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Before you die, one last question.
Did you know?
Did you know my mother had become pregnant ―
and that I was born?
I heard it the same year, ―
the year of the war.
Since then I've done my best to forget it.
I sing the role of Tsargo. It's a great role ―
because in the opera ―
Tsargo is transformed from a boy to a soldier ―
who is more robust than the young Tsargo ―
who was insecure.
He had fallen for Adriana, who rejected her.
Adriana and her sister humiliated him.
I cannot even see my own hands anymore.
I can hardly tell night from day.
In the end of the opera Tsargo is older.
He is a war veteran who has lost his sight.
He is totally different from the young boy ―
or the robust young soldier.
A fantastic role.
PIANO REHEARSAL 16 March 2006
It's very difficult to store the music on my hard disk.
Adriana's sister I could've made three ordinary roles ―
in the time it took me to learn this one.
You sit and learn the music with the piano.
In rehearsals, you need to move too ―
and you're back in square one.
You forget either the text or the music.
Was it in 3/4 or 3/8? It's all a blur in your mind.
The whole process is exciting ―
because you can't hear the music in advance.
You can only imagine what it will be like ―
and you're creating something new.
No matter how well you prepare ―
it takes a long time to find your character in rehearsals.
There are only four of us on stage in this opera ―
throughout the performance.
It's more important to be a good actor than to sing beautifully.
We must concentrate fully all the time ―
and express ourselves clearly ―
or it won't work and it will be boring.
An opera like this...
An opera composed by Kaija requires 24/7 concentration.
What I usually always do in the first rehearsal ―
I make notes.
I listen with the score ―
and read it through after the rehearsal.
That's when I know if I want to make some changes ―
or does the sound correspond to the score.
We've worked together so long that we're very open.
It's easy for us to comment on each other's work.
They have to rush into this and it's not clear.
At this point in her career ―
she is an experienced composer ―
who does not make elementary mistakes.
And yet, if someone could see my soul ―
he would still see...
He would see Adriana.
A young and sensitive Adriana ―
who is shivering and crying.
Shivering and crying from sorrow.
And who withdraws ―
and shivers from fear.
Who shivers from fear ―
and withdraws.
When you've just about mastered the movements ―
to Kaija's music, the orchestra enters.
ORCHESTRA REHEARSAL 20 March 2006
And it's totally different from the piano rehearsals.
Everything changes.
My father was not a hero.
My father is not dead.
In Kaija's music, it's important to express colors, nuances.
It's not enough just to sing beautifully.
You must use tones and your voice in different ways.
You get to scream and listen more than in traditional operas.
Some directors yell or are unpleasant ―
when they're in a bad mood and the singer gets no help.
Peter is like an open book.
He offers help and gets the singer to open up too.
This cooperation has been exceptional.
When you meet directors and conductors ―
who can be called geniuses...
I think it's important ―
to give myself to his hands ―
and trust that he will do everything tastefully.
I feel like an instrument, a vessel for his ideas.
Sometimes we test the director's ideas long ―
before we can move on.
Peter has a clear vision you accept right away ―
because it's so carefully thought out.
We've talked about it and we want to sing it right ―
to the very last note.
But we can't do it. We can't reach perfection.
Mistakes are inevitable.
If you can accept that ―
or at least don't get totally depressed about a mistake...
It would be pointless.
Then you can relax and you make fewer mistakes.
If he had not been blind, would you have killed him?
Perhaps, I don't know.
I could have shot him right away.
I did not want to shoot him in the back.
When I saw his damaged eyes ―
I lost my courage.
I'm not from a musical family ―
but music has always been an important part of my life ―
for as long as I can remember.
I remember a lot of music from my early childhood ―