The Guild S2E9 - English Transcript

What a d-bag! Leading me on when he's got a girlfriend? Grandma was right Guys think a woman is just a life-support system for a ***. So, after I got loomed over by Stupid Tall Hot Girl, I ran home, logged on with Tink and Clara cried a little and then when I was really vulnerable, Clara convinced me that girls' night was a good idea. And it is! Why should the boy Guildies have all the fun? Screw those men people. I should let my therapist know I'm reaching out to reinforce my connection with other women. Call blocking? Hey! Wow, nice dress! I thought we were going all casual and man-hating. - I have a date at 7:30. - What? But that's, like, a half-hour from now! Yeah, I was hoping for some more traffic. Could you give me a heads up so I can jet on time? Thanks. But I made us a low-carb dinner! I got out my scrapbooking scissors! Ooh, scrapbooking! I'm not getting that. Um, excuse me? This is a private residence. This wow. This is my address. And approximately my face. So, where's the brew? I have chamomile tea Beer incoming! I'm sorry. - Clara, did you make this? - Yeah, sorry I gave you ugly face. I sketched it on a Gummi high. Dudes! You made it! Oh, thanks very much. Clara, do you know these guys? Not a clue. But the Guild ladies are having fun tonight! The boys got such a head start on us. They're probably loaded and having a good old time already! and in the third stage of encounter with the Spider Lord Grakanesh, it's necessary to station magic users at both cave entrances. - Zaboo, you're over here. - Dude, why am I a heart? Your name begins with a Z, and you are, therefore, the last to be assigned a symbol. - It was the only one remaining. - The only one? There's like a million symbols you could have drawn. You've got to give me something manly, like a trident, or a beard. I mean, come on, man. You're supposed to be supporting me! I'm tolerating your presence. What more do you want? Well, for one, I'd like to move my bed. It's hard to wake up to birds doin' it. It kind of gets in my dreams. Well, the squab were here first. Next slide, please. Now, this is a whole 'nother hobby entirely. All right. Bladezz signed up for man night, not bickering old-fart night. Pardon me for being goal-oriented, but I didn't design this evening for leisure. This is a prime opportunity to refine our fight strategies offline. - So, get your head out of my craw! - Better idea. I'm gonna hook up my console, and we're gonna kill things. And, of course, I'm willing to take a friendly wager or two on body counts. Now we're talking! Testosterone'd. Man, these jacks back here are all jacked. Yeah, and it's all black and white. What the? Black and white? No way! Oh, whoa! How do you think they got the color out of it? It has antennae capability, which is the most important thing. That will come in handy during a nuclear fallout or a race war. All right. So, no console. What do we do now? Oh, wait. Lookie here! I've got some cards. You want to macho it up? Let's play some poker. Sure! What site you want to log on? No, like, real cards. Like actual paper. Hello? What's the advantage of that? The interface is better online. It's cleaner, and we don't have to look at each other. Ditto'd. All right. I'll be right back. Clara! You jostled my trackpad finger! Hi, nice to meet you. Clara, I don't know these people! That's the point of the party, duh! So you can get your mind off the stunt guy spitting you out like a cheap piece of gristle! And you get to meet your new neighbors, like the ones from the restaurant next door: - Enrique, Jared, this is Codex! - Hi. Hola. Clara! How many flyers did you hand out?! Hundreds, and a spam-bot newsletter. Listen, I haven't been out without a kid on my *** in the past 3 years. So, let's take this and make it crazy! Right, Tink? Oh, this is gonna be awesome! Sure. For the next 101/2 minutes. Partay. This is a great party, man. I'm sorry I insulted your squab earlier. This place is way more fun to crash at than at Codex's. A lot less tears. Hey, maybe I can start clearing out the guest room by auctioning all that stuff off online. I could have my own room by 2012. Oh, man! Money? From articles I get for free? I like you. Uh Dude, what happened to the network? I lost my connection, too. What the? Where's Bladezz? Uh-oh. Bladezz! These are cheese toast spell books, that's cream cheese bread the basil represents a life bar and the cookies, I cut out in the shape of weapons. That's a mace. Cool. Give me one of these frosted broadswords. You know what? Clara's right. The party is working. I haven't thought about Wade all night! Well, except just now. Damn it! Well, at least I'm not depressed. I'm too busy worrying about strangers going through my medicine cabinet. Relax. All the good stuff's gone, anyway. Oh, my God! The stunt guy is here! And he's with The Stupid Tall Hot Girl!