Stella Starfucker - English subtitles

Welcome to the theathermagazine STARFUCKER We are home at the actor Stella Stjernholdt, -who has just received the most prestidios price you can have in her profession She has just been elected as the most selfeffacing actor in Denmark Yes, the golden sunglass, Stella. Cheers to you. Thankyou my friend. Were you surprised to be elected? I thought why me? Why Stella? Since there are so many other bright selfeffacing talents in danish theatre I felt so humble, that I rushed to the bathroom and wrote a film about my life in 8 episodes We will look forward to seing that. Who should instruct it? I don't like to ask anybody, so that will be myself. And the main role will also be me, and so with the supporting actors as well I just simply can't make myself ask anybody Right now you play "The happy widow" for full house Yes, unfortunately Unfortunately? I hate to be on stage and let the searchlight caress my body, while the ordience shouts -STELLA STELLA, and stamp rhytmically in the floor while they walk humming out That is very unpleasant You are herostratic famous for protecting your private life? Yes, I have 12-13 scrap-books with stories telling how I hate to speak about myself I also have to protect my 17 year old daughter who is at boarding school in Switzerland Her name is "Little Stella" and looks completely like me. Finally, what about the future? Well, bum bum bum, Gyldendal beg me to publish my memmoirs But you don't want to? Yes, but only if the book will not be too much about myself Whet then, Maude? Etc........ Good evening, how may I tempt you? Well, what would you like honey? I would like the last supper, sweet hart What can you recommend? We have a delicious menu, salmonella with pesticide-cream It's really good What is champignon-surprise? That is a very delicat musroom dish, with mushrooms picked in totally darkness Is salat combined with the dish? We have fresh killer-algae with "forest-death" Sounds good What are you saying, honey? Lovely Can we share? We would like to survive to the main course? Yes, off course As main dish I recommend raw chicken, that has been on a radiator during the night Is an ambulance included in the price? Yes, certainly We would like the transportation to go a little slowly Don't worry, both rear tires are flattened. I suggest we start right now then? If your husbond dies first -do you the want him cremated in Grand Marnier at the table, or have him with you home? Can we discuss that later? Off course You want something to drink? We have wine of the house with thrombosis That sounds fine I am starving from hunger Think about the starwing in Africa Thay would be surprised, if they heard what you said. Sorry. Translated by Divineme :-)