super stands with his broom. He's counting your clandestine trips to my room. I don't care. My affair, is my affair. West Port Execs, golfing in your  Izod V-Necks. Viv says you're there like Kleenex, to be used love. Desperate for sex. Meeting all those obligations. Family's bring such deep frustrations, oh, my confused love. Yes I do have thoughts,  on curing your, dilemma. When your family ties  need loosening, here's Emma. I don’t have to love you, you see. There is one more thing that I get  to be, not alone, not alone, not alone... THIRD LETTER HOME Mum, this letter is a quick one cuz  I'm working day and night now.  If things keep going well  I'll be the female Calvin Klein.  Viv's been a smashing friend, Mum,  introducing me to buyers.  People find my hats outrageous,  which in New York means they're fine! No, I never hear from Sheldon,  but I read what he is up to.  He's working on a musical  'bout Rommel as a boy.  Mum, I've never seen a drink here  that isn't full of ice cubes.  And I've ever met a waiter here  who doesn't say "Enjoy." I have met this married man, Mum.  Now don't go off the deep end.  It's just a bit of nonsense, oh,  I've made that very clear.  He's got four lovely children.  Well, I've only seen their pictures.  I never really miss him,  but I like it when he's here. I know you won't approve, Mum.  I feel I must have someone.  I know if Dad could see me... NOTHING LIKE YOU'VE EVER KNOWN Nothing like you've ever known, that's the life that I am gonna give to you, love.  We can both have all we need,  even though it only lasts from twelve to two, love. Married man, you are what I want for now,  a love that is not around me day and night  sounds just right. And nothing like you've ever dreamed.  I'll be there when your life needs a little shine, love.  When you go I'll cry no tear,  for a love without tomorrow suits me fine love. Married man, always looking at your watch,  so careful to park your car three blocks away.  That's O.K. No, nothing like you've ever known.  We can pour hearts out in an afternoon, love.  What we have is wonderful.  Quick, it's late, you have to go.  I'll see you soon love. FINALE Just what time of night do you call this?  What on earth is wrong?  Paul, it's half past two,  you should not be here.  Let me finish, I said let me finish.  I have to be up very early tomorrow.  All right, I can let you stay for a moment.  You must stop right now. Are you raving mad?  Don't say one word more.  Let me finish. I said let me finish.  You must not even think such things.  What we have in this room is very sweet,  but you'd have to be mad to think  I would want you to leave your wife and kids for me.  In a way it's almost a joke.  Do you know what went on with me today?  I sold my whole collection to Nieman Marcus.  Today's my best day since I've been here.  Paul, you have to go home right now.  Shirley need never find out about this.  Oh, I see, you've already told her.  No, I don't deny;  yes, I said those things,  but I did not mean...  Yes, you deserve all the joy that you found here! This isn't your only chance.  Oh, Paul, I love you but not in that way.  Please go. It won't seem so bad in the morning.  (Listen, we both went into this with our eyes open,  I never lied to you. I never promised you more.  We're all grown-ups. Shirley will take you back...in time.  I'm fond of you Paul, and I'll always be here for you,  anytime you need.) What in the hell have I done this time?  If you want something ruined, give it to me!  Show me a dream, and I'll show you a nightmare!  I'm not a little girl anymore, I keep forgetting that!  I set out to use Paul, and now look what I have done.  What kind of a person have I turned into?  'Cause I never used to be like this. A love really hurt me, I hurt someone back.  My work's had a great successful bow.  And that look of New York I wanted to have, oh Emma, I have it now.  Take that look off your face.  You were better naive  what you are always shows on your face  that's what people believe.  If you can't face the face in the mirror, who are you?  It's so simple and yet I never knew!  I'll be Emma again.  If it means being hurt, I'll be hurt,  but I'll like myself then. Ev'ry word that I'm saying will happen, wait and see.  If you think that it won't,  you don't know me, you don't know me!