A Puppet Play of - Candide - By voltaire

Grandpa! Grandpa! One more story! Pleaseeee...... Fine, Fine... What would you precious grandchildren like to hear? Perhaps one about the Princess and the Pea or perhaps Cinderella? Nooo, we're sick of those stories! Alright then, alright then tell me what you kids want to hear! Grandpa Grandpa! We want to hear your story! Tell us your story! Yeah! Grandpa, I want to know about your story too! How did we end up with so many pigs and cows while our friends have fountains in their gardens? Ah, this beautiful garden holds more value than a fountain or two, my dear... Tonight calls for an epic bedtime story of how we have worked towards the perfect life... Be thankful for what you have been given, for your elders have worked hard to give you the best. Let's begin with my teacher, Pangloss' quote.. "Everything is for the best in this world" Once upon a time, when your grandfather was young and strong, madly in love with the Baron's daughter, also your grandmother, Miss Cunegonde. Pursuing true love and the perfect life was indeed a trecherous journey... Wooooooooo... After escaping for so long, he finally arrived at Holland. and could no longer go any further... Upon walking, he heard about the rich Christians in the area. Thinking that he would be able to get help from them, he approached one of the men. Sir, I have just escaped from the War of Bulgarians. I am now left with little provisions; could you please give me some food? Do you hold the Pope to be Antichrist? Truly, I never heard anything about it, but whether he is or not, I am in want of something to eat. Blasphemy! You do not deserve to eat or drink! Avoid my sight, nor ever come near me again while alive! I believe you are seeking some food and a shelter and I have with me just what you want. Allow me to feed you and offer you shelter. No food?! How can they do that to you grandpa! Yeah! The rich Christian could have easily helped you grandpa, how could he be so mean? Unlike the Anabaptist James, who was kind to you! People have differences, young one, especially different beliefs. Different beliefs would cause a division among people. There are people out there who strongly feel for their religion and reject all other opinions. What about James then? Unlike the wealthy Christian, Anabaptist James did not have a strong stand against any other beliefs, he would offer his help to the less fortunate as he treats everyone equally. Cacambo and your grandfather arrived at the sage's house in El Dorado where the 172 year old received them. They then begun on enquiries on the religious issues of the country. Do the people of El Dorado have any religion? Can you doubt it? Do you take us for wretches lost to all sense of gratitude? My apologies Sir, my friend here actually meant if there is any established religion in El dorado ? Ours, I apprehend, is the religion of the whole world; we worship God from morning till night. Do you worship but one God? Certainly, only one God. I must confess the people of your world ask very extraordinary questions. In what manner does your world pray to the God then? We do not pray to him at all, He has given us all we want, and we give him thanks all the time. All our people are priests- the king and the heads' of families sing hymns with 5 or 6 thousand musicians. What! Do you have no monks amongst you to dispute, to govern, to intrigue and to burn people who are not of the same opinion with themselves? Do you take us for fools?! Here we are all of one opinion. We do not know what you imply about the monks of your land. What a world of difference this place and Westphalia! It is certain that it's the finest in this world... Come, let my servants see you out. The king of El Dorado gave him so much gold, enough to last a lifetime. With the treasures from the king of El Dorado, your grandfather moved on to a small town, Surinam, which belonged to the Dutch. AH! Such a lovely town! However, it would be so much more beautiful if the love of my life, Miss Cunegonde were here. I miss her so, so very much. I believe that you will soon to be able to see her! Surinam is a town quite famous for producing good captains, who are able to sail to anywhere in the world. Oh quickly, let's find a captain and set sail immediately. Look at that guy at the booth! Greetings Captain! I would like to set sail to Venice immediately with my servants and luggage. How much would that all be? That would be ten thousand gold! Yes, that would be no problem. 'Even though he may look like a pauper, he must be rich since he agreed without hesitation! ' 'Why don't I grab this chance and earn more out of this naive and ignorant guy?!' I have changed my mind sir. It will cost you twenty thousand gold for this voyage! Very well. You may have it. 'Is this guy a millionaire or what?!! Perhaps I can even earn more from him! Looking at the weather, I believe this voyage will cost thirty thousand gold! That will be no problem sir. Martin, please pass him thirty thousand gold! Very well, I will see you in half an hour to board my ship. Please go get anything you need at this point of time. Let's make haste, Martin. Crew! All onboard!! HAHAHAHAHA!! GOOD BYE!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Ah, human greed.... If only we are at El Dorado... There were 2 children playing with diamonds when they arrived at El Dorado. Those children must be of royalty! Look! They are playing with diamonds! Let's ask them where this place is! Yes we should. Hey kids! AHHHHHHH! What's wrong?? No idea, look! They forgot about their jewels, let's return them! With that thought in mind, Cacambo and I picked up the jewels and walked in the direction the kids had left. And there, we saw an old man... Good evening sir! We are travelers and it is the first time we are here. May we know where this place is? Welcome to El Dorado! I am the school master of El Dorado, great to see visitors in this country. Nice to meet you too. Oh yes, your children left these at the road! Hahaha! Are you kidding me? I don't care about such dirt! What are you doing?!! Haven't you realised? Our buildings are made with the dirt you held so dearly in your hands! We don't care about diamonds. Allow me to treat you to a good meal, visitors! Burrpppppppp Thanks for the meal, Schoolmaster. Here is some money for you as an appreciation for this meal. Like I said earlier on, jewels and all the pieces of pebbles you see are nothing to this village. We have everything we need here. Wow, everything is for the best here! Yes sa! No one seems to be greedy for money nor try to cheat us foreigners! Such hospitality! And children, in the past, not everything was as peaceful as what we have here. There were wars and deaths. The amount of bloodshed was beyond imagination... Ching ching Chiang chiang! Jik Bomb! ARGH!!!! As they walked through the Bulgarian village, they witnessed the old and innocent who were not spared. Young virgins were violated. Body parts were splattered all over the grounds... And when I reached the second village, which is now owned by the Bulgarians, there, I see the same fate had befallen the villagers. My heart sank further as I passed by each house. And there, I found... Doctor Pangloss!! Oh my student! My dear dear student! Tragedy has befallen the castle! The Baron, My Lady...and even..Miss Cunegonde! I fear, that there are only souls left in the castle... NO! The place I grew up in... and...and.. Miss Cunegonde! How can it be !!!! But how! Grandma is making cookies right now! Yes, let me continue with the story. I was devasted upon hearing the news of your grandmother. However, it is by luck and by chance, that I managed to see and find her. At this little hut, I met your grandmother and an old lady who took care of her... Miss Cunegonde! I'm so glad to see you. I thought I will never see you again! Please, let's go inside. It must have been *** you all these time. Yes, tragedy had befallen the castle. I have become an object of trade for money and now wife to two men! I can't imagine whose situation could be worse than mine. I believe I, had a more sorrowful experience in life than you. I was the princess of Palestrina; the most beautiful woman of Palestrina. Who is engaged to the most charming man of *** Carrara. However, he died during our wedding celebration due to poison. Subsequently, I was sold from one person to another, as a woman and as a slave. In times of war, death is a form of relief for everyone. It is harder for those who are trying to survive. Starvation was one of the factors many ended up dying. The officers that the Muslim commander left me with killed two slaves and ate them up as food. It was going to my turn next. Luckily for me, a religious leader persuaded them to just cut of one of my buttocks to curb their hunger. And I am now, a one-buttock monster. One whom children see and run away from while screaming. You are not the only person in the world that has experienced the world, and you are not the last. There will always be people out there, in a state worse than you. In contrast, El Dorado was such a friendly and peaceful place. Welcome to El Dorado! Are you first time visitors in this country? Come, let us bring you to our king! In what manner we should pay our respects to the king? The custom is to embrace the king and kiss him on each cheek! Oh.... Welcome! My guest! I will show you the city. Wow, it's such a friendly place. Can I see the High Court of justice? What is that? We have none. Neither prison nor law too. Does El Dorado ever go to war, sir? Our whole nation has agreed that no one is allowed to quit it, and we have maintained our happiness and innocence. Thank you for your great hospitality, Your Majesty. It's time for us to leave now. You are about to do a rash and silly action. However, since you determined to leave us, please take some of the pebbles that you desire as well. Thank you for visiting! Wow! I want to live in El Dorado! ME TOO! ME THREE! Everyone wants to live in El Dorado. However, it is a place far far away from here. Which is why, grandma and I decided to create our own El Dorado, and that was how we ended up in this farm, our beautiful Garden! Now now kids, what have you learn from your grandfather's stories? I know! I know! Let's sneak into El Dorado to steal as many diamonds as possible! No, my dear. That's not what I meant. I'm very grateful for the king of El Dorado for helping me. What I meant was, my dear grandchildren, do not forget to keep cultivating our beautiful garden. Always seek self-improvement, or find work within your garden - for those who meddle with public affairs sometimes perish miserably, and that they deserve it.