Goodbye Gender Dysphoria, Hello Body Dissatisfaction!

So, I suck at making update videos. I know, I am sorry. I suck. I am sorry. At first it was that I did not have time. Now? Now it is just that I am lazy. And I do not know what to talk about. How about a 30-second update? I am 18 months on testosterone and 6 months post chest surgery. I graduated with my Associates degree in June. Now I am working on applying to universities, but I do not have any money. That is all I have got, so how about we talk about my chest? It has healed a lot since the last video. Overall, I love it. I feel free. I have really been able to get into loving my body, loving myself, and expressing myself more. Which is fantastic. But I'm still self-conscious. Many pre-op and pre-T people think that hormones and surgery will solve all of your problems. Sorry to say, but it will not. It really, really will not. Right now I am hung up on how one of my nipples [speaker points to right ***] is bigger than the other [speaker points to left ***]. Sometimes you can tell, sometimes you cannot. I can always tell because it is my body and I look at it every day. I already feel like my nipples are abnormally large compared to a cis-male, so having them two different sizes does not really help. But what does help, at least for me, is looking at pictures of cis-men. It reminds me that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and just because I transitioned does not mean that I am not just as much of a man as anyone else. Now, this probably sounds like a really stupid complaint to people who are pre-op. But once you do not have to deal with chest dysphoria anymore other issues of body dissatisfaction start to kick in. At least that is how it has been for me. I cannot speak for everybody. Body dissatisfaction is an issue all people face, not just trans people. And no, trans body dissatisfaction is not a "bigger deal" so stop saying that. No matter who you are, loving your body is hard when we live in a society that says you have to look this way or look that way or act this way or act that way. And as a Black *** man that is 5 feet and 5 inches tall and 120 pounds, I am not nowhere near the social ideal of beauty. But I am okay with that. Someone, somewhere, will think I am beautiful. And if they do not, I find my damn self beautiful. Big *** and all, b---h. But that big *** does kind of both me. Actually, it really bothers me. But it's just going to have to be okay because I aint got no money for no revision honey. Anyway, leave comments. I love reading comments. I read every comment that everyone posts. I read all of your messages. Even the stupid hateful ones about how I need a father in my life and blah blah blah blah. Just to clarify on that, though, my father is a very big part of my life. He is one of the most supportive people in my life. So come correct next time. Our two-party system sucks, I know. It is terrible. But it is our system. So just work with it. I do not give a damn if you vote for Obama or Romney. Just vote. But if you vote for Romney, do not tell me that. Just do not tell me.