Melissa's Story Part 1

>> THE LAST TIME I WEIGHED MYSELF, I WEIGHED 337 POUNDS, AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, "THAT'S NOT BIG. THAT'S NOT BAD AT ALL." AND WHEN I STEPPED ON THE SCALE AND IT SAID 645, I STARTED CRYING RIGHT THEN AND THERE. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE FACED WITH THAT NOW. [ SNIFFLES ] A DOCTOR TOLD MY MOM THAT I WOULD GO TO SLEEP AND DIE. YOU KNOW, IF I DIDN'T HAVE THE SURGERY, THERE WOULD BE NO LIFE. >> LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. THIS IS NOT EASY. >> COME OVER AND LIFT! >> HE'S BECOMING INDEPENDENT, AND I THINK HE'S FRIGHTENED ABOUT THAT. >> OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP WAS BASED ON ME BEING FAT. AND NOW HE SEES ME GETTING MY LIFE BACK, AND HE'S AFRAID I'M GONNA LEAVE HIM. -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS I COULD TELL YOU THIS WHOLE JOURNEY WAS EASY, BUT THAT WOULD BE A LIE, BUT IT WOULDN'T BE A LIE TO TELL YOU IT WAS WORTH IT. NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GO FROM WHERE I WAS TO WHERE I AM TODAY. IT'S NOT LIKE I SET OUT TO SAY, "OOH, I WANT TO GROW UP TO BE THE WORLD'S BIGGEST LADY. I WANT TO BE 700 POUNDS." IT JUST HAPPENED. FOR THE LONGEST TIME, I REALLY TALKED MYSELF INTO I DIDN'T HAVE A WEIGHT PROBLEM. I WAS STILL WALKING. IF I HAD A WEIGHT PROBLEM, I COULD NOT WALK. >> HER WHOLE LIFE, MELISSA'S BEEN KIND OF HEAVY. IT JUST SEEMED LIKE IT ESCALATED AND KEPT GETTING BIGGER AND MORE AND MORE, AND THEN SHE REALLY GAINED SOME MORE. SHE SAID, "I KNOW. I'M FAT. I'M FAT." AND I SAID, "MELISSA, IT'S NOT THAT." I SAID, "IT'S HARD FOR US TO LOOK AT YOU AND KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS. YOU JUST CAN'T DO IT." >> THE LAST TIME I WEIGHED MYSELF, I WEIGHED 337 POUNDS, AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, "THAT'S NOT BIG. THAT'S NOT BAD AT ALL." AND THEN I WENT TO A DOCTOR, AND WHEN I STEPPED ON THE SCALES AND IT SAID 645, I STARTED CRYING RIGHT THEN AND THERE. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE FACED WITH THAT NOW. [ SNIFFLES ] IT'S NOT A NUMBER YOU ASSOCIATE WITH A PERSON. NO PERSON SHOULD EVER BE THAT NUMBER. >> IT'S BEEN TOUGH. I WORRY ABOUT HER GETTING SICK. I WORRY ABOUT COMING HOME AND FINDING HER DEAD BECAUSE HER BODY KILLED HER. SHE'S GOT HER WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF HER, AND I'M TO THE POINT WHERE I'M READY TO START A FAMILY AND SETTLE DOWN, AND WITH HER BEING THE SIZE THAT SHE IS, WE CAN'T DO THAT. >> HOW ARE Y'ALL DOING TODAY? >> JUST FINE. HOW YOU DOING? >> GREAT. >> WE MET IN 1997. THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. FIRST QUESTION SHE ASKED ME WAS, "WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HAT, AND WHAT COLOR IS YOUR TRUCK?" AND, OF COURSE, THE HAT WAS WHITE, AND THE TRUCK WAS BLACK. >> IT'S FUNNY, 'CAUSE I KNEW RIGHT THEN THAT I WAS GONNA MARRY HIM. >> TRUTHFULLY, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE WEIGHED WHEN I FIRST MET HER. SHE WOULDN'T TELL ME. IF I HAD TO GUESS, I'D PROBABLY SAY CLOSE TO 400 POUNDS. BUT THAT DIDN'T MATTER TO ME. IT DIDN'T BOTHER ME. I JUST KNEW SHE WAS THE ONE. [ APPLAUSE ] WE KNEW THAT WE WANTED TO HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER AND HAVE A FAMILY. >> I HOPE TO HAVE KIDS. THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL, BECAUSE I LOVE KIDS. >> HERE YOU GO. [ HUMS, LAUGHS ] >> OH, WAIT. [ CART BEEPING ] WHAT EVERYBODY TAKES FOR GRANTED EVERY DAY, I CAN'T DO. THE HARDEST THING ABOUT BEING IN PUBLIC AT MY WEIGHT IS, YOU GET LOTS OF LOOKS, AND SOME ARE SYMPATHETIC, SOME ARE, "OH, YOU DIRTY WASTE." >> YEAH. >> [ LAUGHS ] >> THINK WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR HEAD. WHISPER WHAT YOU WANT WITH SOMEBODY WHO'S WITH YOU. BUT TO SAY IT OUT LOUD IS THE WORST. THE ONLY THING I WANT TO DO IS JUST TO FALL INTO A DEEP HOLE AND JUST NEVER COME OUT. AND I WAS LIKE, "YEAH." HE WAS LIKE, "WELL, IF YOU GET ANY BIGGER, THEN YOU CAN JUST BUY A BIGGER CART." >> HMM. HMM. >> [ SOBS ] >> IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT. >> [ Voice breaking ] IT'S AWFUL TO REALIZE WHAT I HAD DONE TO MYSELF. [ SNIFFLES ] BUT IT WASN'T JUST ME THAT IT AFFECTED. I HAVE TO RELY ON CHRIS FOR EVERYTHING. [ SNIFFLES ] AND IF SOMETHING SHOULD HAPPEN TO CHRIS, I WOULD HAVE TO GO HOME TO MY PARENTS, AND THAT'S NOT HOW IT SHOULD BE. WHERE YOU WANT TO GO EAT? I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS. I WAS ADDICTED. ONCE YOU GET ADDICTED, YOU CAN'T STOP. >> ME BEING THE HUSBAND AND WANTING TO GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS, IT WOULD BE NOTHING FOR ME TO BRING HOME TWO BIG MACS, 20-PIECE McNUGGETS, CHOCOLATE BARS, SODA POP. >> CAN I HAVE SOME OF YOUR FRIES? >> WE WOULD GO INTO TOWN, STOP AT WHEREVER, AND GET SOMETHING TO EAT AND THEN COME HOME AND COOK. LOOKING BACK ON IT NOW, IT KIND OF MAKES ME SICK TO THINK THAT I DID THAT. IT WAS A CONSTANT STREAM OF FOOD EVERY DAY. >> I HAVE BREAKFAST AT 7:00, 8:00, 9:00, 10:00. 11:00, I STARTED LUNCH, AND I JUST ATE ALL DAY LONG. >> AT THAT POINT, I BECAME HER ENABLER AND HER CARETAKER ALL IN THE SAME TURN. >> THESE MAY BE MY LAST FRENCH FRIES EVER, BUT IT'S GONNA BE WELL WORTH IT. THE FIRST DOCTOR I WENT TO, HE COME IN. HE PUSHED ON MY STOMACH. HE'S LIKE, "OKAY. WE NEED YOU TO LOSE 100 POUNDS. I'M NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING UNTIL YOU DO THAT." AND AT THAT POINT, I WAS DEVASTATED. I GAVE UP. BUT IT TOOK ME A YEAR TO FINALLY FIND A DOCTOR WHO WOULD HELP ME. >> I WAS HER BIGGEST CHAMPION OF HAVING THE SURGERY. I SAID, "YOU GOT ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE NOW, AS IT IS. I THINK YOU'RE DESTINED FOR GREAT THINGS. THIS IS JUST THE FIRST STEP." >> THEY TELL YOU THERE'S A CHANCE OF DYING ON THE OPERATING TABLE. I FIGURE I GOT TWO CHOICES. I CAN EITHER DIE ON THE OPERATING TABLE, TRYING TO GET HEALTHY, OR I CAN DIE BECAUSE I'M 645 POUNDS. I MEAN, AT LEAST I'M TRYING. >> I'M NERVOUS AS HECK. I'VE BEEN PACING THE FLOOR AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF, BUT THAT'S JUST TO BE EXPECTED. YEAH. COULD YOU HEAR ME? >> YEAH. >> I THINK EVERYBODY COULD HEAR ME. >> DID YOU WANT ME TO GET OVER? WHY YOU GOT A TEAR FOR? [ Voice breaking ] DON'T CRY. [ MOUTHING WORDS ] I DIDN'T SLEEP LAST NIGHT. I'M SCARED. I'M EXCITED. I'M SCARED. [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] I THOUGHT THIS IS GOING TO BE ONE MORE THING THAT I'M GOING TO MESS UP. I WAS SO SCARED, BUT I WAS READY. THERE'S MY HERO. GOOD MORNING. HOW ARE YOU? >> I'M DOING OKAY. HOW ABOUT YOU? >> I'M FINE. THIS IS MY MOM. >> HI. >> YOU'LL BE HAPPY A YEAR FROM NOW. >> OKAY. >> IT'S GONNA BE REALLY, REALLY HARD BECAUSE THIS IS HER FIRST SURGERY EVER IN HER WHOLE LIFE OF ANYTHING. >> THE WAITING'S THE WORST PART. >> NO, THE WAITING AIN'T THE WORST PART. >> OH, I'M GETTING SICK. >> WAKING UP'S THE WORST PART? >> WAKING UP'S THE WORST PART. >> IT'S A BIG CHALLENGE. THESE TABLES ARE NOT MADE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPER OBESE, SO WE HAVE TO PUT ATTACHMENT TO THE TABLE TO MAKE IT COMFORTABLE FOR HER TO LAY DOWN FOR NEXT COUPLE HOURS THAT WE'RE DOING THE SURGERY. ARE WE READY TO MOVE? >> I'M READY. YES. >> ARE YOU SURE? >> MELISSA IS FINALLY GETTING WHAT SHE'S WANTED FOR THE LAST YEAR. >> WE'RE GONNA HIT THE DOOR. >> I'M GLAD THIS IS HAPPENING. LOOKING AT ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND SAYING, YOU KNOW, "HOW CAN I HELP? WHAT CAN I DO?" THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO. >> GOOD LUCK, MELISSA. >> THANK YOU. >> PARENTS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO WATCH THEIR CHILDREN DIE. PARENTS ARE NOT TO WATCH THEIR CHILDREN DIE. >> NOW, WHO PUT THE CAFETERIA NEXT TO THE PLACE WHERE THEY'RE TAKING THE PEOPLE WHO CAN'T EAT? >> I'M PROUD OF HER. SHE'S DOING WELL. >> I'M VERY EXCITED. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO HER LIFE CHANGING AND OUR LIFE CHANGING. >> THEY EXPLAINED THAT THIS SURGERY WAS HIGH-RISK. MY BIGGEST FEAR IS THAT I DIE. >> LIFT OVER. >> BUT I'M HOPEFUL BECAUSE IT'S GONNA BE BETTER... IT HAS TO BE BETTER. I'M READY FOR A WHOLE NEW ME. ...BECAUSE I'M NOT DONE. I'M SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING ELSE. I'M NOT DONE HERE YET. WORK, WORK, YEAH. BACK THEN, THESE WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERIES WEREN'T REALLY BEING DONE. THE RISK FACTORS ARE HIGH. IT WOULD BE A RISKY PROCEDURE ON SOMEONE MY SIZE. BUT I KNEW THAT, 100%, WITHOUT IT, I WAS GONNA DIE. >> PATIENTS THAT ARE EXTREMELY OVERWEIGHT -- THEY HAVE HIGH RISK DURING ANESTHESIA. ANY MOMENT, THEY CAN HAVE A CARDIAC OR RESPIRATORY EVENT THAT WILL TERMINATE THEIR LIFE. >> I'M UPSET, NERVOUS, EXCITED. WE'VE JUMPED OFF THE EDGE OF THE GRAND CANYON AND INTO UNCHARTED TERRITORY. SHE'S THE PERSON I WANT TO BE WITH, AND I HAD NO CLUE WHERE WE WERE GOING. I WAS SCARED. >> ESSENTIALLY, GASTRIC BYPASS IS AN OPERATION TO HELP PATIENT LOSE WEIGHT. IT CREATES A SMALL STOMACH. IN ESSENCE, PATIENT WILL BE ABLE TO EAT VERY SMALL AMOUNT TWO OR THREE TIMES A DAY AND LOSE WEIGHT AND MAINTAIN THE WEIGHT LOSS. >> I'M BETTER, NOW THAT SHE'S BEEN BACK THERE AWHILE, AND... I'M DOING BETTER. I'M DOING A LOT BETTER. >> MELISSA DID WELL DURING THE GASTRIC BYPASS. HER SURGERY WENT VERY WELL. >> OKAY. >> HEY. EVERYBODY IS HERE. SHE DID VERY GOOD. IT TOOK HER A LITTLE LONGER TO GET STARTED, BUT SHE DID VERY GOOD. >> CAN I GO SEE HER? >> IN ABOUT AN HOUR. >> ABOUT AN HOUR. >> YEP. >> MELISSA, YOU ARE IN THE RECOVERY ROOM. TAKE A DEEP BREATH. >> I'M GLAD SHE'S ALL RIGHT, AND I'M JUST READY TO SEE HER. I'M VERY ANXIOUS TO SEE HER. >> HOW YOU DOING? >> MY BACK IS HURTING SO BAD. >> BACK'S HURTING SO BAD? >> YOUR BUTT? >> WELL, HECK. WE ALL DONE THAT, COMING DOWN. >> AS A VERY LARGE PERSON, BEING ON YOUR BACK FOR 5 TO 10 HOURS, THAT'S A LOT OF WEIGHT ON YOUR BACK FOR SO LONG. >> I'M SO HAPPY. I'M ABSOLUTELY HAPPY FOR HER. >> [ GROANS ] >> THIS HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING, AND I'M JUST -- I'M HAPPY. IT'S GREAT. >> MELISSA IS 650 POUNDS, AND HER BMI IS 113. THAT'S ONE OF THE HIGHEST BMI WE HAVE DONE. MELISSA. >> YES. >> HOW YOU DOING? >> ALL RIGHT. >> YOU FEELING OKAY? >> YES. >> HOW DOES YOUR STOMACH FEEL? >> IT'S ALL RIGHT. THAT RECOVERY WAS TOUGH. IT WAS A LOT TOUGHER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE. OH, I'M AFRAID TO GO TOO FAR. >> I'VE GOT A WHEELCHAIR, BABY. >> I DON'T THINK I CAN MAKE IT. OH, I GOT TO SIT DOWN NOW. I HAVE TO. I'VE QUESTIONED MYSELF. HAD I KNOWN THE PAIN, WOULD I HAVE MADE THE SAME DECISION? [ GROANS ] HELP. THE SIDES. I CAN'T. [ GROANS ] I GUESS I JUST MAGICALLY THOUGHT, "OH, I'LL BE ALL RIGHT." I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS GONNA BE THIS PAINFUL. >> YOU'RE DOING ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE HANGING IN THERE, AND THAT'S ALL THAT CAN BE EXPECTED. >> HEY, MELISSA. HOW ARE YOU? >> I COULDN'T EAT. WHAT I WANTED DIDN'T AGREE WITH MY POUCH, SO A LOT OF STUFF CAME BACK UP. >> PATIENT WITH A GASTRIC BYPASS, THEY CAN EAT ABOUT TWO OR FOUR OUNCES, AND THEY FEEL FULL. THEY ALSO HAVE SATISFACTION FROM THE EATING. >> WELL, FIRST OF ALL, THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT A MEAL. AFTER A FEW BITES, LIKE, I'VE JUST ABOUT HAD ENOUGH. IT ALMOST MAKES ME SICK TO EAT IT. >> MELISSA IS DOING VERY GOOD. SHE HAD A LITTLE BIT OF A SLOW START ABOUT EATING, BUT SHE'S TOLERATING THAT VERY WELL AND SHE'S MOVING AROUND VERY GOOD. YOU READY TO GO HOME TODAY? >> YES. I WAS JUST TELLING HIM HOW MUCH I AM READY TO GO HOME. >> AND YOUR INCISIONS LOOK GOOD. >> I AM TIRED AND I AM STRESSED OUT, AND I AM GLAD SHE'S GOING HOME. IT'S JUST HARD. >> SO, YOU'RE SAYING I'M NOT WORTH IT? >> NO, YOU'RE WORTH IT. YOU'RE MORE THAN WORTH IT. YOU'RE WAY MORE THAN WORTH IT. IT'S BEEN *** ME. IT'S BEEN *** YOU. >> I'M SO EXCITED. >> TARGET WEIGHT FOR MELISSA WILL BE UNDER 200 POUNDS. OF COURSE, SHE'S GONNA NEED MORE SKIN SURGERY TO TAKE CARE OF EXCESS SKIN. I EXPECT THAT SHE'S GONNA LOSE 30 TO 40 POUNDS EVERY MONTH FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS. >> VERY GOOD. 633. >> I WOULD BE HAPPY AT 200, 250. I DON'T HOPE TO BE SKINNY. I HOPE TO BE HEALTHY. I HOPE TO BE NORMAL. THAT SOUNDS STUPID, DOESN'T IT? BYE! THANKS, EVERYBODY! >> TAKE CARE. >> UP, UP. SORRY. [ GROANS ] >> THE FIRST NIGHT AT HOME, I DREAMED THAT I ATE A WHOLE PIZZA. I COULD TASTE THE PIZZA IN MY MOUTH. IT WASN'T BECAUSE I WAS HUNGRY IN MY STOMACH. IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS HUNGRY IN MY HEAD. PEOPLE TAKE FOR GRANTED THAT IT'S ALL GONNA BE, "THE WHOLE SURGERY'S A MAGIC PILL." BUT ALL THE PROBLEMS THAT WAS THERE BEFORE SURGERY IS THERE AFTER SURGERY. [ ENGINE TURNS OVER ] IT'S FUNNY HOW YOUR WHOLE LIFE CHANGES. WHEN YOU'RE THAT SIZE, ALL YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS ARE, "IF I COULD JUST LOSE THIS WEIGHT." BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW DIFFERENT IT IS, THE REALIZATION THAT YOU NO LONGER NEED A CARETAKER. LOOK, I CAN GO UP AND DOWN THE STEPS WITH NO HANDS! IT'S LIKE BEING FREE. SEE? WATCH. LIKE YOU'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN JAIL AND FINALLY, FOR ONCE, YOU'RE FREE. AND I CLEAN THE HOUSE, PUT AWAY GROCERIES. AND THIS IS MY PROTEIN DRAWER. EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE'S ABOUT PROTEIN. IT'S MOZZARELLA CHEESE. 14 GRAMS OF PROTEIN. THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND. THIS I LOVE. I PUT THIS ON MY CHICKEN. FATTY FOODS MAKE ME SICK. HAMBURGER -- WORST THING TO THROW UP. I HAD A BITE OF A SNICKERS. I WON'T DO IT AGAIN, BECAUSE IT WASN'T WORTH GETTING SICK OVER. CHRIS -- HE'S DONE WAY MORE THAN A HUSBAND SHOULD HAVE TO DO. YOU HAVE TO WASH YOUR WIFE BECAUSE SHE CAN'T WASH HERSELF, OR YOU HAVE TO WIPE HER BECAUSE SHE CAN'T CLEAN UP AFTER HERSELF. AND "LET THERE BE LIGHT." BUT NOW HE DOESN'T HAVE TO DO THAT ANYMORE. OH! SEE MY CHAIR? IT'S STRANGE TO BE ABLE TO FIT MY WHOLE BODY INTO THE CHAIR. I DO THINGS I HAVEN'T DONE IN YEARS. BEFORE, I HAD TO WAIT TILL CHRIS GOT HOME. NOW HE COMPLAINS SOMETIMES, "YOU ALWAYS GET THE MAIL." I FEEL LIKE I HAVE SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR, JUST GETTING REACQUAINTED WITH THE PERSON THAT I'VE ALWAYS BEEN. >> COME ON IN, MELISSA. >> I'M AFRAID BECAUSE I KEEP HEARING YOU LOSE MOST OF YOUR WEIGHT WITHIN, LIKE, THE FIRST SIX MONTHS, AND THAT NUMBER IS CREEPING REALLY FAST. AHA! I TOLD YOU. [ LAUGHS ] I TOLD YOU. YOU FIGURE THAT LOSING WEIGHT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY. I WISH IT WAS MORE. I WISH IT WAS MORE. I GUESS I WANT TOO MUCH TOO FAST. >> IT'S BEEN A VERY INTERESTING 3 1/2 MONTHS. EVEN MYSELF, I'VE LOST WEIGHT JUST FROM JUST HAVING TO CHANGE THE WAY I EAT. >> HEY, MELISSA. HOW ARE YOU? >> I'M DOING GREAT. >> PUT THAT DOWN. SEE HOW MUCH... >> IT IS REALLY BOTHERSOME. IT GETS IN THE WAY A LOT, AND IT'S VERY HEAVY. >> WELL, THE GOAL WILL BE TO TAKE IT OFF IF IT INTERFERES WITH YOUR WALKING ACTIVITY. >> THANK YOU. I HAD A WHOLE LIST OF THINGS THAT I WAS SO SURE I WANTED WHEN I STARTED THE SURGERY, AND HOW THOSE THINGS HAVE CHANGED. IT'S GONE FROM WANTING TO PUT A SEAT BELT ON IN A CAR TO OWNING MY OWN CAR. [ CHUCKLES ] >> SHE'S DOING MORE FOR HERSELF NOW. SHE'S GETTING HER LIFE BACK. >> STILL HARD FOR YOU TO DEAL WITH, THOUGH. >> SOMETIMES. IT WAS AN ADJUSTMENT FOR ME, HAVING TO LET GO OF THAT CARETAKER ROLE, BECAUSE I'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR THE BETTER PART OF SIX YEARS. >> IT'S VERY *** A RELATIONSHIP. EVERY DAY I GET TO HEAR, "DID YOU USE MY RAZOR? WHEN DID YOU START SHAVING YOUR OWN LEGS? WHO PAINTED YOUR TOENAILS?" >> I'LL START TRYING TO DO SOMETHING FOR HER. SHE WANTS TO DO IT, AND THEN WE JUST KIND OF GET A LITTLE ANGRY AT EACH OTHER. IT'S HARD TO BREAK THE PATTERN. >> WHEN WE GET IN AN ARGUMENT, I'M NOW ABLE TO GET UP AND LEAVE THE ARGUMENT. IT KIND OF SCARES HIM. >> TRUE. IT'S TRUE. I'D HAVE TO AGREE WITH THAT. >> FOR SO LONG, YOU NEVER HAD TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT I WAS DOING, BECAUSE HE KNEW I WAS THERE. AND NOW HE SEES ME GETTING MY LIFE BACK, AND HE'S AFRAID I'M GONNA LEAVE HIM. >> NOTHING GOOD EVER COMES WITHOUT A STRUGGLE. AFTER MY SURGERY, FOOD MADE ME NAUSEOUS. BUT AFTER THE FIRST TWO MONTHS, I WANTED TO EAT. FIRST INSTINCT WHEN SOMETHING GOES WRONG IS TO GO TO THE REFRIGERATOR. "OOH, I NEED SOMETHING SWEET." AND THEN I CATCH MYSELF, AND I'LL BE LIKE, "OKAY, SHUT THE REFRIGERATOR. IT'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING DEEPER." THAT'S THE WORST THING IS, THE STILL HAVING TO FIGHT, TO HAVE TO OPEN THE REFRIGERATOR AND FIGHT WITH MYSELF TO REACH FOR SOMETHING THAT'S GOOD FOR ME. THAT'S MINE, BUT THAT'S A SECRET. CHRIS'. DON'T USE. CHRIS'. CHRIS'. DON'T USE. BUT I HAVE LIED NOT ONLY TO MYSELF BUT LIED TO EVERYBODY ELSE. AND I'M A VERY GOOD LIAR. BECAUSE EVERYBODY YOU ASK SAY, "WELL, I NEVER SEEN HER EAT THAT MUCH. SHE NEVER REALLY ATE THAT MUCH." YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET? IT'S NOT THE YARN BASKET. IT'S THE TREAT BASKET. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SHOWING YOU THIS. I PACK CHRIS' LUNCH IN THE MORNING. HE TAKES SNACKS AND TREATS. SEE? THE GOOD STUFF. THIS IS THE DEVIL'S FOOD. THIS IS ILLEGAL CONTRABAND. IF I SEE THEM, THEN I WANT THEM. SO I THROW MY YARN DOWN ON TOP TO KEEP THEM HIDDEN. LET ME SHOW YOU MY PURSES. MY PROTECTION PURSE. I SEE SOMEBODY LOOKING AT ME, STARING PRETTY HARD... MY BAG GOES IN FRONT. AND THIS HAS EVERYTHING IN IT BUT THE KITCHEN SINK. DEODORANT. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING AS A FAT WOMAN -- PERFUME SPRAY, BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU TAKE A BATH, HOW MUCH YOU WASH, HOW MUCH YOU TRY... YOU END UP SMELLING. WHAT DO I ATTRIBUTE MY WEIGHT TO? THE FIRST THING IS EMOTIONS, BECAUSE I ALWAYS KEPT EVERYTHING IN. SURGERY STUFF WAS THE EASY PART. THE HARD PART IS REALIZING WHERE YOU WENT WRONG. THINGS ARE TUCKED AWAY IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND FOR A REASON. THERE'S A PART OF YOU THAT DISLIKES YOU. MY WEIGHT WAS MY SHIELD, JUST LIKE MY PILLOWS AND MY PURSES ARE MY SHIELD. TO LOSE THE WEIGHT AND BE HAPPY, I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO THROUGH MEMORIES THAT I HAVE PUT IN THE BACK OF MY MIND, SO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THOSE ISSUES. I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE. I DON'T WANT TO BE OVERWEIGHT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. SIX MONTHS AFTER MY SURGERY, I DECIDED TO FLY TO MY HOMETOWN FOR A FAMILY REUNION, AND I WAS TERRIFIED. FOR SEVERAL YEARS, I WAS TOO ASHAMED TO GO TO ANY KIND OF FAMILY FUNCTIONS. MOST PEOPLE MY WEIGHT SHUT THEIRSELF OFF FOR YEARS. I'M NERVOUS TO SEE MY FAMILY. I'M NERVOUS OF FLYING. >> WHERE ARE YOU GOING? >> AT THAT POINT, I HAD LOST 200 POUNDS, SO I WAS STILL 400-PLUS POUNDS. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I HAD BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE IN I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG. >> YOU KNOW HOW THAT WORKS? >> I HAVE TWO SEATS. [ CHUCKLES ] IT'S EMBARRASSING. [ SNIFFLES ] I'M JUST MAD. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE LOOKING. PEOPLE LOOK AT ME WITH SUCH DISGUST IN THEIR FACE AND EYES. IT'S JUST HARD. I DON'T LIKE TO BE IN PUBLIC. I'VE BEEN HIDING FOR 12 YEARS OF MY LIFE. [ SNIFFLES ] AND SO COMING OUT IS HARD. BE NICE JUST TO BE OVER WITH. [ Sighing ] OH. AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE FLIGHT. I'M TALKING ABOUT THIS WEIGHT LOSS, JUST TO HAVE A LIFE AGAIN WITHOUT HAVING TO BE LOOKED AT LIKE I'M SOME FREAK. [ SNIFFLES ] MY FAMILY IS SO CLOSE-KNIT THAT THEY ALL LIVE IN ONE CENTRAL AREA. AND IN '97, I MOVED AWAY, SO A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVEN'T SEEN ME. IT'S BEEN A LONG WHILE. I STOPPED GOING TO ALL FAMILY FUNCTIONS. I STAYED IN ONE ROOM, BASICALLY. I'M GONNA HAVE TO FACE MY FEARS, AND ONE OF MY BIGGEST FEARS IS LETTING MY FAMILY DOWN. I'M AFRAID THEY'RE GONNA SEE ME AND NOT APPRECIATE WHERE I'VE CAME FROM. I JUST DON'T WANT TO LET THEM DOWN. >> [ CRYING ] MY MOM COULDN'T BELIEVE I WAS WALKING, 'CAUSE IT HAD BEEN YEARS SINCE SHE'D SEEN ME WALK. WHY ARE YOU CRYING? >> NEVER SEEN YOU WALK THAT FAR. >> YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW FAR. >> YES, I DO. I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE HER WALKING. OH, MY GOD. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT. IT'S SO UNREAL. >> MAKE IT? >> CAN YOU HOLD THIS DOOR, MOM? >> I GOT IT, I GOT IT. >> I'M GONNA FIT! [ LAUGHS ] >> [ CHUCKLES ] SHE'S LIKE, "AH, I FIT!" [ LAUGHS ] >> [ SNIFFLES ] >> YOU OKAY? YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES YOU'D COME HOME, AND WHEN YOU'D LEAVE, YOUR DAD WOULD CRY AND SAY, "I'LL NEVER SEE HER ALIVE AGAIN"? >> I WAS AFRAID THAT YOU WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED. >> AFRAID I'D BE DISAPPOINTED? >> YEAH. >> I MEAN, SCALES AT THE DOCTOR'S DOESN'T LIE, DO THEY? >> NO, BUT IT JUST DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT'S THAT MUCH WHEN YOU'VE GOT SO MUCH MORE TO GO. IT'S WONDERFUL TO FINALLY SEE MY FAMILY AGAIN. BUT DEEP DOWN, I WAS EXTREMELY ASHAMED OVER ALL THE WEIGHT THAT I HAD LET MYSELF PUT ON. AND MY NEPHEW, BLESS HIS HEART, HE ALWAYS SAYS, "AUNT LISSA, ARE YOU SKINNY YET?" [ CHUCKLES ] HE THINKS THAT THE SURGERY JUST MADE ME SKINNY INSTANTLY. I CANNOT WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT UNTIL DAD SEES ME. I THINK HE'LL BE SURPRISED. YOU START TO REALIZE THINGS YOU DIDN'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT BEFORE, HOW MUCH LIFE HAS PASSED YOU BY, HOW MUCH YOU MISSED. >> SURPRISE! >> SURPRISE! I HAVE 12 NIECES AND NEPHEWS, WHO I LOVE DEARLY, BUT I'VE MISSED OUT ON THEM. [ Voice breaking ] I DIDN'T GO TO THEIR SPORTING EVENTS. I DIDN'T GO TO HIGH-SCHOOL GRADUATIONS, 'CAUSE I WAS EMBARRASSED. >> I CAN TELL SHE'S LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT. >> I CRIED. THEY'RE LIKE, "MICHELLE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" I'M LIKE, "LOOK AT MY SISTER!" >> MELISSA, JUST COME HERE TO ME. >> IT'S GREAT HAVING HER HOME, HAVING ALL THESE KIDS AROUND HER. ABSOLUTELY GREAT. >> I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU LET THIS BABY EAT PIZZA. >> SHE LOVES HER NIECES AND NEPHEWS SO, SO MUCH. SHE CAN ACTUALLY PLAY WITH THEM AND DO THINGS WITH THEM. I HOPE THAT SHE CAN EVENTUALLY HAVE A BABY OF HER OWN, 'CAUSE SHE LOVES CHILDREN. [ LAUGHTER ] [ GUITAR PLAYS UP-TEMPO MUSIC ] >> TIME. >> TIME'S UP! AW. >> I'M REALLY NERVOUS. OH, MY GOD. IT'S VERY HARD FOR ME TO LET MY AUNTS AND UNCLES AND COUSINS SEE ME LOOK THE WAY I LOOK, EVEN AFTER LOSING SOME OF THE WEIGHT FROM THE WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 'CAUSE I'M STILL NOT A NORMAL PERSON'S SIZE. >> LAST TIME I SEEN HER, SHE COULDN'T WALK. I'M JUST TICKLED TO DEATH TO SEE YOU WALK. YOU'RE COMING INTO IT. >> I'M TRYING REAL HARD. >> THAT'S THE WAY. I'M PROUD OF YOU. >> THANK YOU, PA PA. >> SHE LOOKS GREAT. IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. IT TAKES A LOT OF WORRIES OFF MY MIND. >> EVERYBODY, GET OFF! MELISSA'S GONNA SLIDE! >> YOU WANT TO START MOVING ON WITH YOUR LIFE BECAUSE IT'S BEEN ON PAUSE FOR SO LONG. BUT IT'S NOT AS EASY AS THAT. AAH! [ LAUGHS ] [ LAUGHTER ] MY BUSINESS IS COMING OFF! [ LAUGHTER ] >> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> SHE'S OVER THERE. LOOK, SHE'S RIGHT THERE. LOOK. [ LAUGHTER ] >> LET'S GO. >> OH, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT. >> [ SNIFFLES ] >> LET'S GO IN THE HOUSE. >> [ Voice breaking ] I'M ALL RIGHT. >> DON'T CRY. >> THEY EMBARRASSED HER AS MUCH AS THEY DID ON THAT THING. >> IT'S HARD. IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, A LITTLE ACCOMPLISHMENT, AND THEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS JUST TAKES IT AWAY. I'M SO HAPPY THAT I WENT TO THE CELEBRATION. BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT, I NEED TO STOP WANTING INSTANT GRATIFICATION. IT'LL COME IN TIME. I'M GONNA KEEP WORKING, 'CAUSE IT WILL COME IN TIME. [ SNIFFLES ] >> I FEAR FAILURE EVERY DAY. BUT IF I LET THAT GET ME, THEN I WOULD EASILY BE BACK UP TO 600 POUNDS. I'VE LOST 210 POUNDS, BUT I'M STILL FAT. SEE THIS? THAT ABSOLUTELY GROSSES ME OUT. I CAN'T STAND TO LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR. IT JIGGLES. LIKE, TERRIBLY JIGGLES. YEAH, I CAN LIFT, AND IT'S JUST LIKE, "UGH." THIS IS ONE OF THE THINGS I CAN'T WAIT FOR HIM TO REMOVE, BUT IT'S EMBARRASSING AT THE SAME TIME TO SHOW YOU. IT'S JUST A FAT PACK OF SKIN AND FAT. ISN'T THAT DISGUSTING? AND IT WAS BIGGER. ON FRIDAY, HE'S GOING TO REMOVE THE FAT PACK AND THEN SOME STOMACH SKIN. I CANNOT WAIT. I CANNOT WAIT. >> JUST A SECOND, MISS MELISSA, OKAY, HONEY? >> OW. >> I'M SORRY. >> MELISSA, IT'S OKAY. >> GOING INTO SURGERY, I WAS SCARED TO DEATH. >> HOW ARE YOU TODAY? >> [ Voice breaking ] IT WAS EASIER LAST TIME. >> OKAY. >> I WAS CRYING HYSTERICALLY. JUST REALLY SCARED. I DON'T REMEMBER BEING THIS SCARED LAST TIME. WHAT IS THAT SAYING? "NO PAIN, NO GAIN." [ CHUCKLES ] IN MY CASE, "NO PAIN, NO LOSS." [ CHUCKLES ] DR. NOWZARADAN ASKED ME THREE TIMES OUTSIDE THE OPERATING ROOM IF I WAS SURE THAT I WANTED TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS. I WAS SO SCARED, BUT I WAS READY. >> TODAY, WE'RE GONNA TAKE SOME EXCESSIVE SKIN OFF OF MELISSA'S THIGH AND ABDOMEN, TO HELP HER TO BE ABLE TO MOVE AROUND AND WALK BETTER. >> I ALWAYS SAY THEY DID SURGERY ON MY STOMACH, BUT HE REALLY SHOULD HAVE DONE IT ON MY BRAIN, BECAUSE IT GOES THAT DEEP. THE ROOT OF MY PROBLEMS GO TO CHILDHOOD. EVERY SINGLE POUND THAT WAS ON MY BODY WAS AN EMOTION OF SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED IN MY LIFE. WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, I WAS MOLESTED. FOR THE LONGEST TIME, I BLAMED MYSELF INSTEAD OF BLAMING THE PERSON WHO REALLY DID IT. HOW A PERSON COULD DO THAT TO A CHILD, I DON'T KNOW. AND MINE WEREN'T GROWN ADULTS. THEY WERE OLDER, BUT THEY WEREN'T GROWN ADULTS. THEY WERE TEENAGERS -- 16, 17, 18 -- I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY. I WAS YOUNG ENOUGH -- I THINK I WAS IN SECOND, THIRD GRADE, SO I DON'T THINK THAT I CONSCIOUSLY THOUGHT, "I'M GONNA GET FAT AND THEY WON'T DO IT." I'VE NEVER HAD THE GUTS TO SAY ANYTHING TO THE TWO PEOPLE WHO DONE IT. BUT IF I DID, THE FIRST THING I WOULD SAY TO THEM IS, "YOU ARE A MAJOR PART -- A MAJOR PART OF WHY I AM LIKE I AM TODAY." I AM THE FIRST PERSON TO SAY I GOT LIKE I AM BECAUSE OF ME. BUT THAT IS A MAJOR PART. I NEVER DEALT WITH THE HURT. IT WAS JUST THERE. OH, GOSH. IT HURTS. >> I THINK THEY SAID THEY STARTED AT 9:30, SO 6 HOURS TO GET OFF 60 POUNDS. >> IT'S THE FINAL PRODUCT. >> WOW. OKAY. >> THAT'S A LOT OF SKIN. >> NOW, DOES THAT GO ON ICE OR SOMETHING? >> YES. >> YEAH. >> HURTS SO BAD. DO I LOOK DIFFERENT? >> YEAH, YOU DO. YOU DO. >> [ TALKING INDISTINCTLY ] >> I'M VERY PROUD OF HER. I'M GLAD THAT SHE DECIDED TO DO IT AND DIDN'T BACK OUT AND HAD THE COURAGE TO GO THROUGH IT. I'M VERY PROUD OF HER. >> IT'S FUNNY TO BE ABLE TO SEE MY LAP. >> SHE LOOKS GOOD. >> MY LEGS LOOK HUGE NOW. [ CHUCKLES ] THEY WEIGHED ME THIS MORNING, AND SHE'S LIKE, YOU'RE 389 POUNDS. 389 POUNDS. IT'S BEEN 10 YEARS SINCE I'VE BEEN 389 POUNDS. IT WAS JUST EXCITING TO BE UNDER 400 POUNDS. OH, IT'S SO EXCITING. >> I'M JUST DOING THAT. SHE SAID THAT DRESS DEFINITELY LOOKS DIFFERENT ON HER NOW THAN WHEN SHE CAME IN HERE. >> YES! >> IT'S NICE TO REALIZE THAT THERE'S A WHOLE LOT LESS OF ME. IF I HAD OPENED MY EYES AND REALIZED WHAT I REALIZE NOW, I'D NEVER BE IN THIS SITUATION. I, EVERY DAY, WAKE UP AND SAY, "I NEED A REASON NOT TO EAT A PIECE OF CAKE TODAY. I NEED A REASON NOT TO EAT A GALLON OF ICE CREAM TODAY." >> ALL RIGHT, LADIES. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WE'LL SEE Y'ALL NEXT TIME. >> MY MAIN REASON FOR DOING IT IS LIVING. >> GET DOWN. SOMETIMES I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I DON'T KNOW THE FACE LOOKING AT ME, BECAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER LOOKING LIKE THIS BEFORE. THE LAST TIME THAT I HAD A PAIR OF BLUE JEANS ON WAS APRIL 1, 1999. OH, MY GOSH! THEY FASTEN. [ CHUCKLES ] I GOT JEANS ON. I FEEL LIKE I'M STARTING A WHOLE NEW LIFE, THAT I'M GETTING A SECOND CHANCE. THE FIRST TIME I WEIGHED IN AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE, I WEIGHED IN AT 653 POUNDS. [ LAUGHS ] >> I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU. >> YOU'RE DOING GREAT. >> I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU ALL WEEK. >> IT'S LIKE, I'M HALF THE WOMAN I USED TO BE. I'M JUST HALF THE PERSON I USED TO BE. THIS IS MY FOURTH OUTFIT TODAY. >> PLEASE, CAN WE JUST GET GOING? >> I'M GOING TO TAKE MY DRIVER'S TEST. THE COOL THING ABOUT ME GETTING MY DRIVER'S LICENSE IS I'LL NEVER BE HOME. >> [ SIGHS ] >> DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS BEFORE WE BEGIN? >> I GUESS I JUST WANT HER TO DO GOOD AND GET HER DRIVER'S LICENSE BACK SO I DON'T HAVE TO [Chuckling] DO ALL THE DRIVING ANYMORE. >> I AM VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY HAPPY. >> IS THAT ALL? >> THAT'S IT. YOU'RE ALL DONE. >> THANK YOU. HAVE A GREAT DAY. >> YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO DRIVE? >> I'M POSITIVE. THANKS. THIS IS MY CHART. I STARTED MARKING THEM OUT TO THE WEIGHTS I WAS LOSING. THAT'S WHERE I'M AT AND WHERE I WANT TO BE. BUT THAT HELPS ME. ANYTIME I FEEL LIKE SNACKING, I COME IN HERE AND I LOOK AT IT, BECAUSE THERE'S, LIKE, JUNK FOOD ALL AROUND THIS HOUSE. CHRIS PACKS HIS LUNCH. CHRIS EATS JUNK FOOD. THIS STOMACH AREA WAS 120 INCHES IN CIRCUMFERENCE. AND NOW IT IS... WHAT IS IT? >> I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T -- MOVE YOUR FINGER A LITTLE BIT. 48". >> NO, IT'S NOT. >> YES, IT IS >> IT'S TWISTED OR SOMETHING. IT CAN'T BE THAT LITTLE. >> IT'S 48"! WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT IT? >> IT IS 48", AIN'T IT? >> YEAH. >> [ CHUCKLES ] THAT'S AMAZING. I LOVE LIFE. I REALLY FEEL IT IS A SHAME THAT I HAVE TO SLEEP, BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I WASTED SO MUCH OF MY LIFE. COME ON. >> ALL RIGHT. >> I HAD SO MUCH ENERGY, AND I WAS READY FOR IT. I WAS READY TO GET MY LIFE BACK. >> NO, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TAG BACK LIKE THAT. BUT LIFE IS STILL A LITTLE OVERWHELMING FOR ME. I CRAVE THE WEIRDEST THINGS -- SALT, SALTINE CRACKERS, CHINESE FOOD. I KNOW, WHEN I'M GOING TO EAT THEM, THAT I'M GOING TO THROW UP. BUT SOMETIMES, HONESTLY, IF I'M CRAVING IT BAD ENOUGH, IT'S WORTH GETTING SICK FOR. >> REMEMBER, WHEN YOU FIRST WALKED IN, YOU COULDN'T -- I MEAN, I THOUGHT, "OH, MY GOSH. SHE'S NOT GONNA FIT THROUGH THE HALL," 'CAUSE YOU WERE SO BIG. AND LOOK AT YOU NOW. >> I'M STILL BIG. LOOK AT THE SADDLEBAGS. >> OH, NO. >> OH, THAT'S CHANGED. THAT'S CHANGED. >> HEY. HOW ARE YOU, MELISSA? >> I'M DOING GOOD. >> LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT YOU. >> LOOK AT THAT. YEAH, MY LEGS ARE AWFUL. >> YEAH, TURN AROUND MORE AND MORE AND MORE. I THINK PRIORITY WILL BE TO GET RID OF THIS. MELISSA HAS A LOT OF WEIGHT TO LOSE, AND SO SHE'S GONNA HAVE A LOT OF LOOSE SKIN. YOU PROBABLY HAVE 50 TO 60 POUNDS OF EXTRA SKIN. SHE'S GONNA NEED MULTIPLE SURGERY TO REMOVE THE EXTRA SKIN. BY THE TIME WE FINISH YOUR SURGERY, YOU'RE GONNA BE LIKE 280 POUNDS OR LESS. >> I WANT TO BE. >> NOW, YOU WANT TO BE WHAT YOU GOT TO BE, AND JUST TAKE IT ONE STEP AT A TIME AND QUIT TRYING TO RUSH THINGS. I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU SINCE DAY ONE, PERFECTION TAKES TIME. >> IF HE LIPOSUCTIONS NOT JUST EXCESS SKIN, BUT IF HE ACTUALLY LIPOSUCTIONS FAT, THEN IT MAY BE A BIGGER NUMBER, TOO. I JUST WANT TO BE DONE. I'M READY TO BE A MOM. I'M READY TO HAVE A JOB. >> YOU CAN'T RUSH IT. YOU CANNOT RUSH PERFECTION. HELLO? ARE YOU MAD AT ME? >> I THINK, HONESTLY, SOMETIMES YOU MISS THE FAT ME. >> AND WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? >> 9 TIMES OUT OF 10, WHEN WE EAT OUT, IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE HUNGRY. BUT YOU DON'T DISCOURAGE ME WHEN YOU SEE ME DOING THINGS THAT I SHOULDN'T BE DOING. >> YEAH, I KNOW. >> I THINK THAT YOU LIKED KNOWING THAT I NEEDED YOU. I CAN'T BELIEVE WE FORGOT THE CAN OPENER. >> I DIDN'T FORGET IT. I'LL MAKE THIS WORK. ARE YOU KIDDING? OH, RIGHT HERE. I'M A BIG BOY. I KNOW HOW TO OPEN UP A CAN OF CHILI. I'LL ASK HER IF SHE NEEDS HELP, AND SHE'S LIKE, "LEAVE ME ALONE. I GOT IT." "OKAY." >> IT'S A LOT OF THINGS THAT COME ALONG WITH LOSING WEIGHT. CHRIS AND I HAVE TO REBUILD A WHOLE NEW RELATIONSHIP, BECAUSE OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP WAS BASED ON ME BEING FAT. IT'S A LOT HARDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE. BUT EVEN THROUGH EVERYTHING THAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH, EVEN THROUGH EVERYTHING THAT CHRIS AND I HAVE BEEN THROUGH, I AM LIVING THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE. I KNEW, 100%, WITHOUT THIS SURGERY, I WAS GONNA DIE. EVERYTHING THAT I COULDN'T DO BEFORE, I DO, AND MORE. I CAN MOVE AND BREATHE AND NOT WAKE UP EVERY DAY HURTING. THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT WORTH IT. NOTHING IN MY LIFE HAS BEEN EASY -- NOTHING. THIS IS A BATTLE THAT I WANT TO WIN. THIS IS SOMETHING I WANTED TO FIGHT FOR. THIS IS HOW YOU'RE WALKING. GOT TO KEEP GOING. GOT TO KEEP GOING.