Every Piece of My Broken Heart

[ Background Music ] >> Through my entire life, I have been through so many heartaches and heartbreaks. Since I was four years old all the way until I was 18, I'd been molested by several different males in my life. So from a young age, I felt like a toy only to be played with. I was used and then put back on a shelf, hidden away with my silent screams, feeling as worthless as the gum on the street. This carried on into my relationships with guys that would take advantage of my low self esteem. From physical to *** and emotional abuse endured from those boys because of my childhood. I felt like I deserved every bit of it. I didn't deserve to be truly loved. I deserved all this pain and hurt. I wanted to die. It got to the point that I would try to drown myself in alcohol to escape, not from the pain, but this life. I remembered some good things from earlier in life, roller blading down the street, eating hot Cheetos with Snow Storm ice cream, the laughter, the innocence. But that's not what is burned into my memory. It was me sitting in the homemade fort in the garage when I was four, darkness, confusion and pain from hands that were supposed to look after me. Being 11 and feeling hands on some dominoes and then me, the fright, the pleasure, the silence. Being 18 with all of the ***, hopelessness, the shame. Finally, when I was at my lowest point in my life, on the cliff of death, I got lower, on my knees and cried out to the Lord. He took my pain away when I broke my silence. Now, I can love with each and every piece of my broken heart. [ Background Music ]