Why Your Feelings Don't Have to Match Your Situation

Hey everyone Jessie here out running a few errands and it is cold today so I'm all bundled up but wanted to share with you just an idea that I've been thinking a lot about lately and that is that your feelings do not have to match the situation that you're in they don't have to match your circumstances I know that's kind of a weird someone obvious thing to say but if you think about it we most of us have like this weird thing where we where we think we're off our rocker if our feelings don't match our situation like for example if we are super calm and just talking with the same tone of voice even though something absolutely crazy just happened beside us and everybody's freaking out and we're just maybe cracking a joke or something like that that's very it almost feels inappropriate right it feels completely off base so most of us whether we think about it or not try to basically get our feelings to match what it would be socially acceptable to feel and our reactions to match what it'd be socially acceptable what would be socially acceptable in terms of reaction to whatever it is that we're going through or whatever situation it is that we're in now here's why that's a big deal especially if you want to be a leader or you want to start a business or something like that the only situation where you're gonna be able to have any type of stability or maintain a clear head if you're living in such a way where your feelings always match your situation the only way and that's in that scenario the only way you're gonna be able to maintain any sort of stability and make clear-headed decisions is if you never have anything crazy happen to you and that's just not realistic at all if you're a leader if you're trying to get crazy if you're trying to you know go after any big venture things are gonna go wrong people are gonna break their promises to you people are aren't gonna come through people aren't gonna do what you expect the situations are gonna come that you did not anticipate and if your feelings adjust to those every single time that happens that's not good that's gonna be a bad situation you're probably not going to be that great a little here or a business owner so just I think having the realization that you're feeling there's no reason why your feelings or your reactions have to match everyone else's feelings or reactions or why your feelings and reactions have to make sense you can choose and granted sometimes a lot easier to do this and other times I get that but you can choose to be calm even when you're in a situation where everything's falling apart you can choose to sit back and say okay this is what we're going through now what do we do about it when everybody else is totally losing their minds of freaking out I always think back to 9/11 Rudy Giuliani I remember him being asked by somebody I don't member what interviewer posed this question but he was asked by somebody hey how did you maintain how are you able to maintain such a calm demeanor and make such clear head of decisions during such a crazy unprecedented crisis and he told a story essentially when he was a little kid a teenager or something like that and his dad had told him hey when you grow up they're gonna be situations where everybody around you is losing their cool and when that happens I want you to be the one who's calm that's stuck with him and hearing that story frankly stuck with me because I realized wait I want to be the kind of leader who can make those tough calls who can think with a clear head and even when you know there's crazy stuff going on even when there's a crisis so think about ways that you and maybe you can just be aware on an ongoing basis of times that you react in a way that you really maybe even don't even don't fully feel if you don't even you aren't even really stressed out but you feel like you should be stressed out or if you you feel like it's totally justified to be stressed out just ask yourself do I have to be stressed out right now do I do I really have to be stressed out and is being stressed out really the reaction that is serving me right now is that helping me to make better decisions is that helping me to get better results is that helping me to enjoy my life more and chances are with pretty much any negative emotions you know it's not that you can always control them but they rarely ever serve you they rarely ever help you make better decisions so just be aware of it and remember that if you want to be a leader if you want to accomplish some big things your your reactions and your feelings cannot depend entirely on the situations here and even if those reactions are completely justified by other people or your reasoning or whatever make your reactions match the results that you want and the way that you want to feel not necessarily the reactions that you feel like you could get away with so anyway comment below if you have any thoughts on this I'll talk to you soon.