How to Cure Boredom

Hey beardlovers. I'm so bored. So bored! So boring around here! I'm so booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored. Bored. Nothing ever happens around here. Life is just an endless pile of myaah and then sleep and myaaah and then bathroom and then nyaaaaa and then eat and then nyaaaaaaa and then nyaaaaaa again. It's not like I don't try. I went outside. Nyaaa. I read a book. Nyaaa. I tried reading outside. Nyaaa. I jumped rope with my shirt. Nyaaa. I jumped rope with my shirt outside. Nyaaa. Tried hanging out with my friend Craig with a Wig. - Nyaaa. - That was my line. Nyaaa. Boring boring boring boring. Maybe I'll play a song. This is a song about life. It's called Myaaaah. And this is pretty much it. This goes on for about five minutes. I bet if I were on an alien planet or whatever, life would be super fun or something. Way better than this planet that I'm on... I forgot what it's called. Too bored to remember. I'm gonna get in my stupid rocketship and see if I can find a better planet around here. Okay, here we go. Agh, space travel. So boring. Oh, here's a planet. Pffft. Scientists have actually said this might not even be a planet. And science is boring. I'm outta here. Wow. This one's got ones of colors. Really? Oh, awesome! A ring! You know what else has a ring? The word boring. Oh, this planet is huge. Which makes me feel little. Which reminds me of Little League. And baseball is boring. Hmm. This planet's orange. And nothing rhymes with orange. How can the hip hop industry thrive in a community like this? I'm outta here. Boring. Pffft. This one... Hey, wait a second. Earth? This one's pretty cool. It's got, like, white swirlies and brown splotches and blue background. It's a little bit abstract expressionist for my taste but I'm gonna take a closer look anyway. I appreciate the effort. Boy, they got lots of stuff down here. It's got trees and flan and steampunk tattoos. Snow leopard, Snow Leopard, and probably a shoe. How many people? At least 42. It's even got a game that you can play with just you. That settles it. I'm going here. Just need to find an apartment. Ooh. This looks like a nice neighborhood. Yeah! Wow. This is good fun. Wow. I think I could really learn to like this place, which is oddly similar to my own apartment. Oh, this is good fun. This'll be fun for minutes. So now that I've had a chance to look around this place called Earth, I've discovered that they have their own TV show about them. Which is called Planet Earth. Which is weird. I don't know why they'd say 'Earth.' I guess it sounds snappier. On that show you can see a snow leopard, a bluebird of paradise, and a vampire squid from hell. Hell. Hmm. Haven't traveled to that place yet. Sounds lovely. I'll take a trip there with the wife and kids. I don't have a wife and kids. Perhaps I'll get a wife and kids. And that show will be on what they call the "television" all Earth Day weekend, April 21st and 22nd on BBC America. Hmm. I had that channel back on Earth, where I'm from. The stupid boring place. Wait. I'm realizing something. No I'm not. Wait. No I'm not. Wait. Nope.