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Personal log, stardate 47329.
4.
l've realised why l've had trouble
sleeping the last few nights.
Yesterday was the fourth anniversary
of the massacre at Wolf 359,
the fourth anniversary
of Jennifer's death.
l'm not sure what bothers me more:
the date itself
or the fact
that it almost passed unnoticed.
Dad, what are you doing up?
- l was about to ask you that.
- l had a weird dream.
Get some hot chocolate
and tell me about it.
lt's nothing.
Come on.
Tell me about this weird dream.
- lt's stupid.
- Maybe so,
but if you talk about dreams,
they kind of go away faster.
- OK, but don't laugh.
- l promise.
l was on the station somewhere.
l'm not sure where.
l was trying to get back here,
but l couldn't find my way.
Every time l saw a familiar corridor,
it led in some other direction.
- l told you it was stupid.
- You've got me interested.
l guess l got a little scared
and started looking for you.
But l couldn't find you.
Somehow l ended up in ops,
but you weren't in your office.
Andand then it was like
the floor started sloping
and l couldn't keep my balance.
- All l wanted to do was find you.
- Here l am.
Dad, l love you.
l love you, too.
l have a calculus test in the morning.
Then you'd better get some sleep.
Dad?
l miss her.
Me, too.
Beautiful, aren't they?
l've never seen the stars
shine so brightly.
The Bajorans call that constellation
the Runners.
l can never figure out
if they're running toward something
or away from something.
Does that matter?
Sometimes it just feels good to run.
l never thought about it that way.
l'm Benjamin Sisko,
commander of this station.
l'mFenna.
You must be very busy.
l didn't mean to bother you.
- You're not bothering me at all.
- Good.
Commander of the station?
That must be very exciting.
All those ships coming and going.
Every day must bring something new.
lt has its moments.
ln some ways, though,
l prefer this time the best,
when everything's quiet and
And you can feel
anticipation in the air,
like something wonderful
is going to happen.
That sounds silly, doesn't it?
Not at all.
That's one of the great
things about this station.
You never know
what's going to happen next.
Or who you're going to meet.
l like it here.
- l wish l could stay longer.
- Where are you going?
l'm not really sure.
l guess l'll just keep going,
like the Runners.
Before you run any farther,
why don't l show you
around the station?
lf you have the time.
Fenna?
Good morning, Chief.
ls this maintenance or repair?
Right now it's maintenance,
but it'll be repair when l'm through.
lf everything worked,
you'd be miserable.
You may be right, sir,
but l'd be willing to give it a try.
Good morning, Major.
Computer, one Chiraltan tea
with a double twist of lemon.
- Something wrong?
- No, nothing.
lf something's bothering you,
l want to hear it.
Every morning you start your day
with a "raktajino" .
- l love "raktajino" .
- You don't talk until you've had one.
l'm not awake until l've had a cup.
So how come
you're drinking Chiraltan tea?
l er
l just felt like having something different.
- That's all right with you, isn't it?
- You can drink whatever you like.
Thank you, Major.
l appreciate your support.
- Dax to Sisko.
- Go ahead, Lieutenant.
Professor Seyetik and l
are in the science lab.
On my way.
- Where's our guest?
- lnside the flux generator.
He could be killed in there.
- That's what l tried to tell him.
- He went in anyway.
- Have you ever met a terraformer?
- No.
So?
You can't tell them anything.
lt's a talent
bringing dead worlds to life,
but humility and common sense
- aren't part of the job description.
- Oh.
There you go, Lieutenant.
That should increase your output
by at least five percent.
You must be Commander Sisko.
- Gideon Seyetik.
- l'm a great admirer of your work.
A man of intelligence and taste.
We're going to get along famously.
My son and l visited Blue Horizon.
l must say l was impressed.
Of course.
l created the place
and even l'm impressed.
- How did you like Da Vinci Falls?
- We didn't get to see them.
Commander, you missed
Blue Horizon's crowning glory.
lmagine water cascading off cliffs
the height of Mount Everest,
thundering through rainbows
straight into an ocean
the colour of sapphire wine.
l'll have to take you there.
- l'd like to see it again myself.
- l may take you up on that.
Good.
But first, Epsilon 119.
l understand the initial surveys
look promising.
They look magnificent!
lmagine.
Reigniting a dead sun,
bringing new life
to an entire solar system.
lt makes terraforming planets
seem like child's play.
Let's hope it works.
Right now it's a promising theory.
Of course it'll work.
l never fail.
Well, l did once,
but it didn't agree with me.
l swore never to do it again
and l never break my word.
Be glad you're coming with me.
This will be my crowning achievement.
Giving birth to a star.
Even l will have a hard time
topping that one.
You're not letting that Andorian
tuber root go to waste?
- Why do you ask?
- lt's delicious.
May l?
Be my guest.
l need the extra calories
to keep up with Seyetik.
He works almost as much as he talks.
Benjamin?
- What?
- Are you looking for someone?
What were you saying?
Nothing important.
l have to meet with Chief O'Brien.
We are boosting the maximum speed
of Seyetik's ship to warp 9.
5.
lf his experiment fails
and that sun goes supernova,
- we'll need to get out of there fast.
- See you in ops.
Benjamin, l was hoping
l'd see you again.
- l was just thinking about you.
- Were you really?
l've been thinking about you, too.
Where did you disappear to last night?
l'm sorry.
l didn't mean to rush away
like that.
Does your invitation still stand?
To show me around the station.
- What would you like to see?
- Everything.
Everything?
That's going to take some time.
l don't mind if you don't.
- What do you think?
- lt's wonderful.
- l'm glad you like it.
- You must come here all the time.
A ship is usually blocking the view.
- We should have brought a picnic.
- Here?
What better place?
- l guess there is tomorrow.
- ls that an invitation?
Sounded like one to me.
- Then l accept.
- Good.
There's plenty to see.
We can't see it all in one evening.
You can show me the rest
after our picnic.
- Do you always do that?
- What?
Say exactly the right thing.
- No one's told me that before.
- There you go again.
So
tell me all about yourself.
- There's not much to tell.
- l want to hear it.
- l can't.
- Can't what?
- l can't tell you.
- Why not?
- l'm sorry, Benjamin.
l have to go.
- Fenna, wait.
Tiet looked at Altrina's lunch
and said, ''Klingon food?
''Those are worms!''
Altrina vomited on the table!
- lt was pretty disgusting.
- That's nice, Jake.
Nice? She threw up.
Oh, l'm sorry.
l must have been
thinking about something else.
- Dad, are you in love?
- What?
With a woman?
You're showing all three of the signs.
- Signs?
- The ones Nog told me about.
Loss of appetite, daydreaming,
smiling all the time.
You've been talking to Nog
about women again?
l want you to know that
if you're in love, it's all right with me.
- Thanks, Jake.
- What's she like?
She'sreally interesting.
lnteresting?
When do l get to meet her?
lt might be a little early to do that.
- Why? She likes you too, doesn't she?
- l think so.
Then what's the problem?
Well
it's just that
she keeps disappearing.
Above all, stay alert.
lf the subspace transmission is correct
and Villus Thed
is en route to the station,
notify me the moment he arrives.
Keep him under surveillance.
But remember,
he's a short-range telepath
so stay at least five metres
away from him at all times.
Commander, what can l do for you?
l need to ask a favour, Constable.
Of a personal nature.
l'm looking for someone.
A woman.
- Name?
- Fenna.
- First name or last?
- l don't know.
- Species?
- l don't know.
Humanoid.
- What ship did she arrive on?
- l don't know.
- Well, what can you tell me about her?
- Let's see.
l'd say she's about 1.
6 metres tall.
Brown skin, dark hair.
The last time l saw her,
she was wearing
She was wearing red.
That's something, anyway.
- Do you think you can help me?
- l don't know.
l need to find her.
l think she may be in trouble.
What kind of trouble?
Let me guess.
You don't know.
lt's not much to go on,
but l'll do what l can.
l appreciate your help, Odo.
- Benjamin, do you have a minute?
- ln my office.
What's on your mind, Dax?
- You have nothing to say to me?
- l don't follow.
- You have no intention of telling me?
- Telling you what?
Come on, Benjamin!
l saw you with her
last night on the Promenade.
What's her name?
Fenna.
But there is nothing
to talk about.
- You used to tell Curzon everything.
- Not everything.
You know what l mean.
- lt's because l'm a woman, isn't it?
- Don't be ridiculous.
lt's hard to talk man-to-man
with a woman.
- That has nothing to do with it.
- Then tell me what's going on.
l will.
As soon as there is
something to tell.
Personal log, supplemental.
Odo continues to search
for information about Fenna.
Professor Seyetik has invited me
and the senior staff
to dinner on the Prometheus.
A great terraformer needs
the green thumb of a gardener,
the eye of a painter
and the soul of a poet.
And it doesn't hurt
to be a raging egomaniac.
- Which makes you eminently qualified.
- Of course!
Terraforming is amazing,
but how do you intend to reignite
a dead sun?
l'll use a remote piloted shuttlepod
to deliver protomatter
into the dead star.
This will cause a cascade effect that will
transform the star's carbon and oxygen
into elemental hydrogen.
Then we stand back
and watch the fireworks.
lf it doesn't work,
it might be the last thing we see.
Nothing of worth
was ever created by a pessimist.
Van Gogh, Beckett, Y'raka.
l wouldn't call them optimists.
Precisely and look at their work:
dark and dreary and dismal.
Art should be an affirmation of life.
Take my own work in the field.
l once saw an exhibit of your paintings
at the gallery on Ligobis X.
They certainly were memorable.
l've never seen such huge canvases.
Nobody ever accused me
of understatement.
- Nobody who read your autobiography.
- Nine volumes and counting.
l always said l wanted to write
as many books as l've had marriages.
Which reminds me.
Wait till you taste the food
my wife has created.
None of that replicated nonsense
you're used too.
Every dish was prepared entirely
by Nidell's own sweet hands.
- l can't wait to meet her.
- And so you shall.
She should be ready.
l'll go and get her.
Would he notice if we weren't here
when he got back?
Don't even think about it.
l've had dinner with two dozen
Bajoran ministers.
You owe me this.
Seyetik is one of the Federation's
greatest minds.
- l know.
He told me.
- l find him remarkably entertaining.
Ladies and gentlemen, l'd like you
to meet my wife and my inspiration:
Nidell.
Now we have something to talk about.
l can't eat another bite.
That was delicious.
Could l have the recipe?
lt's Gideon's creation.
lt took me years to perfect it.
The secret is to sear
the kalo roots slightly
before layering them over the slices
of roasted waroon
She acts like she doesn't recognise me.
- lt is the same woman, isn't it?
- She looks the same.
half a dozen humat pods and ice salt.
Then you reduce it,
cook it exactly 500 degrees Kelvin
and then just pepper to taste.
- Any questions?
- Maybe you should write that down.
Of course.
No trouble at all.
l think we should continue
this conversation in the other room.
We shall be more comfortable there.
- Can l help you with something?
- l hope so.
lt would have been easier
if you'd told me you were married.
l don't understand.
Yesterday on the Promenade
you had plenty of opportunity.
Commander, l've never met you
before tonight.
l suppose you never told me
that your name was Fenna?
Would you like to talk about this?
You have mistaken me
for someone else.
Seems that way, doesn't it?
lt was the same woman.
The face, the voice.
lt was Fenna.
Talk to her when her husband
isn't around.
- She's a married woman.
- That wouldn't stop Curzon.
This was the first time
since Jennifer's death
that l felt drawn to someone.
Commander,
may l have a word with you?
l've checked this week's
docking and transporter logs.
There is no record of anyone
matching the description you gave me.
Thanks, Odo,
but you can call off your search.
l've found the woman.
You did? Where was she,
if you don't mind my asking?
- Aboard the Prometheus.
- The Prometheus? Are you sure?
- Yes, we just left there.
- That's impossible.
l checked the de-embarkation logs.
Apart from Professor Seyetik,
no one has left the Prometheus
during the entire time
it's been at the station.
Commander,
l thought you could use this.
- No, thanks.
l was just leaving.
- Stood you up, didn't she?
When you work in a bar,
you recognise that look.
l've even seen it in the mirror.
- l'd better be getting home.
- lf you like,
we could go down to the bar
and talk.
- You know, about women.
- l don't think so.
Don't forget.
The holosuites are always open.
Benjamin!
l missed you.
ls there something wrong?
l just had dinner with someone
who looks exactly like you.
Like me? How strange.
Your name isn't really Nidell
and you're not
the wife of Gideon Seyetik?
Of course not.
l'm Fenna, you know that.
Right now l'm not sure what l know.
- You don't have a twin sister, do you?
- Not that l know of.
Fenna
l need to know where you came from
and what you're doing here.
- Does that matter?
- Of course it matters.
l need to know who you are.
You do know me, Benjamin.
When l came here,
l thought l was looking for a place,
somewhere l belonged,
but l was wrong.
l wasn't looking for a place.
l was looking for a person.
l was looking for you.
Benjamin!
l've got the warp drive
on the Prometheus purring like a kitten.
lt'll do 9.
6 but l wouldn't take it faster.
l thought the theoretical maximum
for those engines was warp 9.
5.
Must l remind you?
Some of us have only one lifetime.
l'll be right there.
Good luck, Lieutenant.
Commander.
- Come to see us off?
- l'm going with you.
How often do you see a star reborn?
ls this a good idea?
l need answers, Dax.
The key to Fenna's disappearance
may be on that ship.
Have you finished loading
the protomatter device?
All set.
The containment fields
are holding fine,
remote guidance systems
are fully operational.
When l was through with New Halana
it was a paradise.
- How are we doing?
- lnitiating scans in a few hours.
Let me know when we get there.
You must be eager to get started.
What did you call this?
- Your crowning achievement.
- Don't remind me.
Commander, my entire life has been
a series of escalating triumphs.
No matter what l achieve,
there's another triumph waiting for me.
And now?
Are you familiar
with the Klingon poet G'Trok?
A little.
''The Fall of Kang''
is required reading at the Academy.
''So honour the valiant
who die 'neath your sword
''But pity the warrior
who slays all his foes''.
Yes.
Well
A bit obvious perhaps,
but true nonetheless.
- So, what were we talking about?
- You.
Of course.
My favourite subject.
Where was l?
You had just finished terraforming
New Halana.
You can imagine how grateful
they were.
Endless parades and receptions.
Got to be a bit of a bore, actually.
But then l met Nidell,
the daughter of a local dignitary.
She was utterly infatuated with me
from the very start.
l can't say l blame her.
l was surrounded by crowds of people
unveiling a statue
they'd commissioned in my honour.
l could tell from the start
she was something special.
She'd never been off-world
before she met me.
l promised to show her the galaxy.
l would have given it to her
if l could have.
- She must love you very much.
- She does, Commander.
Don't ask me why, but she does.
- Fenna.
- Benjamin, l'm so glad to see you.
Dax, report to my quarters immediately.
- On my way.
- Benjamin, what's wrong?
The last time l saw you
you vanished.
l'm with you now and l'm never
going to leave you again.
l wish l could believe that.
You have to, Benjamin.
Dax, this is Fenna.
- What is she doing?
- She's not going to hurt you.
l'm not reading any cellular structure.
No DNA patterns.
- Just pure energy.
- What is she talking about?
l think it's time we find out.
Help her.
She won't wake up.
She's in shock.
Her respiration is shallow.
Her heartbeat is irregular and falling.
Her blood pressure's dropping.
Benjamin, she's dying.
- You've got to do something!
- l don't know that l can.
Fenna.
l should have known.
But you can't be here.
Nidell promised
you'd never come back.
- What are you talking about?
- Look at her!
- She looks like me.
- She is you! The real you.
- What's going on here?
- That thing isn't real.
She's an illusion created by my wife's
unconscious mind.
That's not true!
You know that he's lying.
Nidell is a psychoprojective telepath.
Fenna's just another one
of her projections.
l've never seen readings like these.
She's giving off enormous energy.
l don't see how she could survive
more than an hour or two like this.
- You've got to do something!
- There's nothing l can do.
Get Fenna to my quarters.
Notify
- Get her out of here, Dax.
- l want to stay with you.
l need to talk to Professor Seyetik.
Professor, if what you're saying
is true,
Nidell's psychoprojective abilities
are killing her and l need to know why.
Nidell doesn't even know
this is happening.
ln times of deep emotional distress,
Halanans sometimes
lose control of these abilities.
My wife is very emotionally distraught.
This happened once before,
three years ago on Terosa Prime.
lt nearly killed her then.
She swore
it would never happen again.
Obviously
it has.
You may have noticed that l tend
to evoke
strong emotions from people,
particularly my wives.
They all start out loving me,
but a few years of togetherness
soon cure them of that.
The others had the good sense
to leave me.
Why can't Nidell?
What keeps her with you?
Halanans mate for life.
She can never leave me,
no matter how much she might want to.
l've never seen Seyetik
or that woman before.
The things he's saying about me
are lies.
- l'm as real as you are.
- How l want to believe that.
But where did you come from?
How did you get to this station?
Can you tell me a single memory
of your life before we met?
Benjamin, l'm so frightened.
Nidell's dying, Fenna.
She only has a few hours.
What happens to me if she dies?
You no longer exist without her.
But you can save her,
give her back the life
she gave to you.
- l don't know how.
- You can go back to her.
l've seen you do it three times.
lf she lives, l die.
Everything that you and l have
dies with me.
What we have is a dream.
l wouldn't trade it for anything,
but it's still just a dream.
Nidell's dream.
She won't remember any of it,
will she?
There's no way to be sure.
l love you, Benjamin.
And l always will.
Commander, you'd better come
to the bridge right away.
What is it?
Seyetik has launched the shuttlepod
toward Epsilon 119.
He's on board.
On my way.
- He's opening a channel.
- On, screen.
l hope this transmitter is working.
l'd hate to do this without an audience.
Professor, what do you think
you're doing?
Making history.
You might want to record this
for posterity.
He's about 60 seconds from impact.
Gideon, we've found a way
to save Nidell.
l had a feeling you would, Commander.
This is the only way l can set her free.
l owe her that.
This'll be my crowning achievement.
Remember ''The Fall of Kang''?
This is one warrior
who refuses to be pitied.
- What's he talking about?
- Klingon poetry.
Turn the shuttlepod around.
Too late.
l've entered the star's gravity well.
- Engage the tractor beam.
- He disabled it.
When all this is over,
you'll find a case of mine.
- There's something l want you to find.
- What is it?
My obituary.
l wrote it myself.
l couldn't leave such
an important document to a stranger.
See that it's sent to
the Daystrom lnstitute for publication.
l didn't get a chance to update it
before l left.
Let the record state, ''He sacrificed
himself on the altar of science.
''
- Ten seconds.
- l'll be sure they get it.
- l'm sure l can count on you.
- Five seconds.
You'll never see
anything like this again, Commander.
Let there be light!
Station log, supplemental.
Epsilon 119 continues to burn brightly,
a fitting memorial to a brilliant man.
l'm happy to report Nidell
has made a complete recovery.
Unfortunately, she has no memory
of Fenna's experiences.
Commander.
Nidell.
- How did you know l was here?
- Lieutenant Dax told me.
When does the Prometheus leave?
Soon.
l just wanted to say goodbye
and thank you.
lt'll be good to get home.
How long do you plan on staying
on New Halana?
For the rest of my life.
l've been gone too long as it is.
l wish that l could remember Fenna.
What she did
how she felt, but l can't.
l'm sorry.
That's all right.
l can remember for both of us.
- Tell me one thing.
- lf l can.
- What was she like?
- Fenna?
She was just like you.
