Nurse Jackie S6E4 - English Transcript

Jackie: Previously on "Nurse Jackie" You're still here? You should have been out of here hours ago. I was trying to figure out who I needed to talk to about getting this young lady on TV to do some medical segments. My online dating profile attracted a top-rated *** scout. Is that a specimen kit? I'm almost 40. I'm alone. This is my shot. I'm on a winning streak. I won $5,000 last night. Scratchers for everyone. Hi, yes, this is Dr. Carrie Roman. I'm calling in an Oxycontin prescription for my patient to pick up. Antoinette: Jackie, this is a vulnerable time. Just promise me you won't make any big decisions today. - What the hell is that? - I got a dog. Honey, you sure you want a dog? I mean, don't you have enough to take care of? I'm gonna need you to come with me. Grace was picked up for shoplifting. She what? It's not a big deal. I just wanted to cut my hair today. Mia id I'd look great with bangs. Do you know who Mia is? Mia is Dad's fiancée. (Theme music playing) (Man vocalizing) Kevin's getting married. Oh, good for him. I don't have to feel guilty anymore, Eddie. Guilty about what? Oh, Jesus. (Moaning) Do you want me to take the dog out? Yes! Yes! Do you want me to take the dog out? Yes! That was some yes. Who were you dreaming about? Oh, Brad Pitt. Sorry. You're dating other men in your head? I think I should move in here and stake my claim. (Scoffs) You know, I'm here all the time anyway. It's kind of logical. I'm meeting Kevin's fiancée tonight. One logical thing at a time, okay? Got it. You need to be convinced. I'll begin by taking the dog out for a ***. Come on, Slippers. Let's go, baby. I'm so glad you're here. I would feel like such a lunatic otherwise. Oh, you're not a lunatic. We're just two nice ladies drinking really expensive coffee and spying on Kevin's fiancée. No, nothing crazy here. Listen, if you want to stay clean, you've got to know what you're dealing with before you're dealing with it. Oh, my God, is that her? Jesus Christ, she's pretty. What? Jackie. Hi, excuse me. Excuse me, hi. I'm sorry. I'm sure you're a very nice person, but we are supposed to be punishing Grace for shoplifting, not buying her affection. You're *** crazy, Jackie. Did you just call me Jackie? You can't call me Jackie. You're Jackie? Hi, I'm Mia, yes, hello. Hello, Mia. Hello. Give me that. Um, you're welcome. I asked Grace to pick out something that you might like. You know, just like a little icebreaker for tonight. - Oh. Oh. - Yeah. Ice broken. (Laughs) Good job. Do you want to take Grace to school? - I mean, you're here. - Oh, no, no. That's okay. You two go ahead. Okay, well, it was very nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too. - All right. - Yes, I will see you tonight. Okay, well, bye. What'd you get? Thank you. Someone tell her this is not Pinkberry. Her 10th visit isn't free. Mrs. Harrison, you're back. - I know you all hate me. - Oh, we don't hate you. Kelly's been coughing a lot, Dr. Cooper. - She woke up four times - Hey, you mind if I change in your office tonight for my TV report? Big star can't change in the bathroom? Your jealousy is boring. Mmm, you know what's boring? - Is this what you people do all day? - (Baby coughing) - My baby's sick. - What's going on with Kelly? She's been coughing all night. All right, come with me. Why don't you have a seat right over here? Grace called me four times. She said you went ninja stalker on Kevin's fiancée. - She's embarrassed. I totally approve. - (Phone vibrating) - Zoey, can you get a crib for Kelly? - Of course. (Baby crying) (Sighs) Yeah, I know. I know, I know. I think we should do dinner another time. What can I say, Kev? I blew it. We're not ready for this. What you mean is I'm not ready for this. You can say it. Another time. Yeah, okay. Man: *** you, Gloria! *** you! (Laughing) And you thought you had me, you ***. Gloria won 300 off of Dr. Solomon. - Can you believe it? - Congratulations. - We're backed up. - Oh. Oh. Enough said. (Laughing) I heard you got a dog. Ribs a little tender? They don't exactly pad the steering wheel. (Laughs) Where'd your flattop go, brother? Holy ***, my brother. - How you been, man? - You know each other? Peanut and I grew up together. Peanut? The rest of us chowed on Corn Nuts. Ike was fancy. He only ate peanuts. Yeah, well, peanuts are natural. Who the *** knows what they put in a Corn Nut? So the chart says that you've been in an accident. Leg fell asleep. Foot slipped off the brake. But then again, you and me, - we never knew when to stop, right? - He didn't? Life of the *** party. - Do tell. - T's keep the focus on the patient, please. So you've been tired lately? I move boxes 13 hours a day. I'm always tired. The ladies loved him. Whatever girl he was dating, he'd shave her initials into his fade. My middle name is Margo, by the way. Nurse, set up an IV for fluids and get an X-ray of Mr. Morgan's chest and one of his right leg, please. - Mr. Morgan? - Nurse? Someone was super unprofessional in his professionalism. Not every patient is your friend, Zoey. I'm sorry, I was under the impression that he was your friend. Just do your job, okay? What the heck did I do? Don't assume that this is about you. (Baby crying) Her lungs are pretty congested. Can I, please? Why don't you stand at the head of the bed? You can see everything we're doing, okay? - (Baby screaming) - Shh. Shh. - (Beeps) - Temperature 100. 4. Let's swab for strep, run a RSV test and set her up for nebulized air. That's it? That is the proper course of treatment, yes. This is her baby, Coop. She's just concerned. My mom told me about you going overseas. Must have seen some crazy ***. It was nothing that I couldn't handle. Sorry you had to go over there. Day I joined the army was the greatest day of my life. You want to know what the greatest day of my life was? The day you and I ditched school and took the train to Coney Island. (Laughs) Everybody thought we were Kid 'n Play. And we just let them think that. We weren't gonna let nobody think we weren't famous. I was more of a Hammer girl myself. (Crying) I know it's a little uncomfortable, but it really needs to stay on, okay? No matter how much she cries. Come here, baby. Here we go. There we go. Great. - You got it? - Yeah, I got it. Mia bailed on dinner. You make the new lady nervous. Take that as a compliment. Hey, isn't this neighborhood great? - Mmm. - Look at that. "Now leasing. " How'd you like to be the couple that could afford to live in one of those places? Mmm. Let's be that couple. I haven't met your kids and you want to move in together? Let's just take this one thing at a time, okay? You're not into it. Memo received. Listen, Saturday, how about we pick up your boys and we'll I don't know. What do they like to do? They haven't spoken to me in a year. Things were okay, you know? Divorce was final, two houses. - Pretty smooth. - What happened? It's not important. It's becoming very important. They found out that I cheated on their mother with a coworker and things aren't okay right now, but they will be. You know, everyone just needs some time, that's all. A year? We all got our stuff, Jack. Wow. Cheating, the stuff with your kids you're just full of secrets, aren't you? Where you going? Back to work. Pharmacist: You might feel a little nausea. Roman: I'm a doctor. I know how Plan B works. Oh, right. You're that TV doctor. That piece on shingles epic. (Mutters) - Jesus. - Hi. Hi. - You okay? - Yeah. Do you fine. Just not gonna sleep with random guys I hate anymore. Good for you. Well, thanks for the girl talk. Still in pain, Ms. Wood? Hey. Frank: You still mad at me? It's more shock than anything. Yeah, well, I'm still sitting on this park bench trying to figure out how to finish our conversation. Is it okay if I come over tonight? Sure, okay. It's not playing the cards, it's playing the people. Messing with their perception of you that's the real thrill. Teach me your secrets. I want to be cagey, too. Yeah, how come you never play with us? Wouldn't want to take all your hard-earned money. - We'll play with pennies. - Gloria: When and where? How about my place tonight? - What? - You never have people over. All right, here's something that none of you know about me. I'm a card shark. I can't tell if you're kidding. That's how good I am. I shall bring my penny jar. Eddie, poker party at my place tonight. But you live in abject isolation. Just bring something. I have nothing to report on today. I tell you, working in television wouldn't be so hard if homeless people were more telegenic. I really don't feel sorry for you. You get to be on TV while I have been dealing with screaming infants. Coop! She's cyanotic. She was crying so hard. - I thought if I held her - Shh, shh, shh. Can you step back, please, Mrs. Harrison? It's not working. We need to intubate. What are you doing to my baby? Dr. Roman, can you please tell Mrs. Harrison what's going on here? - Can you just step back, please? - It's okay. All right. Come here. Kelly's in really good hands. They're intubating her to help her breathe. Dr. Cooper is inserting a small tube into her trachea. She's not in any pain. Come on, baby. Stay with us, Kelly. Stay with us, honey. (Whimpering) (Machine beeping) Hey, you hear that? That's the sound of your baby breathing. (Exhales) Okay. I'm sorry. I was really excited to meet someone you grew up with. Oh, that is not good. Bone cancer. I'm gonna bring in an oncologist to talk to him. Keep it professional? It's better that way. Shouldn't he hear it from you, Peanut? I'm so glad I came here. Yeah, Kelly's gonna be fine. She has an infection. What we call RSV. Kids get it in playgrounds and at schools and ER waiting rooms. I'm sorry, I don't understand. Well, you've been here three times in the last week. The ER is full of germs. It is no place for a healthy infant. This was my fault? Oh, listen, we've all been there. You want to be a good mom. - This is for Kelly. - (Laughs) This is for you. I put my number in there. The next time you're worried about Kelly's health, why don't you text me? I'll let you know if it's an emergency. "The Love Jungle"? Yeah, some escapist crap. Do yourself a favor. Get out of your head. (Music playing) Wow. - Look at this place. - It's all Mia. She says Astoria is the new Williamsburg. Ah. These kids like beef jerky in their drinks. I made a big mistake. I am completely embarrassed. But I am worried. I am worried that our daughter is out of control and there are no repercussions. I want to show you something. You missed a spot. Shut up. I'm done. You're not even half done. *** job. Felt like suitable punishment. Community service. I like it. Am I doing good, Mommy? You're doing great, sweetie. Okay, let me have it. I'm not angry. Well, you have every right to be. I'm sure I completely freaked her out. I'd rather just clean-slate this one. My life's really good right now and I don't want to be the reason things go south for you. You're thinking about me an awful lot. Old habits. Yeah. (Sighs) How'd it go? I may take up breathing again next year. (Laughs) This day had relapse written all over it. You did great. Thank you for being here today with me and doing whatever this is. Want to grab a bite, celebrate? I would love to, but a bunch of people are coming to my house tonight to play poker. - Poker? - Yeah. No. Nurses. Pennies. - Harmless. - No, it's not that. It's just you were my plans for the evening. No big deal. Oh, well, you want to Want to come? Yes, I do. - Very, very much. - Oh, okay. (Laughs) Should I introduce you as my sponsor? Jesus, God, no. Then they'll all just look at me funny. Why don't you lie and say I'm your friend? I yeah, I can do that. Good news. I found my story. That mom today with her baby I'll never know what it's like to love someone that much. Hey, never say never. You saved a baby's life today. You are my story, dummy. (Laughs) My brother. ***. You have a sizable mass in your right shin. A mass? Bone cancer. We've got to get you to an oncologist. But I would be lying if I didn't tell you it's very serious. I'm not old. We're not old, man. I'm gonna send you to the best specialist. Who's gonna tell my wife? We'll do that together. Damn. Who's gonna tell my mom? No, you're on your own with that one, man. I mean, that woman still scares the *** out of me. (Laughs) Oh, wow, it's cute. How long have you been here? Oh, I don't know. Forever. (Laughs) - Yeah, it kind of looks like forever. - (Laughs) It's got a lot of curb appeal. - (Motorcycle approaching) - Oh, there's Eddie. The pharmacist? There he is. Hey. How's it going? - Can I get a hand here? - Yeah, I'll help you. - Hey. - Hi. - Hey. - Who's that? - It's a friend. - Oh, good-looking friend. - Good-looking bike. - Thanks. Kevin's getting remarried. Oh, good for him. I brought beers. I hope that's okay. Everybody is so careful around me. Jesus. - He's cute. - (Laughs) It was a harrowing scene at All Saints Hospital today where one infant's cold almost turned out to be her last. But thanks to the heroics of one medical professional All: Medical professional! Young Kelly will live to breathe another day. As a medical professional All: Medical professional! It's pretty much okay for kids to eat dirt. Turn it off before I am totally shitfaced. - A little help in here, please. - Yeah. - (Chatter) - (Music playing) So, Antoinette, how long have you known Jackie? Uh, she's kind of a new friend. Well, I've known Jackie for a really long time. Where did you meet? Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Wow. She's gonna be so terrible at this game. I come prepared. Zoey, weakness means strength. Strength means weakness. They're crazy, slow down. They slow down, go crazy. Lucy, I'm home. - Hey, everyone. - Hey. Who needs another beer? Uh, yeah. Thanks. You invited all these people over so we didn't have to talk? Okay, I had problems in my marriage, Jack. I never said I didn't. Yeah, you don't talk to your kids. I didn't know that. - I never lied to you. - No, you lied to your wife. Okay, that's not fair. Look, I am trying to manage my sobriety here. Do you have any idea how difficult that is? I can't be in a another relationship that is based on secrets and lies. We are still learning things about each other, Jack. That is a very different thing than lying. Okay, here it is. Kevin cheated on me. I'm not Kevin, okay? I'm not even the guy I was five years ago. Now we are doing better than you think. We are. This is a discovery period, okay? Look, I have people over. I don't want to spend the whole night in the kitchen arguing with you. Just when we're getting somewhere? (Sighs) All right. We're not done talking about this. You mind taking the dog out? Come on, Slippers. (Slippers whines) Hey, Frank. You've got to call your kids. Yeah, I know. Come on, sweetheart, let's go. Gloria: Zoey, are you in or out? I'm bluffing. I'm sorry. Gloria: You want to see my hand, you better raise or fold. Antoinette: You don't scare me. Call. - Go. - Eddie: You are sexy. Gloria: You are so full of ***. I call. - Zoey: Oh, my God. - Antoinette: You are both full of ***. (Sighs) - Antoinette: Go. - Zoey: I got it. - Bam! Damn it. - Gloria: All right, people. Everybody show your hand.