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Previously on "Grey's Anatomy"
Pick me.
Choose me.
Love me.
I need to not die emotionally
crippled and alone.
Callie what I did to
you is unforgivable.
so you two are together?
You know what? You're
inappropriate and unprofessional.
Dr.
Hahn has agreed to bome our
new head of cardiothoracic surgery.
Lookin' forward to it,dr.
Yang.
My wife has filed for divorce.
I don't know if I can handle
one more night in that hotel.
You can say anything to me.
I want to marry you,and
you're not ready.
there's this thing
about being a surgeon--
maybe it's pride or maybe
it's just about being tough--
but a true surgeon never admits they
need help unless absolutely necessary.
What are your other symptoms?
Okay,there's the father thing
The mother thing,the sister thing
-mm,the dying-and-coming-back- to-life
thing.
-You have too many things.
I can't sleep.
I can't sleep without the dreaming.
And the panic attacks.
-One.
One panic attack.
-Okay,still.
What's wrong with me?
As far as I can tell,severe
abandonment issues.
that's crap.
Psych is crap.
Issues?
I mean,it's-- it's in the
book.
The book said it,not me.
have you considered maybe
you and derek should
stop having breakup sex?
Okay.
The more available he gets
the more I pull away.
What do you mean?
Nothing.
It's a derek thing.
Surgeons don't need to ask for help
'cause they're tougher than that.
Surgeons are cowboys-- rough
around the edges,hard-core.
Least,that's what
they want you to think.
ah,good morning.
Oh,perfect timing.
Trout for breakfast.
Again.
Yeah,don't start.
I let you live
on my land,so don't--don't start.
I'm older than you.
I've just
seen life from both sides now.
You gonna start singing?
I'm just saying that a man who is up fishing at
Oh,good.
A country-western song.
I'm pointing out it's a
thing we have in common,derek.
You know,what we need is something
to take our mind off of everything.
What we need
is a gentlemen's evening.
-A what? -A good, old--fashioned
gentlemen's evening
tonight.
this is absurd.
You shouldn't be sleeping
in the on call room.
It's not always an on call room.
Sometimes
it's a gurney in the tunnels and the
it's absurd
when I have a perfectly good bed.
And I know that we said we would wait and be
respectful,and we have been very respectful.
but now I want sex.
-Right now?
-no.
Tonight.
Tonight we will have
hot,perfect sex.
-You in?
-Yeah,I'm obviously in.
I gotta go.
I got patients to check
on,erica hahn to impress.
I'm gonna go kick some cardio
***.
Oh,god.
I gotta shave my legs.
It's okay if you don't,you
know,have ahance to shave your legs.
No,it's not.
It is not okay,george.
I have to shave my legs.
I will be shaving my legs.
Hot,perfect sex requires shaved legs.
Okay.
Erica hahn--
first day.
Oh,first day indeed,and a
mountain of paperwork to prove it.
Derek shepherd,you know erica hahn.
You're the new burke.
And this is dr.
Mark sloan,head
of plastics.
Erica hahn.
Ah,the new burke.
Welcome.
Excuse us.
Interesting guys,and by "interesting"
I mean "ridiculously attractive.
do you hire on looks alone,or
is actual skill a factor?
-Good to have you here,erica.
-Good to be here,richard.
What exactly is a gentlemen's evening?
I don't know.
It's an
evening with gentlemen.
And strippers?
No,I don't--I don't think
the chief meant strippers.
Sure sounds like strippers.
Dr.
Bailey?
What's the first thing that comes to mind
when I say the words "gentlemen's evening"?
Tassels.
Shiny,sequined
tassels and $1 bills.
See? Strippers.
There will be no strippers.
I'm almost positive.
So you don't know what
this thing is either?
No,but you're in?
Why not? I like to be surprised.
Okay.
Oh,heads-up.
Mr.
Incredible,12:00.
Hi.
Hi.
What the hell was that about?
That was about a date we have later
in the on call room.
It's nothing.
Well,you sure seem to be losing
sleep over a whole lot of "nothing.
" This is it-- hahn is in the
hospital,freakin' izzie is on her service again.
I'm gonna ride this trauma
train straight back into cardio.
Okay,what do we got?
Uh,two ambulances,multiple traumas.
Any chance you need a
resident's help,dr.
Torres?
As long as you want to smash
bones into dust while people cry.
Sweet.
What do you got?
Chest pain,tamponade,ruptured aorta?
Uh,more like a clown car.
Jackie escott,25 years old-- dislocated
shoulder lac to her thigh,vital signs are stable.
And helena
boyd,26 years old--
also stable with obvious nasal fracture
facial lacs and a chunk of missing scalp.
-She ripped out my hair.
-She ripped out my shoulder!
You pped out your own shoulder when you
were trying to push me off of the platform!
Who let go of the dress? Did
anybody let go of the dress?
Hang in there,honey.
Don't let
her psych you out,all right?
Okay,what the hell's all this?
It's a store contest.
I'm the judge.
Last one to let go of the dress-
-- wins the wedding of
my dreams.
-Of my dreams.
All right,enough.
You
two are injured,okay?
You need to get your priorities
straight and let go of the--
let go--let go of the
dress so we can treat you.
All right,let go now.
Now.
That's not gonna happen.
All right.
Fine.
Let's move.
oh,please let this be something
good,something cardio good.
Please.
stable having survived a 12,000-foot free fall.
A what?
His parachute didn't open.
Wait,he fell 12,000
feet without a parachute?
thank you.
What's his name?
Rick.
I'm rick jacobs.
He's talking?
you'd think after 12,000 feet,he'd
have at least a punctured lung.
where is he? Where are you?
Oh,my god.
There you arE.
How is he? How is he?
Is he okay? Is he dying?
No,I'm not dying,sally.
Okay,ma'am,you need to calm down.
Is this yourife?
My skydiving instructor.
-Well,ma'am- -I
watched the whole thing.
I-I couldn't do anything.
I was
just--I was just in the clouds floating,
watching while he--while he-- while
he--you-- you fell to your death.
His chute didn't open.
Ma'am,okay,we need to do our jobs,
and you're making that difficult by
hovering over the patient.
P-please have a seat and breathe.
I heard we have a skydiver
who fell 12,000 feet.
That'd be me.
-hello.
-Hi.
He's talking?
Clearly he's in shock,can't
feel the extent of his injuries.
Let's get him down for a C.
T.
Cristina,where are you going?
Multiple injuries means multiple surgeries.
I'm going to get me some cardio.
Okay,do you see that you're
bleeding all over the dress?
It's not about the dress.
I can't,uh,I can't-- there's
too much blood down here.
Which one of your legs is bleeding?
I don't know.
I can't
really feel anything anymore.
I hear you have a broken nose
down here.
What's with the dress?
It's n about the dress.
Can't they--can't they
just split the prize?
I offered.
I offered that 14 hours ago.
It is a $100,000 wedding package,and
I am not splitting it with anyone.
oh,you're bleeding on your dress.
it's not about the dress!
Uh,uh,I'm gonna have to
stabilize that shoulder somehow.
I'll go grab a sling.
-Well,this is cozy.
-This is hell.
I assigned o'malley to you to keep him
away from me,and now our patients are
connected to each other.
You're not looking at this
like the opportunity it is.
-Meaning?
-Meaning he's an intern.
It's,like,half my job,torturing interns.
thanks.
That's--
that's almost sweet.
But torturing george is not
gonna make any of this any better.
Torture him how,exactly?
My hands always get
so sweaty in hospitals.
It's the weirdest thing.
It's pretty common,actually.
If it makes you feel any better,Dr.
Hahn
has done this procedure hundreds of times.
And she's really gonna thread a catheter
up my leg,all the way to my heart?
Trust me,you are in excellent hands.
But,um,I--I'll
be out,right?
Oh,yeah,you'll be asleep.
You won't remember a thing.
Ivory-billed woodpecker.
I'm sorry?
Ivory-billed woodpecker-- that's
what's getting me through this.
I'm a,uh,lifelong birdwatcher.
And when I get through this,I am finally
going to scout the ivory-billed woodpecker.
It is so rare.
You know,we--we
thought it was extinct.
But it's not.
It lives in arkansas
in this one little patch of swamp.
Do you have any idea how incredible it
is to see a bird like that in person?
I'm sorry.
Uh,I'll be just one second.
Why are you hovering?
Guess what just came into the pit.
No,no,don't guess.
I'll tell you.
Skydiver.
Skydiver whose chute didn't open,who fell
Poor guy.
He probably broke
every bone in his body.
No,the point is not "poor guy.
" The point is amazing surgery.
And it could be yours for the low,low
price of a humdrum,everyday cardio cath.
Yeah,forget it.
I'm not
giving up hahn's service.
Hey,hey,izzie,you know
what? Cardio is my thing.
No.
I like this patient,I like
hahn,and I like cardio.
No,you are-- you are
flirting with cardio.
I am married to cardio.
You will marry general surgery
or,you know,okay,perhaps neuro.
but you,you are nowhere near
hard-core enough to commit to cardio.
So you are telling me to stop
flirting with your husband.
I get it.
That's cute.
But if you're gonna ask me for a favor,
insulting my personal life is probably
not a great tactic.
No,no,no,wait.
I am not
talking about your sex life.
I could not care less
about your sex life.
It's a skydiver,izzie.
Skydiver.
Sounds real cool.
Enjoy it.
if his intestines look like I think they
will,that's gonna take first priority.
He could have delayed paralysis.
This is not a contest,gentlemen.
But since a perfed bowel could kill the guy
whether or not his spine's in working order,
my money's on the chief going first.
Hey,what'd I miss?
Any cardiothoracic concerns?
I'd be happy to page dr.
Hahn.
Sc's coming up.
here it is.
Wait for it.
w-wait.
Wait.
oh,that can't be right,can it?
I'm not seeing any free
fluid,any intraperitoneal gases.
Does anybody see anything?
There! Right there.
A hematoma.
in the right lower quadrant.
It's the appendix.
W-we're saying this guy fell 12,000 feet,and
basically all he needs is an appendectomy?
you're charting in a closet.
I get a lot of work done in
here.
It's quiet and nice.
And a closet.
Look
when I'm out there roaming the floors,okay,
I am the other grey that dr.
Yang likes to
humiliate and kick around.
And--and in here,I'm--I'm not.
You
know,in--in here,I'm-- it's just--
it's--it's my place,okay?
It's--it's a closet.
You know,every intern classhas
its runt of the litter.
You keep this up,this
year it's gonna be you.
Get up.
Oh,sorry.
You probably
need to get in here.
No,grab--grab a sling from
the box and come with me.
With you?
Well,if you'd rather sit like a loser
in a closet doing charts,you can.
Or you can come help me on
ortho today.
Your choice.
No way.
No frickin' way.
it's the only solution if neither
of you will let go of the dress.
it's very simple.
Dr.
Torres needs to treat jackie's
shoulder and leg,so,jackie,you need a proxy.
What?
Think about it,babe.
This
gives you an advantage.
You get to rest your hand
and come back refreshed.
Give me the dress.
I'll be the proxy.
No way.
This isn't fair.
You think this is fair?
Dr.
O'malley's the proxy.
What?
He'll hold on to the dress.
Hold the dress? You just want me to
stand here and hold a dress?
No one every said internship was easy.
Dude,you're job kinda sucks,huh?
Hello? Watch the shoulder.
Oh,check it out.
Bambi's a bridesmaid.
you're right.
This did cheer me up.
you've got no lung injuries,no
spinal injuries,no broken bones.
-You're just a lucky man.
-Holy crap.
The only thing we found was a little
bleeding in your lower abdomen.
Which means we have to
remove your appendix.
How's that even possible?
Uh,the body's an amazing thing.
You know,sometimes these things,
they just happen.
If you had died god.
I didn't though.
I lived.
it's just the most amazing feeling.
I feel like I could
do anything right now.
I mean,anything in the world
because I faced death and I
I survived.
-It changes a person.
-It does.
It so does.
Sallysal,I have
to-- I want to,um--
don't worry.
The minute-- the minute we get out
of here,I am so destroying that video.
You will never have to-- to relive that
horrible-- in fact,where's your helmet?
I'm gonna destroy that video right now.
Sally.
Sal
wait.
Did she say "video"?
the trick is to envision the artery like a
spaghetti noodle-- pliable,but not too fragile.
Good morning.
Oh,this is an unexpected
surprise,chief.
You need something?
Oh,first day.
Just wanted to
see how you were settling in.
you see that?
It's a blockage,left main coronary
artery.
It's totally closed off.
There's no way I'm getting a stent in
there.
We're gonna have to open him up.
B.
P.
'S dropping to 58 over 20.
His heart's racing.
And his temp's rising.
Muscles are rigid.
All right,let's bring him off
anesthesia and start him on 100% o-2.
He's got malignant hypothermia.
So he's allergic to the anestsia?
He'll never be able to endure the cabg.
So what are our options?
that's just,uh
I mean,it sounds like
you're telling me
you're not actually telling
me I'M I'm gonna die?
The blockage we found in your heart
needs surgery,extensive surgery.
Angioplasty won't work.
And since you're allergic
to the anesthesia
so I'll just,uh
I'll be like this.
I'll be sick
and exhausted
and like this
until one day when I'll
just,uh
die.
It would've been wonderful
to see that bird.
It would've been wonderful.
Com ark) you're crowding me,o'malley.
Hey,hey,I think he just let go.
You
just let go of the dress,didn't you?
No.
I wish to god he had.
I swear,if you let go and lose this contest
after my jackie almost died to win it
Dude,a busted shoulder does not mean
she almost died.
Okay?
Whatever.
I'm watching you.
I know you all think this is stupid.
If I were you,I would
think this is really stupid.
Ll,I've never been married myself,
so I'm not one to judge,but george
here knows all about what it takes.
Don't you,o'malley?
You're married? For how long?
Not very long.
Newlywedongratulatations.
Thanks.
Now,jackie,dr.
Karev and i are gonna
do this on the count of three,okay?
I should totally win over that helena
girl.
I'm am way more injured than she is.
I should just win by default.
One
two
three.
Is it in?
It popped back out.
She's gonna need surgery.
Hey,no.
I gotta get back to my dress.
Just wrap some bandages around it
or something.
You would rather hold on to a dress
with a dislocated shoulder than let me
repair it in surgery for you right now?
I can have surgery anytime.
I
can only win this wedding once.
So what,heust stands
there and holds a dress?
I know.
I thought it was
gonna be more exciting,too.
A monkey could hold a dress.
Actually,this is a lot
harder than it looks.
don't let them get to you.
Tune them out,all of them.
It's the only way to get through it.
Sweetie,he's your
competition.
Don't help him.
You ever give morphine to
people who aren't patients?
This kinda blows.
It's more fun when you heckle.
Don't heckle,george.
Yeah,whatever.
I got
something way better than this.
Something that tops
o'malley playing bride?
Skydiver video.
What are we doing?
Video from the helmet of
a skydiver without a chute.
You guys are sick.
Oh,it's not a snuff
film.
The guy survives.
holy
Oh,is he
oh,no,he's going for it.
He's going for the chute.
Oh,and it doesn't open.
Now he's flailing.
He's going for his second chute.
-oh,jeez.
-Oh,also doesn't open.
You'd think there'd be more screaming.
Oh,ok how close the ground is getting.
-Wh-what's he doing
now? -Peeing his pants.
Is he saying something? Turn it up.
God,I wish would've told
you.
I am so in love with you.
I-I love you.
I love you.
I love you,sally.
I--ohh!
who's sally?
-His skydiving instructor.
-Sad.
Hey,what are you even doing here?
Aren't you supposed to be in surgery?
The guy is allergic to anesthesia.
The surgery was canceled.
I drowned.
I was sinking
I died.
And you know what I realized?
I realized how stupid
all of my issues are.
I'm waiting for how this applies to me.
-It doesn'T.
-Of course not.
Well,that man fell,and all he wanted was one
last chance to tell sall how he felt about her.
And I got one last
chance.
I got my chance.
And what have I done with it?
You know,being aware of your crap
and actually overcoming your crap are
two very different things.
-I know.
-Okay,found it.
dr.
Hahn,I know how you can do the surgery
on the patient who is allergic to anesthesia.
Well,no anesthesia means no ventilator.
No ventilator means no cabg.
Not
a whole lot of wiggle room there.
You can operate on him while he's awake.
Yang-- you can use a high thoracic
epidural to numb him from the chest down.
Let him breathe on his
own the entire time.
I mean,they pulled it off in india
last month,and then again in--
dr.
Hahn,you wanted to sign the
discharge papers for mr.
Arnold?
Not quite yet.
Wide awake?
You want me to let you slice open
my chest while I'm wide awake?
It is your best option.
Uh,how
how long would i have to be lying there,uh,on
the table with my chest open,uh,like that?
the surgery can take up to
five or six hours.
Maybe more.
uh,six hours
awake
w-with you operating on my heart.
I
the ivory-billed woodpecker.
-What?
-What?
The ivory-billed woodpecker.
Mr.
Arnold
you want to live to see it,don't
you? This is your only chance.
Ivory-billed woodpecker.
Excellent.
Stevens,we will scrub in
as soon as an O.
R.
Is free.
Uh,but the surgery was cristina's idea.
Either you want in or you don'T.
-Which is it?
-I do.
Uh,but-- I'm sure there'll be
standing room in the gallery,yang.
Stevens,book the O.
R.
uh,chief.
Awake open-hrt surgery?
I want to talk to you about tonight.
Have you heard about this
awake open-heart surgery?
I've invited sloan and,
um,well,I'm wondering what
I should tell him to expect.
Mm,tell him to expect a good time.
Okay,so what is that,
poker,cigars,whiskey?
I mean,what kind of things?
A good time,shep.
You know?
You have no idea the kind of stamina
it takes to stand in a display window
for two days.
It's the hardest thing
I've ever done,like,ever.
You're risking permanent damage
to your shoulder over a contest.
What does your dress look like?
Strapless,sweetheart neckline,
crystal beading-
- so pretty.
But you're gonna wear
your hair down,though,right?
You know,to cover the hunchback?
The what?
Oh,it's just,since you're ignoring
Dr.
Torres' advice about getting the surgery,
you know,your shoulder is probably
gonna be pretty swollen and purple
--you know,kind of like a hunchback?
But your hair should totally cover it.
I mean,probably,with the right veil.
You didn't tell me that.
How soon can we have the surgery?
dr.
Hahn.
I heard a crazy rumor about you.
That I'm performing open-heart surgery
on a man who's wide awake?
That's the rumor that's the truth.
Well,I perform awake brain
surgery all the time.
Not the same thing.
You ever heard of a
gentlemen's evening?
I'm sorry?
The chief is hosting a
gentlemen's evening.
We're pretty sure it doesn't involve ***,
but,you know,we want to be sure.
Right.
Are you two a couple?
that's--no.
Just checking.
Why would she ask that?
I don't know.
I'm--I'm worried about this
gentlemen's thing.
George
you got a second?
Seriously?
one se.
hi.
We're gonna have to push back our
perfect evening tonight.
Not by much--
a few hours,I think.
Sure.
Okay.
I'm about to scrub in on an
awake open-heart surgery.
- A what?
- Awake.
The patient's gonna be wide
awake while we operate on his heart.
That is intense.
-It is.
It is intense.
It'S
you know,cristina would
be all over this.
She would be studying and quizzing herself,
and all I can think about is--is the poor guy.
You know,he's really
nervous already,and
I'm not hard-core.
I'm nohard-core enough for this.
Yes,you are.
What,you're just--
you're just not like cristina.
You're hard-core.
You're hard-core like izzie.
did that just sound dirty?
'Cause that's not how I meant it.
Mean it,man.
Shut--
go kick *** in the surgery,and then
we'll have our night,and it will be perfect.
Oh,I have not shaved my legs yet.
Go be hard-core izzie.
Go.
-Okay,got it.
going
Thank you.
-Bye.
She's hot,man.
-- Is she your wife?
I don't know you well enough to
have this conversation.
Chief,you paged?
Close the door.
You had the nerve to tell a patient you
would perform awake open-heart surgery
without running it past me?
Did burke run every surgery past you?
Erica,I know you're new here -no.
But we run-- I just want to
know what the rules are.
Every surgery burke booked,
he ran it up the flagpole first?
And what about pretty and prettier?
They run all their
surgeries past you?
Wait,you're talking about
shepherd and sloan?
I am talking about your
male attendings.
You know,the ones you invited to your
gentlemen's evening?
Guess you don't know a guy
till you work for him.
I mean,who knew you were running
some kind of old boys' club?
No,that is not it.
What we were-- you realize that an
evening to which the male attendings
are invited and the women are not
-- you realize that that's a lot like
when law firms used to have
country club weekends
and failed to invite the black sociates?
Good talk.
I gotta prep for my surgery.
remember when I was dead?
Before I went in that water,
everything was so
complicated and hard.
And then you pulled
me out of the water.
And I came back to life.
For a moment,
everything was so clear
as if the water had
washed everything clean.
Do you remember that?
I do.
Me,too.
I don't know how you guys
did this for two days.
Believe me,I would be at city hall
tomorrow if that were an option.
It is an option.
You could justlet go.
You let go.
You let go,and it's no big deal.
It's a wedding.
I let go,and I haveo face the
wrath of Dr.
Sloan.
My mom manages a grocery store,
and ever since I got engaged,
she's been putting herself into serious debt
over hand-engraved place cards
and chocolate fountains.
It's her dream.
My wedding is her dream.
This is so important to her.
This is what she's been living for
since I can remember,since
my dad left.
My perfect night.
So
I can do this.
I can do this for her
because she's done a lot for me.
Get me a crash cart right now.
must have happened when she fell
this morning,which means
she was bleeding all day.
She seemed just fine.
She must have been feeling
some major pain.
Yeah,holding on to that dress,
that wasn't easy for her.
It was humiliating.
It was--
but when someone's trying to break
you,it gives you drive,gives you strength.
Holding on to that dress for hours--
I mean,days-- you know,just
and in public,refusing to buckle,
refusing to beg--
that hard-core.
I mean,in its own way,
that's seriously hard-core.
Rumor has it that sloan was busy
hazing one of his interns today.
I take it you didn't buckle.
No,sir.
Good man,o'malley.
uh,I can't feel anything
from the neck down.
It's almost like the rest of me just
doesn't exist.
Okay,the sound you're about
to hear,that's the saw.
that--that's not a pretty sound.
I brought you some music.
Just listen to this and tune it all out.
and--and--and that smell.
That--that smell is
not--that's the cautery.
I-I know it's hard,
but you'll get used to it.
In a moment or two,
you won't even notice it.
I promise.
he jumped out of that plane.
No one forced him to do it.
Fell 12,000 feet.
People chasing death down,
then trying to cheat it.
Doesn't make any kind of sense to me.
There's a clarity thing.
When you cross over the edge,
there's a moment when everything
just melts away,and you're fearless.
I get it.
I understand
wanting to feel like that.
You're awake.
Did I win?
You should know that your
surgery went very well.
But who won?
I-is she still holding on?
Helena collapsed.
She's in surgery.
So--so I won?
She--she collapsed,which--
which means I won,right?
Where--where's the judge?
You--the woman that you stood
next to for two days almost died.
Okay,you've just woken up from
surgery,and all that you can think
about is if you won a stupid contest?
Don't you get it?
You--you shouldn't have to fight
this hard for a wedding.
You fight for a marriage,and
sometimes even that is a lost cause.
Sometimes you have to
know when to let go.
So just let go already,all right?
Just frickin' let go.
Yeah,buT
d-did I win?
izzie stuck a picture of a bird on
an empty saline bag and put it in
his eyeline.
That's smart.
I wouldn't have
thought of that.
she doesn't let me take care of her.
It's not my job anymore.
She won't let me.
I'm taking care of her.
You're,uh
you're,uh,you're looking at my heart?
you're looking at my
actual heart?
Better than that,
Mr.
Arnold,we're fixing it.
and,uh,all-- all those people,uh,up there
in the observation deck,they're
--they're,uh,looking at it,too?
they are.
People watching me.
Pe-people watching me instead of,uh
it's--it's so weird,uh,
to be the one ing watched.
It--it's so weird.
How you doing there,Mr.
Arnold?
You need anything?
Uh,uh,it's--it's cold,uh,
co-cold in here.
Uh,I-I need to cover up.
Uh,uh,c-cover me up.
Uh,okay?
Um,cov-cover me up.
C-cov-cover me up.
yeah,we're gonna-- we're--we're gonna
cover your legs with more blankets right now.
Oh,c-cov-cover me up.
Okay?
Okay,cov-- cover me up.
His heart rate's up to 168.
Damn it.
You know,uh,ev-everybody's watching,
uh,and--and,uh,I-I need to be covered up.
I-i need-- I-I can't stay like this.
I can't stay like this.
You need--need-- I-I can' I can't.
No,stop right now.
Just--just stop the surgery.
Stop!Stop it!
D/6 okay,I-I mean it.
Get your hands out of me.
Please stop!
Mr.
Arnold,I need you to calm down
so that your heart can calm down.
Okay,hey,mr.
Arnold.
Mr.
Arnold) oh.
Look at me.
Good.
Okay.
Now I want you to focus on--
on the observation deck,okay?
Pretend that it's a tree line or a shoreline
or something-- something with birds.
Those aren't people up there watching
you,those are birds-- your birds--
and you're watching them.
So tell me,mr.
Arnold,about the birds.
Tell me.
Tell me about the birds.
I-I can't.
You can.
How about her?
That woman in--in the far left?
What kind of bird would she be?
Okay,okay,uh,uh,I guess,um,uh,
she--she has a long neck.
Uh,so she'd-- she'd be an ibis,
s-some kind of ibis.
Okay,good.
Great.
Great.
who's next?
Uh,okay.
th-that one,uh,doing--doing that little,
uh,dance with her fingers.
Um,she's A
she-- she's the purple sandpiper.
uh,yeah,th-those are tough little birds.
Those are survivors.
and,um,and him,uh,with the,uh,
the--the sad eyes,uh-huh,he would--
he's a,uh,a-a thrush,a-a
black-headed nightingale thrush.
and--and the tall one
standing there,uh,
watching over everything,
over,uh,everyone--
uhuh,he doesn'tiss a thing.
He's A
a great blue heron.
No question.
hey,how's,uh,how's,uh,
how's your bride?
Did she,uh,pull through okay?
Please tell me that you let go first.
I absolutely cannot handle my
bride winning that way.
What?
Oh,nothing.
Just,uh
I just didn't know if
we-- we'd ever be able to
talk again.
I'm letting go.
I have to
let go.
Why didn't you tell
anybody you were hurting?
You would've made me let go.
Hell yeah,I would've.
I guess I lost anyway.
No,actually,I let go first.
You did?
Someone had to catch you.
D.
Have a nice life.
we won.
oh,my god.
I can't believe
I'm crying over this.
we did this.
We actually did this.
No,sweetie,you did it.
This was all you.
I know this sounds ridiculous,
but I'm a little disappointed.
I mean,I survived a 12,000-foot
freefall,and this is gonna be my only scar?
It goes away.
The scar?
The feeling.
That feeling that you
have right now,today,
that feeling like you can do anything,
that clarity,it goes away.
And you go right back to being the
coward who can't tell the person
you love how you feel.
I saw your video.
Y-you saw the
But you're not gonna let sally see it,right?
Y-you're n gonna let her know what I said?
like I saiD
it goes away.
It's going away right now.
You have to tell her how you feel,
right now while you still can.
She is just so incredible,
I mean,at everything she does.
She's way out of my league.
You don't understand.
There is no way that she could possibly
feel the same way that--
well,if she doesn't feel the
same way,then you move on.
But if you never find
out how she feels,
then that won't be your only scar.
He doesn't have any
secret fetishes,right?
He really-- he doesn't strike me
as a fetish kind of guy.
Hey,richard,you gotta tell us
what this evening is about.
You've been obtuse,it's been fun but,
you know,we're getting a little freaked out now.
What's a gentlemen's evening?
It's an evening with no ladies,
just gentlemen.
That's it?
pretty boys living in the woods.
This is very charming.
Or sad.
I'm not sure which.
What happened to no ladies?
Plans change.
What are you doing tonight?
As in,uh
what are you doing tonight?
Look,uh
I'm not a nice guy.
I don't date.
I don't call the next day.
I--I'm not looking for a relationship
'cause I'm never good at 'em.
And honestly,I'm kinda hung up
on somebody else.
So
the only thing you're ever gonna get
from me is sex.
That's it.
And,uh,that's never enough for girls like you.
Deep down,everyone wants to
believe they c be hard-core.
But being hard-core isn't
just about being tough.
Oh,this is just unfair!
In your face,banker.
Park place is mine.
Give it up.
Come on.
yeah,oh,with a hotel!
I think you owe him money.
It's about acceptance.
George.
I'm exhausted.
Every bone
and every muscle in my body
aches.
And I don't think I can do this.
I don't-- it's not that
I don't want to,because I do.
I really,really do.
It's just that I-I just spent six and a half
hours on my feet in surgery,
and I can barely hold myself up,
and I'm just so tired.
this is--this is like a-- a
rare bird,george.
You know,I mean,the first time
that we're together since--
since we were together,and it's a
once-in-a-lifetime experience.
I don't want to waste it.
I don't want
to waste it on a night
that I'm too exhausted to enjoy it because
I want to enjoy our rare bird,george.
I need to enjoy our rare bird.
me,too.
I
and oh,my hand is jus oh,it's just killing
me from holding that dress.
S-so maybe to-- maybe tonight's
not the perfect night.
Maybe a perfect night is
another night.
Really?
Do you want to maybe,uh
go to sleep?
Oh,thanks.
Okay.
Did you only shave one of your legs?
I know.
I'm sorry.
No,no,I was just wondering.
It's cool.
It's--it's okay.
Sorry.
It's--it's-- oh,my god.
I can't do it.
Sometimes you have to give yourself
permission to not be hard-core for once.
Maybe I should take a sleeping pill.
Oh,no.
Don't do that.
You'll just get strung out and turn into
a bad afterschool special.
We'll just sleep,andyou'll slP.
I can't stop,cristina.
I just can't stop seeing derek.
And it's not about the sex.
It's not
about the sex.
It's about that moment afterward
when the world stops.
It just feels so safe
so safe.
I'm not ready to give that up.
Does that make me sad and
weak and pathetic?
A little bit.
What do I do?
I don't know.
You don't have to be tough
every minute of every day.
It's okay to let down your guard.
In fact,there are moments when
it's the best thing you could possibly do
as long as you choose your
moments wisely.
Alex,please tell me that you don't
live with Meredith grey.