The Daily Rlp, Episode 17 - Inciting disorder?

Yesterday, I read a headline in The Daily Express which read: 'NATIONAL SERVICE FOR EVERY TEENAGER'. Express delivery. Oh, yes. That's just what we need after the England riots - teenagers being tought how to fight better! What a brilliant plan. That can't possibly go wrong! What do you intend to do next, Mr. Cameron? Try and eliminate gang culture from our streets? Well, why not teach so-called 'irresponsible' 16 and 17-year-olds how to use bazookas and kill other people from long distances with military position. That can't possibly backfire on us... ...oh wait. It can... ...if you know what I mean. Apparently, Scotland's First Minister Alex Salmond hasn't agreed to the plans but then I suppose that's because anything Conservative says SNP has to disagree with. You see, up here in Scotland, we have our own three-party system, consisting of Labour, SNP and the Conservatives. The Scots just consider the Lib Dems to be little rodents. Sorry Mr. Clegg. It's not me that thinks that. Having said that, I'm not so keen on the idea of national service myself. Will I have to join the army when I reach the age of sixteen? I'm not sure I could deal with such a gruelling training course. I'm far too wimpy for that. I'm also against violence in almost all its forms. The only thing I would willingly kill is a fly. I just can't help but feel that Mr. Cameron is totally out of touch with reality. He seems to agree to the concept of giving two young men four years in jail for what the court calls 'inciting disorder'. The thing is, this was on social networking website Facebook, so can this really be called 'inciting disorder'? I know two girls who are engaged to each other on Facebook. Does that mean they should they done under the The Marriage (Scotland) Act? No. It doesn't and that's because it is a joke. Everything they say and do is a complete and utter joke. Admittedly, these girls haven't said they were going to smash up a city but then you can't believe everything you see on the Internet. If you could, then just four weeks from now, we would all be ripped and dating girls from our area. Goodnight.