The Scoop on 2011 - Kardashian wedding & ashton kutcher replaces charlie sheen on two and a half men

Ashton Kutcher replaced Charlie Sheen and then Demi Moore replaced him, Nancy Grace’s *** are longer than Kim’s marriage, Katie Holmes comes out as a slutty pumpkin, Chaz Bono comes out s a dancer and everybody’s WINNNIINNNGGG!!!!!!!!! What’s up guys? I’m Sal LoPizzo with SideReel and this is the SCOOP on 2011 aka OUR YEAR IN REVIEW!!!! This year was all about weddings ….oh yes it was. The British royals had a big wedding, the Prince married Kate, and not to be out done by any other family the American Royals, the Kardashians had one as well. Only that one didn’t turn out so well. Kim got a divorce before E was done editing the Wedding Special. Now some people may feel that calling the Kardashians American royalty is wrong, but just listen. The British royals are a group of dysfunctional media ***, who are famous for being famous, and who do whatever their Mummy says in order to make money. Sounds like the Kardashians to me. In other marriage news the gays can now make it legal in a few more states including NY. Presidential hopeful and complete moron Michelle Bachman has been very vocal all year about being anti gay marriage. This is probably because she is married to a gay man. Hey Michelle it only works if you’re both gay. Whoopi Goldberg weighed in saying on ABC’s the VIEW, “If you don’t believe in gay marriage, don’t marry a gay person.” I guess Ms. Bachman missed that episode. The year was a great one for TV. Lots of people left…. Oprah said good bye to daytime and chubby housewives everywhere were left with no other option than to start watching Dr.Phil. He replaced Oprah has the number one talk show. We haven’t seen an egotistical red neck replace the most powerful person on the planet since Bush took over for Clinton. Speaking of replacements Ashton Kutcher famously replaced Charlie Sheen on 2 and a half men and then Modern FAMILY REPLACED TWO AND A HALF MEN as America’s number one sitcom. Ashton’s not doing so well. I think it’s because Charlie Sheen is a guys guy. The kind of guy other guys love. The friend who will pick up a *** on a Tuesday night and let you have an hour with her when he’s done. Ashton is not that guy. I guess the powers at CBS figured hey if he could replace Bruce Willis he can replace Charlie Sheen. Well CBS look how well that turned out. Also on CBS’ HIMYM, Mrs Tom Cruise herself, Katie Homes came out as a slutty pumpkin. Tom Cruise didn’t like the idea at first. He didn’t think it was appropriate that the mother of his child should be playing a pumpkin. People also felt the urge to reveal themselves this year… Chaz Bono revealed he was trans. He went on Dancing with the Stars and we all got to see a different kind of guy on television. His mom Cher showed up to support him. Chaz became the first Transgender man on Dancing with the stars and Cher became the first Star on dancing with the stars. Good for them. Nancy Grace also revealed something on Dancing this season. Her ***. People thought it was a mishap but the truth is her twins, LUCY and John David , where in the front row and it was just time for a feeding. You know with Nancy those tykes always come first. And in politics…. Republican candidate Herman Cain was accused of being a little too touchy feely with some women in his life. In other words that guys been through more woman then the View. So in conclusion… 2011 was a great year and we learned many lessons. Here is my list of the top five lessons learned of 2011. Number 5- Charlie Sheen wasn’t on drugs , he was just WINNINNNGG!!! Number 4-Don’t cry over Oprah leaving because we still have WHOOPI! Number 3- Nancy Grace may be little but her nipples are the size of freezbes. Number 2-The Republicans are more desperate for a win than Tiger Woods. And the number one lesson learned in 2011…..Letting gays get married did not destroy the sanctity of marriage…The Kardashians did!!! I’m Sal LoPizzo and this has been the SCOOP on 2011…….Happy New Year!!!!!!!