Don't Double Dip

- PREVIOUSLY ON DON'T BE TARDY... - THEY CAN ARREST YOU FOR DISORDERLY CONDUCT-- - THEY CAN? THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT MY KIDS, AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BE QUIET? - YOU'RE UP AND OUT OF THERE. YOU'RE IN HANDCUFFS. - HOW ARE YOU? - PRETTY GOOD. - YOU ALWAYS HUG YOUR TUTOR? - THIS TUTOR. - [laughs] YOU DON'T HAVE A MATH BOOK? - IT'S IN ONE OF THE CARS. - MAYBE THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T GET A GOOD GRADE IN MATH. - MOM, YOU'RE KILLING ME. - HER BIRTHDAY'S COMING. WE SHOULD BUY HER A CAR. - HER GRADES ARE BAD. NO, NO, N-O. - WHAT ARE WE GONNA GET HER FOR HER 16TH BIRTHDAY? - A KICK IN THE F[bleep] PANTS. - [scoffs] ♪ D-DON'T BE TARDY ♪ ♪ OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH ♪ ♪ D-DON'T BE TARDY ♪ ♪ OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH ♪ - COME HERE, K.J. WHAT YOU DOING? DO YOU WANT TO PAINT MY NAILS? WHICH COLOR DO YOU LIKE? - THIS. - YOU LIKE THAT ONE? OKAY, CAN YOU GO GENTLY? BEING GROUNDED SUCKS. YOU'RE LUCKY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE. WHEN YOU'RE A TEENAGER, TRUST ME, DON'T DO ANYTHING TO GET YOUR PHONE, YOUR LAPTOP, OR YOUR FREEDOM TAKEN AWAY. I MEAN, THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO BUT SIT HERE AND HAVE A TWO-YEAR-OLD PAINT MY NAILS. - [crying] - K.J., YOU GOT NAIL POLISH ON YOUR FACE. WELL, K.J.-- IT'S OKAY, K.J. - [crying] - I HATE KIDS. - [crying] - THEY'RE SO ANNOYING. - [crying] - HOW WAS YOUR DAY TODAY, GIRLS? - IT WAS GOOD. HOW WAS YOURS? - IT WAS PRETTY GOOD. I WAS PRETTY BUSY TODAY. OH, WHERE'S YOUR REPORT CARDS? - OH, IT'S IN MY BACKPACK. - I DIDN'T GET MINE YET. - YOU'RE GONNA BE VERY DISAP-- - YOU'RE LYING. - YOU'RE GONNA BE VERY DISAPPOINTED IN ME. - WHY? - BECAUSE I HAVE AN 89 IN READING. - SO COUGH IT UP. LET ME SEE YOUR REPORT CARD. - OKAY. - AND I THINK I'LL GET BRIELLE'S TOO. - I'LL GET IT. - BRIELLE REALLY HASN'T BEEN A GOOD STUDENT LATELY. WE'VE TRIED GROUNDING HER. WE'VE TAKEN HER PHONE. WE'VE TAKEN HER COMPUTER. WE GOT HER A TUTOR. AND IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME THAT BRIELLE GETS HER GRADES UP. - SO IN MATH, I HAVE A 94. GENERAL MUSIC, "A." SCIENCE, A 97. LANGUAGE ARTS, I HAVE A 97. IN HEALTH, I HAVE 100. - 100 IN HEALTH. THAT'S AMAZING. YOU HAVE A GREAT REPORT CARD. I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU. - MOM... - GOOD JOB, ARIANA. - VERY GOOD, SWEETHEART. - THANK YOU. - NEXT. LET ME SEE IT. YOU HAVE A FRIGGIN' 90 IN SPANISH? - A 90? - YEAH. - JEEZ. - YOU DID GREAT IN LIT. AND YOU DID GREAT IN PHOTO, WHICH--GREAT. DOES THAT INCLUDE TAKING TWITTER PICTURES? SCIENCE IS A-- SHE FAILED SCIENCE... AND-- AND GEOMETRY. WELL, THIS DEFINITELY DISAPPOINTS ME. WE DEFINITELY KNOW THAT BRIELLE IS NOT GIVING IT HER ALL. - THE "F" DOESN'T MATTER TO ME. IT'S WHETHER OR NOT YOU PUT IN THE EFFORT. - I DON'T KNOW. I FEEL LIKE NO MATTER, LIKE, HOW HARD I TRY, I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET, LIKE-- - IF YOU THINK THAT WAY, YOU WON'T. - YOU HAVE TO SET GOALS IN PUTTING FORTH EFFORT EVERY DAY, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. - HERE'S THE DEAL. YOU'RE DEFINITELY NOT GETTING A CAR UNTIL THESE GRADES COME UP; THAT'S IT. I DEFINITELY THINK BRIELLE NEEDS SOME RESPONSIBILITY. LIKE, YOU ARE 15 NOW. IT'S TIME TO GROW UP. SO WITH THAT BEING SAID, PICK YOUR GRADE UP AND SHOW ME AN IMPROVEMENT. - OKAY. - I LOVE YOU. TRY HARDER. - GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK. - I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU. GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK. LOVE YOU. - BYE. - YOU KNOW, I'M VERY FRUSTRATED, BUT I'VE HARPED ON HER AND HARPED ON HER AND HARPED ON HER, AND I CAN'T KEEP HARPING ON HER. - WELL, WE HAVE TRIED TO TAKE THE PHONE. WE'VE TRIED TO TAKE THE COMPUTER, AND THEY ARE NOT REALLY WORKING. - WE GOT TO KEEP TAKING. - I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S THE ANSWER--TO KEEP TAKING. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO TAKE. - SHE'S GOT CLOTHES. SHE'S GOT-- I'M TALKING-- YOU DON'T WANT TO WORK HARD? - I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF SOMEBODY TAKING SOMEBODY'S F[bleep] CLOTHES IN ALL MY LIFE. THAT IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING-- - YOU DON'T WANT TO WORK HARD? YOU'RE GONNA WEAR LEVI'S. - SERIOUSLY? TO TAKE HER JEANS? LET'S HAVE A DIFFERENT APPROACH. HOW ABOUT THIS? HOW ABOUT MAYBE GIVE HER SOMETHING TO BE-- TO LOOK FORWARD TO, TO BE PASSIONATE ABOUT, TO JUST UNWIND AND DE-STRESS? SHE HAS NOTHING GOING ON. SHE CAN'T LEAVE THE HOUSE. SHE CAN'T USE HER PHONE. SHE CAN'T GO ON THE COMPUTER. ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS GO TO SCHOOL AND COME HOME AND LISTEN TO CRYING BABIES AND HER MOM RUNNING AROUND WITH HER HEAD CUT OFF. - SO YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE TO KEEP REWARDING HER? THE ONLY WAY TO MOTIVATE SOMEBODY IS TO REMOVE THINGS THAT THEY LIKE AND THEY ENJOY, WHEN THEY CAN'T SELF-MOTIVATE. - OKAY, KROY. FIRST OF ALL, GROUNDING HER IS NOT WORKING. LET'S TRY A LITTLE BIT OF A DIFFERENT APPROACH. KEEP HER COMPUTER, KEEP HER PHONE, AND LET HER KIND OF HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. YOU KNOW, LET'S LET HER GO TO HOMECOMING. LET HER GO OUT AND SEE HER FRIENDS AND SEE WHAT THAT DOES, 'CAUSE THIS CLEARLY ISN'T WORKING. THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF CHANGE IN THE LAST THREE YEARS SINCE I MET KROY, I MEAN, FROM GETTING MARRIED TO HAVING TWO BOYS TO MOVING TWICE. SHE'S BEEN TO TWO DIFFERENT HIGH SCHOOLS. I MEAN, IT'S A LOT. - I WILL GIVE HER THIS CHANCE. BUT IF SHE DOES NOT STEP HER GAME UP WITH THIS NEW INCENTIVE, SHE WILL NOT ONLY LOSE THAT NEW INCENTIVE; I WILL DELETE HER TWITTER ACCOUNT, AND THAT'S MAJOR TO HER. THAT IS WHAT SHE'S LOSING NEXT. - KROY IS DEFINITELY THE DISCIPLINARIAN, BUT I THINK UNGROUNDING HER COULD WORK. MAYBE IT'LL PULL HER OUT OF HER FUNK. WE HAVE FIGURED IT OUT. THANK YOU, JESUS. - YOU THINK YOU FIGURED IT OUT, AND I'M WILLING TO AGREE. - I KNOW I DID. SHE NEEDS SOMETHING DIFFERENT. - BUENO, BUENO. - MISS KIM? - YES? - THIS IS LANEY, THE SPANISH TUTOR. - HI. KIM. NICE TO MEET YOU. COME ON IN. PLEASE HELP ME. I NEED HELP. - THANK YOU. - MY ENTIRE HOUSE AND STAFF, ASIDE FROM LANA, IS SPANISH. AND SO THEY ALL TALK IN SPANISH, AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE SAYING. SINCE I'M PUSHING BRIELLE TO GET SUCH GOOD GRADES, I FIGURED I'D SET A GOOD EXAMPLE AND OPEN THE BOOKS MYSELF. PLUS, I'LL KNOW WHEN THE STAFF IS TALKING S[bleep] ABOUT ME. AND MY SON SPEAKS FLUENT SPANISH. LIKE, THIS MORNING, HE WANTED EGGS. AND WHAT IS IT? RO... - HUEVOS. - HE SAYS, "DOS HUEVOS." COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT. - THAT'S WONDERFUL. - SO LET'S CHOOSE A NAME FOR YOUR SPANISH NAME. - OH, BUENA IDEA. - REALLY? - ESPERANZA. - COME ON, LANA. YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT. I MEAN, COULDN'T YOU CALL ME, LIKE, SHAKIRA OR ZSA ZSA GABOR, HONEY? - ESPERANZA IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WHO WANTS TO BE IN LOVE. - SOUNDS LIKE A *** MOVIE. - NO, NO, NO, NO. - THAT'S NOT SEXY. - OKAY, BUENO. - WHAT ABOUT KROY? - ZORRO WITH THE MASK. - ZORRO? - [mimicking horse galloping] - ARE YOU SERIOUS? - HE ZORRO, YOU ESPERANZA? - OKAY, WE'LL ROLE-PLAY TONIGHT. - [laughs] - SO ANYWAY, SHOW ME WHAT WORDS YOU ALREADY KNOW THE PRONUNCIATION OF IN SPANISH. - AMIGO. - MM-HMM. - LATINO, AMERICANO. WHAT IS THIS WORD? - CERVEZA. - I HEAR THAT A LOT. WHAT IS THAT? - ALL THE GUYS KNOW THAT. "BEER." - I SWEAR BERTA SAYS CERVEZA TO K.J. ALL THE TIME. ESO. MUY BIEN. - I'M GONNA WHUP BERTA'S... BUTT. - WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING? - HI, BRIELLE. THIS IS MY 15-YEAR-OLD, BRIELLE. - HI. - THIS ONE HAS A 90 IN SPANISH IN SCHOOL, THE ONLY GRADE THAT SHE'S DOING WELL IN. SHE'S NOT DOING VERY GOOD IN MATH. BRIELLE, ARE YOU GONNA HELP ME? - WHAT ARE WE DOING? - WE'RE LEARNING SPANISH TODAY. SO YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT ME ANYMORE. - [laughs] - LET'S JUST GO THROUGH IT. PRETEND, FOR INSTANCE, THAT I'M JUST COMING IN FOR THE DAY, AND I COME IN, AND I GO, "HOLA, BUENOS DIAS." - WAIT. CAN I DO THIS NEXT? GO, MOM. YOU FIRST. - HOLA, BUENOS DIAS. - COMO ESTA? AND THEN YOU ANSWER. - I'D BE LIKE, "BIEN, Y TU?" - OKAY. HOW DO YOU SAY, "MY NAME"? - COMO SE LLAMA? ME LLAMO ES BRIELLE. "BRIELLA," IF WE'RE SPEAKING SPANISH TERMS. - OH, SO YOU CAN ADD AN "A." KIM-A, KIMA. IS MY NAME KIMA? - NO, MOM. - ESPERANZA, THAT'S MY NAME. [whistles] - I LIKE THAT. - IF SHE WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL TAKING THAT AS A COURSE, SHE'D HAVE A COUPLE "F"s RIGHT NOW. SHE WAS BORN IN AMERICA FOR ONE REASON. - CHALUPA. WE GET THOSE AT TACO BELL. - MM-HMM. - BURRITO. - MM-HMM. - RANCHO DE-- OH, I KNOW TEQUILA, SWEETHEART. THAT IS ONE WORD I KNOW. PATRON. - YEAH, ME TOO. GIVE ME FIVE. - YOU BEST NOT, BUT OKAY. LOVE TEQUILA. - YES. - COMING UP NEXT... - WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ADMIT THAT YOU DON'T TRUST US? - I DO TRUST YOU. - I'M LEAVING. I'M OFFENDED. - WHAT DID YOU WEAR TO YOUR HOMECOMING? - I DIDN'T GO TO HOMECOMING OR PROM. - OR PROM? - I THINK 'CAUSE I WAS GETTING KICKED OUT OF SCHOOLS ALL THE TIME. - WELL, WE DON'T GO TO HOMECOMING EITHER. - SO WAIT, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TONIGHT? - WE TAKE PICTURES, AND WE GO TO PARTIES. WE DON'T GO TO HOMECOMING ANYMORE. - PARTIES? - PARTIES? - WHO WANTS TO GO TO A PARTY AT YOUR SCHOOL? WHY NOT GO TO A PARTY AT A FRIEND'S HOUSE? - WHAT, DO YOU THINK YOU'RE IN A SORORITY? - BRIELLE'S NOT GROUNDED ANYMORE, SO I'M LETTING HER GO TO HOMECOMING OR DINNER AND A PARTY-- WHATEVER THEY DO THESE DAYS. IS THIS GONNA HELP BRING UP HER GRADES? I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW, BUT HAVING HER MOPE AROUND THE HOUSE CERTAINLY ISN'T GONNA HELP EITHER. SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO AT DINNER? ARE YOU GONNA SIT NEXT TO EACH OTHER? - YEAH. - SO IT'S JUST YOU TWO. - YEAH. - THAT'S WEIRD. LIKE, YOU'RE GOING ON A F-- A FRIGGIN' DATE. YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ON A DATE BEFORE. - SO IT IS A DATE. - SO THIS IS A DATE. - IT'S NOT; HE DID NOT ASK ME TO GO OUT TO DINNER WITH HIM AS A DATE. HE'S NOT PICKING ME UP AND DRIVING ME THERE, IS HE? - BECAUSE HE CAN'T BECAUSE YOU'RE 15. I CAN'T IMAGINE A BOY EVEN HOLDING HER HAND... 'CAUSE I WILL WHUP SOMEBODY'S ***. SO, BRIELLE, ARE YOU DATING NICK OR NOT? DON'T LIE. - HAVE YOU EVER KISSED HIM BEFORE? - HE'S JUST A-- - HAVE YOU KISSED HIM BEFORE? - NO, NICK AND I BOTH KNOW THAT WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. DOESN'T BRIELLE CORINA DECATILONE SOUND LIKE A PRINCESS'S NAME? - NO, IT DOESN'T. AND YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED IN BRIELLE'S ROOM. - OKAY. - BUT YOU TELL ME THAT, LIKE, YOU GUYS SAY, "I LOVE YOU." AND YOU'RE LIKE, "I KIND OF LIKE HIM," AND... - WHOA. NEVER SAID THAT. - YOU SAID YOU KIND OF LIKE HIM, THAT HE'S SWEET-- - I MEAN, I LIKE HIM AS A PERSON, BUT I-- I MEAN, LIKE, I'D MARRY HIM ONE DAY, LIKE... BUT I WOULD NEVER DATE HIM. LIKE, I'D RATHER JUST-- - BUT HOW CAN YOU GET MARRIED IF YOU DON'T DATE HIM? - I DON'T WANT TO DATE HIM. THAT'D BE WEIRD. I DON'T WANT TO RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP. - BUT SHE'LL MARRY HIM. - SHE'LL MARRY HIM. - I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO THIS RIGHT NOW. SO CAN WE JUST CHANGE THE QUESTION? [laughs nervously] - "I'M GONNA MARRY NICK. WHAT'S THAT GONNA DO TO MY MOM?" MAKE ME CRAZY. MAKE ME QUESTION, LIKE, HOW DEEP OF A CONNECTION THEY HAVE. LIKE, REALLY WHAT'S GOING ON? [knock at door] HELLO, DARLING. HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? - YOU LOOK VERY HANDSOME. - THANK YOU. - COME IN. COME IN. SHE'S UPSTAIRS GETTING DRESSED. - ALL RIGHT. READY FOR THIS HOMECOMING. - ARE YOU REALLY JUST FRIENDS, NICK? - WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. BEST FRIENDS, ACTUALLY. - THERE'S NO, LIKE, LITTLE BUTTERFLIES OR ROMANTIC FEELINGS? - UH... [laughs] - UH, UH... IF YOU GUYS ARE BLOWING SMOKE UP MY ***, I WILL KNOW. - OKAY? - ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M GOING TO GET CHANGED. "OH, WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. WE'RE JUST FRIENDS." WELL, I'M A MOM, I HAVE AN INTUITION, AND I FEEL DEFINITELY DIFFERENT. - OKAY, ARE Y'ALL READY? - OH, YES. all: WOW. - SO PRETTY. YOU LOOK SO PRETTY. - I DECIDED TO WEAR SNEAKERS THIS YEAR INSTEAD OF THOSE... - HELL YEAH. - HEELS. - GIVE YOUR BEST FRIEND A HUG. I KNOW YOU'RE DYING TO. - HI, NICK. - HOW YOU DOING? - GOOD, HOW ARE YOU? - YOU LOOK VERY NICE. - YOU LOOK CUTE. - THANK YOU. - I JUST LOOK AT BRIELLE, AND SHE'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL. AND THE WOMAN THAT SHE'S BECOMING IS INCREDIBLE TO ME, WHICH JUST MEANS THAT I HAVE MORE BOYS I HAVE TO WATCH OUT FOR. - ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO. - LET'S GO. - I'M HOT. I'M SERIOUSLY HOT. OKAY, WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING? - SELFIES. - HERE, ONE MORE, ONE MORE. - DO SELFIES AT THE RESTAURANT. - THAT WAY, NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS. [Nick and Brielle chuckle sarcastically] I FEEL LIKE I'M DRIVING MY DAUGHTER, LIKE, ON A DATE. - YOU ARE. - I'LL DRIVE. - HELL NO. - WHATEVER. - OKAY, Y'ALL. WE'RE GOING TO EAT SOMEWHERE ELSE. HAVE A BLAST. - HAVE FUN. - THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT, YOU READY TO GO? - YUP. - LOOK AT HOW CUTE SHE IS. GOD. both: I'M SO HUNGRY. - SHE'LL BE 16 SOON. WHAT AM I GONNA DO THEN? I MEAN, I WANT TO GO IN THERE AND JUST SPY ON THEM JUST FOR A MINUTE. SO LET'S JUST-- DO YOU MIND? - YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T GO WITH HER ON EVERY FRICKIN' DATE, OKAY? AT SOME POINT, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO, LIKE... - I KNOW. - YOU KNOW, LET HER GO. - OOH, THAT MAKES MY STOMACH HURT. - I MEAN, AND SHE'S JUST HAVING DINNER. - YEAH, I'M OKAY WITH HER HAVING DINNER, BUT I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT... I JUST WANT TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON. IS IT WRONG TO GO IN AND SPY ON THEM? THIS IS MY DAUGHTER'S FIRST KIND OF REAL DATE. I HAVE TO KNOW. - SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA GET? - THEY SAID I SHOULD TRY THE LOBSTER. - WHO SAID THAT? - PEOPLE I KNOW. - OH. - SO I'M DOING IT. - WHAT'S A TROUT? - TROUT'S A FISH. - GROSS. WHAT DOES 29 MEAN? OH, IS THAT THE PRICE? - YES, IT'S THE PRICE. - DO THEY HAVE-- DO THEY NOT HAVE FILET? - YEAH, FILET MIGNON? - NO, THAT'S FILET MIG-NON. - MIG-- IT'S A MIGNON. - WOULDN'T YOU SPELL IT, LIKE, M-I-N-O-N THEN? - BUT THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF... - OF WHAT, SPELLING? - SPELLING AND LITERATURE AND ALL THAT STUFF. - THEY HAVE A RED LOBSTER TAIL. - YEAH. - THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD. - ALL RIGHT, YOU GET THAT, AND I'LL GET THE FILET MIGNON. - OH, AND WE CAN JUST SHARE? - WE CAN SPLIT IT. - WAIT, CAN WE REALLY? - YEAH. AND THEN WE GET A SHRIMP COCKTAIL IF YOU WANT. - YEAH, PERFECT. - SWEET. - I DON'T WANT HER TO SEE US. - THIS IS HILARIOUS. THIS IS FREAKIN' HILARIOUS. - WELL, HE'S NOT SITTING NEXT TO HER. - WE SHOULD'VE HAD A BALL CAP. - I SHOULD'VE PUT MY BROWN WIG ON. I WASN'T EVEN THINKING. WELL, THEN SHE WOULD'VE SAW IT. I'M NOT THINKING RIGHT NOW. I DON'T WANT HER TO CATCH ME. I JUST WANT TO BE NOSY. - OH, LOOK AT THAT. - IT'S JUST DRY ICE. - WOW. - OH, MY GOD. WHAT THE HELL DID THEY ORDER? - WHAT IS THAT? - THAT'S FANCY. OH, MY GOD, IT'S GONNA MESS UP HER MAKEUP. - MMM. - IF HE EVEN TRIES TO FEED HER, I'M GONNA GET OUT OF MY SEAT, AND I'M GONNA POP HIM. SHE'S GOING TO DATE. SHE'S EVENTUALLY GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEBODY. I MEAN, THESE ARE--THIS IS, LIKE, REAL AT THIS POINT. YOU KNOW, AS SHE GETS OLDER, LIKE, THESE ARE THINGS I HAVE TO DEAL WITH, AND I'M NOT READY TO DEAL WITH THOSE. SHE'S DOUBLE-DIPPING. I NEED TO TELL HER THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE. - OKAY, YEAH. NO DOUBLE-DIPPING. - NO DOUBLE-DIPPING. - I WANT TO TOUCH THE DRY ICE, BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE, LIKE... - IT'LL BURN YOU. - YEAH. - I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT IS MY DAUGHTER. WHAT AM I GONNA DO WHEN SHE'S, LIKE, 18, AND SHE TRIES TO MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE? WHERE DID THE LAST 16 YEARS GO? AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IN TWO YEARS? BE LIKE, "SAYONARA. HAVE FUN IN COLLEGE"? LIKE, THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. I'M GONNA BE STALKING MY DAUGHTER PROBABLY FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS. - I WAS AT KANI HOUSE YESTERDAY, AND I HAD, LIKE, FRIED SHRIMP. AND THEN I LEARNED THAT SHRIMP USED TO LIVE. SO I FREAKED OUT AND I STOPPED EATING IT, AND I SAID I WAS NEVER GONNA EAT SHRIMP AGAIN. - REALLY? YOU JUST FOUND OUT SHRIMP-- WHAT DID YOU THINK IT WAS, THEN? LIKE, A VEGETABLE YOU GREW IN THE GARDEN? - I DIDN'T KNOW. [Vivaldi's Spring playing as ringtone] - HEY, HONEY. OH, MY GOD, DUCK YOUR HEAD. DUCK. S[bleep]. - OH, I KNEW IT. THAT IS YOUR MOM. - WE WERE TOTALLY FRICKIN' SPOTTED. - OH, F[bleep]. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW? WHAT A *** I AM. I CALLED KROY ON SPEAKER, AND KROY HAS A SPECIFIC RING FOR ME. - WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING HERE? - JEN HAS A HEADACHE. - SO YOU DECIDED TO SIT RIGHT THERE? - RIGHT THERE, WHERE YOU CAN SEE US? - YOU KNOW, THEY HAVE A NICE LOUNGE AREA, LIKE, RIGHT OVER THERE. MM-HMM. - UH-HUH. - THIS IS WHERE THE GUY SAT US. I DON'T KNOW. - WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ADMIT THAT YOU DON'T TRUST US? I DON'T GET WHY YOU DON'T, THOUGH. - WE DO TRUST YOU. THAT'S WHAT I TOLD JEN. I SAID, "I DON'T WANT BRIELLE TO THINK I DON'T TRUST HER OR NICK," BECAUSE I DO TRUST YOU GUYS. - WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN WHEN I'M 23? ARE YOU GONNA BE SITTING HERE TOO? - PROBABLY. - THAT'S SO CREEPY, MOM. - DON'T DOUBLE-DIP. - SO YOU'VE REALLY BEEN CREEPING. I'M LEAVING. I'M OFFENDED. WE'RE GOING BACK TO OUR DINNER. YOU GUYS ENJOY. - I LOVE YOU GUYS. - YEAH. - I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE HERE. - UGH. - WE'LL GIVE HER SOME SPACE. WE CAN GO HAVE A GLASS OF WINE ACROSS THE STREET. - YEAH. - EVERYTHING WAS FINE. LIKE, I NEED TO LET HER GO A LITTLE BIT. THERE'S NOTHING REALLY GOING ON. THEY'RE JUST BEING KIDS. SO IT'S TIME FOR KIM TO GROW UP A LITTLE. - THAT'S JUST... - UPSETTING. - IT'S WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT, THOUGH, FROM THEM. - YEAH, OF COURSE. - I MEAN... - SHE'S SO EMBARRASSED. - ALL RIGHT, SCOOT OVER. - WE SHOULD BE, LIKE, HOLDING HANDS OR SOMETHING. - BE LIKE... - OH, THAT'S SO CUTE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? [laughter] - WE'RE GONNA GO ACROSS THE STREET, HAVE A GLASS OF WINE. - HAVE A GREAT DINNER. - LOVE YOU, MOM. - LOVE YOU TOO. - LOVE YOU TOO, MOTHER-IN-LAW. - MOTHER-IN-LAW, YEAH, EXACTLY RIGHT. TOUCH HER AND DIE. - ALL RIGHT. [laughter] - COMING UP NEXT... - I GOT MY PROGRESS REPORT BACK TODAY. - OH, YOU DID? - AND... - DID YOU FAIL? - HOLA. HOLA, SEÑOR. SEE, I'M LEARNING SPANISH. CAN I GET A MARGARITA? - OH, I'LL TAKE JUST SOME WATER AND SOME GUACAMOL TOO. - GUACAMOLE? - YEAH. - GUACAMOLE. - YEAH. - HOW'S YOUR SPANISH COMING ALONG? - WELL, I JUST REALIZED I'VE BEEN SAYING QUESO FOR YEARS. I KNOW SPANISH. SEE? - AND YOU JUST SAID ANOTHER SPANISH WORD: "SI." - [laughs] - QUESADILLA. THAT'S SPANISH. - IT'S QUE-SA-DILL-A. - NO, THE "L" IN SPANISH IS PRONOUNCED LIKE A "Y" SOUND. - I DON'T GET IT. - QUE-SA-DILL-A. - WHAT DOES A "Y" SOUND LIKE? TORTILLA, TACO. IT ENDS IN AN "O," SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE REAL WORD FOR TACO IS. HEY, HOW DO YOU SAY "TACO" IN SPANISH? - THAT'S IT. "TACO." - TACO? WAIT, WHOA, WHOA. I'M ALL CONFUSED. - MOM. - ANA? - YES, MOM? - WHAT'D YOU DO TODAY? - NOTHING. - YOU DID NOTHING IN SCHOOL? YOU LEARNED NOTHING TODAY? YOU DID NOTHING TODAY? - YEP. - WELL, THAT'S GOOD, HONEY. NOW I KNOW WHERE MY TAX DOLLARS ARE GOING. - YEAH. - I GOT TO WAIT HERE FOR YOUR SISTER. - SO, GUYS, GUESS WHAT. - WHAT? - WHAT, BRIELLE? - I GOT MY PROGRESS REPORT BACK TODAY. - OH, YOU DID? - AND... - DID YOU FAIL? - NO. MY "F"s IN MATH AND PHYSICAL SCIENCE ARE NOW HIGH "B"s-- 87 AND 89. - GIVE ME FIVE. I'M REALLY, REALLY PROUD OF HER. SHE'S ON HER WAY TO BEING A SMART, SOPHISTICATED WOMAN... LIKE SOMEBODY ELSE I KNOW. GIVE ME A HUG, LOVE MUFFIN. - I'M ACTUALLY PROUD OF YOU. - I'M PROUD OF YOU. I THINK THAT WE SHOULD GO LOOK FOR NEW CARS! - OH, MY GOD, WAIT. CAN WE REALLY? - JEEP WRANGLER. - I CAN DEFINITELY SEE MYSELF WHIPPING THE RANGE ROVER OR A NEW JEEP, MAYBE AN AUDI. KROY, GUESS WHAT. - WHAT'S UP? - I GOT MY PROGRESS REPORT BACK TODAY, AND I HAVE AN 87 AND AN 89 IN PHYSICAL SCIENCE AND MATH. - OH, MAN. - I THINK THIS CALLS FOR CAR SHOPPING. - I THINK THIS CALLS FOR CAR SHOPPING, HONEY. - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. DO WHAT? - BABE, SHE HAS ALL "A"s AND "B"s. - THAT'S GREAT. YEAH, THAT'S PERFECT. THAT'S WHAT WE WANT. I MEAN... - WHY NOT? - THIS AIN'T THE OFFICIAL REPORT CARD. - WELL, I MEAN, HONEY, I THINK-- I THINK THE APPROACH IS WORKING. I KNOW BRIELLE PRETTY WELL, AND I DEFINITELY THINK GROUNDING HER KIND OF COOPED HER UP A LITTLE BIT. SHE JUST NEEDED A LITTLE ROOM TO GROW. - DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS? LIKE, I'VE BEEN STUDYING SO HARD, AND I'VE BEEN TRYING MORE AND PUTTING FORTH EFFORT. - HE'S SUCH A MOOD KILLER. - OH. AT THIS POINT, I THINK BRIELLE DESERVES A CAR. BUT KROY AND I DEFINITELY HAVE TO TALK TO COME TO A DECISION TOGETHER TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO. ALL RIGHT, WE'LL REEVALUATE THEN AND FIGURE IT OUT. WOULD YOU LIKE AN ICE CREAM CONE? 'CAUSE THAT USED TO WORK FOR ME WHEN I WAS LITTLE. - [laughs] - I DON'T KNOW WHAT WORLD YOU'RE LIVING IN. - ALL RIGHT, LOVE YOU, HONEY. BYE-BYE. - LOVE YOU TOO, OKAY. - DON'T BE SO DEPRESSED. DOESN'T IT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF TO HAVE THESE GREAT GRADES? - NO, IT DOES. - BRIELLE, I AM VERY, VERY PROUD OF YOU. MUY BIEN. I'M LEARNING. HOW ABOUT TE AMO MUCHO? - HOW ABOUT YO QUIERO CARRO? - "CAR," THAT'S ALL I KNOW. - "I WANT A CAR." - F[bleep] TOI. IS THAT "F" YOU? - I THINK THAT'S FRENCH. - I THINK THAT'S FRENCH, MOM. - [laughs] - I THINK YOU SHOULD STICK TO ENGLISH. - YEAH, MAYBE I SHOULD. NEXT TIME ON DON'T BE TARDY... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? - MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL. - ALL RIGHT. - OW. HOLY MOTHER. OH. - YOU GOT A CHRISTMAS TREE? - OH, HELL NO. - TA-DA. - OH, IT'S REAL? - OW, S[bleep]. THE TREE'S POKING ME. IT'S LIKE THE WICKED TREES IN THE WIZARD OF OZ. MY ***--OW. ALL THE ORNAMENTS ARE IN STORAGE. - YOU CAN SIT YOUR *** ON THE COUCH AND SEW POPCORN. - THAT IS NOT MY IDEA OF A TREE. - CHRISTMAS IS A CORPORATION HOLIDAY. - YOU'RE THE GRINCH.