Little Shop of Horrors by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman - Dialogue and Script

Prologue (Little Shop of Horrors) Little shop,  Little shoppa horrors.  Little shop,  Little shoppa terror.  Call a cop.  Little shoppa horrors.  No, oh, oh, no-oh!  Little shop,  Little shoppa horrors.  Bop-sh'bop,  Little shoppa terror.  Watch 'em drop  Little shoppa horrors.  No, oh, oh, no-oh!  Shing-a-ling,  What a creepy thing to be happening!  (Look out, look out, look out, look out!)  Shang-a-lang,  Feel the strum and drang in the air.  (Yeah, yeah, yeah.)  Sha-la-la,  Stop right where you are, don't you move a thing.  You better,  You better,  Tellin' you better  Tell your mama  Somethin's gonna get her.  She better,  Everybody better beware.  Oo, here it comes, baby.  Tell the world, baby.  Oh, oh, no!  Oo, hit the dirt, baby.  Hit the dirt, baby.  Oh, oh, no!  Oh, oh, no!  Alley-oop,  Hurry off to school child, I'm warnin' you.  (Look out, look out, look out, look out!)  Run away!  Child you gonna pay if you stay, yeah!  (Yeah, yeah, yeah.)  Look around,  Somethin's comin' down, down the steet for you!  You betcha,  You betcha,  You betcha butt, you betcha.  Best believe it,  Somethin's come to get ya.  You betcha,  You better watch your back in this town...  Woo!  (Comma comma comma.)  Little shop,  Little shoppa horrors.  Bop-sh'bop,  You'll never stop the terror.  Little shop,  Little shoppa horrors.  No, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no! Skid Row (Downtown) Alarm goes off at seven  and you start up-town.  You put in your eight hours  for the powers  that have always been.  (Sing it child)  'Til it's five-pm...  "Then you go..."  Downtown  Where the folks are broke. You go  Downtown  Where your life's a joke. You go  Downtown  Where you buy a token. You go...  Home to Skid Row.  "Yes you go..."  Downtown  Where the cabs don't stop.  Downtown  Where the food is slop.  Downtown  Where the hop-heads flop in the snow...  Down on Skid Row.  Uptown you cater to a million jerks.  Uptown you're messengers and mailroom clerks.  Eating all your lunches at the hot-dog carts.  The bosses take your money and they break your hearts.  And Uptown you cater to a million ***.  You disinfect terrazzo on their bathroom floors.  Your morning's tribulation, afternoon's a curse  And five o'clock is even worse!  "That's when you go..."  Downtown  Where the guys are drips.  Downtown  Where they rip your slips.  Downtown  Where relationships are no go.  Down on Skid Row.  Poor, all my life I've always been poor.  I keep askin' God what I'm for.  And he tells me, "Gee, I'm not sure."  "Sweep that floor, kid!"  Oh! I started life as an orphan,  A child of the street, here on Skid  Row! He took me in gave me shelter  A bed, crust of bread and a job.  Treats me like dirt and calls me a slob,  Which I am...  So I live  Downtown  That's your home address, you live  Downtown  When your life's a mess, you live  Downtown  Where depression's just status quo.  Down on Skid Row.  Someone show me a way to get outta here.  'Cause I constantly pray I'll get outta here.  Please won't somebody say I'll get outta here.  Someone gimmie my shot, or I'll rot here!  (Downtown)  Show me how and I will, I'll get outta here.  (There's no rules for us)  (Downtown)  I'll start climbin' up hill and get outta here.  ('Cause it's dangerous)  (Downtown)  Someone tell me I still could get outta here.  (Where there rainbow just doesn't show)  Someone tell lady luck that I'm stuck here!  (When you get...)  (Downtown)  Gee it sure would be swell to get outta here.  Bid the gutter farewell and get outta here.  I'd move heaven and hell to get outta Skid.  I'd do I don't know what to get outta Skid.  But a hell of a lot to get outta Skid.  People tell me there's not a way outta Skid.  But believe me I gotta get outta Skid  Row! Da-Doo Da-doo  I was walking in the Wholesale Flower District that day.  Shoop da-doo  And I passed by this place where this old chinese man...  Chang da-doo  He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings.  Snip da-doo  'Cuase he knows, you see that, well, strange plants are my hobby.  Da-da-da-da-da-da-doo  He didn't have anything unusual there that day.  Nope da-doo  So I was just about to, you know, walk on by.  Good for you  When suddenly, and without warning,  There was this...  (Total eclipse of the Sun)  It got very dark...  And there was this strange humming sound,  Like something from another world...  Da doo  And when the light came back this weird plant was just sitting there.  Oopsie-doo  Just, you know, stuck in, uh-among the zinias.  Audrey Two  I coulda sworn it hadn't been there before.  But the old chinese man sold it to me anyways.  For a dollar-ninety-five. Grow for Me I've given you sunshine.  I've given you dirt.  You've given me nothin'  But heartache and hurt!  I'm beggin' you sweetly.  I'm down on my knees.  Oh please,  Grow for me?  I've given you plant food  And water to sip.  I've given you pot-ash.  You given me zip!  Oh God, how I mist you.  Oh Pod, how you tease.  Now please,  Grow for me?  I've given you Southern Exposure  To get you to thrive.  I've pinched you back hard, like I'm supposed to  You're barely alive.  I've tried you at levels of moisture  From desert to mud!  I've given you grow lights and mineral supplements.  What do you want from me? Blood?  "Ow! Damn Roses! Damn Thorns!"  I've given you sunlight.  I've given you rain.  Looks like you're not happy  'less I open a vein!  I'll give you a few drops,  If that'll apease.  Now Please...  Oh, Oh, Oh, Please...  Grow for Me... Ya Never Know I can't believe it!  It couldn't be happening!  Pinch me girls!  It couldn't be happening!  All of a sudden success coming out of the blue!  I put a sign up  Right in the front window  An advertisement  Right in the front window  Stop in and see the amazing new plant "Audrey II"  And the really remarkable thing is that people they do  Seymour, that twerp of a clutz,  Finally did something right  Audrey II drives him nuts  What a blessing this wonderful plant should exist  And should rake in the bucks for me hand over fist!  "How'd I do?"  "Who'da believed it?"  One day he pushed a broom  Nothing in his news but gloom and doom  Then he lit a fuse and give him room  Stand aside watch that mothah blow  Explosion! ***! Kerboom!  Don't it go to show ya never know?  Seymour was in a funk  He was number zero  Who'da thunk he'd become a hero?  Just a punk, he was a forgotten so-and-so  Then one day-Crash! Kerplunk!  Don't it go to show ya never know?  All the world used to screw him  Biff-wham-pow! Now they interview him  And they clamor to put his remarks  On the air  All the world used to hate him  Now they're startin' t'appreciate him  All because of that strange little plant  Over there  Observe him! Here's a chap  Everything is landing in his lap  (I just cut my hand and in a snap  Something out of Edgar Allen Poe has happened) Zam! Kazap!  Don't it go to show ya never know?  One day you're slinging hash  Feeling so rejected  Lightning flash, you get resurrected  Make a splash-now you rate the big  Bravissimo  And with a thunderclash-  Crash kerplunk, bam kerboom,  Zang kazunk, zam kazoom  Zowee powee holy cow he  Ordered up a rainbow to go  Wow! Pow! Lookout below!  Don't it go to show ya never know? Somewhere That's Green I know Seymour's the greatest,  But I'm dating a semi-***.  So I got a black eye,  and my arm's in a cast.  Still that Semour's a cutie.  Well, if not, he's got inner beauty.  And I dream of a place,  Where we can be together, at last.  A matchbox of our own.  A fence of real chainlink.  A grill out on the patio.  Disposal in the sink.  A washer and a dryer,  And an ironing-machine.  In a tract house that we share,  Somewhere that's green.  He rakes and trims the grass.  He loves to mow and weed.  I cook like Betty Crocker,  And I look like Donna Reed.  There's plastic on the furniture  To keep it neat and clean.  In the Pine-Sol scented air,  Somewhere that's green.  Between our frozen dinner,  and our bed-time nine-fifteen.  We snuggle watching Lucy,  On a big, enormous, twelve-inch screen.  Oh, his December bride,  He's father, he knows best.  The kids play Howdy-Doody,  As the Sun sets in the West.  A picture out of Better Homes  And Gardens magzine.  Far from Skid Row,  I dream we'll go...  Somewhere that's Green. Closed for Renovation We're closed for renovation  For spiffing-up and grooming  'Cause customers are flocking  And business has been booming  We need refrigeration  In our new, improved display  So we're closed for renovation  Today  We're closed for decoration  'Cause fortune has been smiling  So now we're due for painting  New plumbing and re-tiling  We'll make a ship-shape showplace  Of a little shop and then  Tomorrow we'll be open  Again  We're closed for renovation  For swabbing-down and brooming  'Cause business has been thriving  Since Audrey Two's been blooming  The phones have not stopped ringing  With the customers who say  Another bunch of peonies,  Another dozen daisies please  Geraniums, anemones  Forget-me-nots and fleurs-de-lis  With gratis home deliveries  On paid-in-fulls and C.O.D.'s  We're closed for renovation  Today Dentist! When I was young and just a bad little kid,  My momma noticed funny things I did.  Like shootin' puppies with a BB-Gun.  I'd poison guppies, and when I was done,  I'd find a ***-cat and bash in it's head.  That's when my momma said...  (What did she say?)  She said my boy I think someday  You'll find a way  To make your natural tendencies pay...  You'll be a dentist.  You have a talent for causing things pain!  Son, be a dentist.  People will pay you to be inhumane!  You're temperment's wrong for the priesthood,  And teaching would suit you still less.  Son, be a dentist.  You'll be a success.  "Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque."  "Watch him suck up that gas. Oh My God!"  "He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good."  "Who wants their teeth done by the Marqui DeSade?"  "Oh, that hurts! Wait! I'm not numb!"  "Eh, Shut Up! Open Wide! Here I Come!"  I am your dentist.  And I enjoy the career that I picked.  I'm your dentist.  And I get off on the pain I inflict!  When I start extracting those mollars  Girls, you'll be screaming like holy rollers  And though it may cause my patients distress.  Somewhere...Somewhere in heaven above me...  I know...I know that my momma's proud of me.  "Oh, Momma..."  'Cause I'm a dentist...  And a success!  "Say ahh..."  "Say AHhhh..."  "Say AAARRRHHHH!!!"  "Now Spit!" Mushnik and Son How would you like to be my son?  How would you like to be my own adopted boy?  (I never liked him much before,  But count the cash that's in the drawer  I've got no choice - I'm much too poor -)  Say yes (what for?) Seymour I want to  Be your dad  I'll gladly see you  Climbing up my family tree  I used to think you left a stench  But now I see that you're a mench  So I'm proposing be my son  Muchnik and Son sounds great  Three words with the ring of fate  So say you'll incorporate with me  A florist's dream come true  Mushnik and his boychik, you-  What business we'll do for F.T.D.  Like Andy Hardy and the Judge  Like Zeus and Mercury  Like Dumas Fils and Pere  (In trouble sickness and in health)  We'll share the plant and share the wealth  I'll call my lawyer (call me son)  Mushnik and Son, that's that  (Officially I'm your brat)  Consider the matter closed and done  Now to the world let's stick  Our senior and junior shtick  (Through thin and through thick)  Through sloppy and slick  So come kiss me quick  Don't make me sick  Mushnik and Son! Feed Me (Git It) Feed me. Feed me. Feed me!  Feed me, Seymour.  Feed me all night long.  "That's right, boy!"  You can do it...  Feed me, Seymour.  Feed me all night long...  'Cause if you feed me, Seymour,  I can grow up, big and strong.  Would you like a Cadillac car?  Or a guest-shot on Jack Par?  How about a date with Heady LeMarr...  You gonna git it.  "If you want it, baby."  How'd ya like to be a big wheel?  Dinning out, for every meal.  I'm the plant can make it all real.  You're gonna git it.  Hey, I'm your Gennie.  I'm your friend.  I'm your willin' slave...  Take a chance, feed me, yeah.  You know the kinda eats,  The kinda ret-hot tastes,  The kinda sticky licky, sweets I crave...  Ow! Come on, Seymour,  Don't be a putz!  Trust me and your life will surely  Rival King Tut's.  Show a little initiative, boy,  Work up some guts,  And you'll git it.  I don't know.  I don't know.  I have so...so many strong...reservations.  Should I go...and perform...mutilations?  Think about a room at the ritz,  Wrapped in velvet, covered in glitz.  A little nookie gonna clean up those zits,  And you'll git it...uh huh...  Gee I'd like a Harley Machine.  Take it around like I was James Dean.  Makin' all the guys on the corner turn green!  So, go git it! woo woo woo!  If you wanna be profound...  If you really gotta justify...  Take a breath and look around...  A lot of folks deserve to die...  If you want a rationale,  It isn't very hard to see.  No, No, No...  Stop and think it over, pal.  The guy sure looks like plant food to me!  The guy sure looks like plant food to me!  The guy sure looks like plant food to me...!  He's so nasty treatin' her rough!  Smackin' her around, and always talkin' so tough!  You need blood and he's got more than enough!  I need blood and he's got more than enough!  (You/I) need blood and he's got more than enough...!  So, Go Git IT! Now (It's just the Gas) (Now, do it now  While he's gassing himself to a palpable stupor  The timing's ideal and the moment is super  To ready and fire and blow the sick *** away  Now, do it now  Just a flicker of pressure, right here on the trigger  And Audrey won't have to put up with that pig for another day  Now-for the girl, now-for the plant  Now-yes I will. . .but I can't)  Don't be fooled if I should giggle  Like a sappy, happy dope  It's just the gas, it's got me high  But don't let that fact deceive you  Any moment I could die  Though I giggle and I chortle,  Bear in mind I'm not immortal  Why this whole thing strikes me funny  I don't know-cause it really is a rotten way to go  (What we have here is an ethical dilemma  'Less I help him get the mask removed,  He doesn't have a prayer  True the gun was never fired,  But the way events transpired,  I can finish him with simple laissez faire)  Don't be fooled if I should chuckle  Like hyenas in a zoo  It's just the gas, it turns me on  But don't let my mirth deceive you  Any moment I'll be gone  All my vital signs are failing  Cause the oxide I'm inhaling  Makes it difficult as hell to catch my breath  Are you dumb or hard of hearing?  Or relieved my end is nearing?  Are you satisfied? I laughed myself to. . .  (Death) Call Back in the Morning Now, you were saying? Flowers for a prom corsage? Flowers for an entourage? Flowers to the funeral home? Leaving from St Andrew's Roman Catholic Chirch at Ninth and Vine? Forty dollars. Hold the line. First thing in the morning. Fine There'll be there in the morning! Can you hold? The Rose Bowl! Seymour, the Rose Bowl! You know that big, Inflated estimate we wrote? For the Rose Bowl? Well, it's the Rose Bowl! It seems they want to buy The flowers here For every single float! You can't keep the tournament waiting! Mushik & Son.. can you hold? Please hold, can you hold? It's just as the plant foretold Just a minute It's business like who'd have ever guessed. Mushnik & Son, that was me! Please wait, that was me.. The business is doing great.. On channel three! So why am I feeling so depressed? Seven thousand boutonnieres? Please, I've only got two ears! Hollyhocks are hardier, Which ones would your wife prefer? Were you waiting long?  I'm sorry sir! Seymour, that reporter- What? I thought we finished yesterday She wants another interview Said to bring the plant with you Audrey, it's that new account Sorry, that's the right amount Daisies only come in white Sir, I'm too worn out to fight Sorry, those are out of stock Seymour! Look! It's six o'clock! Call back in the morning, will you? Call back in the morning, won't you? Call back in the morning, can you? Call back in the morning, thank you! Call back in the morning! Suddenly Seymour Lift up your head.  Wash off your mascara.  Here, take my kleenex,  Wipe that lipstick away.  Show me your face,  Clean as the mornin'.  I know things were bad,  But now they're ok.  Suddenly, Seymour,  Is standing beside you.  You don't need no make-up,  Don't have to pretend.  Suddenly, Seymour,  Is here to provide you  Sweet understanding.  Seymour's your friend.  Nobody, ever,  Treated me kindly.  Daddy left early.  Mama was poor.  I need a man, and I'd  Follow him blindly.  He'd snap he fingers and  I'd say, "sure."  Suddenly, Seymour,  Is standing beside me.  He don't give me orders.  He don't condescend.  Suddenly, Seymour,  Is here to provide me  Sweet understanding.  Seymour's my friend.  Tell me this feeling  Lasts 'til forever.  Tell me the bad times  Are clean, washed away!  Please understand that  It's still strange and frightening.  For loosers like I've been  It's so hard to say...  Suddenly, Seymour,  He purified me.  Suddenly, Seymour,  Showed me I can!  Learn how to be more!  The girl that's inside (you/me).  With sweet understanding,  With sweet understanding,  With sweet understanding,  Seymour's (your/my) man. Suppertime He's got your number now.  He knows just what you've done.  You've got no place to hide.  You've got nowhere to run.  He knows your life of crime.  I think it's suppertime!  Come on, Come on...  Think about all those offers!  Come on, Come on...  Your future with Audrey!  Come on, Come on...  Ain't no time to turn squeemish!  C-C-C-Come on!  I swear on all my spores...  When he's gone the world will be yours.  Come on, Come on...  Come on, Come on...  Come on, Come on...  It's suppertime...  It's suppertime...  Come on, Come on...  Come on, Come on...  Come on, Come on...  It's suppertime...  Ah, suppertime...  Suppertime! The Meek Shall Inherit They say the meek shall inherit.  You know the book doesn't lie.  It's not a question of merit.  It's not demand and supply.  They say the meek gonna get it.  "And you're a meek little guy."  You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em  By and by...  My future's starting.  I've got to let it.  Stick with that plant  And gee, my bank account will thrive.  What am I saying?  No way! Forget it!  It's much to dangerous  To keep that plant alive.  I take these offers,  That means more killing.  Who knew success would come  With messy nasty strings.  I sign these contracts,  That means I'm willing  To keep on doing  Bloody, awful, evil things.  No! No!  There's only so far you can bend!  No! No!  This nightmare must come to an end!  No! No!  You've got no alternative, Seymour, old boy!  Though it means you'll be broke again, and unemployed!  It's the only solution, it can't be avoided!  The vegetable must be destroyed!  But then, there's Audrey.  Lovely, Audrey.  If life were taudry,  and impoverished as before,  She might not like me.  She might not want me.  Without my plant  She might not love me, anymore.  They say the meek shall inherit.  Where do I sign?  You know the book doesn't lie.  Right on the line.  It's not a question of merit.  That'll do fine.  It's not demand and supply.  This copy's mine.  You'll make a fortune, we swear it.  Couldn't go wrong.  If on this fact you rely!  Bye-bye, So-Long!  You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to them.  You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to them.  You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to them...  By-and-by.... Sominex/Suppertime II I couldn't sleep  I took a Sominex  But voices in my head kept saying  Go to Seymour, talk to Seymour  I drank some tea  But gee the feeling wasn't gone  Seymour, sweetheart  Tell me, darling  What's been going on?  Hey little lady, hello  You're lookin' cute as can be  You're lookin' mighty sweet  No, it ain't Seymour-it's me!  Your friendly Audrey Two  This plant is talking to you  Come on and give me a drink  Hey, little lady, be nice  Sure do, I'll drink it straight  Don't need no glass or no ice  Don't need no twist of lime  And now it's suppertime! Finale (Don't Feed the Plants) Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed Similar events in cities across America Events which bore a striking resemblence To the ones you have just seen began occuring Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed Unsuspecting jerks from Maine to California Made the acquantiance of a new breed of fly-trap And got sweet-talked into feeding it blood Thus the plants worked their terrible will Finding jerks who would feed them their fill And the plants proceeded to grow And grow And begin what they came here to do Which was essentially to  Eat Cleveland And Des Moines And Peoria And New York And where you live! They may offer you fortune and fame Love and money and instant acclaim But whatever they offer you Don't feed the plants They may offer you lots of cheap thrills Fancy condos in Beverly Hills But whatever they offer you Don't feed the plants Look out Here comes Audrey Two Look our Here I come for you! Hold your hat and hang onto your soul Something's coming to eat the world whole If we fight it, we still got a chance But whatever they offer you Though they're slopping the trough for you Please whatever they offer you Don't feed the plants We'll have tomorrow Don't feed the plants Mean Green Mother from Outer Space Better wait a minute.  Ya better hold the phone.  Ya better mind your manners.  Better change your tone.  Don't you threaten me son.  You got a lot of gall.  We gonna do things my way.  Or we won't do things at all.  Ya don't know what you're messin' with.  You got no idea.  Ya don't know what you're lookin' at  When you're lookin' here.  Ya don't know what you're up against,  No, no way, no how.  You don't know what you're messin' with,  But I'm gonna tell you now!  Get this straight!  I'm just a mean green mother from outer space  and I'm bad.  I'm just a mean green mother from outer space  and it looks like you been had.  I'm just a mean green mother from outer space,  So get off my back, 'n get out my face,  'Cause I'm mean and green  And I am bad.  Wanna save your skin boy?  You wanna save your hide?  You wanna see tomorrow? (Ha-Ha!)  You better step aside.  Better take a tip boy.  Want some good advice?  Ya better take it easy,  'Cause you're walkin' on thin ice.  Ya don't know what you're dealin' with.  No, you never did.  Ya don't know what you're lookin' at,  But that's tough ***, kid!  The Lion don't sleep tonight,  And if you pull his tail, he roars.  Ya say, "That ain't fair?"  Ya say, "That ain't nice?"  Ya know what I say? "Up yours!"  Watch me now!  I'm just a mean green mother from outer space  And I'm bad.  I'm just a mean green mother, a real disgrace,  And you've got me violent and mad.  I'm just a mean green mother from outer space,  Gonna trash your ***! Gonna rock this place!  I'm mean and green,  And I am bad.  Don't talk to me about old King-Kong.  You think he's the worst? Well, you're thinkin' wrong.  Don't talk to me about Frankenstein.  He got a temper? -HA!- He ain't got mine.  You know I don't come from no black lagoon.  I'm from past the stars and beyond the moon.  You can keep the thing,  Keep the it,  Keep the creature, they don't mean ***!  I got garden style, major moves.  I got the stuff, and I think that proves,  You better move it out! Nature calls!  You got the point? I'm gonna bust your balls!  Here it comes!  I'm just a mean green mother from outer space  And I'm bad.  I'm just a mean green mother from outer space  A real hard case. You can't beat this trouble, man.  I'm just a mean green mother from outer space  So just give it up. It's all over, ace.  I'm mean and green.  (Mean green mother from outer space.)  I'm mean and green.  (Mean green mother from outer space.)  I'm mean and green.  (Mean green mother from outer space.)  And I...am...bad!